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Lost in the World of Jurassic Krap part 2
By sgd goin down
Ian Malcolm was riding the 7 Train one day, next to a kid with purple hair, a teenage mother, and a queer with AIDS, when a panhandler came by asking people for money...
Malcolm: *to himself* Wow. that Rocker guy wasn't entirely wrong after all... *notices the gay guy rubbing his thigh* please stop that.
Panhandler: Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is DJ Jazzy Jeff. If some of y'all remember my name, I used to be partners with that backstabber Will Smith. Now he's making trillions of dollars off of movies and Music, while I'm stuck here asking you nobody's for money! Ain't life biatch?
Malcolm: Hey, I'm not a nobody! I'm Dr.Ian Malcolm! The world famous survivor of Jurassic Krap!
Jazzy Jeff: Psh, brotha that was 4 years ago. I was America's favorite cameo on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, back then. Nobody remembers me for sh*t now! Same with you!
Malcolm: That's not true, I'm a house hold name!
Jazzy Jeff: Oh, for real? 'EY YO! ANYBODY ON THIS TRAIN KNOW WHO IAN MALCOLM IS!?
Kid w- purple hair: Isn't he that kid with a show on Fox?
Ian Malcom: No! That's Malcolm in the Middle! I'm the guy who survived Jurassic Krap, remember?
Teenage mother: What's Jurassic Krap?
Gay guy with AIDS: Isn't that just some Urban Legend?
Malcolm: No! It's real! Geez, what's wrong with you people!? Don't you remember the events of Jurassic Krap?
Jazzy Jeff: Face it, "Dr.Malcolm" you never even got a lick of evidence to prove that balderdash. And if it happened 4 years ago, what makes you think anybody wil remember you? You're 15 minutes of fame are up. Now if you'll excuse me, I got a job to do. PEOPLE PLEASE! I HAVEN'T EATEN IN FOUR MONTHS! I NEED SOME NOURISHMENT!
Malcolm: *sit's back down* He's right my 15 minutes of fame ARE up.
Jazzy Jeff: *offscreen* 4 cents!? Lady, what the F*ck am I gonna get with 4 cents!? I can't buy a damn Tootsie Roll with 4 cents, let alone feed myself! I'm DJ Jazzy Jeff for God's sake! This is an insult!
Malcolm: I have to get back on that Island!
Gay guy: Can I come?
Malcolm: No! *to himself* But first, I'll have to pay John Hammond a little visit...
3/23/2002 10:30:41 PM
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