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Dino-Life Chapter 12 Rising From the Ashes
By Mr.Camel
The Adventures of Mr. Camel: Dino-Life
Chapter 12: Rising From the Ashes
“A really, really, really, really, really, really, really long time ago, in a feudal empire in the southwest desert, there were two forces: The Pigeons of Doom, and The Samurai Sharks. Sadly, they never really lived peacefully, and they still don’t.
The current situation: The Pigeons of Doom have returned from the depths of hell to get vengeance on the Samurai Sharks. They are currently engaged in destroying any smaller force that opposes them. These smaller forces are made up of humans, aliens and dinosaurs. They now use acid in their feces to deteriorate the body of their victim. It melts the skin off, and then large chunks of meat slide off the victim’s body. They are then considered exterminated, at which time they may be left to rot, or used as a source of food for the pigeons.
Why are the pigeons seeking revenge? In the year 812 A.D., a war began between the pigeons and the sand sharks. The Pigeons of Doom fought stupidly. They rarely used their wings to help them get to where they needed to attack. Instead, they built large catapults to launch rocks at the Shark fortresses. It worked well for a few hours before the Sharks began building underground. Eventually, the pigeons got smarter and began to drop the rocks from extended vertical heights, making the gravity pull them to the ground faster. Sometimes they were able to penetrate down to the fortresses.
The Sharks fought much more dangerously. They carried swords and traveled under the sand, popping out of the ground to devour their enemies. They could also make burrows, and sometimes ate carrots. These sand sharks eventually evolved into rabbits. The Sharks had only three weaknesses: bird feces, being carried into the air by the pigeons, or being gobbled down by a swarm of pigeons at a time. These weaknesses greatly slowed the progress of the Sharks attacks.
It went back and forth for a time, before some heroes stepped up. Among these is the great duo of Seth Rex and Jango Raptor. The two fought side-by-side, fighting through and eventually destroying the Pigeons defenses. However, they were not powerful enough to break into the main building. This is where the great Sand Shark Samurai came in. In fact, he was actually a goldfish. Goldfish in the Shark community were often discriminated those days, but the War-Shark was in need of ideas. The powerful and well-respected Seth suggested… the greatest warrior of all time… Kooloomoo!
Kooloomoo (pronounced “Koo-Loo-Moo”) was a great goldfish warrior. He fought ferociously, cutting down the enemies in his path using the Golden Sword. He was ordered to capture the main building, which he did successfully, mowing down any pigeon that attempted to defeat him. He now stands as the greatest warrior in Sand Shark history.
Now, in a modern atmosphere, the pigeons are trying to defeat the Sharks. The battle will be long and hard, but the victory awarding to those who survive and conquer. The outcome is unknown to all except the author of this story, who shall not tell anyone. We, the Sharks, must fight for, honor, glory, and freedom. We must defeat these aviary demons of hell; relieving the world of their demands for global domination. We, the Sharks, must fight for the future of the world!”
Jango Raptor finally concluded his speech, leaving everyone either confused or sleeping.
“Uh, yes, Jango. That about sums it up. Anyways, do you know where we may find the great Kooloomoo?” Seth Rex yawned.
A swift blur zipped off to the right, behind a cactus. It then zipped around them in a circle, before an old goldfish appeared in the sky, a sword of gold in his fins. He landed and shoved the sword into his belt.
“Arrived, have I,” Kooloomoo said in a hoarse, old voice.
“Welcome, great warrior Kooloomoo,” Seth Rex and Jango Raptor saluted. Dark DNA and TobyCompy did the same.
“Help, I must. A true warrior, I am. Let you down, I will not. Fight for the extinction of the pigeons, I will,” Kooloomoo said.
“What the hell did he just say?” TobyCompy asked rudely.
“He said he will help because he is a true warrior and will not let us down. He will fight the pigeons forever,” Seth translated.
“Learn to accept others for differences of theirs, you must, young one,” Kooloomoo said.
“Fuck you, asshole!” TobyCompy shouted.
“Learn when to shut up, young smart ass!” Kooloomoo removed the Golden Sword from his belt, placing it in a position so one quick swipe would remove Toby’s head.
“Uh, okay then. Sorry,” TobyCompy sighed with relief when Kooloomoo returned the sword.
“Learn quickly, you do, young one. Seth, what is the plan of attack to eradicate these pigeons once and for all?”
“Well, I don’t know if it will totally dispose of them. It was supposed to do that last time, too, but here they are again. But my plan for getting them away from here is ***********************************************************************************************************************”
Seth Rex explained the plan.
“Hmm… good it sounds, Seth. Now, get to work we will!” Kooloomoo said. The group headed towards the building.
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Rising from the ashes of shit was a dark, shadowy figure. He stood to his full height. The mist of poop flakes drifted apart, and the figure slowly and clumsily stumbled towards the dugout under the tree.
Poking his head down, the figure managed to spit out the word “Boo!”
Yvonne screamed and Totally Kyle and Martin Randle jumped.
Martin stared up at the face, a scene that would forever glue itself to his mind. Peering down was a dark and ruddy face. The man’s hair was a mess, tangled and unkempt. As the man stepped down into the dugout under the tree, Martin saw ripped and tattered clothing covering the body. It appeared burnt. Only then did Martin realize who it was.
“Holy shit, it’s Junkee,” Martin said in quiet disbelief.
“The one and only,” the Junkee grinned, his teeth surprisingly as white as fresh snow.
Everyone in the dugout stared disbelievingly at Junkee. They had given up hope for his survival just half an hour ago.
“Oh my God, how did you live? What happened? You were trapped in there for days,” Yvonne asked softly.
“One-hundred and fifty-eight?” Junkee laughed.
“No, actually it’s about one-hundred-seventy-eight, now, dude,” Totally Kyle snapped out of his shock.
“Oh, one-seventy-eight? Hmm…worried about me, were you Yvonne?” Junkee mused.
Yvonne nodded, a tear rolling down her cheek.
“Oh, sorry. I was okay, except for that damned explosion. Sent me flying a good five miles into the sky. Of course, I died. The good thing is that I went to heaven. I tried to find God, but got lost. Someone told me he was in the bathroom. Damn big bathrooms they have there. Eventually he did come in, and rescued me. He said I smelled bad decided to send me back, and come back after I had taken a shower. I asked why a bomb of poop, you can’t curse in heaven, you know, and he said that a small nuclear warhead was stuck inside it. Then he sent me back here,” Junkee concluded.
“Welcome back to life,” Martin grinned.
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“Sir, my left cheek has fallen into a deep slumber and the right one is well on its way,” Dino Dude, the team’s heavy weapons guy (HW guy) complained.
“Sergeant, stop complaining about your ass falling into unconsciousness,” Corporal Aragorn instructed.
The team had been sitting on their butts for about nine hours now; Aragorn had decided to put them through this for discipline. No one else there understood how sitting for nine hours would discipline them.
“Sir, can I take a dump yet? It’s getting lodged in there pretty good, and soon it will be very hard to force out,” Raptor Dude complained.
“No, at least six more hours.”
“But sir, I’m getting rather constipated.”
“But sergeant, oh fucking well! I said no and I mean it!”
“Sir, I really have to piss,” Crow, the sniper complained.
“You have pants, use ‘em!” Aragorn said, trying not to laugh.
“But sir, that’s disgusting.”
“Exactly.”
“Okay, then.” The sound of trickling water filled the room. A dark spot appeared on the front of his pants.
“Sir, how does this help us become discipline?” Riddler asked.
“It teaches that you should always use the toilet before sitting in places for extended periods of time.”
Riddler made note of what Aragorn had said, in a small notebook.
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“In the chopper, in the chopper!” Carnotaur3 ushered the other Black Ops leaders into the Apache helicopter.
“My ass is too fat to fit in these small seats!” Punk Nerd yelled in unhappiness.
“Get a smaller ass, fat ass!” Carnotaur3 shouted back.
“It keeps growing, damn it!” Punk Nerd said in frustration.
“Hold it in,” Dark Hunter suggested.
“Okay, let’s go, go, go!!!” shouted RaptorVinny, who was piloting the aircraft, shouted as the chopper lifted into the sky.
==#Chapter 12 is completed!#==
Thanks for reading, please comment!
10/2/2003 7:50:48 PM
(Updated: 10/2/2003 8:01:45 PM)
(Updated: 10/4/2003 9:36:05 PM)
Comment on this fan fiction!
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