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Dr. Junkee 2 Loonies United (part 2)
By JPJunkee
HEAR THAT? THAT'S DYNAMITE BABY!
Huis van AHHHHHHH!
Drucifer sat in his living room of his nice little bungalow, sipping a glass of iced sweet tea. He looked outside the window, and saw the beautiful landscape of his tropical front yard. Palm trees, ferns, a pond. . . and more palm trees.
"Ahh, so tranquil," Drucifer said.
"Indeed it is."
"Gah! Who said that?!" Drucifer spat out some sweet tea, and jumped out of his chair.
"It was me, sir," said a man sitting in a chair across from Drucifer. The man was in his twenties and had a face covered in freckles, and spiked bright red hair. This was Amber. Beside Amber, sat another man, who was slightly younger, and had a rather crooked nose, and big black glasses, this was Jango.
"How did you two get in here?" Drucifer asked, his hand over his heart.
"We've been here for about an hour, sir, " Jango said.
"Why haven't you said anything?"
"We were waiting for you to say something, sir," Amber explained.
"Oh. . . well. . . okay. . . um, why are you here?" Drucifer asked.
"You called us to discuss plans for the weekend. Are we going out drinking again?!" Jango asked happily.
"Oh. . . yes. . . now I remember. And no, the plans do not include excess amounts of drinking."
"I guess I have no reason to be here then," Jango said, and stood up from his seat, then walked to the door.
"Where do you think you're going? I need to talk to you," Drucifer said.
"Well then, why didn't you say so?" Jango shook his head and walked back to his seat.
Drucifer stared at Jango for a moment, then said, "Yes, well. . . I have decided to allow a few visitors to the park, this weekend. Jango, the list of people invited to the park is very small. I will be having Yvonne, AlanGrant5, and some other new character joining us on the island. I will invite AlanGrant5 and Yvonne myself, but you must find and invite the new character. Okay?"
"Roger that, Corporal!" Jango nodded.
"And. . . I know you've made mistakes in the past. . . you know like the time when you ordered cats to feed to the animals, instead of cows or goats. . . and the time when you told one of our investors that there weren't electrified fences, but instead it was just a bunch of hot gas keeping the animals inclosed. . ."
"Heh, yeah that was a funny time," Jango said.
Amber rolled his eyes.
"Yes, well, my point is, there is one thing you cannot mess up, okay? You may invite anyone you want. But, just don't invite Dr. Junkee. Clear?"
"Crystal!"
"Good, then you may leave now."
Jango smiled and left the room.
Drucifer smiled as he watched him leave. Once Jango was out of the room, he said, "Ah, that kid reminds me of me when I was young."
"You mean brainless and incompetent?" Amber asked.
"Did I tell you to talk?"
"No, sir. Sorry, sir."
"Okay. . . . So, what did you want to talk to me about, Amber?"
"Am I allowed to talk now, sir?"
"I don't know, are you?"
"I'm not sure, am I?"
"Good answer!"
There was a long pause.
"Does this mean I can talk then?" Amber asked.
"What do you think?"
Amber rubbed his chin, then said, "Yes?"
"Are you asking me or telling me?"
"Which you rather me do?"
"Good answer!"
Another long pause.
"Okay, I'm just going to come right out and say it!" Amber said. "I want a raise."
"A raise? Why?" Drucifer looked at Amber like he was nuts.
"Because I want more money. I do a lot of work for you, Drucifer. And I feel underappreciated. I'm the computer geek. I'm the geneticist geek. Hell, I'm the geek with freckles, even! And still, I get paid less than Shniz, the guard who imitates frogs!" Amber pointed out the window.
* * *
Shinz, a big fat guy with a shaved head sat on a rock in the middle of the pond in front of Drucifer's house.
"Ribbit," Shniz said. "Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit."
The head of a crocodile came out of the water and bit onto Shniz's arm, and dragged him into the water.
"Ribbit," a bubble in the pond said.
* * *
"Well, not anymore, I suppose," Amber said with a frown.
"See? You're overreacting," Drucifer said.
"Listen, Drucifer. Either pay me more, or you're going to regret it."
"Oh? And what will I be regretting?"
". . . Not paying me more."
"Ha!" Drucifer laughed. "You're funny. . . . Listen, Amber, go eat something, you're looking awfully orange in the face."
"Those are freckles, sir."
"Ha! Oh, you're a riot!"
Amber growled and then left the room. Once he had stepped outside, he pulled a cell phone from his pocket, and punched in a phone number.
"Amber?" a calm and cool voice said on the other line.
"Yeah, it's me."
"You in, then?"
"Yeah. . . Yeah, I'm in."
"Good," said the voice. "You know where to meet me."
Amber turned off the phone and walked away from Drucifer's bungalow, walking in the direction of the Visitor's Center. On the way, he noticed a sign attached to a electrified piece of fence, that said, "Warning! 1,000 volts!"
Amber growled, "Signs. . . I hate signs!" Then he roared and jumped at the sign. He hit one of the electrified wires and was sent flying backwards. He landed on his back, his front torso smoking and charred.
"Ow."
* * *
Büro der Medikation
Dr. Junkee sat in his chair behind his desk, with a notepad on his lap, and a pen wiggling between his fingers. Beside his desk, laying on the big leather couch, was one of his patients, Aragorn.
"--- So you know, he was all like, 'Hey, Aragorn! You don't own me! I'm my own person! I can do and think what I want!' I tried, Dr. Junkee," Aragorn was saying. "I tried to tell him that he was in denial, and that he knew. . . he knew I was the King of all Mankind."
Junkee yawned.
"And well, he didn't like that very much, so he stabbed my hand with a popcicle stick." Aragorn held up his hand, where a big red hole was clearly visible. "I screamed for the guards to get him . . . but they said I had brought it upon myself. Mutiny! Mutiny I say! They would not defend their King! I spit!" Aragorn turned and spat on the side of Junkee's desk.
Junkee gave Aragorn an angry glare. "And then they gave you sleepy medication," Junkee said.
"Yes. . . . yes, they drugged me. . . they drugged their King. . . . bastards."
"Uh huh, and what are you planning to do now?"
"I will call for a hanging! I will tell the orderlies to hang the mutanists. . . mutants. . . mutinities. . . . mutininitities. . . . hmm."
"Yes, well, that's nice. How about I do you a favor, and call an orderly to the room, right now?"
"That'd be great!"
Junkee pressed a button on his desk, and Agent-Malcolm walked into the office.
"Malcolm, would you be so kind as to guide Aragorn to the hole?"
"The hole?!" Aragorn shrieked. "I thought you were going to help me get the mutants hung!"
"Why would you ever think I was going to help you?" Junkee asked.
Aragorn's mouth dropped, "Mutiny!"
Agent-Malcolm grabbed Aragorn and hauled him out of the room. Once they were gone, Crow appeared in the doorway.
"Yes, what is it Crow?" Junkee yawned.
"Dac is here for his appointment," Crow said.
Junkee rolled his eyes. "Okay, send him in."
Dac entered the room, and Crow closed the door behind him.
"Where am I?" Dac asked, looking around the room in a daze.
"Hey, you know what, Dac? Why don't we just get this thing over with. . . and you just set yourself on fire, right now?"
Dac looked at Junkee with an odd expression. "What is fire? Who are you? Who is Dac?"
"Riiiiight."
Dac looked at the lighter in his hand, "Oooo! What does this button do?!" He pressed the button, and his arm instantly caught on fire.
Junkee leaned back in his chair, and watched as Dac ran around the room screaming. This was old. He had seen this all before. When once it was entertaining, now it was boring. He watched as Dac leaped out the window. Bah! Lame!
"I need a vacation," Junkee muttered to himself.
Just then, the phone on his desk began to ring. He picked it up, and said, "Hello. What do you want?"
"Hey Junkee. . . It's me Vader."
Junkee sighed, and moved to hang up the phone.
"Wait! Don't hang up yet!"
Junkee sighed again, and put the phone back to his ear. "What is it, Vader?"
"Listen, I'll make this short. Umm, first. . . I'm sorry for leaving you for dead and all. And second. . . um, I got arrested. And, well, I have no one else to call. . . so I called you. . . . Can you pay for my release, old buddy, old pal?"
"You gotta be kidding me."
"Sadly . . . no."
"What were you arrested for?"
"Illegal street racing, destruction of property, and attempted man slaughter. . . the works," Vader said.
Junkee smiled slightly.
"Come on, Junkee. . . I really need your help. . . And you're the only one I can count on."
"How much money will it cost me?" Junkee asked.
"Brace yourself."
Junkee's smile disappeared.
Vader sighed on the other line, "Fifty dollars."
Junkee fell out of his chair laughing.
LATER
That evening, a there was a scheduled meeting at the hospital, where the many Doctors would talk to the many other Doctors about Doctor stuff, and then try to get money and such. The meeting was more of a lecture, of sorts. It was being held in an auditorium. There were hundreds of Doctors and other people seated row upon row, watching the stage before them.
Standing at the podium in the middle of the stage, was Dr. SamNeillFan. Behind her, sitting in chairs were Dr. Junkee, Crow, and Agent-Malcolm.
"-- What we ask of you, fellow Doctors," SamNeillFan was saying. "Is that you simply see where we are coming from on the whole mentally impaired situation. We know our opinions and methods differ from your own, but I do not think you should not support us just because you don't handle your patients like we do."
Dr. Junkee meanwhile, was doing the thing any normal person would be doing at such a meeting; Sleeping. His chin touched his chest as he snored away.
Crow leaned over to Junkee and whispered harshly, "Wake up, sir!"
"Amuhn habl dib," Junkee mumured in his sleep.
"Sir, you must wake up."
"Weedle de beedle poof."
Crow frowned, sighed, then shrugged his shoulders and poked Junkee in the stomach.
Junkee jumped to his feet, "I object, your honor!"
The room went silent as all eyes went to him. SamNeillFan turned around at the podium and said, "What?"
Junkee smiled, trying to hide his embarrassment, then straightened his jacket and stood straight, waiting for SamNeillFan to continue.
SamNeillFan sighed then said, "Since the discovery of their existence, loonies have been regarded with fear, pity, and often hatred. Are they the next link in the devolutionary chain? Or simply a bunch of stupid people, fighting for their share of the world?"
Dr. Junkee shook his head and walked up to the podium, pushing SamNeillFan out of the way. "Blah blah blah blah. . . . What she's trying to say is give us more money, so we can destroy the loony menace!”
The crowd of hundreds stand up from their seats and start to cheer. Junkee smiled and nodded, then said to SamNeillFan, "See? It's all in your level of confidence. If you act like you kick ass, you kick ass. But if you act like you did. . . . with your constant babble about who the hell knows what. . . people will fall asleep. Oh yes, people will fall asleep."
SamNeillFan growled, "Go screw a llama."
Junkee looked taken aback. "How crude."
Then a voice from inside the crowd got Junkee's attention, "You're as insane as your patients are!"
Junkee took this comment as if it was an everyday thing as he turned back to the crowd. But when he saw the skinny old man who had said the remark, he let out a gasp.
"Dr. Love?" Junkee said. "I thought you. . .like. . .died. . .from testicular cancer. . .or something."
Dr. Love shook his head, "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."
"Well. . . Bloody hell."
"Dr. Junkee, you do realize that the methods of the way you treat your patients are the same methods that cavemen used to treat their mentally ill, millions of years ago?"
:::FLASHBACK:::
Millions of years ago
Two cavemen sat on top of a big gray mountain. One was laying on its back, while the other sat on a small boulder, while writing with finger paint on a rock tablet.
The caveman laying down sniffed, then said, "Ooooo, oook barrrr."
"Balup ooooook, ook hook?!" the psychiatrist caveman on the boulder asked.
"Oook ook ooooooooooooooook."
"Ahhh! Rai! Ohk!" the psychiatrist caveman screeched, jumping to his feet.
The other caveman got off the ground, "Oook oko?"
"Bah!" the psychiatrist caveman shouted, picking up a big rock, and throwing it at his patient. The rock hit him in the head, sending him falling down the steep embankment of the mountain.
"Oook! Gah!" he screamed.
:::END FLASHBACK:::
Junkee smiled, "Well, let's just say I'm old fashioned."
"You're one of the most famous psychiatrists in the world," Dr. Love said.
"Well, yes, I know. But, thank you for bringing that to my attention though."
"All the attention goes to you, but it is the loonies we should be worrying about."
"Why should we worry about them?" Junkee asked.
"They're dangerous, unpredictable, and dangerous."
"Hmm, imagine that."
"No one even knows how many loonies even exist, or where to find them."
"Except me!" Junkee threw his hands up in the air.
"You do?" Dr. Love asked.
Junkee put his hands down. "Maybe."
"Well do you or don't you?"
Junkee hesitated and searched for the correct words, then he said, "This is boring, I'm out of here." Then he turned and left the podium, walking towards the back of the stage.
"Wait!" Dr. Love shouted after him. "You know how many exist and where to find them?"
Dr. Junkee stopped walking and turned back to Dr. Love, "I guess you'll never know." Then he retreated to the back of the stage, out of sight.
Everyone was silent for a moment. Dr. Love stood erect with a blank expression of confusion. Crow leaned over to Agent-Malcolm and whispered, "Well, that scene amounted to nothing."
Agent-Malcolm nodded, "Yes, but think about the performances these guys just gave. I'm willing to bet Dr. Junkee will be up for an Oscar and maybe even a Grammy."
Crow nodded his understanding, "Oh, so it was one of those scenes?"
"Yeah, every story needs a scene where it doesn't lend anything to the plot, but just offers a chance to the actors or characters to show their talent."
"Kind of like the scene at the end of Old Yeller where the dog dies," Crow said.
Agent-Malcolm paused, then said, "Dude, that was the plot."
"What?"
* * *
La tierra del Calor
It was hot. So hot in fact, that human skin became sticky and icky to the touch. Yes, indeed, it was that hot. Rays of sunlight cascaded over the desert sky. It was much more poetic and beautiful looking than this hack for a writer could even begin to describe.
Below the sky, littering the ground, were people walking all about the desert, doing their jobs. Who were these people? Why, they were paleontologists, of course! Who else works in the desert? Hahaha!. . . stupid question. . . .
Amongst all these paleontologist people, stood one of the greatest paleontologists of all time. . . well, not really.
“Whoa! I found Pongo’s hidden treasure of bones! Hehe,” AlanGrant5 shouted happily, as he stood looking over a skeleton of a velociraptor. “Hey, Yvonne! Come see what Pongo hid from me!”
Yvonne (yes, her) walked over to AlanGrant5, with a slightly worried look on her face. When she saw the velociraptor skeleton she sighed.
“Pongo’s gonna get it now!” AG5 said, raising his fist high.
“Alan, these aren’t bones Pongo hid from you. These are the bones of the velociraptor we’ve been digging up for the last three weeks,” Yvonne said.
“Oh. . . . Well. . . Pongo should have told me about the velocorapatior then! Oh! He will get a beating! Yes!”
“No he won’t.”
“Oh? Why is that?” AlanGrant5 put his hands on his hips.
“Pongo was taken away by Animal Control nearly two weeks ago.”
“Oh. . . right. . . hehe, forgot about that.”
Yvonne rolled her eyes.
“Say!” AlanGrant5 smiled. “Would you like a beer?!”
“No, and neither would you.”
“I wouldn’t? Why not?”
“Because you’re a recovering alcoholic,” Yvonne said.
“Ha! Oh you’re a funny one, Yvonne!” AlanGrant5 laughed as he turned away from Yvonne, and walked over to the cooler beside one of the trailers.
Yvonne shook her head, and walked in the opposite direction, where she saw that Sinornis was working on something at a table.
Yes, you remember right. Sinornis was in the first season. And yes, he was a lawyer. So, what is he doing at a paleontological dig site? . . . . . He was a smart lad and decided that being a lawyer practically guaranteed himself a place in hell, so he switched professions. Everyone give Sinornis a big round of applause!
[AUTHOR NOTE; Actually, Sinornis got the totally cool role of a paleontologist, because. . . he IS a paleontologist! And no, Martin, that does not mean you will now be a totally cool sound and graphics guy, you are still a janitor that is thought to be dead. And no, Yvonne, that does not mean you will now be even remotely sane, you are still a loony. And no, Amber, that does not mean I will treat you like you’re not a dork, because treating you that way is just too much fun. And no, Vader, that does not mean I will make you a civilized human being, you are still loco, man! And no, Dark Hunter, that does not mean I will stop picking on you, and making your character do odd things. And finally, no, Spielberg1213, that does not mean I will not kill you this season. Sorry!]
“What are you working on, Sinornis?” Yvonne asked, walking up to the table.
Sinornis smiled, “I’m working on a new species of rock I discovered.” He sat at the table, with a glowing green rock in front of him. The rock was only about the size of a soccer ball, and was featureless, except for the fact that it was green, and glowing. “It has some odd characteristics.”
“Like what?” Yvonne asked.
Sinornis turned to Yvonne. She let out a terrified scream when she saw that his eyes had turned bright green.
“Pretty cool, huh?” Sinornis blinked his eyes over and over.
“Yeah, sure. But, where did you find the rock? And how does that rock have anything to do with paleontology?”
“Oh, I found it behind the porta-potty. And how does it have to do with paleontology? Simple! This rock, brought on the extinction of the dinosaurs! It’s really a gigantic find! I’m going to be on Jay Leno for sure!”
“How did that rock kill all the dinosaurs?” Yvonne sounded skeptical.
“Yet again, simple! What it did, was it made all the dinosaur’s eyes turn bright green, and then the dinosaurs simply---“ Sinornis coughed and fell out of his chair.
Yvonne frowned, then backed away slowly.
“Hey Yvonne!” a voice called behind her.
Yvonne turned around to see Jurassiclaw waving a hat back and forth, on top of a hill.
“What?!” Yvonne yelled back.
“There’s a helicopter headed this way!” Jurassiclaw shouted.
“Really? Where is it?”
“It’s right over there!!!” Jurassiclaw waved his hat back and forth again.
“Where?!”
“THERE!” Jurassiclaw pointed to the sky.
“Where?!”
“I said, it’s over---“
The helicopter came zooming out of the sky and landed right on Jurassiclaw. The door of the helicopter opened, and a man with long hair, and an amber cane stepped out. Yvonne instantly recognized the man.
“Drucifer!”
* * *
Yvonne and Drucifer sat at a table inside one of the trailers. They spoke about what had happened over the last few months. . . you know, boring chit-chat that no one ever enjoys.
After about thirty minutes, the door to the trailer flew open, and AlanGrant5 stormed in. “Okay!” he shouted. “Who’s the jerk that put their red shirt in with the whites? Look at my boxers! Look at them Yvonne! They’re pink! Pink I tell you! Pink!”
“Yes, I see them,” Yvonne nodded.
“They’re pink!”
“Hello, AlanGrant5,” Drucifer said, turning to him.
AlanGrant5 gasped. “Drucifer?! Hey! How ya doin pal?”
“’Pal’? Don’t you mean; ‘Oh mighty one who cloned me so that I could wreak havoc on all the Elementary schools’?”
“Oh, yeah, that,” he smiled.
“You created him to destroy Elementary schools?” Yvonne asked.
Drucifer shrugged, “It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.”
“Oh, Drucifer! Look at my bird!” AlanGrant5 said.
“You allowed him to care for a living animal?” Drucifer asked Yvonne.
She shrugged.
The happy little AlanGrant5 ran over to a bird cage, where a big blue parrot sat on its perch, eyeing him watchfully.
“His name is Jack! Watch! He can do tricks!”
Drucifer arched his eyebrow.
“Jack. . . Jack. . . say my name. . . .”
Jack the parrot stared blankly back at him.
“Jack. . . come on Jack. . . say my name. Is my name, Alan? Is my name, Alan?”
"Although it is within the realm of possibility to escort equus caballus to a location providing a potable mixture of hydrogen and oxygen, one cannot coerce said mammal to imbibe," the parrot said.
AlanGrant5 turned back to Yvonne, “I don’t like this bird, anymore, Yvonne. It talks odd. . . I think it only speaks Spanish. . .”
“Try again.”
AlanGrant5 grunted then turned back to Jack the parrot. “Okay, bird. I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.”
“I like you,” the parrot squawked.
“Well, then, say my name!”
The parrot stared blankly back at him.
AlanGrant5 pointed his index finger sharply at Jack, “Damn you bird! Say my friggin name! We’re having a barbecue tomorrow, and instead of chicken, we can have pork!”
The bird squawked and bit onto AlanGrant5’s finger. Then it began to shake him back and forth with the power of its sharp beak.
“Oh God! Oh the humanity!” AlanGrant5 screamed in pain.
Drucifer and Yvonne stared at AG5 for a long moment as he continued to scream. Then they looked away, and sighed.
“So what brings you here, Drucifer?” Yvonne asked.
“Oh yes! I have come to invite you to see my newest invention!”
“Is it better than your other newest invention?” Yvonne motioned to AlanGrant5 as he ran about the room, with a bloody finger.
“Um, yes quite,” Drucifer nodded swiftly. “I own an island, off the coast of Costa Rica. I bought it off an old man with a white beard and a Scottish/Irish/Canadian/Demarkian accent.”
“John Hammond?” Yvonne asked excitedly.
“No, Santa Clause.”
“Oh.”
AlanGrant5 sat down next to Yvonne. He had a big wad of toilet paper over his bloody hand.
“Anyway,” Drucifer said, “I’ve spent the last few months setting up a sort of. . . biological preserve. Really spectacular. Saved lots of money, by buying a lot of stuff off eBay. And I would really like your opinion on it. . .”
“Why would you care what we think?” Yvonne asked.
“Well, lots of people that would be the regular customers of the park have said they like it. I wanted to see if it would appeal to the insane customers as well.”
“What kind of park is this? Does it have ponies?!” AlanGrant5 asked.
Drucifer smiled, “Now, now, if I told you what it was you would never come. . .”
“I don’t want to come, then,” Yvonne said.
“Damn. . . oh hell. . . umm, it’s a lizard zoo!”
“Lizards?!” AlanGrant5 smiled.
“Lizards?” Yvonne moaned.
“Yes, yes, and the lizards are big!”
“Big lizards?!” AlanGrant5 jumped to his feet. “Hot damn! When do we leave?”
Yvonne shook her head slowly.
* * *
SANA JOSEA MONICOCO MANTA RIA CALIFORNOTSA BASFOOL (Find this place on the map, and win a prize!)
Lots and lots of chickens made lots and lots of chicken noises (it’s. . . what they do). And amidst all the chickens, a bunch of people walked up to vendors, and bought chickens with no heads! You know, the scene was kind of like one of those gruesome scenes that you see in those war films that take place in a foreign country. Very hard to watch, and stuff.
Anyway! A beat up old car with a TAXI symbol on its roof pulled up, and a man with a bald head and bad sunglasses stepped out into the hot, feather filled air.
The bald guy walked past all the chickens and people running around with chickens that had their heads cut off. And finally, he walked into an outdoor dining area. Instantly, he heard his name being called.
“Oh! Neill! Dinosaur_Neill!” Amber, the red haired kid with freckles called.
Dinosaur_Neill sighed and moved over to Amber’s table. Amber had a bowl of salad, and a half a bottle of V8 on the table. That was all. Nope! Contrary to what you may have originally believed, Amber was not a piggy eater!
Dinosaur_Neill sat down next to Amber and whispered, “You shouldn’t use my name.”
Amber gasped. “Oh God! I’ve failed! I’ve already endangered the mission! Oh how could I have messed up so soon?! Ohh!!!!!”
Dinosaur_Neill grabbed Amber’s skinny arm and growled, “Settle down. Don’t draw attention to yourself.”
“I’m drawing attention to myself?! Oh man!!!” Amber squealed.
Dinosaur_Neill’s eyes turned red, and he slapped Amber across the face.
Amber rubbed his red cheek. “I’m better now.”
“Good,” Dinosaur_Neill said, revealing a brown paper grocery store bag.
“What’s in the bag?”
“I’m not telling.”
“Come on! What’s in the bag?”
“Nope.”
“Tell me! What’s in the friggin bag?!”
“Hehe, not a word!”
Amber roared and picked up his bottle of V8, then broke it over Dinosaur_Neill’s head. The thick red liquid flowed down Dinosaur_Neill’s face.
“What is in the bag?” Amber demanded.
Dinosaur_Neill opened the bag, and revealed a bunch of money. “It’s your pay, dipshit.”
“Oh yeah!” Amber laughed.
“This is one million dollars. You’ll get another million once you bring back the embryos. But remember! If the embryos are damaged, we can’t use them! And so, we take back the money!”
“Like hell you will.” Amber rubbed the paper bag like it was a little puppy. “How am I supposed to transport the embryos?”
Dinosaur_Neill grinned and pulled a big silver beer keg out from underneath the table (yes, he put it there himself, you just need to pay more attention). He opened up the top of the beer keg and showed it to Amber. “The top opens like a can of spray paint.”
“Spray paint cans don’t open from the top.”
“Sure they do.”
“Nuh uh!”
“Yes huh!”
“Nuh uh!”
“Okay fine! Anyway, that’s not the point. There’s enough cold beer in this thing to keep the embryos chilled for nearly 36 hours. That should give you enough time to get back with them, to. . . this place. The embryos HAVE to be on the first boat off of the island this weekend.”
“That’s up to your guy on the boat,” Amber said, still petting his bag of money.
“How are you planning to beat security?”
“Oh, I’ve got a plan.”
“What is it?”
“Not telling.”
“Why not?”
“Because that would spoil the story.”
“Oh. . . . right!”
The waiter walked over to the table, and placed the receipt on the table. "Gracias, seńor," the waiter said, then walked away.
Amber stared at the receipt and growled, "Receipts, I hate receipts."
Dinosaur_Neill eyed him cautiously, then quickly snatched up the receipt, and paid for the meal himself.
Amber smiled and pulled a wad of tobacco from his pocket and shoved it in his mouth. Being ADD had it's advantages, he thought with a big black toothed grin.
Thank you to all those who read it, much appreciated. Please leave a comment. Next week, even more characters will be introduced, so. . . . stay tuned! Also . . . . if you can translate the first thing that Jack the parrot says. . . you will win a prize! What kind of prize?. . . You'll just have to wait and see! (it's not worth the time trying to translate it, trust me)
-- Dr. Junkee
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS
Kyle 'JPJunkee' Warner
&
Yvonne Bartha
7/17/2003 12:50:36 PM
(Updated: 7/17/2003 6:50:36 PM)
(Updated: 7/17/2003 6:50:53 PM)
(Updated: 7/17/2003 9:38:13 PM)
(Updated: 7/17/2003 9:43:52 PM)
(Updated: 7/20/2003 1:35:24 PM)
(Updated: 7/20/2003 1:36:59 PM)
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(Updated: 7/20/2003 1:38:08 PM)
(Updated: 7/20/2003 1:50:31 PM)
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