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I found myself laughing at the dialogue exchanged between Scott and everyone else. As Martin said, a bit unrealistic, but that doesn't make it any less humorous.
Grammatical errors should be paid attention. But good work, fun to read.
...Pete
At 9:08:58 PM on 9/11/2003, Majestic-1 said:
The sad thing is, shit like that actually happens in this country.
At 6:35:12 PM on 9/11/2003, puma said:
thanks man it like 10 parts ive written parts 1, 2, 3, adn 4
i think ill be posting them up soon\
At 6:03:13 PM on 9/11/2003, MartinRandle said:
hey you said that twice
hey you said that - haha just kidding..
Well I assume it was the start of a longer story. Otherwise Toby is right the one liner is almost the entire point of the whole story.
On a positive note, I like the dialogue, the shoe scene was a little unrealistic. The airport would be responsible for such damage and there is no reason on this planet why he couldn't get on a plane without shoes on.
They also would not allow anyone on a plane without a place to sit. That simply wouldn't happen.
That aside - I was very impressed with the style and the attitude of the lead character, it flows like a dark comedy, I am reminded of Robert Rankin, though with more of an American twist.
At 2:29:43 PM on 9/11/2003, tobycompy2.0 said:
GeeZ, the one-liner was longer than the fan fiction.
At 2:29:43 PM on 9/11/2003, tobycompy2.0 said:
GeeZ, the one-liner was longer than the fan fiction.
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