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Dr. Junkee III Loonies In Space (Part 7)
By JPJunkee
Another week, another episode. April Fool's Day even! How appropriate, I guess. But anywho, here is episode 7. We hope you enjoy! Leave a comment afterwards. Thanks! :)
Characters played by Martin Randle:
Martin Randle
Dark Hunter
General Rancor
Dark Janitor
Carnotaur3
Darial Longsword
Mark
Dan
Characters played by Kyle Warner:
Dr. Junkee
Vader
Drucifer
Evilgrinch
Host
Bob
Characters played by Yvonne:
Yvonne
Yoda/Puppet
Computer Voice
Character played by Adam Pratt:
Dino_Dude
Character played by Shawn Bartha:
Carna
Character played by Christina Frausini:
Jpfan4life
And here is the script to go along with the episode.
FADE IN
[shuffling through papers]
Dan: Can you believe this Bob?
Bob: What is it?
Dan: One of the characters in the story is threatening to sue us for trademark infringement.
Bob: Who is it? Let's kill him!
Dan: They say that unless we make it clear that the name is trademark protected and copyrighted, we will get sued one million dollars.
Bob: You're paying it, not me.
Dan: No. . . . I may have an idea. . .
[theme song]
FADE TO
[Dino_Dude theme]
Dark Janitor: Captain Evilgrinch, meet our new secret weapon. . . . Dino_Dude.
Dino_Dude: Right cobber. I'm ready to bounce around the dills and get down to bizzo.
Evilgrinch: What. . . is he exactly?
Dark Janitor: A genetically engineered killing machine.
Dino_Dude: Aye. Been one since I was a wee ankle biter sitting around the bush telly n' smacking the dunny budgies off my avos.
Evilgrinch: Pardon?
Dark Janitor: It doesn't matter what he said. The point is, Dino_Dude here will be helping us reclaim the Mop.
Evilgrinch: I still don't see the grand importance of the Mop--
Dark Janitor: Oh! Will you ever shut up? We don't want to hear your opinion. Do we Dino_Dude? No, we don't.
Dino_Dude: Uhh. What Mop's this?!
Dark Janitor: Have you not been paying attention?
[silence]
Dark Janitor: The Mop. The Mop we've been searching for!
[silence]
Dark Janitor: Didn't you listen to the last six episodes?
Dino_Dude: Ohhh, I umm, I've been meaning to do that, right. Guess I made a bit of a blue there! But no worries bloke! I'll catch on to the whole thing flicking soon, I reckon.
Dark Janitor: Well, your job shouldn't be too difficult. All you have to do is just kill people. Ahahahaha.
Dino_Dude: I got my cozzies a ready and me exy blasters are itching for a twitching!
Evilgrinch: Dark Janitor, permission to speak freely, my Lord.
Dark Janitor: Yes?
Evilgrinch: I don't trust this man.
Dino_Dude: Oh! Don't trust me eh? Don't tempt me you figjam or I'll stick this blaster up your freckle and blow your ass out of your nostrils!
Evilgrinch: Ewww.
Dark Janitor: Enough of this. We will work together until I say you're allowed to kill each other. Understood?
Evilgrinch: Yes sir.
Dino_Dude: Pig's ass!!
Dark Janitor: Dino_Dude. . .
Dino_Dude: Oh fine. But if this polly of a bloodsucking mozzie crosses me again, or even so much as yabbers in my direction, I'll pour kero in his ear, light him up, and make him my car's new hood ornament.
Evilgrinch: Well. . . let's hope it doesn't come to that.
Dark Janitor: Evilgrinch, order all fleets to Denmarkia now.
Evilgrinch: Yes, my Lord!
[Evilgrinch walks away]
Dark Janitor: And Dino_Dude, I want you to take your personal ship and go to Denmarkia ahead of us. I want you to recapture the Mop before we get there.
Dino_Dude: Right!
FADE TO
[walking over sand. Walking ends. The sounds of lots of people doing lots of things can be heard in the background]
Jpfan4life: Mark, go get the General now.
Mark: Yes, Commander.
[Mark walks away]
Vader: I can't do this.
[Vader starts walking the opposite direction]
Yvonne: Wait, Vader, where are you going?
[Vader stops]
Vader: My father and I have a bad history. I don't want to see him.
Yvonne: Didn't you see him on Isla Nublar?
Vader: Well, yeah.
Yvonne: And didn’t you see him transform into a rabbit?
Vader: Well, yeah.
Yvonne: You didn't seem so distressed when you saw him then.
Vader: Yeah, but this is different.
Yvonne: How so?
Vader: I don't know it just is. Commander Jpfan4life, I'm sorry, but I have go.
General Rancor: And where would you go Vader? Run away to the circus like the first time? Or perhaps to work as a lawyer for that Junkee punk like last time? Always running away from your problems, aren't you Vader? You're nothing but a—
Vader: It is so important to your future that you do not finish that sentence.
General Rancor: Dully noted. . . . And now Vader, won't you introduce me to your friend?
Yvonne: My name's Yvonne. I want revenge!
General Rancor: Oh la wenga. . . . Revenge, eh? We all want revenge here. I'm General Rancor, leader of the Irresistible Resistance.
Yvonne: Heh, clever name.
General Rancor: Ah, I can see your friend is smarter than you are Vader. Perhaps some of her intelligence may carry over to you.
Vader: Do you always have to make a scene Dad?
General Rancor: Well, yes. It's what I do. Ayo ayo.
Vader: Well I'm right here, Dad. So go ahead, say what's on your primitive little mind.
General Rancor: I will ban you. . .
Vader: Oh yeah? Well come on, the gloves are off, bring it, man!
Yvonne: Is this going to go on much longer? Because if it is, could you maybe pause for a second? I'd really like to get some popcorn and maybe a Pepsi to go with it. Yeah. . .
Jpfan4life: What is Pepsi?
Yvonne: You're kidding.
Jpfan4life: Uh, no.
Yvonne: Pepsi. It's a cola flavored drink ..... tastes really good, gives you a healthy buzz.
Jpfan4life: Huh.
Yvonne: You don't have it on this planet?
Jpfan4life: I'm going to go with no.
Yvonne: Oh my God. . . Ohhh my God. . . Oh my God. . . Oh my God!
[Yvonne faints and falls onto the ground]
General Rancor: Ouch. Is she going to be okay?
Vader: Actually falls don't seem to faze her much anymore.
Jpfan4life: General, I brought these two here because I thought they may be Imperial spies.
General Rancor: Jpfan, get real. . . Working for the Empire? I refuse to believe it. No, my son may be as dumb as a doorknob, but he's not that dumb.
Jpfan4life: Then why were you out in the middle of the desert, Vader?
General Rancor: Hmm. Good question. Yeah? Are you working for the Empire?
Vader: No, we're fighting against the Dark Janitor. But we got lost. . . . Or something like that anyway.
General Rancor: The Dark Janitor? I am intrigued! Do you have any information that might be useful?
Vader: You know. . . I just might.
FADE TO
Junkee: So, we meet again.
Carna: Wa! Balachuka ramba! . . Me kill Junkee!
Junkee: I don't care how you got on this ship, but it's time for you to go.
Carna: Hehehe!
Junkee: Okay guys, let's get him!
[pause]
Junkee: Guys?. . . Umm, guys?
[pause]
Junkee: Oh you've got to be kidding me.
Carna: Carna kill Junkee! Rar!
Junkee: Ah!
[loud sound as Junkee is tackled onto the ground]
FADE TO
Dark Hunter: Owwww. . . .Oh. What happened? Oh my face! Oooo it burns! My beautiful face it burns!
[pop!]
Host: Silence!
Dark Hunter: Ooo! It's the toothfairy!
Host: Why does everybody think that?
Yoda: Mmm, because nobody likes you, it is.
Dark Hunter: Green puppet! What's going on here? Who's the blue see-through man? Ooo, my tire!
[quick bouncing sound of tire]
Dark Hunter: Was he coming to steal it from me?!
Yoda: Calm yourself, you must.
Dark Hunter: What is he doing here?
Host: I come here with a message.
Dark Hunter: Did I win?!
Host: Huh?
Dark Hunter: I've never won anything. This comes as such a shock!
Host: What is he talking about?
Yoda: I don't know, I don't.
Host: Anyway! . . . . A danger approaches you from the west.
Dark Hunter: Danger?!
Host: It should be reaching you right about. . . . now.
Canotaur3: Greetings, I am Carnotaur3, human/cyborg relations.
Dark Hunter: Ah! Help me Puppet and odd see-through person, it's the tinman!
Yoda: Go now, we must.
[Yoda begins walking away]
Host: Farewell!
[popping sound]
Dark Hunter: Wait! Come back! . . . . Ohhh.
Carnotaur3: Are you in need of any assistance?
Dark Hunter: You – you don't remember me?
Carnotaur3: Should I sir? My memory has been on the fritz lately. I got it from PC World. I do apologize.
Dark Hunter: So you mean you don't remember me doing. . . this?!
[bong! Dark Hunter punches Carnotaur3's metal body]
Dark Hunter: OW!
Carnotaur3: Oh yes. You! The thin-witted one.
Dark Hunter: Ah ha! That's right! I am the shizzo!
[laser blast]
Dark Hunter: Ooof!
[Dark Hunter lands in the sand]
Dark Hunter: Owww. . . You shot me!
Carnotaur3: I do apologize.
Dark Hunter: Your mum's a bear!
[pause]
Carnotaur3: That wasn't very nice.
Dark Hunter: I'm sorry.
[laser blast]
Dark Hunter: Ooof ow! . . . . . I'm not dead yet.
FADE TO
[sound of Junkee and Carna fighting from down at the opposite end of a corridor. Things in the cargo hold topple over and break]
Drucifer: Shouldn't you like . . . . go and help the Doc?
Martin: No, no, he needs his exercise.
Longsword: Yar, the little blue creature's putting up a good fight!
Martin: Great scott! Captain Longsword, what are you doing here? Who's flying the ship?
Longsword: Arrr, that'd be Pete!
Drucifer: Pete knows how to fly?
Longsword: Well I certainly hope so, harhar!
Martin: Longsword, I want you to go back to the cockpit. We should be reaching Denmarkia soon. Help Pete land the ship.
Longsword: Aye!
[Longsword walks away]
Martin: And Drucifer—
[Ding of a bell!]
Computer voice: Trademark protected!
Drucifer: What was that?
Martin: I don't know, Drucifer—
[ding of a bell!]
Computer voice: Trademark protected!
Drucifer: I'm freaking out. . . .
Martin: I don't understand it. Where could that voice be coming from? Drucifer, try and—
[ding of a bell!]
Computer voice: Trademark protected!
Drucifer: Martin, I'm scared. But don't tell the other guys, okay? I don't think they'd understand. I mean, I'm hearing voices in the back of my head. Don't tell the Doc! I don't need the medicines, I really don't, just sleep, just sleep---
[slap]
Martin: Shut up.
Drucifer: You got it!
Martin: It seems to be happening every time I say your name. . . . . Drucifer.
[ding of a bell!]
Computer voice: Trademark protected!
Drucifer: Oh now it's just getting annoying!
Junkee (from down the hall): Oh you bit me! You little bugger!
Carna (from down the hall): Kill Junkee! Wakalalazoom!
Martin: Maybe we should help him out.
Junkee (from down the hall): Come on, bring it on!
[Martin and Drucifer start walking down the hall towards the fight]
Junkee: Ah? . . . Ahaha!
Carna: Huh? No, no, no, no!
Drucifer: Uh. . . oh. . . .
Martin: What?
Drucifer: Is he about to do what I think he's about to do? Because if he is. . . . .
Martin: What are you talking about?
Drucifer: Well. . .
Martin: Wait. . . Oh my. No, no, no Junkee, don't! No! No, don't!
Junkee: Time to go for a little trip out into space little blue creature dude!
Carna: Kazaam! My name's Carna!
Junkee: Yeah whatever.
[Carna is thrown out a glass window. The glass shatters as Carna is sucked out into space]
Carna: Ahhhhhhh!
[loud winds as the broken window causes a vacuum in the ship]
Martin: (over howling winds) Hold onto something!
Drucifer: Oooo, what's this button do?
[loud sound as the window is sealed shut. Howling winds stop]
Junkee: Hmm. Sorry about that. . . . At least I got rid of the pest though, right? Heh. So, all smiles? Heh.
Martin: Don't ever do that again.
Junkee: Yeah, good thinking.
Longsword: (from far away) Hey maties! You may want to come up here! We're approaching Denmarkia now!
Martin: And so it begins. . . .
Drucifer: It kind of began a long time ago.
Martin: Shut up Drucifer.
[ding of a bell!]
Computer voice: Trademark protected!
Junkee: What the hell was that?
Martin: Don't ask. . .
FADE TO
Yvonne: Ohh. . . I feel so dizzy. . . .
Vader: Good to see you awake again. You had us worried—
Yvonne: GAH!
Vader: Sorry, sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.
Yvonne: Why are you here? Where is here? This place is so white. Am I in heaven? Did I die?
General Rancor: Is she okay?
Yvonne: I want Pepsi!
Vader: She's kind of always like this actually.
Yvonne: It's your Daddy. Awwww, you guys were fighting! What did I miss? I want details, Vader! Details!
General Rancor: Vader's told me about your story and how the Dark Janitor killed your Sammy.
Yvonne: (sad) Oh, don't remind me! I have cried and cried, trying to forget.
General Rancor: Yes well, Vader told me that the Cheese Star is moving towards Denmarkia. Is this true?
Yvonne: Yep. Is it also true there's no such thing as Pepsi here?
General Rancor: . . . . Well anyway, I've decided to act on your word. We are going to cut off the Imperial fleet at Denmarkia. Make our last stand.
Yvonne: What does this mean exactly?
Vader: You must have hit your head harder than I thought.
General Rancor: It means we're going to make our last stand! Oh la wenga!
Yvonne: Good old fashioned revenge! Yeah!
Vader: Precisely. So get out of bed and follow me. Mark here is going to lead us to my Dad's ship that will take us to Denmarkia's surface.
General Rancor: I'll meet up with you two in a moment.
[General Rancor walks away]
Mark: Right this way, please.
[Vader, Yvonne, and Mark begin walking down a hall]
Yvonne: So uhh Mark, what is your position in the army?
Mark: Me? I'm the leader of the Kamikaze Squadron.
Vader: Kamikaze Squadron?
Mark: Oh yes. Well we ran out of bullets and missiles about five years ago.
Vader: Ohhh I've got a bad feeling about this.
FADE TO
[Dino_Dude theme]
[ship soars overhead]
Dino_Dude (into radio): My Lord, Martin Randle's ship is landing now.
Dark Janitor (over radio): Excellent. . . . Kill them all. They will be no match for you.
Dino_Dude: Bloody ripper! I'll make quick work of them.
FADE TO
General Rancor: Yes, what is it Jpfan?
Jpfan4life: Look what Carnotaur3 brought us.
[Dark Hunter grumbles as he struggles]
Dark Hunter: Mmmm! Let me go! I'm gonna get you tinman.
General Rancor: Hmm. Even with his severe injuries he still wants to fight.
Dark Hunter: Let me go!
General Rancor: He is a true warrior! Suit him up and make sure he gets a place on the front lines.
Jpfan4life: Yes sir.
Carnotaur3: General Rancor sir, he was carrying this.
[bounce of tire]
General Rancor: A tire. . . . hmmm. Most intriguing. Load it onto my ship and prepare to leave. . . . We're going to war.
FADE TO CREDITS
Credits: The Adventures of Dr. Junkee 3 were written and conceived by Kyle Warner. Music and sound production was by Martin Randle. All voices by Martin Randle, Kyle Warner, and Yvonne Bartha. Characters based on forum members of www dot dansjp3page dot com. Special Guest stars Adam Pratt as Dino_Dude; Shawn Bartha as Carna; and Christina Frausini as Jpfan4life.
FADE TO
Dan: Bob! Come here! I have solved our lawsuit problems!
Bob: Oh good! How, Dan?
[Dan wheels in a wagon with something covered under a black curtain]
Bob: What's under the curtain? A flamethrower?
Dan: THIS!
[Dan removes the curtain]
Penguin: CRAW!
Bob: Umm, that's a penguin, Dan.
Dan: I know! Isn't it ingenious?
Bob: No.
Dan: Come on Bob! It can take the place of Drucifer
[ding of bell!]
Computer Voice: Trademark protected!
Bob: It can't even talk.
Dan: Sure it can! [Dan turns to bird] Say something!
Penguin: CRAW!
Dan: Brilliant! The listeners won't even notice a difference between the two!
Bob: I had to endure that "Paul McCartney" ..... um, singer. So now I get to veto your idea! The real Drucifer [ding! Computer voice is about to talk, when Bob kills it] stays.
Dan: Ohhh. . . . Then what am I supposed to do with the penguin?
Bob: Put it back underneath the curtain or put it in your bathtub, I don't care. Now call his lawyer and tell him we're gonna kill em!
Penguin: CRAW!
END EPISODE
And so that is the end of episode 7. Well, we hoped you liked it! Leave a comment if ya would, it's much appreciated. We're really nearing the end now with episode 7. . . just two left after this! Seems like we've been doing this forever now, really. Anyway, the next episode should be posted on the 15th, if all goes well. Hope to see ya then! Thanks again. :)
4/1/2004 2:13:40 AM
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