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Jurassic Krap 3 part 1
By sPit
A plane flies across the sky. Attached to it is a banner saying "EAT AT FELIX'S HOUSE OF SpICES". In the reflective lenses of Enrique Iglesias' binoculars, however, it appears to say "EAT AT FE CES". But Enrique doesn't seem to notice. he turns to Ben and informs him that "The coast is clear, jefe."
"Good looking out, Enrique. Now take us up." replies Ben Hildebrand, who is tethered to 6-year old Eric Kirby. The two are on vacation in Costa Rica, and Ben thought it'd fun to go parasailing around the islands.
"Sure thing, amigo." Enrique Iglesias happens to to be their Celebrity Parasail instructor. "I will take you up on the...
PARASAAAAAAAIIIIIIILLLL,
LET THE UPDRAFT TAKE YOU OVER,
PARASAAAAAAAIIIIIILLLLL!
YO QUIERO,
BELL DE TACO!
PARASAAAAAAAIIIIIILLLLL..."
"HEY! GLAZYASS!" yells Ben, "Less singing, more sailing!"
Ben opens up the parasail shaped like a hairy human ass which unfurls and takes the two tourists flying. "WOW, BEN! THIS IS FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!" yells little Eric.
"Damn strait, kid! I told you these Erotic Parasails were fun! HEY! ENRIQUE! TAKE US COSER TO THAT HARMLESS LOOKING ISLAND THAT THE COSTA RICAN GOVERNMENT BANNED TOURISM FROM DUE TO THE FACT THAT IT'S INFESTED WITH HORRIBLY DEADLY DINOSAURS!"
Enrique resPonds, once again, in song. "I CAN TAKE YOU NEARER, BABY!
TO ISLA S-O-R-N-A..."
"Ah, Cripes, he's singing again..." Ben mutters. Meanwhile Eric starts to notice the inappropriate position that the parasail harness is holding him and Ben in.
"This doesn't look or feel right..." the boy says to himself. Meanwhile, Enrique continues singing. The boat he's driving
moves into some heavy fog.
"THE VIEW
WILL
TAKE
YOUR BREATH AWAY...
I CAN--AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!"
As Enrique screams, the boat and parasail shake vigorously. Something terrible is happening to Enrique. AND Eric! "WHOA! BEN! KNOCK IT OFF BACK THERE! DON'T MAKE ME CALL SOCIAL SERVICES!"
"I'M NOT DOING THAT! I SWEAR!"
Hurdling out of the fog, the boat (minus one poor Enrique) is battered and ripped up with the phrase "RICKY WAZ HERE!" written in red letters on the hull.
"He's Gone!" yells Ben.
"And now that he's gone..." adds a sad Eric, "I just wanna be with him."
Ben sPots something up ahead. "Don't look now, boy, but we're about to crash!
"You mean into those completely isolated, jagged rocks that are inconveniently sticking out of the water directly in the path of our unstoppable boat?"
"No, I mean into this dang bluescreen ILM keeps dangling us in front of!" Ben pounds his fist into the bluescreen and pretty much ruins the already cheap effects shot.
"Stick to the script, Jackass!" yells an offscreen voice.
"Yeah, yeah," mutters Ben. "Into those rocks. Listen, Eric, we have to get this rope to come off. Take off your pants, boy."
"But Ben, I can just unlatch the rope right here. There's no need for me to take off my--"
BOOOOM!!! While they were all talking, the boat finally crashed into the rocks and burst into a huge, fiery explosion. The parasail was burnt up, and Ben, Eric and Wobuffet were sent flying to the island of usPeakable horrors.
"WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNN!!!"
"WOBBA WOBBA!
*Ping*
1/5/02 12:53:06 AM
(Updated: 1/5/02 12:54:03 AM)
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