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Dr. Junkee 2 Loonies United (part 14)
By JPJunkee
Martin paced back and forth in the middle of the Control Room. After the power had been turned back on and Drucifer and Host had awoken, Martin, Drucifer, Host, and the kids had all went to the Control Room to try and reboot the system. It was then they realized no one knew what the hell they were doing.
"I just realized no one knows what the hell we're supposed to do," Martin grumbled.
"Where's Yvonne and Snake-Mark?" Drucifer asked. "They should be back by now."
"They're probably dead," RaptorHiss said with a grin.
"Snake-Mark is your father, is he not?" Host said in a slow voice, from all the drugs that still coursed through his veins.
"Yeah, so?" RaptorHiss shrugged his shoulders.
"If my father was informed by other parties that I was exultant in relation to his fatality, in all probability he would give me an intense flogging with a Singapore cane," Host said.
"Huh?"
"I'm hungry," Bish said, indifferent to the others.
Martin nodded. "Okay, Drucifer, take the kids to the cafeteria and get something to eat. . . Like Jell-O. I'm going to go and see if I can find Yvonne or Snake-Mark." And with that, Martin started towards the door of the Control Room.
"And what do I do?" Host asked, moving his creaky wheelchair after Martin.
Martin stopped and turned back to Host. "You try to stay in this room and keep as silent as you can. No talking."
"But--"
"No talking."
"But I--"
"Nooooooo talking."
"Martin, listen, I--"
"Ah!" Martin shouted, holding up his Mop.
"What?"
"Ah, ah, ahhhh, noooo talking I said."
Host sighed, "Martin, it is imperative you hear---"
Martin frowned, smacking Host over the top of the head with the Mop. Host grunted, then slipped into unconsciousness in his wheelchair. Martin looked up at Drucifer, Bish, and RaptorHiss, smiled, then left the Control Room.
* * *
The humming of the perimeter fence was very loud. Dr. Junkee, Dark Hunter, Vader, and Dac all stood at one side of the fence, staring through the silver wires, longing to reach the opposite side.
Junkee picked up a stick, and tossed it at the wires. It clunked against them, then fell back down to earth. "Well, I guess that means the power's off."
Dac nodded, then reached forward and grabbed the wires of the fence.
BUZZZZZZ!
"GAHHHHHHHH!" Dac screamed as smoke and sparks flew from his hands and out of his ears.
Everyone stared as Dac was crispified before their eyes.
"Shouldn't we help him? No, no, no, lets him burn," Dark Hunter asked and then replied.
"GAHHHHH!" Dac continued to scream.
"I don't get it," Vader said. "He's been on fire for more than half of his time in the story, but electricity hurts and burns him. Where's the logic in this?"
Dac's skin turned black, and started to crack.
Junkee shrugged, "I don't think there is any logic in any of this story, Vader. Just stand back, and enjoy the show."
Dac's screaming ceased, then his body turned to ash, blowing away in the wind.
"Well, I guess that means the power's on," Vader said.
"Yep," Junkee nodded.
Dark Hunter sighed, "So, dipshits, how do we get to the other side? Ooooo, that reminds me of a joke I heard once! Ahh, we're always in the mood for a joke. Please, do tells us! Okay! Why did the chicken not cross. . .umm. . . cross the. . .uhhh. . . why did the chicken cross the road? . . . Because he didn't! Ha! . . . . I don't. . . I don't think I told that one right. Dummy. Hey! That was uncalled for. If I had half a mind, I would strangle you right now! Go for it. I will but I won't. What's that supposed to mean? Wouldn't you like to know?!"
Vader blinked, "You sure it was this guy who was about to kill me?"
"Yep," Junkee nodded.
"So, how do we get through this fence?" Vader asked.
"I know how," an unfamiliar voice said behind them.
Junkee, Vader, and Dark Hunter turned to see a dirty and sweaty middle-aged man with a big hat. Junkee thought the man looked suspiciously like that one actor. . . Sam something.
"Who the hell are you?" Vader asked.
"I'm AlanGrant5," the man said. . . who indeed, was AlanGrant5.
"No you're not," Vader said.
Junkee and Dark Hunter looked at Vader and said, "He's not?"
"I'm not?" AlanGrant5 asked. . . who, I remind you, was actually AlanGrant5.
"I know what AlanGrant5 looks like, he was featured in Time magazine's list of the 50 most eligible morons with lots of money," Vader said. "He's never as dirty and sweaty as you are. He's a pretty boy, never wants to get his hands messy."
"I'm a paleontologist," AlanGrant5 said.
"Exactly my point."
AlanGrant5 looked down at his filthy clothing. "I've just been running for my life through the jungle. Of course I'm a little dirty. When you play in the sandbox, your feet get sandy."
Junkee frowned, "What?"
"What were you running from then?" Vader asked, crossing his arms.
"A penguin," AlanGrant5 said.
Junkee's eyes went wide. "He's here. . . . He's come. . . ."
From somewhere in the jungle behind them, they heard a chainsaw come to life.
"PENGUIN!" Junkee shouted. Then he turned back to AlanGrant5, "You said you know the way to the other side of this fence? Where? How?"
"Take me with you," AlanGrant5 said in a pleading voice.
"What?"
"Take me with you. I want to see mountains, Junkee, mountains!"
Junkee frowned. "Err, how do you know my name? But anyway, umm, okay, sure. You can come with us. Just tell us where to go!"
In the distance, they heard a "CRAW!"
"Okay," AlanGrant5 nodded. Then he stepped backwards, to where there was a little blue handle attached to the silver wires of the fence. He smiled, turned the handle, and opened a seemingly invisible door.
Junkee smiled, then he and the others walked through to the other side.
* * *
Yvonne hid in a clump of long green ferns. She parted the leaves and peeked out of her hiding spot. She saw the door of the maintenance shed swing open, and the enraged Dino_Dude jump out. He looked both ways, before finally running in the opposite direction of Yvonne's hiding place.
Yvonne sighed, and sat back, relieved that her brother wouldn't be finding her anytime soon.
Taking in a deep breath, she got to her feet, and started walking back to the Visitor's Center.
In front of her, some distance away, she heard a quiet moaning. Straining her eyes, Yvonne saw Snake-Mark laying on the ground. Yvonne smiled, running over to him. But as she got closer, her smile faded.
"Oh my God," she whispered.
Snake-Mark was laying on his back, with motor oil and sparking robotic limbs scattered all around him. Snake-Mark himself looked to be in pretty bad shape, his face was covered in blue bruises, blood dripped from his swollen lip, oh and he was missing an arm and a leg.
"Yvonne. . . is that you?" he asked, his black eyes struggling to stay open.
Yvonne frowned, she didn't like talking to almost dead people. Holding her breath, she jumped and hid behind a tree.
"Are you hiding behind a tree, Yvonne?"
Yvonne frowned again. Trick questions. She hated them. A yes would mean she was hiding, and thus she would be a bad person. A no would mean she was a liar, and thus she would be a bad person. Instead, she went for something in between.
"Maybe," Yvonne said.
"Why?" Snake-Mark asked.
Yvonne sighed, and stepped out from behind the tree.
"There, that's better. Listen Yvonne, I'm pretty messed up. I don't think I'm going to make it."
"Nonsense," Yvonne said. "What are you talking about? Surgeons nowadays are amazing. We can get those missing limbs replaced in no time. I was watching this episode of ER where George Clooney had a patient that had been decapitated, but he was living again by the end of the episode, when George found a replacement---"
"Yvonne," Snake-Mark cut her off.
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
"Sorry."
"Now listen, no matter what I say, you have to leave me here. Okay?"
Yvonne nodded, "Yep."
"What? No. . . 'I'm not leaving you behind' speech?" Snake-Mark frowned.
"Nope."
"Hmm, okay. Well, I want you to tell Drucifer something for me."
"Okay."
"Tell him," he took in a sudden harsh breath of air, then said,". . . .Guhhhhhhhhhh. . . ." Snake-Mark's eyes closed, and he lay there in silence, all dead and stuff.
Yvonne frowned at the peculiar message, but nodded her head because she was noble and didn't think questioning the word of a dead man was a very good thing. "Okay, Mark, I'll tell him."
Yvonne stood up and found herself standing right next to Martin. She let out a gasp and stepped backwards.
"Oh, Martin, you scared me. I didn't see you standing there."
Martin tilt his head to the side, "Are you frightened?"
"Well, not now, but don't go sneaking up on people like that," Yvonne said.
Martin groaned, "No, you're supposed to actually answer the question. Let's try this again."
"Oh, okay."
Martin tilt his head to the side, "Are you frightened?"
Yvonne hated trick questions. "Maybe."
Martin rolled his eyes, but continued with the dramatic talking anyway. "Not nearly frightened enough. I know what hunts you."
"Yeah, so do I," Yvonne said.
"What? You do?. . . . Mind telling me what it is, because I haven't the faintest clue."
"My brother, Dino_Dude."
Martin frowned, looking at Snake-Mark's dead body, as well as all the torn up pieces of robots strewn everywhere. "Your brother must be really pissed about something. . . Okay, anyway, let's get you back to safety. Come on."
Yvonne nodded, and followed Martin as he led her back to the Visitor's Center.
* * *
Drucifer, Bish, and RaptorHiss were in the cafeteria, looking for something to eat.
"Everything's jiggly," Bish said.
RaptorHiss started poking a big cube of green Jell-O.
"Don't play with your food," Drucifer said.
"You can't tell me what to do," RaptorHiss said. "You're not my dad."
"No, your dad is dead."
"What?! My dad died?!" RaptorHiss started to cry.
"Awww, there, there," Drucifer said, putting his hand on the teen's shoulder.
RaptorHiss brushed his hand aside, then with tears streaming down his cheeks, ran for the exit of the cafeteria.
"Where are you going?!" Drucifer called after him.
"I just want to be alone! So. . . leave me alone!" RaptorHiss cried, opening the doors of the cafeteria. When the doors were opened though, he stopped running, staring down at the ground with teary eyes.
"What is it?" Bish yelled from across the room.
RaptorHiss shook his head, "I don't know, it looks like a bug---"
"WEEDLE! WEEEEEEEEDLE!"
POOF! RaptorHiss exploded, sending goo flying everywhere.
Drucifer and Bish covered their ears as the singing Gorblat flew up onto one of the tables.
"Quick!" Bish screamed over the Gorblat's song. "Put Jell-O in your ears to block out the sound!"
Drucifer nodded, grabbed a wad of green Jell-O, and stuffed it into his ears. He watched as Bish did the same, then looked at the Gorblat as it crept slowly towards them.
"Come on, let's hide!" Drucifer said, grabbing Bish's arm, and pulling him off his feet as he ran from the cafeteria to the kitchen.
* * *
Junkee couldn't believe what he saw before him. The building was tall. Really, really tall. And wide, too. Really, really, really wide. A grand marble staircase led up to a pair of auburn doors, which were surrounded on both sides by sets of dinosaur bones.
Dark Hunter rubbed his chin. "The hell is this place? It's the Mall of America. Hmmm."
"No," AlanGrant5. "This is the Visitor Center. They have a gift shop!"
Vader's eyes lit up with fiery anger, "Gift shop. . . . ."
Six months earlier. In one of the busiest airports in the world, the once distinguishable Vader, in suit and tie, stood in the gift shop trying to pick out a good present for his loved one. She would be arriving any time now. Vader smiled when his eyes landed on a small plush white bear, with a pink heart on the stomach, that said "I love you". How appropriate, eh?
Vader picked up the bear, and walked to the counter. He set it down by the cash register and looked up at the cashier. She was a big albino woman with thick black glasses and shiny metal braces.
"Holy shit it's Moby Dick's long lost sister," Vader said.
The albino woman glared at him, then typed up the total for the bear. "Thirty one dollars and fifty three cents," she said.
"Damn, you've got to be kidding me. That much?"
Moby Dick's sister took a deep breath, pushing the glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Sir, give me the money or else."
Vader grinned, putting on his pair of sunglasses. "Or else what?"
Moby Dick's sister smiled, then punched Vader square in the nose.
"Sonofabitch!" Vader yelled as he fell backwards, landing in a box of chockies.
Vader frowned, "She could have actually been very good looking if she was four hundred pounds lighter."
Junkee cocked his eyebrow, but said nothing.
"We don't have to go in the gift shop, do we?" Vader asked.
"No, we don't," Junkee said.
"Dammit, take all the fun out of life," AlanGrant5 said, kicking a rock with his feet.
"But, let's go inside now, okay? See if we can find some answers, and maybe a way off this island."
Everyone nodded, then walked up the steps, and entered the Visitor's Center.
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed, and please leave a comment to let me know what you thought!
-- Dr. Junkee
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS
Kyle 'JPJunkee' Warner
&
Yvonne Bartha
10/17/2003 1:19:27 AM
(Updated: 10/17/2003 2:07:59 AM)
(Updated: 10/17/2003 2:08:21 AM)
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