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Dr. Junkee III Loonies In Space (Part 8)
By JPJunkee
Well it took just a little bit longer than usual, but here it is, Episode 8 is done. We hope you enjoy! Leave a comment afterwards. Thanks everybody! :)
Characters played by Martin Randle:
Martin Randle
Dark Hunter
General Rancor
Dark Janitor
Carnotaur3
Darial Longsword
Mark
Dan
Pete
Pilot #2
Characters played by Kyle Warner:
Dr. Junkee
Vader
Drucifer
Evilgrinch
Bob
Pilot #2
Characters played by Yvonne:
Yvonne
Yoda/Puppet
Character played by Adam Pratt:
Dino_Dude
Character played by Christina Frausini:
Jpfan4life
And here is the script to go along with the episode.
FADE IN
Dan: Bob. . . . Bob?
Penguin: CRAW!
Bob: What?
Dan: Bob? . . . Bob! The penguin ate my shoe.
Bob: He. . . he. . . what?
Penguin: CRAW!
Dan: The penguin, the shoe, and the eating, all gone. What do we do?
Bob: Stop talking to me.
Dan: No, I've tried that, it didn't work. Help me Bob!
Bob: Did you try gutting it?
Penguin: CRAW?!
Dan: Hmmm. Would that work?
Bob: Sure, hand me that scalpel.
[clang of metal]
Dan: Time to get messy!
Penguin: CRAW!!!!
[Penguin begins flying away]
Bob: It's flying away.
Dan: I didn't know they could do that. . . . AFTER IT!
[theme song]
FADE TO
[sounds of the Black Widow landing. Then a hiss as the landing ramp is lowered. Footsteps over metal as they walk down the ramp and then onto the rocky surface of Denmarkia. Oh and it's raining]
Longsword: Darr, welcome to Denmarkia lads. Population; us. Aharharhar!
Drucifer: What is that gigantic rock protrusion in the ground over there?
Martin: That would be Mount Broom, our final destination. We have arrived at last. But we are not out of danger yet, we still have a long trek ahead of us.
Longsword: Aye, follow Pete. His nose can lead us, yargh.
Pete: Growlllll.
Longsword: Arr, they don't need to know you don't have a nose! Just start walking you giant dust bunny, argh.
[they begin walking]
Junkee: Martin, can I have a word with you?
Martin: Yeah sure, Junkee. You guys keep going, we'll catch up with you, yeah?
Longsword: Aye.
[Longsword, Drucifer, and Pete begin walking away]
Drucifer (fading as he walks away): How about we leave them? The series could be ours!
Longsword (fading away): Arrr shut up!
Drucifer (fading away): Sorry.
Martin: What is it Junkee?
Junkee: I've got a bad feeling about this.
Martin: Yeah well everybody's got a bad feeling about everything.
Junkee: This is different, you see. Our friends, Vader, Yvonne, and Dark Hunter. . . I think they're in grave danger.
Martin: You mean if they're not dead already.
Junkee: Yeah, well, always nice to have an optimist on the team.
Martin: What do you propose we do, Junkee?
Drucifer: (from far away) Are you guys coming?! Your soup's getting cold!
Martin: Yes we're coming, one moment!
Junkee: I don't know. . . . But I think we need to go save them.
Yoda: No, stay here, you must!
Junkee: Ummm.
Martin: Uhhh.
Junkee: What—What is that?
Martin: I don't know. It looks like some sort of. . . puppet.
Yoda: Mmm, leave now and save them you could. . . But take away everything they have fought for, you will.
Junkee: Look, he's even got a hand coming up from the ground and shoved up his—
Drucifer (from far away): Hey guys, are you still coming?!
Martin: Will you please shut up please?
Drucifer: (from far away) Oh bite me!
Pete: (from far away) ROAR!
Drucifer (from far away): No not you! Back, heathen! Back!
Junkee: What do you think we should do with it?
Yoda: Do or do not. There is no try.
Martin: He's speaking in some sort of code. I'm going to try to communicate with it. Ahem. Aht-way is your ame-nay? My ame-nay is artin-may.
Yoda: Hmm. I sense fear in you. . . .
Junkee: Martin hit it with your mop.
Martin: I'm one step ahead of you Doc.
Yoda: No!
[Bonk!]
Yoda: [scream! . . . The screaming fades as it flies far away]
Junkee: Well I'm glad that's all over with.
FADE TO
[Dark Janitor music]
Admiral Evilgrinch: My Lord, Resistance star cruisers are heading in our direction, right now!
Dark Janitor: Pfft, it was to be expected Admiral. That silly General Rancor is always trying to spoil my plans. [sigh] Send infantry down to Denmarkia now, fortify positions and all that sort of stuff. We will be ready for them when they get here.
Admiral Evilgrinch: Yes my Lord!
[Evilgrinch walks away fast, the door opening and closing as he leaves]
Dark Janitor: Martin you surprise even me. I did not expect that you would last even this long. But, no matter. In fact in a few moments you won't even be matter. The end draws near, and I will be the one who comes out the victor. . . Admiral Evilgrinch.
[door opens and Evilgrinch hurries back in]
Admiral Evilgrinch: Yes my Lord?!
Dark Janitor: Ready my ship as well. I wouldn't miss this for the world. . . . . Not for any world. . . . Not even for a nice world, one that you really wouldn't want to miss. . . . . Just--just ready my ship, right.
Admiral Evilgrinch: Yes my Lord.
FADE TO
[footsteps over rock as the heroes hike up Mount Broom]
Junkee: (fatigued) Oh. Oh God!
Pete: Growlll. (drawn out, lazy, mumbling growl)
Junkee: (deep breath) Slow and steady (long exhale of breath) wins the race. . . Just keep breathing (deep breath). . . and don't (long exhale of breath) . . . look down.
Pete: Growwwwl.
Drucifer: Are we at the top yet?
Martin: (almost out of breath) No Drucifer.
Junkee: Don't look, that's the main thing, man. (deep breath) Don't look down.
Longsword: Yarr, ye naught be escared of heights now are ye?
Junkee: Shut up, don't talk to me.
Drucifer: Are we near the top yet?
Martin: Drucifer, if you don't stop bothering me I'll turn you into a dandelion.
[loud sound of a big spaceship flying low over head]
Drucifer: Ooo. De plane, de plane!
[spaceship flies past]
Longsword: Yarrr, Imperial dropships.
Pete: Growl.
Martin: The Dark Janitor must have known we were coming here. Inside those ships are hundreds of troops, and they've all come here to stop us.
Longsword: Arr, we be outnumbered.
Junkee: No really? Thanks for that brilliant bit of insight, Captain Obvious. . . . Martin, any chance we can reach the top before they get to us?
Martin: I don't know—
Longsword: Don't worry maties, the Black Widow has special security perimeter thingies. If any Imperial scalawags try to get past it, the Widow will blow them to smithereens, hahaharharhar!
Pete: Roar!
[EXPLOSION is heard from far off]
Pete: Grrr?
Longsword: Nooooo! The Black Widow. . . she got. . . she went. . . she. . .
Drucifer: POOSH!
Junkee: Hahaha. . . oh, that's good.
Martin: Come on everybody we have to hurry. We need to get to the mountaintop now.
FADE TO
[on a ship, flying through space]
General Rancor: The Cheese Star, it's so--it's so big!
Yvonne: Wow. . . It is quite impressive from the outside.
General Rancor: Holy moses, that's a lot of cheese. What do ya think that is? It think that's gouda.
Vader: Yeah sure. Ooo, ahh, that's how it always starts. Then later there's running and then screaming. . .
General Rancor: Look, they're sending forces down in dropships to Denmarkia to stop your friends.
Vader: The Cheese Star must be destroyed. It's our only hope.
Yvonne: Revenge! Woo!
General Rancor: Ayo ayo! (beep of radio communicator) Mark, come in.
Mark (over radio): Yes, General, sir?
General Rancor: Lead your squadron in and take out that space station.
Mark (over radio): Cheers mate, all right!
[beep as radio communication ends]
Yvonne: And what will we do?
General Rancor: We will be going to Denmarkia with the rest of the troops.
Vader: Time to kick some ass!
General Rancor: Oh la wenga!
Yvonne: Yeah! . . Uh . . la weenie. . . . Is that right?
General Rancor: Yes, perfect! [snickers quietly to himself]
FADE TO
[lots of spaceships flying through space]
Mark: There she is mates, the Cheese Star in all her glory.
Pilot #1 (over radio): Why is every single spaceship female?
Mark: Shut up you. Kamikaze Squadron, move into V Formation!
Pilot #2 (over radio): So . . . much. . . cheese. So. . . hungry!
Mark: Control yourself!. . . All right gentleman! Let's do what we came here to do!
[ships all accelerate]
Pilot #1: Come to poppa!
[BOOM! loud explosion]
Pilot#2: Whee!!!
[BOOM another loud explosion]
Mark: KAMIKAZEEEEE!!!!
[BOOM!]
FADE TO
[on a spaceship. In the distance we hear lasers and explosions. Maybe now and then a laser could strike the ship, we hear a muffled bang, and the sound of the ship waves slightly as it shakes]
JPfan4life: (quietly but sternly) Hey, wake up.
Dark Hunter: (groggily) Where. . . where am I? Ohhhh a spaceship. . . Who are all of you people?
JPfan4life: We're Resistance soldiers, just like you. And you have been selected with the honor of being on the frontline.
Dark Hunter: (groggily) Oh. . . . soldiers, cool. Where are we going?
JPfan4life: Well, we're going to war.
Dark Hunter: (groggily) War? . . . (and now suddenly alarmed and wide awake) War?! What?! No, this is wrong!
JPfan4life: Sit down!
Dark Hunter: No! I want my mommy!
Carnotaur3: You will do what the Commander instructed, or you will face the consequences. [humming sound as lasers begin to charge]
Dark Hunter: AH! YOU!
[lasers from outside are getting progressively louder now, and the ship is being hit more often]
[siren sound thingy]
Jpfan4life: We're landing now. Everybody, lock and load!
Dark Hunter: AH!
FADE TO
[walking up Mount Broom]
[in the distance, we hear a heated battle with explosions and lasers everywhere]
Longsword: Resistance fighters, dar, we be saved maties!
Pete: Growlllll!
Drucifer: Haha!
Martin: Good. Then it seems we have nothing to worry about now!
Dino_Dude: Wrongo mates!
Junkee: You just had to say that, didn't you Martin?
Martin: Sorry. . .
Dino_Dude: All right you drongos, line em' up over there, or I'm. . . I'm gonna shoot ya in the freckle!
Junkee: I think he's bluffing. I think he's bluffing!
[laser blast!]
Drucifer: Ow my foot! Owww.
Junkee: Okay maybe he's not.
Dino_Dude: Don't worry about him, he'll be apples. Now. I'll be having that mop.
Martin: Oh no you will not. What is your name lad?
Dino_Dude: Dino Dude. . . Why?
Junkee: Where have I heard that name before?
Drucifer: Wasn't he a patient of yours?
Junkee: Uhh, no, no, that couldn't be it.
Martin: He looks mean. If he was your patient, you did a bad job of helping him!
Dino_Dude: Oh just hand over the mop ya fruit loop, before I shoot someone!
Longsword: Yarr, stop pointing that thing at me.
Pete: Roarrr!
Martin: I don't believe you.
Dino_Dude: Oh. You don't eh?
Martin: No I don't.
Longsword: Arrr, believe him! Believe him!
[laser blast]
Longsword: Oof! Argh! Ye shot me trigger finger, arrr ya scalawag!
Junkee: I think if we rush him now, we can take him.
Dino_Dude: What's that you say ya Yank?!
Junkee: Who me? You talking to me? Are you talking to me? You must be talking to me because I'm the only one here.
Martin: (almost happily) We're here, too, Junkee.
Junkee: Hush, you're ruining my hero moment.
Martin: Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Dino_Dude: All right you figjam listen up—
Junkee: What—what did you call me? That's pretty big talk for someone like you that hides their face behind a mask. . .
Dino_Dude: No talking!
[laser blast!]
Junkee: Ah!
Drucifer: So much for the hero moment, heheha!
Martin: Drucifer, shhh!
[loud sound of engines as a ship suddenly flies in and hovers close overhead]
Dino_Dude: What the blue devil?
[ship lands. . . . landing ramp lowers and people walk out]
Yvonne: (very confident sounding) Well, see, I leave you guys alone for less than a day and you're already in trouble. It looks like I came here just in time.
Junkee: (relieved) Yvonne! . . . Vader! . . . (angry) Where the hell have you two been?
Vader: We took a. . . wrong turn.
Junkee: Oh. . . Who are you then?
General Rancor: My name is General Rancor, but you can call me General Rancor, sir. Ayo ayo!
Drucifer: It's so good to see you guys! Look, my foot is red and stuff!
Yvonne: Ooo, let me see. Oh! Ewwwww!
Dino_Dude: (clears throat) Ahem!
Junkee: Oh. . . I'm sorry, I forgot you were there.
Dino_Dude: Grrrr.
Junkee: Yes well, Yvonne, Vader, say hello to our new friend. He was just leaving though, so go ahead and say good bye too!
Yvonne: Where are you from? I like your accent.
Dino_Dude: Uhhh.
Junkee: He didn't even say a complete word to you—
Yvonne: Shut up!
Drucifer: (singing) Do you come from the land down under? Where women glow and men plunder? Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder? You better run, you better take cover! . . . Oo yeah!
Dino_Dude: Me mum used to sing me that song when I was a wee ankle biter!
Vader: Well hello newbie. . . . now go away dipweed, you're taking up my space!
Junkee: Yes, you may go now.
Dino_Dude: Oh no, no, no! I came for the Mop! Why I came for the Mop, I don't really know. But I want it! Give it to me and then I'll go!
Drucifer: What if I gave you a dollar, would you go?
Dino_Dude: Bloody hell, of course not! No!
[pause]
Martin: What about a pound?
Longsword: Or a golden trugget? Darrr.
Pete: Grrrr!
Dino_Dude: Listen! Give me the Mop now or I'm going to start shooting off ya heads. Got it?
Drucifer: He's going to shoot me next, I know it! He hates me! Someone hold me!
Yvonne: Get away from me!
Vader: (whisper) Hey dad, give me that tire.
General Rancor: Here ya go.
[bouncy bouncy sound of tire]
Dino_Dude: Hey, what are you doing with that?
Vader: Well that depends on one thing. . . . Are ya feeling lucky? Punk!
Dino_Dude: Ummm.
Vader: Well, do ya?
Dino_Dude: I don't know!
Vader: So what do you want to do? Your call.
Dino_Dude: Bloody ripper! . . . Rightyo, on the count of three, draw.
Vader: Okay.
Dino_Dude: One. . . . [music tensing up now]. . . Two. . .
Vader: Tak taki!
Dino_Dude: What the?—
[bounce! THUMP sound as tire is shoved over Dino_Dude's head and over his shoulders, to become stuck at his midsection]
Dino_Dude: What the? What'd you put the tire on me for? You cheated! Not fair you drongo, I'm gonna rip your gizzard out for this!
Vader: Not with your hands you won't.
Dino_Dude: (sarcastic laughing) Ah ha . .ah hahaha. Now really, get me out of this. Now.
Martin: Hmm. Do you promise to be nice?
Dino_Dude: Uhh yep.
Martin: Cross your heart and hope to die?
Dino_Dude: Yes, yes! Just get this bloody thing off of me!
Martin: Heh, I don't believe you.
Longsword: Yarr! Push him off the plank!
Yvonne: NO! He has an accent! Almost like Sammy's ACCENT!
Dino_Dude: Yes, I have an accent! Watch, I'll even sing you a song! . . . Ahem. . . (break into song! To the tune of MacArthur Park) Saint Archer Park is alarming in the dark. All the harsh bells are uh, rolling round! Someone left the phone off the hook! Well I don't think I can take it! The infuriating beep—
Yvonne: All right fine, someone push him off the cliff. I can't take it anymore!
Junkee: Thank you!
Longsword: Yarr, it was nice knowing ya! . . .Arr. Not really.
Pete: Growls.
[bump!]
Dino_Dude: Oh no! Whoa! WHOA! AHHH! [bounce! And now, from this point on, each scream or bounce gets quieter as he's taking his tumble] OOF! AH! [bounce!] GAH! [bounce!] DEAR GOD! [bounce!] ROOT! [bounce] Aghhhhhhhhhh! [fade to nothing]
[Martin claps softly]
Martin: Good show chaps! . . . Right, okay. Now, off we go!
Yvonne: Aww, we have to walk up hill?
General Rancor: It's not that bad! At least we're not starting at the bottom like these idiots! Uh, no offense.
Drucifer: None taken!
Junkee: Hey Yvonne, didn't you like used to date a guy named Dino_Dude?
Yvonne: No, that was my brother.
Junkee: Oh. Close enough.
Yvonne: Why?
Junkee: Well we just pushed him off a cliff.
Yvonne: Oh. . . . Woohoohoo yeah!!
FADE TO
[laser blasts and explosions are going off everywhere. A few people screaming maybe. It sounds like war! And war is hell, so it sounds like that, too!]
Dark Hunter: [screaming incomprehensible things, mainly gibberish. Maybe he screams he wants his mother, or maybe he confesses things, in an unintelligible way, that he did wrong in his life. Fact is, I don't know, but he's screaming and scared! Oh, and stationary, like in a pit or whatever]
[sounds of lasers and explosions abruptly end]
Dark Hunter: Ahh-ah-AHHHHH! Ahhhhhhhh! AH!
Jpfan4life: (harsh whisper) Quiet!
Dark Hunter: We are going to DIE! AHHHH!
Jpfan4life: Dark Hunter, be quiet right now, that is an order!
Dark Hunter: No! AHHHHHH!
Carnotaur3: Would Sir be so kind to shut his mouth before I shoot it off?
Dark Hunter: . . . Okay.
Jpfan4life: I can't seem to get in contact with anybody from Bravo group.
Dark Hunter: That's because they're all DEAD!
[musical interlude]
Carnotaur3: My censor readings show that the nimrod is correct. The war is over.
Dark Hunter: Ha! . . . I mean. . . they fought valiantly, and stuff. Poor blokes!
Carnotaur3: But not only that.
Jpfan4life: What is it C3?
Carnotaur3: I register no living persons on the battlefield. We are the three sole survivors.
Dark Hunter: Well if that's not good karma, I don't know what is!
Jpfan4life: That is unfortunate they lost their lives, but I'm happy we made it. Well, I'm happy you made it C3.
Dark Hunter: Oh come on, you know you love me.
Carnotaur3: It is amazing that someone as stupid as yourself lived through this.
Dark Hunter: Be careful or I'll control, alt, delete you!
Carnotaur3: [sighs] We should get back to the ship now Commander.
Jpfan4life: Okay, follow me.
[the three begin walking away, over the barren battlefield]
[BANG gunshot!]
Jpfan4life: Get down!
Carnotaur3: Commander?
Jpfan4life: Oh no. . .
Carnotaur3: I may require. . . maintenance. Guhh. [falls down in a heap of metal and bolts] (can the "Guhh" or however you decide to say it, sound even more robotic and electronic? Kind of like, after being shot, he's losing power and stuff. And from this point on, he sounds that way still)
Jpfan4life: Carnotaur3! [runs over to him]
[sparks!]
Dark Hunter: He's such a brave little toaster. Hold on, don't follow the light!
Carnotaur3: I can't [bzzt! Spark] . . . I can't feel my toes.
Dark Hunter: Come on, let's carry him!
Jpfan4life: No, he's too heavy. C3, I'm going to try to fix you.
Carnotaur3: No [spark!] too late. Go now, Commander, save yourself.
[BANG gunshot!]
Jpfan4life: AH! [falls over]
Carnotaur3: Hmm, too late for that I guess. [spark!]
Dark Hunter: Will everybody please stop getting shot?!
Jpfan4life: Dark Hunter, I'm hit in the leg, it's not bad. I can still walk, but you need to help me.
[BANG gunshot!]
Jpfan4life: Ow! My other leg!
Dark Hunter: Dammit! Who is shooting at us?!
[theme music to reveal who is shooting at them]
Darth Chicken (from far away): Hi guys!
Dark Hunter: Uh ohhhhhh.
FADE TO CREDITS
Credits: The Adventures of Dr. Junkee 3 are written and conceived by Kyle Warner. Music and sound production by Martin Randle. All voices by Martin Randle, Kyle Warner, and Yvonne Bartha. Characters based on forum members of www dot dansjp3page dot com. Special Guest stars Adam Pratt as Dino_Dude and Christina Frausini as Jpfan4life.
FADE TO
Dan: Hey Bob, I've found the pigeon!
Bob: It's a penguin, Dan.
Dan: Same thing! I will now imitate its call and try to lure it closer.
Bob: This should be good.
Dan: Ahem. . . Craw! Ahem. Ca-raw!
Penguin: CRAW?
Dan: It's working! . . . It's coming closer!
Penguin: CRAW!!!!
Dan: Ow! It's attacking my leg. Oh! Oh! Get off!
[flap of wings as penguin flies away]
Dan: That overgrown Christmas dinner took my other shoe!
Bob: I think we've all learned a valuable lesson today. . . .
Dan: What's that?
Bob: You're an idiot.
Dan: Oh. . . . You know, I miss that bird already. . .
Bob: Oy. . .
END EPISODE
Thanks everybody! All that remains now is the last episode. Chances are it won't be released after the normal two week period. When will it be released? I . . don't really know. Soonish! But anyway! Thanks for listening, we hope you liked it, and leave a comment please! Thanks. :)
4/19/2004 12:39:54 PM
(Updated: 4/19/2004 12:40:18 PM)
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