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Unexpected Consiquences part 1
By puma
A jet engine roared overhead as the quiet beep of a security checkpoint was heard. Scott Copes was gently setting his new Sony Vaio onto the belt and he passed through the security arch. A beep went off.
“Sir can you please empty your pockets” a security guard asked.
“Their empty” said Scott who was not too good at anything that meant raising his voice or anything that involved him being hurt in anyway. He put his hands in his pockets and pulled out the lining.” See they’re completely empty”
“Ok sir. Please take off your shoes”
“My shoes, why my shoes? I don’t have a bomb or any knives or stabbing weapons I just need to get to New York for an important business trip. Believe me I don’t want to be put back time wise. There is an important meeting for my company-“
“Sir, if I were you I would be quiet. You just said Bomb and Knife in the same sentence. This is a child and family friendly airport. We don’t want anyone to think you’re a crazy man”
“Yah, Yah I agree just what do you want me to do?” Scott sounded a slight bit agitated since his flight took off in 45 minutes.
“Ok Sir, if you’ll take off your shoes we just need to check them. Once you’ve done that please step back through the arch”.
Scott slipped off his brand new business shoes and went through the arch. No buzzer went off. The security guard put his shoes through the metal detector. Scott flexed his fingers while waiting anxiously. Suddenly there was a screech and smoke erupted from the machine. The sound of torn leather was familiar to Scott’s ear. The security guard stuck his hand into the machine and pulled out his ruined shoes.
“Great, now I have no shoes. I can still get on the plane right. I mean you were the one who screwed them up,” Scott said angrily.
“No Sir. You will need shoes to board the plane. No shoes, no admittance. Have a nice day”
“What the hell are you talking about? Just because your brain is the size of an ant’s means I have to buy another pair of shoes! Where am I supposed to get them, pull them out of my ass?”
“SIR that’s enough. I will ask you to leave if you are going to use such obscenities. There is a shoe repair around the corner. Now go off and fix them. We stop loading planes 25 minutes before take off.”
Scott practically ran off toward the shoes repair. The whole way he was thinking “how am I going to get these repaired”? His shoes were badly ruined but he had no other choice. He arrived at the shop right as the man operating it put the closed sign up.
“You gotta be playing with my mind. What you guys close at 3 p.m.?”
“No, Mister, we close if we need a lunch break. I worked through the normal lunch so now I’m going to get my own. I’ll be back in 10 minutes”
Scott was now furious. “No man. I need my shoes repaired now. That lumbering beast over there screwed up my shoes. My plane takes off in 30 minutes. I have 5 minutes to get on it. If you do not fix my shoes and or replace them I will beat you within an inch of your life!”
The shoe repairman said “eat me, there’s a reebok across the way over there. Get a new pair as wipe”
Scott sprinted to the store. He quickly browsed for a size 11 and threw a one hundred dollar bill at the cashier and as he went to his plane he slipped them on. When he got there the gate sign said leaving in 27 minutes. He had 2 minutes to spare. He gave is ticket to the lady at the gate and ran on board.
Once on board he looked for his seat. He finally found it and a mother and 3 kids were sitting in his row.
“Uh, miss. I think you are sitting in MY seat.”
The lady responded “Tough shit. Find a different one.”
Scott looked around. There were no available seats. “Look you dumb porker, I hear that you and your three little pigs will be better accommodated near the lunch cart. So why don’t you run off and sit in the handicapped section, ‘cause I know you have one of those handicapped stickers on your car. I know you have that because you’re afraid to walk the extra 200 feet and loose 400 calories. What do you think about that? I’ll give you a pop-tart upon your movement from my seat. Then your kids can divide it up and achieve their goal of getting bigger boobs than Pamela Anderson. So we’ll all be good friends and have a party at McDonald’s after the flight. Okay!”
The lady was appalled and yelled “RAPE!”
Within minutes, Scott was escorted off the plane and to his car where he was strictly told that he would be getting a call for his court date. Scott’s escorts walked back to the airport and left Scott to reflect. In about 6 hours he would be getting a call from the fat lady’s lawyer saying that he was going to court.
That night a few hours after Scott got home he got the call. He picked it up.
“Scott Copes?” a deep voice on the other line asked.
“Yah. This is he. What can I do for you”
“Well to start off you can stop raping women in front of their kids you sick basterd”.
“Well first off all I wasn’t raping her, the fat ass was in my seat!”
“I beg your pardon. My client is handicapped. She can’t help her obesity”
“Bull shit. Every Saturday I manage to take four hours out of my busy schedule to go to the gym. It’s not too expensive. It is her fault that she’s a cow.”
“Back to business Mr. Copes. My client is prosecuting you all the way to hell for what you did to her and her children. Not only was it rude but incredibly immature. I would expect much more from a 33-year-old businessman. You live in your fancy pantsy house in Orange County and drive your Lexus to work every day. How do you live with yourself?”
“Look you, you’re a god damn lawyer. You live better than me. In fact Anna Nicole Smiths twin who was on the plane is paying you like 800 an hour for this phone call. So don’t feed me bullshit about you not being able to afford what I have.”
“Mr. Copes, Mrs. Julie Fallon is suing you for… oh here it is, 2,000,000 dollars. She is taking you to court in a 2 days. I suggest you take some of your vacation days and figure out what your gonna do.”
“How ‘bout I just send her a years worth of fudge and we call it a draw. She gets what she wants, another reason to have a handicapped sticker, and I get some peace and quiet.”
“No Mr. Copes. See you on Friday” and with that the lawyer hung up.
9/10/2003 7:28:07 PM
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