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Jurassic Krap 3 part 4
By sPit
Inside the plane, which is now on land...
"Alan?"
"Alan?"
Dr.Grant's eyes slowly began to open as he heard somebody repeating his name. "Sexy raptor? Is that you?" he asked weakly.
"No, it's me. Billy."
"Billy... what happened?"
"Well, Cooper the mercenary blasted your head off a little while ago. And while your mutant healing factor was regenerating it--"
"Tell me we didn't land."
"Yeah, we kinda did. But that's not the worst part."
"What's the worst part?"
"Well, while yo were headless, the mercs thought that they'd have some fun. So they stripped you naked of everything, shaved your entire body, and threw all your clothes into a bonfire. I saved your hat."
"Well now," says Alan, realizing he's buck naked "That's the important thing, isn't it."
About a minute later, Grant and Billy step out of the airplane and walk down the stairs. Dr.Grant is now fully clothed. "I tell ya Billy," he tells Billy. "It's a good thing I always keep and extra set of clothes in my hat!"
"Damn right!" resPonds his protege. They both hear Amanda Kirby call out for 2 distinct names on a Megaphone.
"ERIC!"
"BEN!"
"ERIC!"
"BEN!"
Alan and Billy go over over to a sorry looking Paul Kirby. "Dr.Grant," he starts, "you have my sincerest apologies about what happened. But I can explain, every--"
"First thing's first." interrupts the angry paleontologist. "Get your wife to knock that off. Tell her it's a bad idea."
"ERIC!"
"BEN!" she continues.
"AMANDA! HONEY?" yells Paul.
"WHAT?"
"DR.GRANT SAYS THAT THAT'S A BAD IDEA!"
"WHAT?"
"HE SAYS THAT THAT'S A BAD IDEA!"
"WHAT'S A BAD IDEA?" asks Amanda as she smears herslef in the blood of a recently slaughtered pig.
Turning his attention, Billy takes a look at Nash and Udesky playing with missile launchers. "Hey, where's Cooper?" he wonders. His query is answered by a roar from the jungle.
"RRRROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!"
"What was that?" asks Paul.
"It sounds like a zebra."
"No." corrects Grant. "It sounds fatter."
Meanwhile, the mercenaries notice something gigantic moving fast about 300ft into the jungle.
"Blow it to Hell, Nash!" says Udesky. But his companion needs no one to tell him that. Nash locks onto the target, pulls the trigger and fires!
KABOOM!
The airplane behind them all blows up.
"Uh, Nashy?" says Udesky. "THIS IS THE END IT FIRES OUT OF. REMEMBER!?"
"Ohhhhhh" says the merc realizing that he held the missile launcher backwards. "I guess we shouldn't have left all the ammo in the plane either."
"No, my friend." comments Udesky, patting him on the back. "No we shouldn't have."
Everybody but the missing Cooper regroup in front of the plane's smoldering remains. The mysterious jungle beast roared again. This time they could hear gunshots. Whatever was in the jungle was chasing the missing Mercenary.
"What are we going to do?" asks Paul "We have to get out of here!"
Later...
"Mr.Udesky?" asks Grant."Explain to me again how we're all supposed to ride off this island on a Bicycle." And Sure enough, Alan, Billy, Paul, Amanda, Nash and Udesky are all piled up on top of each other on a single girly Bicycle with an alien in the basket.
"Just leave that to my little little Alien buddy!" replied Udesky.
"Eeeeeat Meeeee, Homophobe" said the alien.
And so the bicycle slowly winded along the airstrip when suddenly, a huge sPiky, carnivorous dinosaur popped out of the jungle and stood directly in their path, frantically waving it's claws.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!" everybody screamed.
"Stop! Please! Stop!" yelled the dinosaur. "Please, you have to save me from this maniac!"
"Damn it, get out of the way, sucka." mumbled Nash as the bike winded along, moving at about 10 inches per second. "You know damn well we can't stop this thing."
"Plea-hee-hease! Sto-hah-hahp!"
Just then, simultaneously, Cooper ran out of the Jungle after the screaming, pansy dinosaur, and the bike magically started to fly.
"Hah ha ha! C'mere you you sunuvabitch! I'm havin' Bar B Q tonight, ha ha... huh?" Cooper who was so preoccupied in chasing the dinosaur that he hadn't noticed the bike flying towards him until it was too late.
With one swift bite, ET gobbled the merc up. As they flew off, the dinosaur jumped up and down yelling, "Please! Take me with you!" but they didn't come back.
2 B continued...
1/6/02 1:57:10 AM
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