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Celebrity Death Match
By Scorpion
"Hello folks I'm Jonny Gomez!"
"And I'm Nick Diomand"
"Welcome to Celebrity Death Match!" Jonny announces
"We have a great show ahead Jonny!" Nick says
"Yes we do Nick… We have …
Sarah Michelle Geller vs Kristy Swanson
Keven Spacey vs Allen Covert
Will Farrell vs Andy Kaufman " Jonny says aloud
"This fist match is Buffy vs Buffy! Sarah Michelle Geller, TV Series Buffy and Kristy Swanson, Movie Buffy have been dishing out fights before they came onto this show. Lets take a look at the tape.!" Nick Diomand says
-Buffy and Buffy-
"You took my show you igneramus!" Kristy slaps Sarah Michelle Geller
"It's my show now woman!" Sarach Michelle Geller flips over Krist and then breaks her arm "My turn to be the slayer!" Sarah kicks Kristy and leaves
-Celebrity Death Match-
Referee Mills Lane gets between the two and says 'Lets get it on!' Sarah Michelle Geller pulls out her stake and chases Kristy Swanson around the ring. The Crowd chant 'Buffy'.
"No! My Hair! Leave me alone you super-bitch!" Kristy kicks Sarah Michelle Geller in the stomach and runs to the corner post.
Sarah Michelle Geller gets up and start to kick Kristy against the post, suddenly Kristy slaps Sarah Michelle Geller, and then pulls out a shovel. Sarah gets knocked over the ropes and into the audience by the swinging of the shovel, but suddenly James Marsters shows up and bites the neck of Kristy Swanson. When Sarah Michelle Geller gets back into the ring, Kristy's face turns into the Vampire face.
"No problem!" Sarah Michelle Geller jumps above Kristy and whips the stake into Kristy Swanson's heart, and she turns to dust "I win…" Sarah Michelle Geller holds up the stake
"That Sarah Michelle Geller is great! Right Nick? Nick… Where did he go now!!!" Jonny looks everywhere in the booth
-Keven Spacey's dressing room-
Nick Diamond scratches his head, wondering where Kevin Spacey went. Kevin Spacey shows up behind Nick and walks into his room.
"You're here to interview me Nick… Am I not right?" Kevin looks at Nick with his black sunglasses on
"Yes… Um Kevi-" Nick Diamond gets interrupted by Kevin Spacey
"My name is not Kevin Spacey… He could not make it here… So I'm filling in for him. My name is Prott." Kevin walks by Nick diamond
"Uh… Ok um. 'Praw T' How-"
"PROTE"
"Ok… 'PROTE' What do you think will happen tonight?" Nick backs away from the psychotic
"I'm going to win." Kevin Spacey walks away
-Celebrity Death Match-
"Well folks, looks like it's just going to be me up here until Nick comes back. Here comes Allen Covert… one of the stars of Little Nicky. He complains that Kevin Spacey always takes his roles… and Here comes Kevin Spacey… The odd alien man Prott!" Jonny introduces
"DAMN YOU KEVIN SPACEY!!! YOU TAKE ALL MY PARTS!!!!!" Allen Covert runs after Kevin Spacey, but is quickly punched out
"I want a good clean fight! NOW LETS GET IT ON!!!" Mills Lane picks up Allen covert and pushes him away from Kevin Spacey.
Kevin Spacey appears behind Allen Covert and breaks his leg. Then kicks him in the face and returns back to his corner before anyone can notice he was missing from the corner.
"Woah folks! Looks like Kevin Spacey just moved in takeon speeds!!!" Jonny looks flabbergasted
"Ow… That hurt! You hurt me! Can I cry on your shoulder?" Allen Covert limbs to Kevin Spacey and then punches him in the stomach
"No." Kevin twists Allen Coverts neck and takes off his glasses "Wow… this place is really low-lighted…"
"WOAH!!! KEVIN SPACEY JUST BEAT ALLEN COVERT IN RECORD TIMES!!!" Jonny yells excitingly "Wait a minute! There seems to be a fight breaking loose in the audience… Holy Crap! It's Dan Finklestien from Dan's Jp3 Page and Antiganondworf from Cheat Planet!" Jonny looks closer to the left side of the audience
"I'm going to take you out! You money greeding moron!" Dan punches out Anti-G
"Screw you fatty!!!!" Anti-G pushes Dan onto a seat and then bitch slaps him ten times
"NEXT WEEK!!! I'LL SEE YOU IN THE RING!!!" Dan pushes down Anti-G and kicks him in the nuts
"Well folks… Hey! I just got word that Andy Kaufman has arrived from the time machine!" Jonny holds his headphones
-Backstage-
Stone Cold Steve Austin opens the time machine door and Andy Kaufman walks out. Andy, in his wrestling costume, pushes Austin out of the way and heads for the ring.
"Looks like Andy is ready and Will Farrell is already in the ring. Welcome to SATURDAY NIGHT DEATH MATCH!!" Jonny yells, suddenly Nick Diamond joins him
"Don't worry Jonny! I wouldn't miss this fight for porno!" Nick Diamond hides his magazine and watches the fight
"I want a good clean fight and no funny buisness! Lets get it on!" Mills Lanes says and backs up
"You think you're all that huh Kaufman! Well let me tell you something Mr.Kaufman! I'm the new Saturday Night Live actor! And I star in GOOD movies!" Will Farrell pokes Andy Kaufman
"Oh yeah! I'm the king of negative energy and I'm the king of comedy! I'M ANDY KAUFMAN!!!" Andy Kaufman yells
Andy Kaufman kicks Will Farrell in the nuts and then DDT's him. Kaufman starts to kick Will Farrell, suddenly Will Farrell trips Kaufman and starts to whip him around the ring with leather fur clothing from the movie Zoolander. Will Farrell throws Andy into the left-corner post and starts jams the fur between Kaufman's nostrils and pulls on it hard. The nose rips off, but it reveals to be a fake nose, as Kaufman still has one.
"I'm the brains! I'm from hollywood!" Andy trots around the ring pointing to his head and taunting Will Farrell untill Will slaps Andy across the face and Andy jumps out of the ring
"I'm gonna sue you Will !!! I am a 70's national TV STAR!!! I'm GONNA SUE YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU'RE WORTH!!!" Andy yells at Will from out side the ring
"KAUFMAN!!!! KAUFMAN!!! OVER HERE YOU NINNY!!!" Jerry The King Lawler walks down the ramp and to the corner where Kaufman is standing " DID YOU COME HERE TO WRESTLE, OR ACT LIKE AN ASS!!!" Jerry pulls up his fist and Kaufman rolls into the ring
"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE!!!!!" Kaufman bends over to the ropes and yells at Lawler
"I'M HERE TO BACK THE MILLENIUM UP TV ACTORS!!! NOT COWARDS LIKE YOU!!!" Lawler gets up on the side railer and slaps Kaufman
Kaufman falls back and then flips into the air and falls on his face. Will Farrell picks up Andy and punches him. Kaufman pulls out his intergender wrestling belt and hits Will Farrell over the head with it and then steps on Will's stomach and Will Farrell's leg pop off, then his arms and then his head.
"I'm the king, I'm the king, I'm the king of everything!" Kaufman struts around the ring and does his taunting dance
Jerry Lawler chases Kaufman backstage.
"Well that's all for tonight folks…" Nick Diamond makes a thumb up
"Good Night, Good Fight!
-End-
6/16/2002 11:27:40 AM
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