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Dino-Life Chapter 2 The Seven Seas
By Mr.Camel
The Adventures of Mr. Camel: Dino-Life
Chapter 2: The Seven Seas
The small IIAA private jet landed next to the Colorado River. A ramp was moved next to the door. Mr. Camel, Guilty Spark, AlanGrant5 and Dan stepped onto the ramp, walked down and over to the river. A large ship that looked like it was a pirate ship sat in the water. It was the Black Widow.
“We’re supposed to find a toxin in the Colorado River on a pirate ship?” Camel asked.
“Arr! It’s not just any pirate ship, lad! It’s the Black Widow! And ye have the best captain in all the seven seas! Captain Darial Longsword at ye service, lads!” One of the pirates said.
“Yes, but how do we do SCIENTIFIC experiments on a pirate ship?”
“Ye has a technological contraption in ye hand, I believe,” Captain Longsword said, pointing to a laptop AlanGrant5 was holding.
“Captain Longsword, if you’re such a great pirate captain, why haven’t we heard of you?” Guilty Spark asked.
“I am a new pirate. I used to be known as Snake-Mark. Now I am Darial Longsword!”
“Captain, shall there be anything for me to do?” another pirate asked.
“Yar, there be something to do, Paleeoguy. Roll out the red carpet for me guests and mop the decks!”
“Aye, sir!” Paleeoguy said, running into the cabin.
Paleeoguy returned carrying an old, dirty red rug with brown stains on it. He laid it across the ramp into the boat, which it didn’t fully cover.
“Yar! There ye be! Now go up to the deck with yourselves, mates!” Longsword said as a Honda Civic drove up by the ship. A man stepped out of the driver side door. “Yar! This be me good friend, Dr. Junkee! How are ye, mate?”
Dr. Junkee pulled a knife out of his pocket and began chasing Dan. “Why did you make me bring these two fools?!?!” Junkee asked as he pointed back to the Civic, where two men were struggling to open the doors.
“I DON’T KNOW!!!” Dan screamed as Junkee threw the knife at Dan’s throat. The knife went through Dan’s throat. Dan fell to the ground.
“You killed him!” AlanGrant5 said.
Dan suddenly got up. “Can I have a band-aid?”
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Edgar sat down in a seat near the front. The movie began to play. A voice said, “Welcome to Dinosaur Island! Raaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!”
“This isn’t an island!” Host objected.
“Well actually it isn’t an island, but who the fuck cares! This place was designed by Edgar-“ Edgar smiled at his name “-, the greatest person alive, for little fucking kids to enjoy themselves and look at the dinosaurs taking shits! Isn’t that shittin’ nice?”
“Um…” The Host started.
“He’s not talking about the dinosaurs of course!” Edgar said, horrified that on the first tour someone already took that the wrong way.
“Anyway, here is the greatest person alive, the great Edgar! All hail Edgar!”
Edgar blushed as he appeared on the screen.
“Hello, boys and girls! We will now tell you about those dinosaurs you saw on the way up here! First we get a person!” An innocent janitor walked up on the screen. Edgar pulled a knife out and slit the janitor’s throat. The janitor immediately died. Edgar scooped up some blood in his hands. “This is BLOOD. As you can see, it is red. There is DNA in the blood. To make dinosaurs we get amber with mosquitoes in it, slit the mosquitoes’ throats, suck their blood out through plastic straws, and hope there is dinosaur DNA in it, too!”
“And you will edit this before showing it to little kids, right?” The Host asked.
“Why ever would you think of such a thing? Of course not!” Edgar said.
A chime suddenly rang. “Time for lunch!” Edgar announced.
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Guilty Spark took a band-aid out of his pocket and ran over to Dan. Dan was fully recovered within thirty seconds.
“Wow those Barney band-aids certainly are helpful!” Dan said, with a small yellow band-aid on his throat and Barney on it. Dan began to walk up the ramp.
“Aren’t you coming, Mr. Dan?” Mr. Camel asked.
“No, Camel. But I will monitor your position from the plane!”
“But-“ Junkee started, but it was too late. Dan was already in the plane. The ramp was moved and the plane rolled forward, over the desert sand. “Damn!”
“Arr, it be okay, Junkee. We find ye a room for them! Paleeoguy, open the doors for the fools!” Longsword said looking to see they still hadn’t escaped from the Civic.
Paleeoguy ran off of the boat and opened door. The two men fell out.
“Ow! I have a boo-boo, Dr. Junkee!” one of them said.
“You say you have a boob? And you are a man, right DarkDNA?” Junkee loved to insult and injure his patients.
“No! I am hurt! I am ba-rused!” DarkDNA said.
“Ow! Me too!” TobyCompy said.
Junkee took a block of cheese out of his pocket and cut in half with the bloody knife he had thrown at them earlier. Then he threw one half at each of them. They were knocked back five feet from the impact but got back up and wolfishly ate the cheese, even the bloody parts.
“Thank you Dr. Junkee! That was yummy!” DarkDna and TobyCompy said in unison.
“That was disturbing. How they ate the cheese with Dan’s blood on it,” Camel said.
“Yes, it was,” Guilty Spark said.
Little did any of them know DarkDNA and TobeyCompy were not actually loonies.
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“And for lunch I get…pizza!” Edgar said.
“What do we get?” Randle asked.
“You get…”
“Cardboard!” Host said.
“I’m not that mean. Actually you get… Goldfish crackers!”
“You get pizza…we get Goldfish crackers,” Host said in disbelief.
“Well, Host, at leas its something,” Randle said as he and Yvonne began to eat the goldfish.
“Hmm…these are actually pretty good,” Yvonne said.
“But not as good as pizza!” Edgar said, cheerfully.
“Actually, I would say they are even better than pizza!” Randle said.
“Cheddar Goldfish beat pizza any day!” Yvonne said.
“Cheddar? I like cheddar, so maybe I will try some,” Host said. “Hmm…these are good.”
“Could…could I try some?” Edgar asked.
“If you give us some pizza,” Host said.
“It’s a deal!” Edgar said.
That's the end of Chapter 2: The Seven Seas! Please comment.
8/25/2003 2:14:41 PM
(Updated: 8/25/2003 2:20:36 PM)
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