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2nd Annual FanFiction Awards
By JPJunkee
So I was thinking! Do I want to make this like a full awards show like I did last year? Or just put together a long list and let people discuss the winners as they feel fit? Basically the question was. . . should I spend the time to put in a little bit more fluff? It was a hard decision to make. Because I think it's safe to say, a lot of people like fluffy things. Without fluff, I doubt a lot of us would have puppies or pillows. Like the invention of plastic and cup holders, fluff has changed the world. But then again, some people don't like fluff, it makes them feel less masculine, so instead they feel the need to get lots of leather things (nothing says 'I'm cool' like a jacket made out of a dead cow's hide) or sharp pointy objects to hang on their walls (you know who you are, you fluff-hating-pointy-hoarders). . . . Yeah. If it's not already obvious, as I'm writing this I still haven't decided how exactly I'm going to put together everything. I guess we'll just go with the flow, okay?
All right!
Well, here we are again . . . FanFiction Awards. Awards for FanFiction. Time to celebrate (or at the very least, recognize) the writing here at this site. Stuff written by you, you, you, me, you, you, and you, too (and others). The stories were all nominated by you, and then voted upon by you. So if you're not satisfied with the winners, kill each other, not me! . . . These are The Junkees™! (Host thought up the name!) Like the Oscars only Dan doesn't own Disney (but you have to admit that'd sure make things interesting. Imagine Mickey Mouse on the front lawn of the White House), Teach isn't nominated for his freaky portrayal of Hannibal Lecter (it'd be a prequel, taking place in the 70's, where Hannibal has sideburns and goes after people in afros and fans of Three Dog Night), Yvonne's not gonna do a dance number with Sam Neill (from Chicago 2: Zellweger Got Recast), Martin won't get best score (many of you may not know this but Martin was John Williams' teacher. Oh yeah. You know that movie Star Wars? Williams stole Martin's music for that, and made his own millions, he turned to the dark side, you see. He felt he was better than Martin, and being held back. Martin was hoping to win an award this year for his musical score, but the Academy said mp3 series don't count as feature films. I think it is all Williams' fault!), Dac won't dress up as a hobbit at the red carpet (actually he still might), Host isn't the host (he's like a Canadian Billy Crystal! But not tonight), and Adrien Brody's not kissing me (and there was much rejoicing).
First I'd like to thank the people who participated in this. I wish there would have been more of you! But we'll make due.
Okay it is at this point that I've decided to make some sort of a half-ass award's show! But if you're not into that sort of thing (or if you're just wanting to know the winners now, now, now!), you can scroll down to the bottom of this message where the winners are listed in plain view.
Right then!
First category we'll do is. . . Best Short Story. Not a whole lot of nominees here, just three, but they're all very fine stories. The nominees are. . .
Invasion of Death by Snake-Mark
Hood Ornament by Dirty_Needles
Diary of a Schitzo by Snake-Mark
And the winner is. . . Hood Ornament by Dirty Needles
Cool. Okay. . . Next category we have is Best Editing. It may seem like one of those categories that is less important to win, but a story with less errors and better grammar always makes the reading easier. So it's important, dammit! Right well. . . here are the nominees.
Alan & Ellie by Yvonne
Second Triumvirate by The Host
Trial By Fire by Teach
Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
Keep In Touch by AlanGrant5
And the winner for Best Editing goes to. . . Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
Should there be an awkward silence here? Hehe. . . . Ahem! Next up! Best Action Sequence. A good action sequence is a. . . . good thing? Yes! It's one thing to throw together a bunch of explosions, four letter words, Vin Diesel characters, and expect people to just read along in that half-asleep, half-awake reader stupor. It's a completely other thing to write an enthralling, unique, and suspenseful action scene that keeps the readers glued to the words with each passing paragraph. It takes guts! It takes past experience in using the English language! And . . . it takes other things too I'm sure! But enough about that crap. Here are the nominees for Best Action Sequence. . .
Hellhounds attacking the diner in Modern Day Devils by Snake-Mark
Jurassiclaw versus The Shadow Lord in The Seventh Elite by Dino_Dude and Dac
Stampede scene with Larson and Rican face-off in Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
Admins versus the S-Men in Dan'sJP3Page: The Parody by fordprefect
The Master versus the Scrappy Gang in Slayer by Ben
And Junkee™ goes to. . . Jurassiclaw versus The Shadow Lord in The Seventh Elite by Dino_Dude and Dac
Congrats to you two! Next up we have the category of Best DanFic. Lots of good contenders here. I don't know if it's always been like this, but DanFics are quickly becoming the story of choice here lately. Lots of laughs and lots of members dying! What more could you want, right? Okay . . . here are the nominees. . .
The Seventh Elite by Dino_Dude and Dac
The Hunt for the Black Widow by Mr. Camel
Dan'sJP3Page: The Parody by fordprefect
Dr. Junkee III: Loonies in Space by JPJunkee, Martin Randle, and Yvonne
Flooder vs. Spammer by Dino-Snore and Aragorn
And the winner for Best DanFic is. . . Dr. Junkee III: Loonies in Space by JPJunkee, Martin Randle, and Yvonne
Now the category of Best Original Character in an Original Story. Characters drive each and every good story - whether it be science fiction, comedy, horror, action, or whatever else. . . It's the characters that make the stories memorable. . . . Here are the nominees!
Rowan the Steadfast from Trial By Fire by Teach
Dr. Junkee from Dr. Junkee III: Loonies in Space by JPJunkee, Martin Randle, and Yvonne
The Cowboy from Canopolis by dark hunter
Keshan from Forgotten Tale by KajiunVu
Mark Laurence from Modern Day Devils by Snake-Mark
The winner is! . . . Rowan the Steadfast from Trial By Fire by Teach
And we now move onto Best Villain. One of the most important characters of each story is the villain. He/she/it/them acts as the roadblock, the thing standing between the heroes and their ultimate goal. In the nominees this year we have an evil janitor, a demonic mayor, an insane sociopath, an intergalactic tyrant, and an actor who will stop at nothing to retrieve his lost wallet. . . Nifty. Here's the nominees.
Dark Janitor from Dr. Junkee III: Loonies in Space by JPJunkee, Martin Randle, and Yvonne
Bob from Slayer by Ben
Brock Larson from Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
The Shadow Lord from The Seventh Elite by Dino_Dude and Dac
Paul Kirby from The Lost Wallet: Jurassic Spoof by Agent Malcolm
And the Junkee™ for Best Villain is. . . Brock Larson in Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
Next we go to the heroes! Best Hero. The world is filled with admirable heroes. There's George W. Bush, Britney Spears, Michael Moore, that one firefighter who I don't remember the name of, and Franky Muniz. But none of them are being recognized here tonight. Tragic. Anywho, the nominees.
Ben Summers from Slayer by Ben
Rowan the Steadfast from Trial By Fire by Teach
Mark Laurence from Modern Day Devils by Snake-Mark
Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
Falcon from Falcon by Ben
And the Junkee™ for Best Hero is. . . Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
And now we move onto Best Non-JP FanFic. The fan fiction section was originally meant for stories pertaining to (and only to) Jurassic Park. There's even that little rule there. Did anyone ever really care about that rule? Of course not! And so we got lots of original stories. But also, there's the stories based on other film franchises and various series. They can't be classified as a JP story, and they're not exactly an original story either. . . and so they get their own category here. These are the nominees for Best Non-JP FanFic.
Resident Evil: Quarantine by Parasaur.w
The Prisoner of Zenda by The Host
Helsing by Snake-Mark
Falcon by Ben
Pokemon vs. Alien vs. Predator by CeratosPit
The award thing goes to. . . The Prisoner of Zenda by The Host
Next category we'll do is Best Dialogue. Dialogue is special. It is usually the most important part of each story, scene, or character you're writing. It can make you laugh, move you in some way, excite you, or if done improperly it could make you want to strangle the writer until their eyes popped out, and then play pool with them! Bad dialogue's not always that severe, but it does exist. For example!
"Man, I am really bored. Let's do something."
"Look Steve, a bear."
"Gasps. In the house? I just bought this. Get me my shotgun."
"Okay dude."
"Click, click, boom."
"You shot him, man. Gizmo!"
"Damn straight my brother."
"Let's make him into a rug, man."
"Okay dude."
"Then let's watch Scarface, oh la wenga."
"Yes. . . With rosemary."
See, now more than ever before you all want me dead. We're not doing the awards for Worst stuff though, we're doing it for the Best. . . And so here are the nominees!
Alan & Ellie by Yvonne
Falcon by Ben
Dr. Junkee 2: Loonies United by JPJunkee
Keep In Touch by AlanGrant5
Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
The winner is. . . Dr. Junkee 2: Loonies United by JPJunkee
We move to Best Character Adaptation now. Writing a new character is one thing, remaining loyal to an already created character is something totally different. It'd seem like an easier task than creating your own character, but I disagree - because with an original character you can do whatever the hell you want with the character, but with an adapted character you have to please the fans with accuracy. You couldn't very well expect Alan Grant to talk in computer terms could you? Or Hannibal Lecter to pass up on a good meal? Or Indiana Jones to leave his hat behind? Perhaps bad examples. . . But! Here are the nominees. . .
John Connor from Terminator 4: Bleak Future by Carnotaur3
Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
Ellie Sattler from Jurassic Park: Aftermath by Texasraptor
Alan Grant from Alan & Ellie by Yvonne
Abraham Van Helsing from Helsing by Snake-Mark
And the Junkee™ for Best Character Adaptation is. . . Alan Grant from Alan & Ellie by Yvonne
And while we're still dealing with characters we'll now move onto Best Original Character in a JP FanFic. I think one of the larger complaints from some readers here is that people writing JP stories focus too much on returning characters. Now I don't agree with that - I think familiarity is important in any JP story (and familiar dinosaurs don't really count). But, it is important to have some original characters thrown into the mix to . . . make everything more original. . . and stuff. Whether they be a new partner, a new hero or villain, it's usually the original characters in our Jurassic Park stories that make each story unique. . . . Here's the nominees (this category only has four, instead of the regular five, because only four were nominated).
Rob Tandy from Alan & Ellie by Yvonne
Chelsea Grant from Jurassic Park, Rebirth by JPfan4life
Joe Reiling from Jurassic Park: Aftermath by Texasraptor
Leah Owens from Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
The winner is. . . . Leah Owens from Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
Okay! . . . Best Details and Descriptions. Writing the proper amount of detail into scenes can be difficult sometimes. You write too much detail and you either bore your reader or you slow down the scene (hmm, or both). And then if you write too little detail, readers no longer feel as though they're part of the scene, and their vision of the action and characters fades a little. The nominees here succeeded in finding that good, agreeable level of detail. . .
Keep In Touch by AlanGrant5
Trial By Fire by Teach
Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
Resident Evil: Quarantine by Parasaur.w
Alan & Ellie by Yvonne
And the Junkee™ for Best Details and Descriptions is. . . Trial By Fire by Teach
Cool, all right, nearing the end now. Next category we have is Best Comedic Story. This is also known as the Best Humorous Story category, or the Best ROFLMAO Story category, and the Best Way To Waste 20 Minutes category. Mark Twain once said, "Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven." Well, I'm not really sure what the hell he's talking about, but that's not the point, here's the nominees. . .
InGen University by CeratosPit
lightgreyDARK by dark hunter
Dr. Junkee III: Loonies in Space by JPJunkee, Martin Randle, and Yvonne
Dan'sJP3Page: The Parody by fordprefect
The Lost Wallet: Jurassic Spoof by Agent Malcolm
The winner is. . . Dr. Junkee III: Loonies in Space by JPJunkee, Martin Randle, and Yvonne
Ooooooooookay next we have the award for Best Classic FanFic. I figured it'd be a good category to have, since so many people seem to believe that the only good stories were posted a long, long time ago. Funny thing is, not many people at all made nominations in this category, so you have to wonder. . . But oh well. Here are five nominees which you found to be classics in their own right, five which have stood the test of time (two years. . . It's an easier test than what films or published books have to go through) and remain to be some of your personal favorites. And so, without further boring explanation, here are the nominees.
My Perfect Life by Bob
Return to Jurassic Park by Alangrant4
Site Wars by Vader
Jurassic Park New Beginnings by Yvonne
Dan'sJP3Page: The Movie by Evilgrinch
And the award for Best Classic FanFic goes to. . . Jurassic Park New Beginnings by Yvonne
Just four categories left now! . . . Thank God. . . . We move now to Best New Author. Each year the site gets new members, and with each new member there is a chance that they may bring something new and special to our FanFiction section. Sometimes a new author could be an older member, but one who has never posted a story here yet. Either way! Here's this year's nominees. . .
Texasraptor
Mr. Camel
fordprefect
JPfan4life
KajiunVu
And the winner is. . . Texasraptor
Are you people getting bored yet? Probably should have asked that a long time ago, huh? Almost done, almost done! Now we shuffle on over to Best Original Story. The category is self-explanatory (as are most), so I won't bother trying to explain it. But I will say that this was close. The winner wasn't even decided until the last day of voting, so I think that's proof that all these nominated stories are filled with some pretty good stuff. Well, here we go!
Canopolis by dark hunter
Second Triumvirate by The Host
Keep In Touch by AlanGrant5
Trial By Fire by Teach
Modern Day Devils by Snake-Mark
The Junkee™ for Best Original Story is. . . wait for it. . . Trial By Fire by Teach
Congrats, Teach! We go now to another very close category, Best Author. Throughout the years at Dan's, good authors have come and gone . . . came back again, only to go again . . . some have moved onto better things, while some are rumored to be in jail (joking!). The following are the most recent batch of authors at Dan's, nominated and voted on by you! Here are the nominees. . .
Teach
dark hunter
The Host
JPJunkee
Yvonne
And the winner is. . . JPJunkee
Last category! My fingers hurt from the typing! Perhaps I've typed too much? Maybe! But can't stop now! The last category is Best Jurassic Park FanFic. It's kind of a shame, considering how this is a JP website, that there were really very few JP-related stories over the past year. Some were good, some were overlooked, but most were. . . never written? Maybe that'll change in the coming year. But that doesn't matter right now. Because now we're recognizing some of last year's best by having them get nominated and then throwing them in a pit together with knives, broken bottles, and about a dozen voters, to see who is the winner. . . Well, here are the nominees!
Jurassic Park, Rebirth by JPfan4life
Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
Alan & Ellie by Yvonne
Jurassic Park: Aftermath by Texasraptor
Muldoon's Vengeance by Dino-Dave
And the Junkee™ for Best Jurassic Park FanFic goes to. . . Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
And so that's it! All done. If any of you actually read through all of that, thank you, and if you didn't . . . I don't blame ya, and you didn't miss much. A little reminder to you all that it was you and everybody else who made the nominations and then voted for your favorites. So! Don't give me any guff about not winning, or someone winning too much, or someone not deserving this or that because you dislike them or whatever. If you're going to get pissed off about all this (which was all in good fun - and in hopes of trying to bring interest back to FanFiction), go talk to your fluffy pet cat or dog, it can possibly help you through these tough times. Well, I hope you did enjoy, and I hope next year (if there is a next year) that there will be a larger voter turnout than what we had this time. . . Thanks everybody for participating!
A quick recap (or cheat sheet) of the winners.
Best Jurassic Park FanFic - Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
Best Author - JPJunkee
Best Original Story - Trial By Fire by Teach
Best New Author - Texasraptor
Best Comedic Story - Dr. Junkee III: Loonies in Space by JPJunkee, Martin Randle, and Yvonne
Best Non-JP FanFic - The Prisoner of Zenda by The Host
Best DanFic - Dr. Junkee III: Loonies in Space by JPJunkee, Martin Randle, and Yvonne
Best Short Story - Hood Ornament by Dirty_Needles
Best Classic FanFic - Jurassic Park New Beginnings by Yvonne
Best Original Character in a JP FanFic - Leah Owens from Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
Best Original Character in an Original Story - Rowan the Steadfast from Trial By Fire by Teach
Best Character Adaptation - Alan Grant from Alan & Ellie by Yvonne
Best Hero - Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
Best Villain - Brock Larson from Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
Best Action Sequence - Jurassiclaw versus The Shadow Lord in The Seventh Elite by Dino_Dude and Dac
Best Dialogue - Dr. Junkee 2: Loonies United by JPJunkee
Best Details and Descriptions - Trial By Fire by Teach
Best Editing - Jurassic Park: Dawn of Retribution by JPJunkee+Yvonne
9/24/2004 10:16:38 PM
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