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    #131
    Jurassic Park inspired now-retired cartoonist Gary Larson, the mind behind the popular "The Far Side" comics, to create a cartoon of several dinosaurs parking cars in a lot. The caption? "Jurassic Parking" (From: 'Dilophosaurus')
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    Leatherface vs. Michael Myers Part 2
    By Thomas Hewitt

    Kelly stood in the bathroom, facing the mirror. The joint was almost gone and She was ready to find some hot guy. She grabbed the handle of the door as someone knocked on the window. She was high, so everything was alright. She went to the window, threw it open and stuck her head out the window.
    “Hello? Any guys out here?” she said, busting into laughter.
    That was the last thing she remembered before a hand gripped her brown hair and the feeling of a long blade cutting into her neck.
    The killer looked into her eyes. Empty, lifeless, bottomless. She was dead. He pulled her body out of the window and hid it behind a bush. He climbed in through the window and into the house.
    Joshua Mortensen was drunk. He was sloppy drunk. He didn’t have a care in the world. Nothing would bother him. He made his way from the busy living room and into the docile kitchen. No one has passed out yet, it was only nine o’clock. He stood at a keg and poured himself a cup of beer. He chugged it quickly and began to pour another one. He turned to return to the living room when he knocked into someone, spilling his beer all over himself.
    “Fuck, dude! I got my beer on my shirt!” Joshua looked up at the person after shaking the beer off his hands. The man was wearing a blue jump suit and a white mask.
    “Wow, dude. Cool costume. You want beer?” he asked.
    The man raised a knife into the air.
    “Oh, shit, man. Uh, don’t!” That was when the man sunk the blade into Joshua’s Shoulder. He made a few grunts and gasps before the man pulled the blade out and Joshua hit the floor. The man looked over. No one noticed. He stared into the party, eyeing everyone. He finally saw what he was looking for. Sherry Myers.
    Sherry was tired of dancing with Dan. His moves were old and it was boring.
    Over the sound of the music, she yelled, “I’m going to the bathroom.”
    She turned to leave as Cameron Popplestone stopped her in her tracks.
    “Cameron, get out of my way,” She said.
    “No, want to dance?” he asked.
    “No, I need to use the bathroom, now would you please move?” She asked him again.
    “Okay, I get it. You don’t want to dance, because Dan is here. I’m cool with that. But I would like to know why your with him,” he said.
    “Cameron, I’m not going through this with you again. Now please move,” she said, placing her arms on his shoulders getting ready to shove him out of the way.
    “Fine,” Cameron moved on his own.
    As he moved, an image burned into her mind. A man brandishing a knife, wearing a dark blue jump suit and a white mask. Her eyes grew wide. Her cousin Michael Myers was back. She felt the blood rush to her feet as the man slowly began to walk toward her. She slowly walked back in front of Cameron.
    “What, you want to dance?” Cameron asked with a smile.
    The smile quickly turned to a face of pain as blood began to come from his mouth. She screamed. The scream quickly got people attention. Everyone saw what had happened: A man had stabbed Cameron Popplestone in the back. The load music was over come by the screaming of the other women. The only thing people wanted to do was get out of the party.

    Leatherface drove down the quiet street in Haddonfield. He looked for a house that had no lights on and no inhabitants. He could hear load music down the road. Soon after that, a crowd of people began running out of a house down the street. They were tripping over each other in a panic. He drove down the street, wanting to see what the commotion was about.

    Dan was gone. Michael couldn’t be seen and she preferred to hide under Cameron’s dead body. She was trying to hold in her crying. Everyone had left the house. Hopefully someone called the police. She couldn’t see anyone. That was when someone pulled Cameron’s body off of her. She creamed. It was Jeff Long, a friend from school. She was happy to see him. He helped her up off the floor, and she braced him in her arms, hoping he was going to protect her.

    Leatherface stared out the window of his truck. He had seen the girl before, a long time ago. But she got away. She was the radio D.J. And she was with another man. Leatherface was full of rage. He let out a loud yell and grabbed his chainsaw. He walked up the sidewalk to the house. He was about to the front door when someone jumped him. Leatherface’s attacker was Dan. Dan tackled him to the ground and landed a few punches before Leatherface could tell what was going on. He threw a punch as hard as he could, knocking Dan to the ground. Leatherface got to his feet grabbed the chainsaw and rip-started it. Dan’s eyes grew wide as the chainsaw was being brought down upon him.

    Robert smith was struggling with his keys when he saw his friend Dan on the ground. He watched as his friend was killed with a chainsaw.
    “Dan!” Robert ran over across the street. He threw his arm back as he ran towards Dan’s killer.
    Robert didn’t get very far before the killer swung the chainsaw around, cutting his stomach open. Robert fell back. A rush of cold before his life lifted from him.

    Jeff and Sherry were running now, through the back yards of other houses.

    Leatherface came in into the house. No one was there. He made his way through the living room and saw that the back door was open. She was gone. But that man couldn’t have her. He pursued after them.

    In the beam of light by a back porch light, the two stood to catch their breath.
    “What was going on in there?” Jeff asked.
    “I don’t know,” she lied.
    “We have to get to the police station. I don’t know if anyone called them or not,” Jeff said.
    Sherry was about to cry. “Was that Dan’s screams we heard?”
    Jeff looked into Sherry’s eyes. They were terrified.
    “Sherry, I hope not. No one deserves to die like that,” Jeff said.
    Sherry embraced Jeff in her arms again, looking for him to hug her back and protect her. Sherry could hear the low hum of a motor. He was coming. Coming to kill her. Jeff would protect her, though.
    Jeff didn’t know what was going on. He couldn’t just stand here and hug her, he needed to get out of Haddonfield. He let go of her.
    “We need to get out of here, Sherry,” he told her.
    She nodded.
    Jeff turned to run again before something caught him. He looked over. In the background, he could hear Sherry screaming. The killer had caught him. Jeff was dieing, fast. He couldn’t do anything. All the stories about your life flashing before your eyes were false. You just die.
    Michael let Jeff’s body hit the ground, and Sherry was frozen in fear. She couldn’t move, her muscles locked up and she couldn’t move. Fear had taken control of her. She no longer screamed. He bulging eyes were all that showed emotion. She could feel the footsteps of her cousin closing in on her. She could hear Michaels arm move through the air, bring the blade high into the air and bring it down. She couldn’t feel the first few stabs, but she knew it was over.

    Leatherface stood in rage. Someone had killed her. No! It was out of his control now, he couldn’t stop it, he needed to kill the man who killed his one love. Leatherface rip-started his chainsaw and began marching toward the killer.

    Michael Myers was free. The curse was lifted. Michael felt different, like a real person. He dropped the knife on the ground. He looked around and seen what had happened. Two dead bodies. He didn’t know how he got there. He realized he was wearing a mask. He tore it off. He was walking in circles. He was in panic. Not knowing what to do, he just stood there.
    Michael jumped as he heard the revving of an engine. He turned to see a large man running at him. He dropped to the ground. The man stopped in front of Michael.
    “Please, don’t kill me, Please!” Michael yelled. He held his hands in the air, in a failed attempt to protect himself.

    Leatherface looked down. The man was waving his arms in the air. And for what? Mercy! No. He will not get any mercy. Leatherface revved the chainsaw and brought it across the man’s waving hands. The two bloody hands hit the ground. The man was screaming now, and he had heard enough. In a chopping motion, he killed the man who killed his lover. Blood had sprayed on Leatherface’s clothing. The man was a bloody mess. Body part laid everywhere. Leatherface had dismembered him. He killed the engine. In the distance, he could hear the sounds of a police car. Leatherface needed to get away. He ran off into the dark of the night, feeling the triumph of revenge.


    8/28/2004 7:04:11 PM

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