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Explosion!
By tobycompy2.0
Johnny looked at his watch, this is it, ground zero. Think of all that we have accompished, would you like to say a few words to mark the occasion?
With a gun barrel in between your teeth you speak only in vowels-- Oh, whoops sorry sorry sorry, Slackin' off into another movie again. Okay, where were we? Oh, yes okay, the story. Wait, what was the guy's name again? I'll just scroll back to up to the top of the page. Dum dee dum dee dum... Hmmm Ah! Here we go!
Johnny looked at his watch.. you know what? Let's call him Jacque, and lets make it a sundial.
Jacque looked at his sundial, it was 3:00 pm, time to-- The First rule of Fight Club is... Sorry, sorry. It was time to go to his massage, you know what? Let's make it a secret agent meeting and lets have everybody in the meeting room be hot chicks with breasts the size of Pamela Andersons, only natural and minus the Hepatitus C.
So Jacque went to his secret agent meeting and walked into the door and saw all the ladies. Oh, man that would be awesome. Jacque sat down and then a TV popped out from the ceiling. It was the guy that assigned him secret missions that you only saw from the TV, you know. And we'll call him... Gromer.
"Hey, Gromer what's up?" Said um... what was it again? Oh, yeah Jacque.
"There's been an explosion at Poophead Mall!(hee hee)" Said Gromer.
"Time to kick some terrorist butt!" Jacque put on some sunglasses and jumped out the window. It looked cool but how would he be abled to survive? Okay, we'll give him a hanglider.
Jacque glided down on his hanglider, and lets have the batman logo on the back of it, that would be cool.
Jacque came to the mall and saw the terrorist, we'll call him.. Shiny mowing down on unsuspecting shoppers at Abercrombie & Fitch, you know what? Shoppers of Abercrombie & Fitch deserve to die, don't they? So we'll make it a GameStop.
Jacque looked up at the terrorist and then jumped up in slow motion, which was really fast motion slowed down to make it look like it was going slow-motion, but it really isn't slow motion, it is fast motion slowed down. So if it wasn't slow motion you wouldn't be able to see it, because it is going in super fast motion, it would look like a blur without the slow motion, and it isn't regular motion slowed down to slow motion either and it isn't really going that slow too, got it?
Jacque tackled the terrorist, it was Shiny right? And Shiny fell into the coin pond.
Then Jacque took out a machine gun, I don't know where he found it, he just did. And looked at Shiny and said: "Make a wish!" And fired at the terrorist.
Okay... now lets see... what should I put in there next? Just then the TV thing popped out again and it was Gromer. "Jacque! There has been an explosion at CrapFace Mall!"
Jacque looked at the camera or whatever would be facing you and said: "Let's Go!" And then drove off on a motorcycle. Yeah, a motorcycle.
TO BE CONTINUED...
....maybe
8/2/2002 5:06:28 PM
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