|
Fanfic Reviews--day 2
By solidshoe
Night at the Fanfics
Jurassic Park FanFic reviews by Solidshoe
A word first: I’m not the final word on this website, nor have I ever proclaimed to be. I simply choose to
voice my opinion on various fanfics, and I can vouch that no matter how popular or unpopular a fic or
author is reported to be, i’m completely fair and honest when it comes to reviews.
For those members who
feel animosity toward me because of a review I posted, I can only suggest you do a few things.
1.Discard what I say and move on to someone who will tell you what you WANT to hear.
2.Possibly take my constructive critiscm as a means to make your story better, and not as an attack (why
would I want to attack anyone?)
3.Point me to a sample of writing that you believe qualifies you as being better than what I report.
Flaming me and conspiring against me are NOT options. It’s childish and doesn’t solve anything, except let
everyone know that you really were scarred by a simple review (ONE person’s opinion at that).
Also, in regards to something I thought about, I’ve taken age into consideration as well. I have to
acknowledge that the youngest members might not be ABLE to write at a higher level than what they do at
the moment, and they should be allowed to post their stories without fear of being compared to the older,
more experienced writers. Since I don’t know anybodies age, just remember that these reviews are based on
a comparison to ALL the fics, not just those in your age group, so if you recieve a low score, and you’re a
younger member, don’t let it bother you, cause your skill level deserves time to mature like anyone elses. If
you’re in your 20’s and writing like a seven year old....heaven help you :D
Anyway, onto the reviews....
P R O J E C T S E N T I E N T Part
by Parasaur.W
“Kill me now, er do whatever you got to do.”
This is one of those stories where you probably need background information to really appreciate the current
article. Going into this story, I logically assumed this would be about dinosaurs, hunters, you know, typical
JP stuff....what I found instead was a decent story involving robots controlling their human masters.
Nothing, and I mean nothing, in this chapter seemed to have ANYTHING to do with JP at all. Now I’m not
against posting non JP stories on a JP site, but I can’t possibly rate this story against those other stories that
DO fit the criteria. Is PS a good fanfic? From what I read, it seems like a spin-off of the movie ‘Red
Planet’, which I certainly liked. I even liked the chapter, but like I said, it has NOTHING to do with JP, so
this isn’t the right place to review the story.
No rating ****
Jurassic Park IV: Extinction Full 1st and 2nd chapters
by Mr. GoodBytes
“What you are about to hear cannot leave this room”
I liked Nick Van Owen in “Lost World”. He was a decent enough character, and by the end of that movie, I
had decided that I wouldn’t mind seeing him in another Dino flick. Guess Mr. GoodBytes thought so too,
because it appears that Nick is the star of this one, just like how Malcolm became the star of the second
movie. I won’t give away the plot, but I will tell you that, at this moment, it’s a little too much like the first
hour of Lost World (the movie). I do realize that the movies were fantastic, and as a result, I’m sure there
are a ton of fanfic writers that enjoy starting their stories off just like in the films (Iceteria comes to mind).
Problem is, it’s not nearly as fun to READ it as it probably was for the author to write it. Still, considering
that 90% of the JP fanfic writers will begin their stories like this, I’ll have to make exceptions and TRY to
imagine it as if I’m seeing\hearing it for the first time. So how does the actual story flow? Quite well. One
thing that I noticed, is that the author seems to write with a rythm. The actual storyline was good, but the
pacing was a bit monotonous. The words come off in that Nick at Night “Dragnet” manner, like “Friday
night, Joe Black entered the kitchen. On that same night, his wife entered the bathroom. At 6:50, Joe left
the kitchen. At 6:52, his wife exited the bathroom”....Understand what I mean? It’s sort of robotic. Other
than that little tidbit, I was please with chapters 1 and 2. Nick Van Own is a good central character. I
imagine that, as the author gets more comfortable with his own story, the quality of the writing will grow as
well.
6.5 out of 10
I C E T E R I A - Ch. 2
by CarnaRaptor
“Some neighbors heard the screams that seemingly wouldn't stop.”
Having just reviewed Chapter 1 of this story, I figured I’d do this one a bit differently. Instead of giving it a
rating, I’ve decided to track its progress. As it stands, my initial feelings toward the first chapter were that,
if you chaged the names of the two characters, you’d have the debates in “lost world” the book all over
again. Still, the plot seemed like a good idea (dino’s and Ice), so I picked up chap 2.
As an addition to the
first chap, it’s quite good. Carnaraptor breaks away from the typical style of character development by
starting chap 2 off with some steamy sex. While I thought he was feeling the scene a little tooooo much, it
was a unique way to start off a new chapter and introduce some people. So while the score won’t change
(this chapter is not the epic kind good enough to completely turn a story around), I will say that already,
Iceteria is looking better, and that already speaks highly of the author. Keep it coming Carna, and don’t be
afraid to try other experiments as well. :P
EXTINCTION : JURASSIC PARK
by Jurassiclaw
“GET HERE AS FAST AS YOU CAN !”
Hmm, another Jp fanfic titled Extinction, also taking place after the events in JP3. I know titles aren’t
THAT hard to come up with :P Seriously though, I’d recommend one of the two authors change the title of
their respective stories. Anyway, into the story....oops, screenplay. That’s right, a screenplay. Several
things happen with fan written screenplays. They either (A: Suck (B: Copy a JP movie scene for scene (C:
Never get finished(D: Get finished and turn out quite good (this is rare). The problems with scripts is that
they just take more, more, more brain power, you can’t make many mistakes, and you absolutely CAN’T
just quit them at any time.
Screenplays are harder to write, so I have to be more forgiving considering
nobody here is a hollywood writer. So, how was this thing:
It was boring, but IMO that’s how a JP movie should start out. Movie’s don’t pace like books. You really
shouldn’t start a JP script out with a ton of action, and the author doesn’t. Honestly, I can’t even picture
this AS a story, which means it’s perfect for screenplay format. Reading this felt like watching the
storytelling part of the JP movies (that first hour where nothing really exciting happens), and while I would
rather read something with a bit more pep, I have to admit that it’s not a whole lot worse than anything
Speilberg or Joe Johnson would use to open a movie, so as a start to a screenplay, it works. Now if it stays
like this throughout, prepare for snore city, but if, true to the movies, the pace picks up and it has some
intelligent dialouge and a decent plot, it’ll work. Thing is, I don’t see the Author finishing this anytime soon,
if ever, which may keep people from reading it all together.
Script Rating: 8 out 10--- Not better or worse than the openings to the other three movies, so this is really
an average based on the films.
Chaos Theory Ch.1
by Ambrose
“It’s more like what can I do for you”
With the plethora of traditional Jp stories out now, it’s getting harder and harder to focus on one. Ambrose
raises the ante higher with his latest story. Chaos Theory, as you can guess by the title, features the ever
lovable Dr. Malcolm. It seems that Biosyn, Ingen, and new company called Xen have joined forces to
create, you guessed it, another JP park. Sounds tastey!! As you can probably guess, all sorts of stuff will go
wrong. So is it worth it to even read this one, given that there are so many others like it floating on Fics
thesedays? Before reading this chapter, I’d have said no.
However, after reading it (twice actually, cause I don’t want to make an ass of myself), I’ve come to really
like this chapter. It seemed a bit contrived (how likely is it that all three companies would join and then
suddenly wanna risk making such a big mistake), and the entire “Ingen Special Forces” speech left me with a
“I can’t believe he wrote that, snicker, snicker” smile, but once I got past that, I liked what I was reading.
The characters seemed to react well to each other, and the detail was actually quite good even though there
wasn’t much of it( more dialouge), being somewhere in between the Vader and Mr. Goodbyte range, which
is just about where you want to be. I was surprised by the effectiveness of this chapter, and I’m looking
foward to reading more of this story. What DID get on my nerves about this chapter (though I don’t know if
this was done on purpose), is that this story shifts from present of past tense so fast it’s a bit gooky. It’s like
one moment you’re listening to a narrator tell the story, the next you’re told that the clouds CRIED, like it
happened fifty years ago, when the previous sentence suggests that you’re watching the events unfold in real
time. Other than that, this gets my vote for “Fan Fic that shouldn’t be ignored”.
Hardworking Author Award goes to Ambrose= 8.0 out of 10
Biosyn’s Creation
by Carnotaur3
“Like, for example, I had a piece of meat in my hand and told them to wait for it. Then, I would tell them to
get it and they’d snatch it up, right out of my dirty wrinkled fingers. “
How can you read what’s above and not smile? I like Carnotaur3’s approach to writing. I won’t insult his
intelligence by proclaiming him to be the best author on Danspage, but by the same token, I wouldn’t even
begin to put down his “quick and to the point writing style”, as some other might be inclined to do.
Carnotaur3 reminds me a lot of a member named RaptorFood, in that both authors get right to point and tell
you what they want you to hear. If a guy’s head is supposed to get ripped off by a dinosaur, they tell you
that, instead of ‘suger’ coating it, like “He screamed as the thick talon ripped through his skull..bla..bla..bla”,
instead, it’s more like “The dinosaur Ripped his head off, it rolled three feat, the...”. Sometimes you just
need to get away from the typical stories and read something entertaining and to the point, and Carnotaur3
seems to be the guy to provide that. It’s not lol funny, but it’s not dark and humorless either. I happen to
like Carno’s style, which is why I enjoyed his last story and gave it a high rating. While I won’t rate this one
(far too short for a chapter), I will say that I see the workings of another Carno-style entertainment piece,
and if it makes me smile the way the other one did, I’m all for it.
Well, that’s it for tonight.......I’m gonna spend the next two days reading more, and hunting up new
authors...
already on my list of to-do’s is= Alan Grant’s new Nightmare by Vito Hardy---Atrue Dream JP by
Awfmial---Genesis latest chapter by Alangrant---and any others that are requested. If you don’t want me to
review your stuff anymore, just say so. Remember, this is MY opinion, is not necessarily the opinion of
others. If i missed you...sorry....I’m TIRED :P
1/15/02 4:01:26 AM
Comment on this fan fiction!
|
|
|
