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How To GET Girls and Keep Them---The Manual for the everyday guy
By solidshoe
Solidshoe's manual on Getting Girls: First edition.
How to Get Girls: A complete resource for the guy looking to snag Miss Right, or even Miss Wrong.
What's the purpose of this faq? Are you kidding? Let's face it, so many of us guys have nobody (my self excluded :P), and why? Why be alone if you don't have to be? Simple answer: Don't be! You can have any woman you want, just as long as you follow some rules, which will outlined below. After reading the techniques in this manual, you will have what it takes to take on any woman and win. You will get the girl, and you will be the envy of all of your male friends. So, enough talk, lets get at em.
How this manual works:
It's quite simple really. Below you will find classifications of both men and women. You need only to locate your type of personality, and read the notes provided.
Contents:
1. What an old man once told me, and what you need to know before reading this faq.
2. What kind of guy are you?
3. Situations and how to make the most of them.
4. No-win situations.
5. Adjustments, and why they are very hard.
6. Input from readers.
7. The girly index
1. What an old man once told me.
He was to a true master of the craft, and he filled my head with some simple, yet undeniably true information.
"You see, this here world is simply a chess board, and men and women are the players in this game. Woman are blessed because they have it easy. The women ARE the game. The men are the players, and it is our job to play the game. You see, women are put here for a purpose: they are here to be moved like pawns on the board. The men gotta move em, but never, ever should the man become the game and not the player. The universe gets thrown out of motherfucking balance when the girls try to be the players, and the men try to run the game. Be a player, man, be a fucking player."
Now what this beer soaked elderly gent, with yellow stains on all his teeth, was saying, I didn't know, at least not at first. I never had any confidence when it came to women, and who the hell was this old bum to tell me that it was supposed to be easy? Well that whino was right. It's simple really.
The balance between men and women, is simple to understand. Women are like the ace in the deck: they can have multiple values. The ultimate goal is different for all men, but the woman must be played correctly to get to that goal. Play the ace at the wrong time, and you loose. Play it right, and you win. Simple really.
Men are supposed to play the hands, not become the hands. A simple example is "running game", something many of todays guys feel they have to do to get leeway with a girl. Running Game is simply telling a girl what they want to hear, so that you can get in a position to reap the benefits. It works, but it goes against the balance of the universe. You see, you are supposed to play the game, not be the game. When a female wants you to run that game on her, it's because she isn't accepting you for who you are. Now this could be because of a couple of things: you aren't presenting yourself correctly, she's stuck up, she likes you but she plays hard to get, she is out of your league. That last one is rubbish. NO female is out of your league. You are the player, you say what goes where. Don't waste your breath running game. Become a real player, and you never have to worry about being fake again.
2. What kinda guy are you.
Ok, this is where it gets blatently honest. I'll break down all the different type of guys, what your hang-ups are, what type of girl you should have, and what type you need to stay away from.
* The Lame*
We have to start here. So many of us have been the lame in our lifetime, and so many of us still are.
The lame is a sad person really. The Lame can be ANY age, so do not believe what they say, when they say the lame must be a child. Bullshit. The lame does everything in the opposite of how it should be done. That's pretty much what makes the Lame what he is: choice. The lame can be anything he wants to be, but chooses to be a rutted down silly person who rather not try things the correct way.
Now don't misunderstand. The Lame may have extensive knowledge of the girls, may even know what to say to get them, but because he is a lame, he uses his gifts on the wrong females, and by choice, not by consequence. The Lame would rather appeal to the FAT girl, than to the SKINNY girl, not because he has lowered expectations, but because he just has to be different.
Worse, Lames are known liars. "I got lots of booty last night" from a known virgin, is considered lame. But again, that's why his is Lame, because he feels the need to talk about it, and not do it. A broad field really, but everyone has been here. Most of us are born as lames, and some of us never outgrow it, simply because it's so damned easy to be different. Now lately, Lame has become mis-used, with people throwing the word around to any person that is not hip. 'Hip' is a consequence of popularity, which has little bearing at the moment. So when I talk about being a lame, I'm talking about the choice to do things wrong, not a person who just isn't popular.
The Lame and his Women-------****
*Fat Girl*
Otherwise known as 'Tubby Betty', "Linda the Blimp", "Big Drawers McGrawl","Fat Back hoe", "Abdominous Maximous", "Big Bitch", "Ole Fat Stomach Ass","Gut Having ass", etc.
Fat girls are one of the many prime targets of the Lame. A: Because it is considered uncool to date them, and thus the Lame must rebell. B: Because they are easy targets. There are many reasons why a girl may become fat, and many sizes that range from 'thick' to 'lard-ass', but rest assured, fat is fat. It's not muscle, so it's fat.
Fat girls may be cute in the face, or dog ugly, pear shaped, or jello shaped, it doesn't matter, because the majority of them have complexes that range from guilt from eating too much, to guilt because they are just not socially acceptable. The fact is, there is guilt there, and the Lame can use his silly charms to get the fat girl. Should the lame do this? Yes, but only if it is his honest intention, and not just another ploy at being lame. Fat girls are seldom the target of nice, wholesome guys, and the Lame knows this. He will lure them in with his charms and date them just to be different and stupid.
*The Ugly Girl*
Otherwise known as "Hannibal Lisa", "Grizzly Face Broad","Stephy the Doberman Pincher"," Damn Ugly Hoe","ugly ass bitch","Fugly Ass Bitch (fucking ugly),"etc.
There is reward to be had by the ugly girl, though the Lame seldomn dates her for that reason. Again, he is doing it to be different.
There are sooooooo many different races of ugly girls, so I'll use Black ugly girls in this example. Ugly Black girls are born by a law I have coined *Nature's propensity to balance the good with the bad*. Simply put, with many black girls today, the uglier they are in the face, the more nature is compelled to over-equip them in other areas. I'm of course talking about the dog ugly black girls with the hot bodies that defy description. The uglier the face it seems, the more jiggly the ass and the rouder and perkier the tits. Most of these ugly girls have super model bodies, and it is only because they were born with the face of a jackel.
Of course, the Lame doesn't go for these women, but instead the ugly women that have nothing up top or below the neck. They are just wrong, and the lame flaunts them proudly.
*The Tramp*
Otherwise known as "Easy Sally","hoe","Trick","Slut","Nasty Girl","been around the block","nasty white girl","trailer trash","dime store hooker", etc.
We all know this girl. She may be a nice girl at heart, but she just *has* to sleep with every guy she knows. Sometimes, she tries really hard, and just sleeps with all the guys she dates, but hell, when she's dated as many as 50 guys in three months, it's all the same. Then again, she might just be the local nympho. In any case, she usually has a nice heart that just takes second place to what her pussy wants.
The Lame will kill to have the tramp. The tramp is, in effect, a lame herself, and in this case, two wrongs actually do make a right. Both of these individuals are so backward in the way they do things, that they can't help but fall in love with each other, however brief that love may be. This is the "pretty woman' relationship that just won't last longer than a couple of months, because both of these individuals have serious issues that will conflict sooner or later, and that will drive the Tramp back into the arms of the crowd, and the Lame back to hunt for more roughage.
Correcting the problem***
If you are a lame, the first step is identifying what kind of lame you are. Are you a Lame who has the ability to talk to cute, fine girls, but just won't? Do you even have a girlfriend? Are you even a lame? Remember, if you aren't popular, so what. If you are afraid to talk to girls, you are not a lame, because the lame can do such things, he just won't. You could be a lame in respects other than girls, but this document applies to girls.
If you are a lame who just refuses to find a girlfriend, enough already. Different is not always a good thing, and you must have a girl. Don't, I repeat, don't stoop to running game. Yes, you are capable of it, but do something right for a change. Since you have no girl at the moment, do what I like to call "stalking the field". Be a lion. Your goal is to move away from Lameness, and in doing so, you're gonna want to establish yourself as a player by going right for the gusto. You're going to want:
*The Smart Girl*
Otherwise known as "Miss Know it all","Jew Girl","teachers pet","That bitch that ruined the curve","Four eyes","smart ass hoe","miss 4.0","all brains no booty", etc.
These girls are POPULAR, and better yet, they will be something one day. Better yet still, they are often attractive! I won't kid you, if you are a lame, you're gonna have a hell of a time getting with a Smart girl, unless of course you are smart yourself (which is very possible, even likely in fact).
To get with the smart girl, you're gonna need to be understanding, and you're going to have to lie. Now, lying is the weapon of choice for lame who wants to graduate quickly and fiercly. Lying is not the same as running game. Running game is just telling a girl what she wants to hear, long enough to get with her.
Lying is a bit more dramatic because once you start into it, you can't really stop. For the lame to get the smart girl, you're going to have to become somebody she wants, and that could be a number of things.
How do you do this? Simple, just talk to the girl. She WILL snub you for a bit, unless you already know her, and don't let this get you down. Find a common bond, ANYTHING, I don't care if it's her favorite baseball player, her favorite teacher, I don't care. Find that, and lie from there. Be sure to that whatever you have planned DOES NOT SOUND REHERSED. Game is meant to sound phoney, good lies aren't. Does this smart girl like the cubs? It's not merely enough that you say you like the cubs too. Your conversations should go something like this:
Wyatt::: Hey Allie, did you catch that Cubs game last night?
Allie::::Always, why?
Wyatt::::Well what did you think of Francisco's grounder to save the third (bear with me)? I thought it was a pretty good tactic, not to mention a stylish way to one-up the opposing team.
Allie::::Well, I thought they should have Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla
At that point, you're more or less in. All because you were smart enough to sit on Uncle Monty and the guys watching the game, repeating what they said word for word. Now, at this point, you aren't in the drawers, per say, but you have a common ground to speak on. From now on, limit each conversation to two things :How are you doing and Baseball.
Then stop talking to her altogether.
What, you say? That's right, nothing gets on a smart girls tits more than having a male who *appears* to be smart, snubbing them. It's strange really, because these smart girls are supposed to be secure with themselves. They live only to be smart solve problems. Popularity is usually thrust upon them. Whatever the reason, Smart girls can't stand being ignored by smart guys. It's that universal balance of the game. Even a smart girl is but an ace waiting to be played.
When you stop talking to her, you pique her interest. She's gonna suddenly miss those cozy baseball conversations, those polite hi's and hey's, and she's gonna secretly question it. Now this works for lots of types, but it especially works for the smart girls. When you see her, don't even smile, simply nod your head, like she's but on of a million people that you greet. No smart girl wants to feel like just another member of the crowd. They work hard to be above the crowd.
Watch her moods, and on the day when she seems the most pissed about anything, on the day when a simple hello would do her some good, you step back in and say:
Wyatt:::Hey Allie, how have you been? I've been looking for you.
Allie:::You have?
Wyatt::::Yeah, I missed talking to you. Bla Bla Bla Bla
Now you answer all of her nagging questions. Not only do think of her, but you actually MISS her, and not just missed her face and body, but actually, good gosh,TALKING! Smart girls, most of all, love to talk. In fact, you'll find that that's most of all they really do.
So now your conversations should be fitted to include: Hi, baseball, so what do you think about this?"
The goal now is move the conversation away from the white lies to the insides of the girl. You will be expected to care about what she thinks about things, so get used to it. As time progresses, just use logic. Buffer in more personal elements, and never, under any circumstances ask the dumb questions:
What's it like to be so smart? (You put them on a pedelstool and show that you are not smart and certainly not worthy of them)
So, can I get your number? (No stupid, because smart people don't ask like that. You would say something like "I would really appreciate you running your number by me. There are so many things I'd like to discuss...)
Wanna go out tonight? (No idiot, you say "Say, would you mind If I got us both a bite to eat later on tonight...)
Can we have sex? (It will be a long, long time before you get to this point, so when the time comes, don't screw it up, just say "I think we should take our relationship to the next level")
I bet you aren't as smart as me? (Don't even joke around! Some of these girls live by the books. Don't ever say it, not even in jest. You'll pay.)
Now, lets say Wyatt, being a lame, had to do things his way.
Wyatt::::Hey Allie, did you catch the Cubs game last night?
Allie:::Yes, why?
Wyatt::::Wasn't it cool how Francisco threw that pitch to win the third inning?
Allie:::You lik the cubs?
Wyatt:::Yeah, I like them a lot.
Allie:::o...............k
Congratulations. You now look and sound like the guy from 'Of mice and men" the one who liked beans with his ketchup.
Of course, that was the quick and dirty way. You could always take up a *real* liking to baseball, and that would make your life much easier, though it would take much, much longer. Hell, while you're at it, just study and get smart. Either way, you're loosing you lameness.
If you have a girl****
If you are a lame with a girl who falls into any of the poor categorys, you owe it to yourself to loose your lameness and move on up. You have a girl, so you obviously know to say something right, when the time calls for it. Because of this, you have less options IF and only IF you are dating somebody who everybody knows (school, work), and want to move up to another person in that same location.
Everybody knows you are a lame, and you further hamper your chances by dating other social outcasts (fat, ugly, tramp). Your way back up the ladder will be hard.
If you are graduating from FAT, you're gonna want to move on to:
*The Goofy Girl*
Otherwise known as "Giggles","silly billy","nancy drew","giggly ass bitch","silly hoe","goofy ass broad",etc.
The Goofy girl is easy to get, because she finds everything so damn funny. the fact that your EX girlfriend will be fat, is making your life all the easier. Simply crack as many jokes as you can, and at your ex gf's expense, and at the same time, be real enough to warrent attraction. Say things like:
Wyatt:::I don't know what I was thinking when I went with Bertha. I mean she was nice and all, but I think i was high or somthing that day.
Wyatt::::LOL, why is my EX 300 pounds now? Thank God I aint with her now!
Wyatt::::Damn, my ex got big as a motherfucker!
Wyatt::::My Ex gf had the nerve to tell me I was eating too much one night, that girl..........."
Make her laugh, and at the same time show that you aren't the same person that was so foolish to date Fat Back Benitta. Simple really. Goofy girls like to laugh. You can be dog ugly, but if you can keep em laughing, you can keep under wraps. You never need to run game with this silly nillies, just unleash your funny bone, never get too serious, and ALWAYS laugh at what they have to say, even if it aint funny. Most goofy girls are cute, and even the ugly one's have personality. All in all, an easy sell.
Now if you're moving up from an ugly girl, or tramp, things get a bit more difficult.
If you were with an ugly girl, you're gonna want to move up to
*The Shy Girl*
Otherwise known as:"Bitch Don't talk","the goth","the quiet girl","what did you say?","little bo peep","shy trick","whispers", etc.
From ugly to shy is a good transition, simply because they aren't a whole leap and a half apart, but at the same time, there are rewards. If your ugly girl had a body, you're gonna want to move up to a shy girl with better looks and a decent body. You need to make progress. Make sure the looks balance out with the body. Lames attract Shy girls because Lames generally have the gift of gab, and shy girls want what their own mouths can't give them. If you were with a ugly girl that had a body, chances are you had to do some form of talking (unless she was so fugly she just fell in your lap for comfort), and any experience, no matter how little, is more than enough to get with the shy girl. Cute shy girls are easy game.
They long to hear the compliments that they can't bring their lips to give others. Call a shy girl pretty out the clear blue sky, and watch what happens. Her yes gleam up like santa's fucking workshop. Only "Daddy" has ever paid her a compliment, and upon doing so, you have accepted a great responsibility. She may be cute, she may be built, but be warned, the shy girl falls easily in love, and is not easy to get rid off. Getting them is easy. Getting rid of them is a pain in the ass. They want everything their fellow girls get, though they aren't about to work for half of it. They'll want to go to the movies twice as often, want to spend twice as much of your money, and take up 100% of your time. You are their new sugar daddy, and it isn't often pretty.
Break up with one, and you'll often hear "I thought you loved me!","oh, so That's how you really are","I can't ever talk to you again", so on, and so on.....these girls love to run guilt trips, but they never want to really be let go. You can often call them every name in the book, and then one day get a call from them as though nothing ever happened. A good player can hang on to a Shy girl for LIFE. As long as you don't cross them hard, you can depend on them, and again, they are easy as hell to get.
Shy girls aren't EVER popular, so it doesn't matter who the hell you went with. You could even be gay and get one. A real player has too or three of these lying around to keep the game fresh.
The hardest move though, is by far from Tramp to ANYBODY. I mean, Fucking a tramp is one thing, but dating one? Girls talk, and they aren't nice. Most of them could be tramps too, but they still run that nasty mouth. There are so many different kinds of hoes, but if you are unfortunate enough to be dating one, anything you move on to will be better. I personally suggest moving on to a VERY shy girl, because even they don't want aids, or to a fat girl. You won't get an ugly girl with a body, coming off of a relationship with a tramp, but you might get just plain ugly. Shit, you gotta start somewhere. Best idea is seek out a girl in a totally different location, and put the past behind you.....
to be continued wednesday
8/7/2002 2:33:47 AM
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