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Jurassic Park Breakout: The Return, The Advent, The Comming
By Spino144
"I'm on an island, a body of land which is surrounded by water."
"You know Australia is a body of land which is surrounded by water. Is Australia an island?"
"You are an idiot, ass-face!"
On a distant planet ruled by raptors, the raptor leader, DREMEO SAURIAN, an eight foot tall reptilian creature with huge birdlike eyes, sat at his telescope, an instrument for studying the heavens far advanced than anything earth had during the 21st Century. Its eyes were what made DREMEO the most admirable. They were the eyes of an eagle, large and gleamy. Its claws were that of an earth raptor, similar to the InGen bread raptors, crafted to open doors. But unlike earth raptors the exterritorial raptors were by far advanced in learning behavior, knowing how to perform surgery on one another and so on.
A large computer in DREMEO'S private quarters turned on. It had a large flat panel. The computer spoke in a robotic tone:
STEP 1: Send troops to Earth
STEP 2: Kidnap the President of the United States, clone him, and eat the original
STEP 3: Find out whether Australia is an island, continent, or country
STEP 4: Go to all dinosaur-infested territories and rescue our primitive family members
STEP 5: Use the President's clone to conquer the Earth
DROMEO entered a great hall. Within it there were five chairs, all wooden with carvings of ancient Raptor Gods etched on their handles and legs. On these chairs sat five alien raptor scientists.
One of these scientists raised his hand hesitantly and spoke, "When we bring human captives to this planet we can put them in dog cages and feed them dog food and when they ask to go to the bathroom to empty their stomachs we can attach a chain to their necks and force them to walk around outside and empty themselves on trees and bushes."
They all laughed.
"Good! Go to the Raptor Internet. I want lots of dog food. The cheap, bad tasting kind, not the expensive good tasting kind. And lots of doggy chains and doggy houses. And once we abduct all the male specimens of the species we will cut off their male reproductive organs so they won't bread and runamock on this planet.
They all laughed some more.
TO BE CONTINUED SOON
6/27/2007 12:25:13 AM
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