|
Dino-Life Chapter 15 Falling into Place
By Mr.Camel
The Adventures of Mr. Camel: Dino-Life
Chapter 15: Falling into Place
SpinoMonkey steered the Black Widow towards the building. SpinoMonkey was one of Captain Darial Longsword’s “replacement crewmen”. Paleeoguy had been the best; SpinoMonkey was second. But Paleeoguy was dead, making SpinoMonkey the best crewmember of the Black Widow. SpinoMonkey was proud of this; it made him feel special.
“Continue on course, mate!” Longsword commanded.
“Aye, aye sir!” SpinoMonkey grinned.
********************************************************************************
Rick Arnold floated onto the rocky ground of the hostile planet. There was no gravity. Rick checked to make sure all of his weapons were still with him. He held the plasma beamer firmly in his hands. Rick’s finger slid onto the trigger. He walked forward, the gun ready to shoot anything that would jump in front of him.
********************************************************************************
The battle of the pigeons raged on. Kooloomoo raised the Golden Sword and hacked away at a group of low flying pigeons. Jango Raptor and Seth Rex fought, back to back, against a group of land pigeons, which were too fat to fly. Dark DNA and TobyCompy manned the artillery and anti-aircraft guns. The basic Sand Shark infantry fought strongly against the pooping Pigeons in the sky.
“Over here!” Kooloomoo shouted.
The three leader Sand Sharks regrouped about ten feet from the fighting armies.
“What is it, Master Kooloomoo?” Jango Raptor asked, breathing hard.
Kooloomoo grinned. “Winning we are.”
Seth Rex and Jango Raptor looked at the armies. There were about eight hundred Sand Sharks remaining and only three hundred Pigeons.
“Good work, Seth Rex,” Kooloomoo said.
“Thank you, Kooloomoo,” Seth Rex said gratefully.
BUM BA DA BUM DUM DA BA DUM BUM BA DA BUM!
“Oh, shit,” whispered Jango Raptor.
A large army of Pigeon reinforcements had just arrived; many of them land pigeons.
“It is time for a new weapon, comrades,” Kooloomoo said. “It is time for the… Forks.”
Seth Rex sighed. “They’re just too powerful. We can’t do it.”
“We shall get the humans, too.”
“But… they don’t know about the Forks yet,” Seth Rex protested.
“TOBYCOMPY! DARK DNA! COME OVER HERE NOW!” Kooloomoo shouted.
TobyCompy and Dark DNA ran across the desert towards the three fish.
“We have something important to tell you,” Seth Rex started.
“Really?”
“Yes. The Pigeons are getting reinforcements.”
“They are the feared… Land Pigeons!” Jango Raptor said as he made a hissing noise.
“Of course, anti-aircraft guns aren’t too useful against… land units,” Seth Rex said.
“Oh no! We’re doomed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” Dark DNA wailed.
“What are we to do?” TobyCompy asked.
“Well… a long time ago, even before we were born, the Sand Sharks developed a special weapon,” Kooloomoo began. “The weapon is called… the Fork.”
“Like the eating utensil?” TobyCompy asked.
“Yes, a few years after they were invented a Chinese guy found one of the Forks and it became an eating utensil. Anyway, the Forks are powerful magical weapons,” Kooloomoo explained.
Seth Rex removed an extra Fork from his pocket. It was bigger than a normal fork was, and it had two buttons on it.
“Thank you,” Kooloomoo said, taking the Fork out of Seth’s fins. “This top button turns on… the FORKS! You can do anything when the FORKS is on! You can change what something does, like make a person think differently than they would normally think, you can lift up buildings and drop them on people—that’s one of my personal favorites—or you can read someone’s mind, all that good stuff. The bottom button turns on the Fork Saber! It’s a beam of light—like a flashlight—that cuts through things! I like cutting through things that are alive, it’s more fun than cutting inanimate objects!”
TobyCompy and Dark DNA were given their own Forks. They pushed the bottom button one each. A dim beam of light came off of the points. The three fish turned their sabers on too.
“Damn, these are too dim!” Jango Raptor sighed in disappointment.
“Never fear, we have another weapon!” Kooloomoo said. He saw the two humans throw the Forks to the ground. “Hey! Keep them! Remember, they still have… the FORKS! Anyway, our other weapons… well… the Sand Sharks didn’t really make them. We imported them from some distant planet. They are… flashlight sabers!”
Five flashlights flew down from the sky. Each of them picked one up.
“They look like normal flashlights… but they’re not! Turn on the light and a—hopefully—bright light will shine out! That is the blade! You can cut things open with it!” Kooloomoo said.
“AWESOME!” Dark DNA shouted.
The five of them turned their flashlights on and ran towards the approaching Pigeons.
********************************************************************************
The jeep sped through the jungle. Ben slammed his foot on the gas pedal and edged the jeep to the left, to avoid a fallen tree.
“You’re going too fast!” Edgar screamed as he bounced around in the back seat.
“Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow,” Host repeated as his foot slammed against the side of the door every time the jeep bounced.
“Shut the hell up!” Ben shouted.
“Slow down, damn it!” Edgar screamed as his head hit the roof.
“I hate this damn place. I am getting the hell out of here as quickly as I can,” Ben said.
“Watch out for that--” Edgar started to scream. “Tree.”
The jeep hit the large tree straight on, but surprisingly kept going. The jeep was now driving up the tree.
“AH!!! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!” Edgar screamed.
The jeep reached the top of the tree and launched itself off. The jeep flew through the air as the wheels spun. THUD! The jeep hit the ground hard, but Ben continued to push it forward.
“YOU DAMN PSYCHO! SLOW DOWN!” Edgar shouted.
Ben smiled and pushed his foot down even harder on the gas pedal.
“DAMN IT, SLOW DOWN!!!”
Ben accelerated over a hill.
“AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Edgar screamed as his head went through the roof.
Edgar struggled to pull his head back down, but he was stuck.
“HELP!!! I’M STUCK!!! HELP!!!” Edgar screamed.
Host slid over to pull Edgar down, but was stopped by Ben.
“This is fun. Don’t help him, or else you get what NowAndAgain got,” Ben warned.
The Host slid back to his seat and smiled.
“HELP ME, DAMN IT!!! YOU ASSHOLE, BEN! YOU’RE FIRED!” Edgar screamed.
“Yay! I always did hate that job!” Ben said happily.
Edgar began kicking his feat.
“Ow!” Host screamed as Edgar’s foot struck him in the face. The Host slumped over onto the window, unconscious.
“Ha! Take that, Ben!” Edgar laughed.
“You hit the Host, not me!” Ben said.
“Damn. Oh well, I hated him, too.”
Ben looked forward, through the window. A jungle was ahead. Ben smiled to himself.
“AHHH!!! A JUNGLE! NOOOOO!!!!!” Edgar screamed.
Edgar closed his eyes as the branches of the trees struck him in the face. Some of the leaves flew into his mouth. Edgar tried to spit them out, but it only resulted in more leaves flying into his mouth.
“AH!!!!! MY MOUTH!!! IT’S THE DAMN LEAVES!!! THEY TASTE BAD!!! REALLY BAD!!!” Edgar screamed.
Ben laughed uncontrollably as the jeep flew out of the jungle. Edgar spit the leaves out of his mouth and wiped the blood away from a scratch he had gotten. The next obstacle was a lake.
“NO!!! A LAKE!!! PLEASE NOT THE LAKE!!!” Edgar pleaded.
Ben drove the jeep into the lake. Edgar held his breath as fish swam past his head. A large wad of seaweed floated into his face.
The Host woke up and screamed when he saw water out of the windows.
“Don’t worry, the water can’t get in,” Ben said.
“But what about Edgar?” Host asked worriedly.
“What about him?”
“He might drown!”
The jeep drove out of the lake, water spraying behind it. Edgar threw the seaweed off of his face and spit a goldfish out of his mouth.
“YOU ARE A DAMNED PSYCHO!!! YOU ARE FIRED!!!” Edgar screamed with rage.
Ben and the Host laughed as the jeep drove through the tall grass.
********************************************************************************
Mr. Camel, Dark Hunter, and Guilty Spark approached a large window. Outside was a hot parking lot. Steam rose off of it.
“Oh shit!” Dark Hunter shouted as a large shadow appeared over the parking lot.
Mr. Camel looked across to the other side of the parking lot to see a group of four people climbing over the dusty rocks.
“Give me that,” Camel said, taking the sniper rifle from Guilty Spark.
Camel checked to see that the safety was on and looked through the scope. He zoomed in to get a closer look at the people. Camel studied the people carefully. All of them wore ragged, sweaty clothes. One looked to be a rock star, with long blonde hair that reached his soldiers. Another man was a smart looking guy. There was a woman… and the other man… he looked familiar…
“Oh my God, it’s Junkee!” Camel shouted with excitement.
********************************************************************************
“Yes! We’re almost there!” Yvonne said excitedly.
The large and unmistakable shape of Trogdor landed upon the ground, directly in their path.
“No! We’re going to die!” Yvonne announced sadly.
“He was nice to us before! Why would he one of us this time?” Junkee asked.
Trogdor suddenly leaned forward and ate Totally Kyle. Kyle was devoured within seconds.
“Uh… that was disturbing,” Yvonne said grimly.
“Oh well…” Junkee said solemnly.
Trogdor roared, causing saliva and blood and bones and brains and intestines and earwax and a lot of other stuff to fly out of his mouth. It somehow missed everyone.
“Run! Run as fast as you can!” Martin shouted.
********************************************************************************
“Oh, bloody hell. It just ate the kid,” Camel said, shaking his head sadly.
“Woo hoo!” Dark Hunter said. “I hate kids!”
Guilty Spark and Camel glared at him.
“I mean… uh… oh damn… I love kids… what a shame…”
Camel turned around and looked back through the scope.
Commercial:
“Holy marshmallows! A mouthful of soft, poofy, Holiness in every bite!” the commercial sang out. “Yum! Yum! Yum! They’re the snack for you!”
“What the fuck is going on?” Camel asked.
“HOLY MARSHMALLOWS ARE GOOD FOR YOU! THERE IS A MOTHBALL IN EVERY BITE! WOO HOO!”
The Holy Marshmallows commercial was over.
“Woo hoo! I love Holy Marshmallows!!!” Guilty Spark shouted.
Another commercial:
“Poop Flakes! Poop Flakes! OH YEAH! Eat them all the time! They are good for you! WARNING: MADE FROM REAL PIGEON FECES”
“What the fuck is up with these damned commercials?” Mr. Camel asked.
“Hmmm… Poop Flakes… Haven’t tried them yet. I’ll look for them when we get home!” Guilty Spark exclaimed.
“You do that.”
Yet another commercial:
“Read Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution today!!!”
“Okay… that wasn’t so bad…” Camel sighed.
He looked out the window again, seeing the three remaining people scatter and run towards the building.
BOOM!!! The ground exploded and dust clouded the scene. The cloud dissipated, revealing a large teal monster.
It was none other than TobyCompy’s monster, the Gubaflunk. Gubaflunk was a large teal monster with silver hair… and big teeth.
“Well, they’re dead. Let’s get out of here now!” Dark Hunter suggested, edging towards the door.
Camel handed the G3 to Guilty Spark.
“Shoot them when you think you need to,” Camel instructed.
********************************************************************************
Martin watched in horror as Gubaflunk walked towards him.
“AHHHHH!!!!!” Martin screamed as he flailed his arms.
The footsteps behind him stopped. Martin turned around to see that Trogdor had stomped on Gubaflunk’s foot.
“RAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!” Gubaflunk screamed in agony.
Gubaflunk then stepped on Trogdor’s foot, but it was useless. Trogdor burninated Gubaflunk’s silver hair, causing it to fall to the ground in ashes.
“AHHHHHHH!!!!!” Gubaflunk screamed.
Trogdor began to lift off when Gubaflunk swiped his arm, knocking off Trogdor’s straight eyebrows. Gubaflunk laughed and kicked one of Trogdor’s stick legs off. Trogdor screamed in agony. He then batted his wings and lifted off. Gubaflunk bit the other leg off. Trogdor lifted his beefy arm and drove it into Gubaflunk’s mouth, sending sharp, pointy teeth everywhere. Gubaflunk rolled onto the hot tar of the parking lot. He managed to push himself up. Trogdor picked Gubaflunk up in his teeth and tossed him into space. Trogdor did a victory dance. He turned around to resume looking for his prey, but they were gone.
Whoosh! Trogdor looked up to see Gubaflunk falling down to the earth, carrying a black hole. They were both sucked in.
********************************************************************************
Yvonne, Martin, and Junkee rushed into the building. Mr. Camel, Dark Hunter, and Guilty Spark greeted them there.
“So, Junkee, have a pleasant adventure?” Camel smiled.
“I died,” Junkee grinned.
“Did you? You look very much alive to me.”
“I was rejected from heaven because I smelled so bad.”
“Okay…”
“Are we going yet?” Dark Hunter asked impatiently.
“Yeah,” Camel said, leading the group, now six people, through the halls of the building.
********************************************************************************
Rick Arnold continued through the odd terrain of the alien world, ZeDen. Green columns of gas rose from the geysers. The sky was a mixture of green and black; the stars were shiny white crosses suspended in the sky.
“REE-WOO!”
A head crab jumped up at Rick’s face. Rick dodged at the last possible second. He dropped the plasma beamer and removed the crowbar from his belt and killed the small creature.
“REE-WOO! REE-WOO! REE-WOO!”
Rick looked forward. About thirty head crabs faced him. In the distance he saw an unusually large head crab. It was at least twenty feet tall.
“Oh shit,” Rick sighed.
He picked up the plasma beamer and shot into the crowd of head crabs. More began dropping out of the large crab.
“Holy shit!”
Over fifty head crabs were crawling towards him now. He reached into his pocket for a roll of duct tape. He taped the crowbar to the end of the barrel of the plasma beamer, making it a bayonet. Rick smiled at his overwhelming intelligence.
“Bring it on!” Rick shouted as he stabbed a head crab in midair.
Rick put his plan to action. His plan: Shoot the large head crab because it is creating reinforcements. When the normal crabs get close, stab them.
“REE-WOO!”
Rick stabbed at another crab and resumed shooting. The guns seemed to have no effect on the large beast.
“WAAAH-REEE-TOOO-KAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH” the crab screamed.
Rick grinned as the giant crab began to go into spasms. The beast suddenly exploded, along with all of the other crabs.
“Cool,” Rick grinned as he walked forward, with his new bayonet.
********************************************************************************
Seth Rex glanced around at the battlefield around him. Kooloomoo was rounding up the handful of remaining Sand Sharks. Hundreds and thousands of corpses lay upon the ground, both pigeons and sharks, laying motionless… dead… in each other’s blood.
The war had been costly in lives, but it had been won. The world had been saved again from the evil pigeons. That was all that mattered.
Seth Rex swam into the sunset, toward his fellow warriors.
********************************************************************************
The Black Widow edged closer to the concrete outer perimeter wall of the Silver Mesa facility. Captain Longsword sat on a lawn chair upon the deck, eating doughnuts.
The sun had begun to set; it would be dark in about three hours. He hoped they would be leaving before it was dark. He had been hearing a lot of frightening sounds of late, such as gunshots, battle cries, explosions, anti-aircraft guns… Longsword didn’t feel safe in the desert any more… he wished so much for them to be able to leave…
********************************************************************************
“Come on, it’s this way! We’re almost out of this bloody place!” Camel shouted.
“Thank God! How much longer, exactly?” asked Yvonne.
“About another thirty minutes or so,” Martin said.
“About fucking time we get out of this damned place!” Dark Hunter shouted in joy.
Camel rounded a corner and stopped suddenly in his tracks.
“Oh shit,” Camel trembled.
RaptorVinny stood in their path.
********************************************************************************
Rick Arnold stumbled into a large cavern. The domed roof stood two hundred feet over his head. In the center was a large, green, swirling portal. He reloaded his gun and waited.
********************************************************************************
Aragorn, Raptor Dude, and Dino Dude entered a large room. A fan was pushing the wind against them, restraining them from moving forward.
“Move along the wall!” Aragorn shouted.
The three of them crawled along the side of the wall. It took about ten minutes for them to reach the other side. Raptor Dude opened the door. On the other side was a very large room. A reactor was centered in it, along with catwalks halfway up the room. They climbed the ladders up to the catwalk and noticed a large purple portal on the one side of the wall. It looked like something was coming out of the portal. They waited to see what would happen
Thanks for reading! Please comment!
Coming Soon: The Adventures of Mr. Camel 2: The Hunt for the Black Widow, the sequel to Dino-Life!
11/6/2003 9:01:09 PM
Comment on this fan fiction!
|
|
|
