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The College Years (Chapter 15)
By Vader
THE COLLEGE YEARS
Entry II: A Student Who Loved Me
Continued from Chapter 14 . . .
CHAPTER 15
She glided across the floor like an angel, her soft golden hair rippling downward, her body moving in a sensual fashion as she grew ever nearer, and I found myself unable to take my eyes of her. I felt guilty about it, as if I was divulging in some pleasure that I was forbidden to experience, but was unable to keep from partaking of it. Erin arrived at the table I’d chosen for us in the cafeteria with two cheeseburgers on a tray, noticing my mesmerized stare and shining a lop-sided smile. “What is it?” she queried, yet probably knowing full well what it was.
“Uh . . . nice outfit,” I said as a quick cover-up. The young woman gave one of her small laughs, sitting my burger down for me.
“There you go – you deserve it,” she commended, taking her place opposite of my seat, tossing her long, glossy hair behind her shoulders before leaning down to take a bite of her own meal. “So, Jack, what are you majoring in?” she entreated.
“Graphic design. What about you?” I replied, feeling my heart beating rapidly and adrenaline rushing through my body as I carried my conversation with her. This was the first time I’d been in such a scenario with a female besides Rachel, producing an aspect of anxiety.
“I haven’t decided yet. I don’t really need to know right now, either, since I’m just taking the basic classes right now,” she informed me. “Did you decide your major before you started?”
“I’ve, um, been into art since I was a kid. Even over the summer I’ve been designing some logos on my computer,” I disjointedly replied.
“Really? That’s pretty cool. I’d like to see one some time,” the beauty requested with a gleam in her eye. “How old did you say were again?” Erin asked, taking a sip of her water bottle.
“Oh I’m . . . ah, twenty-six,” I lied, having not dared to give out my true age to anyone at Mesa all semester long, for fear of being treated differently.
“Only a year younger than me, huh? What have you been doing all this time since you graduated?”
“Just, you know, ah . . . hanging out, taking a break. I’ve been working at, uh, Borders bookstore . . .” I gave further false information to veil my actual job of washing cars and mowing lawns. A strange expression came over her. She sensed my awkwardness, and I knew it.
“You seem a little nervous,” she partially smirked. My heart pounded faster and harder as it felt the pressure of being put on the spot. I stared at her, frantically trying to cook up some sort of excuse. Undeterred, she reached out and touched my hand. “What is it?” The moment her delicate fingertips contacted mine, I was refreshed, as if a cool, calming force trickled throughout my body.
“I’m sorry,” I told her genuinely. “I know I’ve been acting strange . . . I know I acted strange last night. It’s just . . . I’ve been going through a lot lately.” While I couldn’t comprehend how I’d actually gotten the words out of my mouth, I couldn’t deny that I felt relieved, like a portion of weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
“I understand. So have I,” she assured me. “Do you have many friends here at Mesa?” I bowed my head slowly, shaking it.
“The only friend I thought I had has kept making me feel worse about my life, when I already was having a hard time coping with it,” I told her, a scowl on brink of appearing on my face. “It’s been . . . so hard . . . because all this change has been happening at once and . . .”
“I know what it feels like. It’s not very easy,” Erin related, her face contorting to become serious and almost sorrowful, signifying her own similar emotions. She moved her hand to stroke my own with a tranquil, soothing, grace that had the potential to comfort me. But I wouldn’t let it, I couldn’t let it, for it only reminded me of how Rachel was never there for me anymore.
“I can’t talk about this right now,” I told her in a soft tone. She just smiled, pulling her hand back in acceptance.
“That’s alright.” We both paused, looking downward, to allow a moment to clear the palate of emotion. Once we’d returned to eating our meals, Erin remembered something. “Oh, did you hear about the Winter Dance next week? They’re having it in that new conference room in the library” she asked, making an effort to sound conversational.
“That sounds fun,” I nodded, resulting in her apparent delight. Before I could have another second with her, I regarded the clock on the wall, shocked at how quick the time went by. The remembrance of Josh’s barbeque returned, and it was clear I would have to get going right away if I were to make it on time.
“Jeez, time flies,” I began, getting up from my seat to quickly wrap it up. “I have an appointment in an hour, so I need to go get ready. But thanks for lunch, Erin, I really appreciate it.”
“I enjoyed it,” she replied, beaming so brightly I felt like taking my seat once more. “If you ever want to . . . do this again, Jack, let me know.” She waved goodbye, having made me feel the best I’d ever been since September. Months of stress and worry had constantly been grating on me, toiling and loading me down with pain. And to have even a short break from that, and admit it to someone who could relate, made me feel surprisingly better. I knew deep down that we certainly had a connection. And whereas before, I had been incredibly afraid of that, for whatever reason, I naturally felt a bit more open to it after our lunch.
But that didn’t mean the girl who’d been haunting me for as long I could remember no longer had a presence in my mind. I had resolved to ask her to go steady with me earlier, and I yearned for it to occur today. Though I only had a short time for preparation, I quickly made a plan for how to carry out my proposal and rushed away.
(More to come)
1/15/2003 11:35:40 PM
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