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The Dog and the Wolf
By MuldoonLives15
The Dog and the Wolf
Shawn McGill was at the end of his line. He was 28 years old and 160 pounds give or take. He hadn’t been on a scale in a long time. Shawn had lived a glamorous lifestyle on the fast track in his younger years, but like so many before could not control himself. So he lost his scholarship to Oklahoma, broke off contact with his parental guardians for good after two memorably long yeas in rehab, and had lost every true friend and love he had ever had. Life threw just about everything it could at Shawn McGill and he knew it, he thought about it everyday. And today was just like any other he thought to himself as he walked up the sidewalk into a brisk autumn breeze towards the Corner Pantry to buy something to eat with the little pocket change he had left.
It so happens that at that very moment he bumped into a well dressed man who looked to be about Shawn’s age. The man wore an expensive black suit and had his hair cut in a way a businessman would. Shawn began to think to himself that the man looked oddly familiar when-
“Ah cousin,” said the man, “I told you how it would be, I told you how it would end.”
Shawn immediately recognized the man as his first cousin, Glen McGill. In their not so distant past Glen decided to go about things a little differently than Shawn. In high school, they were best of friends. The girls, the parties, the whole lifestyle appealed to them both at first. At they took to it as naturally as the stream flows downhill. And that’s where it began to lead; downhill. Glen realized this of course and by his second semester at Oklahoma he traded the women, beer and weed for books, tests, and law degrees. It was hard at first Glen later admitted to himself, but only after he had devoted time to other things, more constructive activities that Glen began to grow into a responsible adult. In retrospect, Glen saw it as a metamorphosis of his being though Shawn often scoffed at that idea, adding that Glen “forgets where he comes from” and “doesn’t know how to have a good time”. Glen was used to comments like that now.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Shawn asked trying to be cheerful with an attempt at a smile on his face.
“Walking back from my lunch break, I didn’t know it had gotten this bad,” Glen replied.
The two walking side by side down the side walk made for a peculiar site. Glen, on the left walking upright with excellent posture and an Armani suit and Shawn, in khaki pants that haven’t been washed in days and a t-shirt with a huge smiley face on it that was as equally dirty as his pants.
“Yea, well you know shit happens. There’s not much else I can say about things you can’t do anything about. I can’t change the past. I can’t change all the time I’ve wasted, and drank and smoked and fucked away! I can’t change all those nights I lied there on the couch thinking, knowing that what I was doing was stupid, and wrong. That, if only I would take the time to come down from my high and explore the world around me opportunities that- I blew so many opportunities!” Shawn was yelling now.
“Literally,” Glen added.
Shawn shot Glen a hateful, spiteful look and Glen merely glanced to his side.
“Congratulations, you pissed your life away,” Glen remarked.
“You know, Shawn” Glen began, “I got to wonder, why you don’t work and get a job and a legal residency for yourself. Maybe find a woman. Make something of your life Shawn before it’s too late. Why has it always been so hard for you to take the advice of others? To believe people when they tell you that something will hurt you. Accept that in this life you get nothing for nothing and you never get something for nothing. Accept it and grow, get a job.”
Glen actually winded himself as he finished. He wasn’t planning on any speeches but that flew out of him, uncontrollable lack of control he told himself.
“I would have no problem doing that if I had a place to stay! You know a place to sleep at night?! You stand there, on your high horse preaching the value of a hard days work. Well, I’m going to knock you down a peg or two and let you in on a little secret. I got shit luck! Life threw me some punches man and I’m lucky to have made it out alive. I count my blessings!” Exclaimed Shawn, he was getting aggravated
Excitement rushed into Glen like the morning sun waking him up for a nice day at work. Shawn had never said anything like this. Glen made be able to help-
“That is no problem at all!” Glen was genuinely excited, “you’ll come and stay with me and my wife, just until you get your feet. And I even have a job for you! Its small, but it’s a start and that’s the important thing. It’s a desk job, a few ranks above the runners so that’s a plus!”
Shawn didn’t know what to say. It was like he was offered a chance to have a life. Secretly, this was what Shawn had wanted always. He wanted to have a stable, if not simple life.
“Ok.”
So they began walking back towards Glens apartment building.
“We have a guest room, you can sleep in there,” he said.
“Ok, well God knows when I’ll be in but ok,” Shawn said glancing for his cousins reaction.
“No. There won’t be any of that. Shawn if you live with us there are rules. We have a small child; you cannot come in drunk at any hour of the night. And there can be no drug use whatsoever,” Glen was serious. Shawn could tell.
“At least not at the house,” Glen added frowning.
Shawn began to slow as they approached the car.
“Looks like that ring on your finger has made quite the impression.”
“Well,” Glen replied “It doesn’t just represent our marriage it represents a promise I made to protect and provide for our family. From whatever may present harm.”
“Even a down on his luck cousin?”
“Yes, even a down on his luck cousin.”
They both stood there in an awkward silence.
Glen pulled out a cigarette, and gave one to Shawn.
“You know what it’s not that bad. You get into a routine Shawn. I wake up, I got to work. I put up with bullshit so I can provide for my family who mean more to me than the world. You don’t know, you don’t know how it feels to have that kind of responsibility.”
Shawn thought of what to say. “I guess not. I mean, you’ve got the ball and chain thing going on that’s how I see it..”
“Shawn it’s more than that.”
“Not to me.”
They stood there, Glen took a long drag from his cigarette. He was calm.
“You get used to it Shawn, just like anything else.”
Shawn stood there, in his mind this was a pivotal point in his life. His cousin was giving him the genuine opportunity to start a truly new life. Hell, he could work his way up and have a decent paying job in 5 years if he put half the effort in. But still something held him back. The thought of abiding by a schedule for the rest of his life depressed him. Not to mention his cousins persistent rant about giving up the drugs and alcohol. He didn’t know if he was ready for that. Shit, he didn’t know if he’d ever be ready for that and if that meant he was doomed, then he’ll be damned.
“Come on Shawn, haven’t you done enough? Haven’t you had enough freedom?”
Damn Glen sure was a talker. Maybe that’s why he had done so well. Shawn was a talker, when he was young. He’d grown more introverted now. Less likely to talk.
“Is that all?” Shawn said in a matter of fact tone.
“Yes, I suppose,” Glen replied, awaiting Shawn’s next move with anticipation.
“Then goodbye to you dear cousin, enjoy your life at the end of your chain. You may love and you may sacrifice for your family, but ultimately you sacrificed your freedom. Like a wolf that leaves the pack to be taken in as the family pet, you are no longer a wolf but a dog. I’d rather be a starving wolf than a fat family pet.”
And with that Shawn flicked his cigarette into a trashcan and walked away, with the limp he always walked with.
“You’ll never understand Shawn, what it takes to be a man.” Glen said to himself.
“Too busy being free.”
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1/8/2009 9:52:41 PM
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