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Dino-Life Chapter 8: In the Jungle
By Mr.Camel
The Adventures of Mr. Camel: Dino-Life
Chapter 8: In the Jungle
Martin Randle, Yvonne, Dr. Junkee, and Totally Kyle walked through the jungle.
“So this one time, my grandmother is all, like, ‘Sea critters of the mountains unite!’, and I’m all, like, totally freaked out so—“ Kyle said.
“Can you shut your little asshole up?” Junkee asked.
“Dude, this is my mouth, not my asshole.”
“Well, they can’t be much different for you!” Junkee said before bursting into laughter. He fell to the ground, laughing.
“Dude, what’s so funny? I totally don’t get it.”
“Uh…Let’s leave him here,” Yvonne suggested.
“No! We can’t split up,” Randle said sternly.
Junkee stood and ran over to join the others.
“Um… Sorry about that… I thought it was funny,” Junkee tried to explain.
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Mr. Camel and Guilty Spark walked into another dark room.
“Is this also a supply room?” Guilty Spark asked.
Camel pulled out the map and opened it up. “A theater.”
“Theater? Like a movie theater?”
“I guess. But I don’t know why it is in this building.”
A green portal appeared in the middle of the theater. Four brown aliens popped out.
“That green thing pooped,” Guilty Spark stated.
Camel raised his shotgun. “They don’t look friendly.”
“What are you talking about? Sure they do!”
One alien moved it hands towards Guilty Spark and a bolt of electricity flew out.
“Damn,” Camel said as began to shoot the aliens.
He killed two before another portal appeared and three more alien slaves came out.
“Holy shit,” Guilty Spark said as he stood up.
Some marines ran into the room, shooting the aliens.
Camel shot another alien and began to walk towards the marines. The leader aimed his MP5 at Camel. The leaders head suddenly exploded. Camel looked back and saw Guilty Spark holding the G3 sniper rifle.
“Nice aim!” Camel said.
“Thanks!” Guilty Spark waved.
Camel turned around and began to shoot the other marines, who were still fighting the aliens. Camel didn’t see the grenade coming until it was too late.
“Shit!” Camel shouted as he dove to the left, towards the wall. The grenade rolled into the wall and blew up. The wall exploded around Camel.
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“Sir, Team Three reports that they have discovered Team Five,” Corporal Aragorn said over the radio.
“Are they still alive?” General Evilgrinch asked.
“No, sir, and we don’t think they were all killed by aliens. There were seven dead aliens on the floor, too. We believe someone else was there.”
“Like who?”
“We know that the IIAA was conducting a search for chemicals along the Colorado, and there’s some type of ship outside of the building.”
“A ship?”
“Yes, it looks to be a pirate ship. The name on the side labels it as the Black Widow.”
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“Arr! Damn ye, sand shark!” Captain Darial Longsword said as the fin trailed after the wake of the boat.
Longsword walked over to a cannon, loaded it, and aimed it towards the shark. The shark survived, again.
“Arr! It seems me need a new strategy!” Longsword said as he walked into his room.
Five minutes later he walked out with a velvet box in his hands. He laid it down on the chess table. Longsword took a small key out of his pocket and carefully opened the box.
“What’s in there, Mr. Longsword?” AlanGrant5 asked.
“Captain Longsword! You’ll see what it is.”
Longsword lifted some tissue paper, revealing a large chocolate bar with a string coming out of one end.
“A chocolate bar is going to kill a shark that survived three cannonballs?”
“Arr, no one can resist chocolate, lad! And this isn’t just any chocolate, it’s special chocolate!”
“Why is it special?”
“You’ll see,” Longsword said as he pulled a match out of his pocket and lit the string. Longsword the tossed the chocolate bar towards the shark.
A large mouth appeared and gobbled the chocolate bar up.
“Any moment now!” Longsword grinned.
The sand shark suddenly exploded, and shark meat flew everywhere.
“Well, we have us a fine dinner tonight, don’t we, mates?”
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Rick Arnold walked through the eerily quiet halls of Silver Mesa. He had left Frank Winchester’s office two hours ago. The scientist refused to accompany Rick on his journey.
“This is Corporal Aragorn, do you copy Team 3?” Rick heard someone say over a radio.
“Yes, we are right here!”
“Where is here?”
“The tram near the offices.”
“OK, any sign of Mr. Arnold?”
“No, not yet. Over and out.”
A soldier appeared at the end of the hallway, drinking beer.
“Oh my God! I think we have that Rick guy!” the soldier screamed in surprise. Before he could get his pistol out of its holster, Rick grabbed the crowbar and charged into the soldier. Rick shoved the crowbar into the mans stomach. When he pulled it back out the mans intestines were coiled around the crowbar.
The soldier screamed in agony before dying. Some other soldiers ran out into the hall way, machine guns in hand. Rick threw the crowbar and it lodged itself into one soldiers head.
Rick grabbed his pistol and shot the others before they could react.
“Got some new guns, at least,” Rick said as he walked over to the guards and picked up the MP5 submachine guns. Rick then walked around the corner, into the small communications center Team 3 had built. Only then did Rick notice one man in the corner, talking into the radio.
“He’s gonna kill all of us! The asshole is gonna kill us—“
Rick fired a bullet into the radioman’s head.
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“Fuck, it smells,” The Host said as he sat on a lawn chair and sipped ice tea.
“Well, we’re doing more work than you,” NowAndAgain snarled.
“I would if my leg wasn’t broken!” Host shouted back.
“Oh yeah! You want to fight?!”
“No, I’m fine. Maybe a new straw, this one is getting slightly bent on the right side,” Host said, tossing the straw at NowAndAgain. “Also, some ice cubes!”
NowAndAgain mumbled angrily as he walked inside to get the Host a new straw and some ice cubes.
“You’re so mean, Host,” Ben said.
“I know. It’s fun.”
Edgar and NowAndAgain walked out. NowAndAgain was holding his face in his hands, crying.
“It was the one, Mr. Edgar! He is the mean one!” NowAndAgain pointed at the Host.
“Host, Host, Host. What are we going to do with you? I told you not to do this already. Please listen so people don’t have to continue interrupting my ah… activities,” Edgar said.
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“In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight!” Junkee sang as they trekked through the jungle.
“Oh my God! Shut up! Please?” Yvonne said.
“One-hundred and fifty-six!” Martin said.
Yvonne kicked the back of Martin’s knee, sending his face into a pile of dung.
The group laughed at Martin.
“Haha…. Dude you’re face is covered in shit!” Totally Kyle laughed.
Martin stood up, reached down, and scooped some of the dung in his hand and through it at Totally Kyle.
“Shit ball fight!” Junkee shouted and scooped some up and threw it at Yvonne.
“Oh my God! You asshole!” Yvonne screamed.
The shit ball fight commenced.
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Rick Arnold turned the knobs of the radio, trying to get it to work.
“Guten tag! Das ist Doytchland!” someone on the other side said. (“Good day! This is Germany!”)
Rick didn’t know much German.
“Guten tag!” Rick said. (“Good day!”)
“Vie heiss stu?” the German man said. (“What are you called?”)
“Ich heissa Rick Arnold! Was ist das wetter?” Rick said. He was no longer sure what he was saying. (“I am called Rick Arnold! What is the weather?”)
“Die you motherfucker!” the voice on the other side said. (“Die you mother…oh yeah…German is over…”)
Rick was so surprised that he threw the radio into the wall.
“You will die, Rick Arnold! As long as my name is Aragorn, you will die!”
Rick walked over to the radio and picked it up.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Rick asked.
“Leave me alone!”
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TobyCompy and DarkDNA finally escaped from their room. For the past few days they had been lying around watching TV and sleeping. Both had gained at least five pounds.
“You ready for this?” TobyCompy asked.
“For what?” DarkDNA asked.
“For jumping off of the boat!”
“Oh yeah! Don’t worry, I feel you man!”
TobyCompy stared at DarkDNA.
“What? I do. And you feel pretty good, dude!”
TobyCompy looked down to see DarkDNA’s hand in his pants.
“Ah! Get off of me! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!” TobyCompy screamed.
“Oh! Sorry about that! It’s the drugs, I swear!”
“No more drugs, OK?”
“Oh, fine. As long as you’ll be my friend and not abandon me here.”
“I won’t. We’ll go on the count of ten, OK? One… two… three… four… five…”
TobyCompy paused. “What comes after five?”
“Two,” DarkDNA answered.
“OK, five… two… three… four… five… two… three… four… five… two… three… four… five… this isn’t working.”
“Oh yeah! It’s six!”
“Oh, thanks! Five… six… seven… eight… nine…”
“Seventy-eight…”
“Seventy-nine… eighty… eighty-one… eighty-two…”
DarkDNA smiled. He had succeeded in delaying the escape. He was afraid to jump off… there might be more sand sharks.
---Chapter 8 is over!---
The German wasn't very good because I have only been in German class for a week. The words are not spelled correctly. I tried to spell them as they are pronounced. W's are pronounced as V's.
Please comment!
9/5/2003 7:59:20 PM
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