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Dr. Junkee 2 Loonies United (part 6)
By JPJunkee
WITH A KRYPTONITE CROSS I COULD KEEP
BACK BOTH VAMPIRES AND SUPERMAN!
Dr. Junkee and Vader walked in complete silence. Deep thoughts occupied Junkee's mind. Had he seen the Prophet Penguin in his dreams? As far as he knew, the penguin was dead. The dreams had seemed so real though. Was it really just a dream? Or was it. . . hmmmmm.
And he thought he had seen the Gorblat on the flower. But it was dead, too. Wasn't it? Hmmm. These visions had a meaning, that he was certain. Maybe--
A loud barking roar behind him caught him off guard. Vader spun on his heels, then muttered with his eyes wide, "Oh shit."
Junkee heard a slow deep growling as he hesitantly turned around.
Standing there behind them was a single motionless velociraptor. The raptor moved its eyes up and down, examining its foes.
Vader sighed, "It wants the eggs, otherwise we'd be dead already."
"But we ate the eggs for breakfast," Junkee said. The raptor's mouth slowly opened and closed as it snarled at them.
"Well, that sort of complicates things," Vader said.
The raptor crouched lower, spreading its arms as it prepared to pounce.
Junkee groaned, "This cannot end well."
"I have an idea," Vader said, stepping towards the raptor, and placing his brass knuckles over his fist.
"Please don't do what I think you're about to---"
"Tak taki!" Vader screamed jumping at the raptor with his arms held out in front of him. The raptor in turn leapt at him, its long deadly claws on its feet pointed out like knives searching for skin to shred. The two combatants hit in mid air and tumbled onto the ground. Vader flipped the raptor's body over on the ground, and pressed its snout into the mud as he began to pummel the back of its head with the brass knuckles on his other hand.
Junkee stood by with his mouth open in awe.
The raptor screamed and then finally used its tail to bat Vader away. Springing to its feet, the raptor moved to a safe distance. Then it rose its head into the air and barked three times.
"What the hell is it doing?" Vader asked, walking closer to Junkee.
Suddenly, two other raptors appeared next to the first raptor.
"Shizzle dawg," one of the new raptors said.
"Epin sizzo, a merry deri killzo, ya dig?" the first raptor asked.
"De dig," the other raptors said in unison.
Junkee and Vader stared at the three raptors as they continued their conversation amongst themselves.
"They're talking to each other," Junkee said.
"How-- how do you consider that talking?" Vader asked.
The raptors all turned to Junkee and Vader, then one of them said, "U need the 411 to nizzle my fizzle fo snizzle dawgs! Unless U R just parking the shiznit in da backyard, foo!"
"What did you say?" Junkee asked the raptor.
"Are you trying to communicate with these things?"
"Well, might as well, right?"
"Up in herez my bros rool de h00d," the first raptor said. "Yeh shizzle ass shizzit is grass for sempin fin mota foya."
"What'd you just call my mother?!" Vader roared.
The raptors all looked at each other. They whispered to each other in their secret little language.
"That's it, I'm not taking this shit anymore," Vader said, stepping forward and punching one of the raptors in the eye. There was a sickening popping noise, then the raptor fell to the ground dead. The other two raptors looked down at their fallen brother, then looked up at Vader, their eyes glowing red.
"Oh shit."
"What-- what do we do now?" Junkee asked.
"Running would be a good idea," Vader said, turning around and breaking into a run away from the other two raptors. Junkee quickly followed suit, the two raptors close behind them.
Junkee ran over rocks and roots as the two vicious dinosaurs chased him, he could practically feel their hot breath on the back of his neck. He brushed away a branch, and saw Vader standing motionless in front of him.
"Run!" Junkee said.
"There is no threat anymore."
Junkee stopped running, and noticed that the raptors had indeed ceased their pursuit. "Why did they stop?"
Vader smiled and pointed behind him, where there was a large silver console with a camera on the top.
* * *
Drucifer's chin touched his chest as he began to slowly nod off and fall asleep. His eyes were almost shut, when he heard a voice on one of the monitors.
"Hey, what do you think this thing is?"
Drucifer frowned and turned to the monitor where the voice had come from. It was showing one of the motion detecting cameras, on the south side of the island. On the screen, a man that looked vaguely familiar was pointing at the camera.
Then another man walked into the screen and said, "Looks like a camera of some sort."
"Oh my God," Drucifer muttered. It was Dr. Junkee! He had survived the plane crash?! Impossible! Ludicrous! Absurd!
On the screen, Junkee tapped the camera and said, "Testing, testing, one, two, three. This is Dr. Junkee reporting to you live from the jungles of. . . some jungle."
It was him! And the other one. . . yes, that was Vader! They had both survived the plane crash, uncanny!
"Hey, anyone that is listening to this," Junkee was saying. "Send rescue immediately. Our coordinates here are. . .uhh. . . .umm. . ." Junkee looked up at Vader.
"I don't know where we are," Vader said.
"Well, why did I bring you along then?"
"Because I'm good company, and the readers like me."
"Bullshit."
Drucifer smiled and said, "Mr. Goodbytes?"
Goodbytes took out his cigarette. "Yeah?"
"Activate the S2 Project," Drucifer said.
Goodbytes frowned, "No. You're crazy. You're out of your mind, you're abso-frickin-lutely out of your mind."
"It's a calculated risk we must take to be rid of these vermin! Now activate the S2 Project."
"You better get someone else because I won't do it."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't know what it is!" Goodbytes yelled.
"Oh. Well, umm, it's a project using the S2 model to destroy vermin."
"Ah, okay then," Goodbytes nodded, then pressed the big red S2 button on his keyboard. He smiled, "Done and done."
Drucifer grinned. Finally, Dr. Junkee would be dead!
* * *
Host and AlanGrant5 sat side by side in the front seat of the Explorer as it bounced down the road. They were now going to come back to the garage, as the tour had finally come to an end. Droplets of rain splattered on the windshield.
AlanGrant5 sighed and turned in his seat. "You got any kids?" he asked.
"Me? Oh hell no, I hate kids, can't think of any damn thing good about them."
"Really? Oh, well I love kids."
"No shit?"
"No shit!"
"Wow. . . . . good for you."
"Yeah, I know," AlanGrant5 smiled broadly, obviously pleased with himself. "I'm thinking of kidnapping Bish and RaptorHiss and taking them as my own sons."
Host shook his head, "As hard as it may be to believe this, that may in fact be the most intelligent sentence you have said since I met you."
"Thanks, I've been trying to sound more intelligent."
"It shows," Host said.
"Cool."
They rode in silence for a moment, then Host said, "Say, Yvonne, she's not like. . . .available is she?"
"Why?"
Host stared at him for a moment then held up his hands, "Hey, I'm sorry, you two are smitten with each other?"
"Yeah. . . . What?"
"Smitten. . ."
"Hmm?"
Host stared at AlanGrant5 in disbelief.
* * *
Guilty Spark hid by the side of the road and watched as the headlights of the Explorers came ever closer to his position. He would save them now. The woman, Yvonne, she would surely fall by the will of Martin and the Mop, but Guilty Spark would save these poor souls!
The Explorers were almost upon him now, and he saw his time to act. Jumping out from the side of the road, he stood in the headlights and screamed, "I am the savior! Come with me, and be free from the terror of the Mop!"
The first Explorer struck him in the stomach as it drove over him and pushed him deep into the mud as it drove over.
* * *
Bish frowned and looked out his window, "Did anybody feel that?"
Panos whispered as the Explorers continued to drive down the road, "Maybe it's the power trying to come back on."
Bish and RaptorHiss exchanged glances.
"Wrong scene, dumbass," RaptorHiss said.
Panos' eyes went wide. "Oh shit!" he exclaimed as he picked up the script from underneath his seat and flipped through the pages.
* * *
Amber walked into the dinosaur clinic. Every staff member had left for the night, and Angel was still out driving around somewhere. Now was his chance!
He ran to the first two cells in the little dinosaur hospital. The cells were large, and inside, slept two of the most powerful creatures that had ever walked the earth. Opening the cell doors, he found himself staring face to face with the sleeping giants; tyrannosaurus rex and spinosaurus (neither was pink!).
Acting quickly, he pulled the two jars from his pockets. In each jar, floated font. One jar was yellow font, while the other was green. Then, he walked up to the spinosaurs' snout, and poured the green font in through its right nostril. Once that jar was empty, he moved on to the rex, pouring the yellow font into its left nostril.
He swiftly moved back as the two giant dinosaurs slowly woke up. Amber turned around and pulled the big silver beer keg out from underneath a computer desk. Smiling, he dragged the heavy beer keg out of the room, running all the way back to the embryo storage room.
* * *
The spinosaurus opened its eyes. It felt different. It had been taken to the clinic for flu symptoms, but now it didn't feel sick at all. In fact, it never felt better!
"Rarrr," the spinosaurus said, admitting his thanks to the Park's doctors that had cured her.
"You foolish lizard! You don't actually think that they cured you, do you?" a voiced asked in the back of the spinosaur's head.
"Roooor?" the spino asked the voice.
"Well I'm glad you asked Spiny! My name is. . . . BOB! Muahahahahaha!"
"Berrr?" the spino asked.
"I am the Dark God! And now, you will help me destroy the world with fire!" Bob yelled.
"Muahahahaha!" the spinosaurus laughed/roared.
* * *
The tyrannosaurus opened her eyes slowly. It too suddenly felt a hundred percent better than it once had. But it refused to thank the Park doctors. . . .no, those sonsofbitches had stuck a needle in her tail. They would pay with their lives!
"Calm yourself," a voice that sounded a lot like Tony Blair said in the back of the rex's head.
"Mrrrr?"
"Excuse me if I sound blunt, but let us skip the formalities. I'm sure you won't mind, as your brain is so small. But, anyway, my name is Dan, I am the Light God. Amber has placed me in your head because Amber and I share a similar mission."
"Roar?" the rex asked.
"Yes. We will destroy these evil cloners! They are bad people!"
"Rar Roor rar rar rar," the rex said, reminding Dan that the doctors had stuck needles in her tail.
"Yes! See? Even we share the same mission! So, help me Rexy! Help me break lots of stuff!"
"Bwahahahaha!" the rex laughed/roared as it got to its feet and left its cell. When it was out, it noticed the spinosaurus standing right next to it and roared loudly.
The spinosaurus in return roared right back.
"Calm your lizard, Dan!" Bob shouted through the God wavelink channel thing that all Gods have. "We can't have your lizard perking up and attacking my lizard, now can we?"
"No, that would be bad for the mission," Dan said. "Calm down Rexy, we must work together with the spinosaurus this time."
The spinosaurus and the tyrannosaurus stared at each other for a long moment, preparing to rip each other apart. Then, they both jumped at each other, and embraced in a big dinosaur hug. After the hug was done, they smiled then proceeded to go about the room stepping on things.
* * *
Amber opened the door to the cold storage room where all the dinosaur embryos were kept. Then he moved quickly toward the embryo chambers. He set down the beer keg then slid open the tops of the embryo chambers. With hisses the tops came up, revealing row upon row of secured little vials of DNA.
"Oooooo," Amber said. Then he turned his attention back to the beer keg, and after a brief struggle with the top, managed to open the little hole in the middle of the tall silver cylinder.
Quickly, he began plucking the DNA vials from the chamber thingies. He smiled at how easy it all was. Tyrannosaurus, stegosaurus, triceratops, velociraptor, Dick Clark. . . all the dinosaurs were now his!
Plopping all the stolen embryos through the lid of the keg and into the cold beer within, he smiled and left the embryo room behind.
* * *
"And so," Angel was saying as she drove the Jeep down the dark roads, "you know, he was all like 'But I love you' and I was all like 'Boy, you best be gone with yo ass or I'll kick it to Hong Kong! Yo de mac truck don't go here no more!' And he got scared and ran away."
"Uhhhhh huh," Yvonne said.
"So, what do you remember about your grandfather?"
"Nothing like that, I can assure you."
"Oh, oh, oh!" Angel waved her finger in the air. "You haven't heard the half of it!"
"Do I have to hear any of it?" Yvonne asked.
Just then, a white orb flew past the front of the car. The orb seemed to hover over the road as it flew into the trees beside the road.
"What the hell was that?!" Angel screamed, slamming on the breaks.
"I think it was some sort of flying orb thing."
"Holy shit!"
The two women stared out the windshield for a moment, half expecting the orb to return, but it never did.
"Let's go looking for it!" Angel said.
"What? Are you nuts? That thing could be dangerous!" Yvonne shouted.
But Angel wasn't listening, she opened her door and quickly ran out of the Jeep. Yvonne followed her, as Angel led her into the foliage at the side of the road. It was almost too dark to see anything in the thick vegetation of the jungle.
"We should split up," Angel said. "We'd cover more ground that way."
"What happens if we find the orb?"
"Catch it!"
"How?" Yvonne asked.
"I don't know, but you'll think of something! Happy hunting!" Angel screamed then bounded off into the darkness.
Yvonne stood motionless, trying to think of what to do. She didn't really want to be out here in the jungle alone looking for a glowing orb. But, she didn't exactly want to be stuck in the Jeep, either. . .because then if the orb found her, she would be in a lot of trouble. She sighed and brushed a branch away as she made her way deeper into the jungle.
Almost instantly, she caught sight of the orb again. It flew over her head, and then glided out of sight through the trees in front of her. Yvonne smiled and started to run after the orb. As she neared it, the jungle slowly began to grow brighter and brighter.
Suddenly, she brushed away a branch, and she was at a creek bed, and hovering over a rock in the middle of the creek was the orb. The orb showed no intention to harm her or to flee from sight. It simply hovered in place.
"What are you?" Yvonne asked.
The orb bobbed slightly, and a deep British voice said, "An old friend."
Yvonne stared at the orb for a moment, then said, "I don't believe you."
"Good, you still have some brains in that head of yours, that is good, Yvonne."
"How do you know my name?" she asked the orb.
"I am an old friend."
"I don't believe you."
"Oh, bloody hell, this is going on too long," the voice said. Then slowly, the orb began to glow brighter. Yvonne had to shield her eyes from the harsh light emitted from the orb. And slowly, the orb began to take the shape of a man with a long beard, white flowing robes, and a big pointy hat.
Yvonne stared at the face of the man standing on the rock. "It cannot be."
The man smiled and lifted the Mop in his hand. "I have come back to you, at the turn of the tide. . . hehehe."
"Martin? Martin Randle?" Yvonne said in disbelief.
"Yes, it is I."
"What—What happened to you?. . . You look old."
"I was dead," Martin reminded her.
"Oh yeah, about that, why are you alive?"
Martin smiled, "My time had not yet come. I still had some business to attend to here on earth before I died. My 'death' was not planned or correctly executed, and so, the Gods sent me back here."
"Are you going to kill me?" Yvonne asked.
Martin sighed and began to stroke his long white beard. "You know, while I was 'dead', I had a lot of time to think. And, I decided I do not want to kill you, Yvonne."
"What do you want to do?"
Martin smiled, "Get my beard dyed blue, I'd be pretty hip looking then, eh?"
"Umm."
"No, actually I am here to guard a few select things as they make their way towards destiny."
"What things are you guarding?" Yvonne asked.
Martin winked, "Let's not spoil all the surprises now, okay?"
Without warning, Angel jumped from the bushes behind Yvonne and came up laughing. "Woo! That was fun, did you find the orb---"
Martin yelled and waved his Mop, and with a flash of brilliant light, Angel turned into a frog.
Yvonne gasped and looked at the frog hopping around on the ground. "You turned Angel into a frog!"
"She spooked me, I thought she was a robber, or something," Martin frowned.
"Can you change her back?"
"No, I'm a little new to the whole wizard gig, I haven't figured out everything quite yet."
Angel the frog hopped away from Yvonne, and then jumped into the creek bed, shouting, "I've never felt so alive!"
Martin and Yvonne stared at each other, then they both shrugged their shoulders and walked back to the Jeep.
So! Martin, Bob, and Dan are back in the Dr. Junkee series once more! Woo! hehe. . . I do hope you enjoyed, and please leave a comment! Thanks everyone!
-- Dr. Junkee
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS
Kyle 'JPJunkee' Warner
&
Yvonne Bartha
8/14/2003 1:36:06 AM
(Updated: 8/14/2003 1:46:12 AM)
(Updated: 8/14/2003 2:01:05 AM)
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