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The Hunt for the Black Widow C05
By Mr.Camel
The Hunt for the Black Widow
Chapter 5: Rebellion of the Tourists
Black Widow
Captain Darial Longsword stood in his room, reading over SpinoMonkey’s battle report. He had been there, so it wasn’t really new information.
There was a knocking on the door.
“Who be there?” Longsword asked.
“Captain, dinner is ready,” Kevy Mac answered.
Longsword laid the paper on the desk and left his room.
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Warrior
CeratosPit walked into the cafeteria of the Cuban warship. It smelled of garbage, vomit, and elephant farts. CeratosPit tried his hardest to ignore the smell. He had to go in, though. He had no choice. He needed to get some important information to General Carna.
He walked around, looking for the General. He looked to his left to see one of the cooks coming towards him. She looked like a crazy old lady.
“Hello there, cutie! I’m Porcupine125, but you can call me P125! I cooked some nice, fresh onion rings, just for you!” the lady said, holding a plate of onion rings.
“No thank you,” CeratosPit replied, looking disgusted.
“Oh, come on! They’re onion rings!” P125 said. “Here, try one!”
“That’s quite alright,” CeratosPit said. “I dislike onions.”
P125 began waving the onion ring in front of CeratosPit’s mouth.
“Here’s the airplane! Open up for the airplane!” P125 said.
“No, I don’t—“
When CeratosPit opened his mouth to speak, P125 happily shoved the onion ring into his mouth.
“AHHAHGHAHGHAGHHGAGHAHGH!” CeratosPit screamed.
“Did you like it?” P125 asked.
CeratosPit was now choking, and his face was turning red.
“Did you like it?” P125 repeated.
CeratosPit fell to the ground. He was now writhing on the floor, foamy saliva seeping from his mouth.
“Oh, that’s good! Do you want another?” P125 asked.
CeratosPit’s eyes abruptly popped out of his skull. He continued to writhe across the floor. His face was now covered with the saliva that had been frothing out of his mouth.
“Are you ok?” P125 asked, beginning to get worried.
CeratosPit suddenly went motionless. P125 reached for a broom that was on the wall, and began poking CeratosPit in the stomach with the handle. He didn’t move.
“Never knew onion rings could make you fall asleep…” P125 said.
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Beautiful Dandelion
Martin Randle and Dr. JPJunkee ran up to the helm, where Captain Fishsticks stood, controlling the boat. He seemed to be half asleep.
“Captain, get us back to the US before we kill you,” Junkee ordered.
Captain Fishsticks stood there, snoring.
Junkee raised the M16 automatic rifle and fired three round into the Captains butt. A large poof of gas escaped from him before he fell to the ground, dead.
“Martin, do you know how to control this thing?” Junkee asked.
“Um… I can try,” Martin offered.
“Go ahead,” Junkee said. “I’ll cover you, just in case they come up.”
“Aye, you do that, Doc,” Martin nodded.
There was a moment of silence. Junkee looked out over the deck. He pulled his head back, and just seconds later a stream of bullets came whizzing by.
“That was a close one,” Junkee noted.
“Be careful over there! If you die, I have no one to protect me,” Randle said.
“I will,” Junkee assured him.
Junkee picked up a walkie-talkie. He turned it on; it was set to channel 5. There was no one talking on it. He changed to channel 6. That channel, too, was silent. He pushed the button one more time, bringing him to channel 7. He heard the soldiers talking and giving orders to each other.
“Majestic, you almost hit him! Good work!”
“Thanks, StuntDriver.”
“Men, listen up. Dino Dude and Nick, go to the front of the boat. HockeyDude and StuntDriver, rear. Majestic and I will try to get all the way up and capture them. Raptor Dude, you get the women and the owners of the boat. Guard them.” This was from Aragorn.
The men all acknowledged the command. Junkee looked out towards the front of the boat. Two of the marines walked into their designated position. One carried an M-60 machine gun. The other held an M16.
Junkee then looked out to the back. Another two marines stood there, waiting for further instructions. Both carried M16s.
Boom! Junkee turned his head just in time to escape the 9mm bullet that would have pierced his skull. A marine stood at the ladder. He seemed to believe he had hit Junkee, and was now aiming his Beretta pistol at Martin Randle. Junkee quickly raised his M16 and opened fire on the marine. One bullet hit the marine in the stomach. He immediately collapsed.
The marine fell off of the ladder, and hit the wooden deck twenty feet below.
“SPLINTERS!” the marine screamed.
“Open fire on the doctor!” Aragorn ordered.
Junkee and Martin jumped to the ground, avoiding a spray of bullets that flew over them.
“We can no longer hit them, they are hiding on the floor. We must come up after them!” Aragorn said.
The marines charged towards the ladder that would lead them to their enemies.
“We must find a way out of here,” Junkee whispered.
“No, really? Never would have guessed,” Martin said sarcastically.
“Shut up and help me think of a way of escaping,” Junkee said.
Martin looked around the floor for something that they could use. A hammer, no… screwdriver, no… THERE! Martin suddenly thought of a brilliant plan.
“Ah ha!” Martin said triumphantly.
“What?” Junkee said.
Martin stood and grabbed the body of Captain Fishsticks. He threw it down the ladder, knocking all of the marines off of it. He then grabbed a crowbar and a roll of duct tape that were lying in the corner. He then used the crowbar to create a hole in the floor. Martin jumped down, motioning for Junkee to follow. Once Junkee was down, Martin duct taped the hole in the ceiling. This was the marines couldn’t simply jump down after them.
They now stood in a dark room. Although it was hard to see, Martin noticed shelves lining the walls. There seemed to be no way out… But then Martin noticed some wood that was nailed into the wall. He pried the wood from the wall, revealing a small tunnel. It was just three feet high, so they’d have to crawl. Martin started in, when suddenly he heard Junkee.
“Ah ha! A flashlight, Martin!” Junkee said triumphantly. He looked around the room, but Martin was nowhere to be found. “Martin…?”
“On the floor!”
Junkee looked down to see Martin’s legs sticking out of the wall.
“Ah! Martin, the wall is eating you! And you’re still alive!” Junkee said worriedly.
“No, I’m—“
“Martin, I think the wall is cannibalistic!”
“Are you saying I am a wall?” Martin asked.
“Uh… maybe… who wants to know?” Junkee said suspiciously.
“Just give me the flashlight, Junkee,” Martin sighed.
“No! My flashlight!” Junkee said.
“Fine, I’ll continue on without you,” Martin said.
“Go ahead, see if I care!” Junkee hissed.
Junkee watched as Martin’s legs disappeared into the wall.
“Aahhhhhhggggggggg!” Martin screamed, several minutes later. It echoed through room Junkee was standing in, sending a chill down his spine.
“Martin? Are you ok?” Junkee asked.
There was no answer.
Junkee turned the flashlight on and cautiously began crawling into the hole.
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Black Widow
Captain Darial Longsword arrived in the lunchroom, with a packet of papers in his hand. He walked up to a podium, which stood at one end of the cafeteria. He set the papers on the podium, and began to read from them:
“Yar, mates! We narrowly missed losing our buoyancy yesterday! Good work keeping the ole Black Widow afloat.”
The men in the cafeteria cheered.
“Mates! At night I have smelled smelly smells recently! Needless to say, they were not good smells. I believe these smells contain… secrets! The smells have spoken to me, and they have told me that bad things are coming, mates!”
Many of the men in the room stared, confused by their Captain’s words. Somehow Hunter was able to make sense of it, and began cheering. The rest of the men followed Hunter’s lead.
“Mates! More specifically, the smells have told me that the Cuban government wants us! Aye, apparently I killed a kinsman of one of the higher-up guys. Yar, and now they want us all dead, they want us gone, lads!”
“Mates! We will fight them if they come again! We will not retreat if we are encountered, mates! WE WILL FIGHT!”
The men shouted in agreement. The room shook with the vibration of the noise. Longsword waited for them to calm down before continuing.
“Mates! I would especially like to recognize, for their efforts in the battle, PFC Gentry, Hunter, Kevy Mac, and Spino… Monkey? Spino, are you alright, lad?” Longsword asked worriedly.
Everyone in the room looked at SpinoMonkey, who was somehow fading. He faded away right in front of their eyes. He suddenly flashed back, but then disappeared again.
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The Boat at the Boat Rental Place
“So, Captain, what is this ship called?” Rick Arnold asked Dac.
“It is the Swamp Cruiser. Well, actually it’s the fifth version of the Swamp Cruiser,” Dac responded.
“The fifth? What happened to the others?” Dark Hunter asked.
“Ah, well, the first one… well, all of the wooden planks it was built with were held together by tape. When we went to try it out, the whole thing fell apart. The pieces sank into the ocean. Then on the second version we decided to use super glue. The boat was struck by lightning, and the glue melted. It then sank. On the third version, we used nails. These worked much better. But then, we forgot to leave a hole in the roof of the kitchen. The smoke couldn’t get out, and all of the cooks suffocated. Eventually the fire got out of the oven, and the whole boat was engulfed in flames. The remaining ashes drifted away into the ocean. On the fourth version, we did everything right. But a herd of sharks ate the bottom of the hull out, and the boat sank. And this is the fifth version! The only problem with this one is… we don’t have enough money to get any type of propulsion system for it… besides that sail up there,” Dac explained, pointing to a small blanket taped to a wooden beam.
“A herd of sharks?” Mr. Camel asked.
“Aye, a herd of sharks,” Dac nodded.
“I think you mean a pack of sharks…”
“So… how are we going to move?” Rick asked.
“Uh… I haven’t figured that out, yet,” Dac admitted.
“Well, let’s just use the sail,” Dark Hunter suggested.
“There’s no wind today…” Guilty Spark pointed out.
“Then we’ll just have to create a wind…” Camel said.
“And… how do you suggest we do that?” Dac asked.
“Hmm…”
“We could have someone fart into the sail!” Guilty Spark suggested.
“Um… no. That would stink, and I doubt a fart would push us very far…” Rick said.
“Hmm…” Camel continued to think.
Suddenly Guilty Spark disappeared.
“What? What happened to Guilty Spark?” Dark Hunter asked, confused.
He reappeared.
“Ah there you are!”
Guilty Spark disappeared again. He didn’t return.
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Beautiful Dandelion
Junkee crawled through the dark crawlspace. It was extremely dusty. Even with the flashlight, it was hard to see. He had been crawling in here for several minutes, and there was no sign of Martin Randle.
Click! Darkness. Junkee moved his hands around the flashlight, trying to find the button. He found it and pushed it in. Nothing happened. He pushed it again. The batteries must be dead. He dropped the flashlight and continued crawling along.
He moved his hand forward to pull him along. Instead of touching the steel floor of the crawlspace, it touched nothing. Junkee fell forwards, through the hole.
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Black Widow
Everyone watched as a new person appeared in the seat that SpinoMonkey had just been sitting in. He had an H&K G3 rifle slung over his shoulder, Longsword noticed. It was a good German rifle. Well, he wasn’t from the future.
“Yar, who are ya, lad?” Longsword asked. “And what did you do to SpinoMonkey?”
“Uh… I’m Guilty Spark. The last thing I remember was standing on a boat, talking about farting into the sail to get it to move,” the man said.
“Yar… let me have a whiff of ya, lad!” Longsword said, getting down off of the podium and moving towards Guilty Spark.
Longsword put his nose on Guilty Spark’s shoulder, and sniffed.
“He was transferred to us… this Guilty Spark and SpinoMonkey have apparently switched place. And I know of just one man with the ability to do that… Dark DNA.”
“Who’s that?” Hunter asked.
“He used to be an employee of Edgar, disguised as a patient of Dr. Junkee. That was when I first met him. He suddenly disappeared, with his friend and coworker, TobyCompy. Nobody knew what happened to them. Then, a year ago, I ran into Dark DNA. He is now a powerful warrior! The great Sand Sharks warriors trained him. But all of the Sand Sharks—Seth Rex and Jango Raptor leading them—were killed, along with TobyCompy, in a fierce sand storm. Only Dark DNA survived. He is now one of the few people in the world who use Flashlight Sabers. He has also learned magical powers,” Longsword explained.
“Ooh… cool!” Hunter remarked.
“So… where is SpinoMonkey now?” PFC Gentry asked.
“He’s with the people that Guilty Spark was with, now,” Longsword said.
“Is there any way to get SpinoMonkey back?” Kevy Mac asked.
“No, lad. We have Guilty Spark, now. Hopefully he’s skilled with this rifle, because I think he’s going to need,” Longsword said.
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Swamp Cruiser
In Guilty Spark’s place, a new man appeared. He looked around, trying to figure out where he was.
“Um… excuse me, what just happened?” the man asked Dark Hunter.
“Well, it seems… our fellow agent… disappeared. Now you’re here,” Dark Hunter said.
“Hmm… that’s interesting,” the man replied.
“Aye, it is.”
“Hmm… well, I’m RaptorMonkey! I used to be SpinoMonkey, but after that… incident… happened, I became RaptorMonkey!”
“Cool! Why’d your name change?” Dark Hunter asked.
“I don’t know… but RaptorMonkey is better anyway,” RM answered.
“Interesting, very interesting,” Camel said.
“Yeah…” Rick said.
“So… I guess you’re with us, now,” Camel said.
“I guess so. I don’t have anything else to do, and I have no idea where I am… so… sure!” RM said.
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Beautiful Dandelion
Junkee landed on a sofa, in a well-lit room. Martin stood in front of him, holding an MP5. Behind him were Jpfan4life, Yvonne, Edgar, and Ben. Raptor Dude was in the corner, tied to a chair, a sock in his mouth.
“It took you long enough,” Martin said, handing him the crowbar.
“Well, what do we do now?” Jpfan asked.
“Furby says: Ecki! Ecki! Ecki! Fytengboingyuretepselkmunaderato… BEANS!” Mithrandir exclaimed.
“He’s right, you know,” Ben agreed.
“Indeed…” Martin said.
“Hmm… I don’t get it…” Yvonne said.
“Me neither,” Martin replied. “Instead, I think we should sneak through the boat, and get each of the soldiers caught. Try not to kill them, just capture them and bring them back here.”
“Ok, that’s a better idea,” Yvonne said.
“Yeah, it is… so, should we stick together?” Junkee asked.
“Hmm… yeah, because I’m the only one with a gun,” Martin said.
“Ok, let’s go!” Edgar said, raising his cane.
“Uh… maybe you guys should stay here,” Jpfan suggested.
“Fine!” Edgar said, grumpily.
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Warrior
“Porcupine125, is it true that you killed my aide, CeratosPit, by feeding him onion rings, even though he is allergic to onion rings?” Carna asked.
“Maybe!” P125 responded.
“Ok, men. We have sufficient evidence to toss her over the side,” Carna said.
“No! I meant no! You haven’t heard the last of me!” P125 screamed desperately, as the Cuban soldiers began dragging her to the edge of the boat.
“I’m sure…” Carna said.
P125’s body dropped over the side of the boat. The sharks in the water began to roar. P125’s body was devoured in seconds. Carna looked over the edge of the boat. The water was blood red for as far as he could see.
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Beautiful Dandelion
The group of tourists moved through the boat, stealthily making their way to the front of the boat.
“We’re almost there,” Martin said.
“How do you know?” Yvonne asked.
“Just trust me on this one,” Martin said.
They continued down the path, before coming to a stairway, with light shining down through it.
“That’s our way out,” Junkee said.
“Nah, really?” Jpfan mocked.
“Let’s go,” Martin said, leading them up the stairs.
Dino Dude stood right at the top. Fortunately he was looking the other way.
“Give me the crowbar,” Martin whispered.
Junkee handed the crowbar forward. Martin used it to hook Dino Dude and pull him down the stairs.
“Quickly, someone lead him to the room!” Martin said as Dino Dude struggled to escape.
Jpfan grabbed Dino Dude’s wrists and dragged him on the floor.
“You won’t get away with this, ya know! Bloody fools!” Dino Dude shouted at them.
“That’s one down,” Yvonne said.
“Yeah, go Martin!”
Martin cautiously began walking up the stairs again. The next closest person to them was Stunt Driver. He would be a little harder to get, but they could still get him. Martin charged forwards, silently. He raised the gun and motioned for Stunt Driver to follow. Martin led him down the stairs. Maybe it wasn’t harder.
“Woo! Two! Good job, Martin!” Yvonne exclaimed.
“Yeah, good job Martinator!” Junkee said.
And that's the end of the chapter, so I can finally post it! The Rebellion shall be continuated!
7/9/2004 11:54:50 PM
(Updated: 8/3/2004 6:38:01 PM)
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