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FILLER TIME
By General Rancor
FILLER TIME
A great time had passed since the last "incident" (ok, maybe a week
tops, but you get the idea). There were many differences as well as
the same old shenanigans. Dan was still cruising in the BANmobile,
looking for gainful employment. Everyone's favorite slackers General
Rancor and Panos managed to do next to nothing, with the exception of
watching Carnosaur, and still create chaos. But then the changes
began. Many members of Dan's site vanished, only this time it wasn't
do to Dan's BAN ray. "It broke. BOOM!" became the catch phrase of
the site. Finally, it happened...
GR: This sucks, there's no fighting on Dan's site.
Panos: There's no one on Dan's site is more like it.
GR: Dan's on.
Panos: Exactly what I said, there's no one on.
GR: You have a point. Want to watch Carnosaur?
Panos: We just watched Carnosaur for the 999678 time, and usually
I'm the one that asks.
GR: That's it, to Dan's house!
*They leave for Dan's, and eventually arrive*
Dan: Dang! They're back, and my restraining order hasn't arrived yet.
Panos: Hey, BANman, 2 questions: What did you do to everyone on the
site, and why the hell are you in a dress?
Dan: AHEM! It's a tutu, and I haven't had time to go on my site,
I've been practicing my twirl.
GR: WTF!?!?!
Dan: No need to get all jealous, just because I look good in pink.
*starts prancing around*
*Panos grabs Dan by the throat*
Panos: STOP, you dancing is just plain wrong.
Dan: argh*OK*choke*
*goes inside and logs onto site, notices one new post entitled:
"butuyuytyut"*
Dan: Not everyone is gone.
Panos: Is that Spino144 guy back?
GR: I doubt it, the user name is rfrxrwe, which makes a whole hell of
a lot more sense than "oh la wen ga".
Dan: Maybe it's baby talk.
Panos: There should be a law against Dan being near little kids.
GR: Why? Is he a pedophile?
Panos: No, he'd BAN them.
GR: From what?
Panos: I don't know; he'd give them a time out or something.
Dan: You got that right, those frikken snot nosed brats need a good
old fashion time out. In fact, you two need to sit in the corner.
GR: Why don't you be of the making me!
Dan: What's the use, you'd find some way to be a pain in my neck.
Panos: My math teacher would give you a pain in the neck; he's a
vampire.
GR: That sucks, literally.
Dan: Getting back on topic, someone is on my site, as for the others,
maybe they got lives.
GR & Panos: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
Dan: I don't get it...oh, wait, hehehehehe.
GR: Dan can actually almost appear normal sometimes. I'll be damned.
Dan: NO, YOU'LL BE BANNED!
GR: Than there is the rest of the time...
Panos: AYO AYO!
Dan: It's been 5 minutes and you guys haven't destroyed anything or
gotten me arrested yet, this must be a new world record.
Panos: We must be losing our edge.
GR: I guess it's time we take it outside.
Dan: No, I told you already, I don't have any lunch money.
GR: I'm not going to beat you up, this time, yet...
Dan: Promise?
*GR raises fist*
Dan: OK. I think I'll just do as you say.
GR: Use your magical powers and find out where that post came from.
Dan: Awww, can't I just BAN them?
GR: No.
Dan: Ok, according to my sources, this post originated from right down
the block.
Panos: And you know this how?
*Dan smiles*
Dan: Well, first the computer-
Panos: BLAH BLAH BLAH!
Dan: I didn't finish yet.
GR: Trust me, you're done, now let's go.
*Group begins walking*
Dan: Look, a fossil.
GR: You fool; it's just left over food from that diner.
Panos: Speaking of fake fossils, whatever happened to-
Dan: NO! Don't say it.
Panos: What can't I say?
Dan: You know.
Panos: Just tell me already, wil-
Dan: HEY!
Panos: Hey what? What the hell is this guy talking about, General
Ran-
Dan: HEY!
General Rancor: I get it, we're not allowed to say-
Dan: HEY!
*Panos grabs grass and stuffs it in Dan's mouth*
Panos: There's your hay. As you were saying:
GR: I think we're not allowed to say-
*horn beeps*
Panos: We can't say-
*horn beeps again*
GR: Yep.
Panos: That's gay, don't you agree Dan?
Dan: mmmmmph.
*spits grass out*
Dan: Why do you guys think I'm the expert on homosexuality? You know
what, forget it. You should try the hay, it's surprisingly tasty.
GR: Ok Dan, that's enough, we have work to do.
*group arrives at building, which is a actually an abandoned A&P*
Panos: Dan, didn't you used to work at one of these?
Dan: Yeah, used to being the key words.
GR: Why?
Dan: Don't you start, you know why.
GR: Oh yeah, but this place is empty, you should apply.
Dan: HAHA. Real funny.
Panos: Take a joke. I mean really. WTF!?
*Dan suddenly hides paper and pen behind is back*
Panos: You're filling out an application! Hypocrite!
Dan: You never know when opportunity knocks.
GR: Usually now would be the time I hit you upside the head and say
knock knock, you say who's there, I say you're a, you say you're a who,
and I say you're a dork, and we laugh. But there is a mission
currently in progress, so let's find the computer and its user and end
this story, I'm getting tired of typing. Honestly, what kind of a
psycho would read this?
*the three glance towards the camera, and laugh at the user currently
reading this*
*producer yells cut and start bitching about the script, Dan BANS him,
then GR & Panos beat him up. Story continues officially without a
script*
GR: Look over there at the produce section, it's a computer.
Dan: Anyone making a fruit or vegetable joke will be BANNED.
Panos: Son of a bitch!
GR: No one is here. What is the point of this adventure?
Panos: There is never a point, but I just got an idea.
*drops orange on the keyboard, this appears: olujmn*
Panos: Hmmmm
GR: So a fruit has been posting?
Dan: Excuse me.
GR: You burped?
Dan: No.
GR: You're excused.
*something rolls by*
Dan: You just see something roll by?
Panos: Chris Reeve?
Dan: Nah, too short, and too red.
GR: There's a joke about that.
Dan: Moving on.
GR: There's another joke.
Dan; Jokes? A man walks into a bar. OUCH!
*tomato hits Dan*
GR: Kick ass Panos.
Panos: I didn't do it.
Dan: Someone wants to be BANNED.
*gets angry*
GR: Now you're red Dan.
Dan: I...WI-
Panos: HEY!
Dan: Oh yeah, forgot. But if you guys didn't do it, then who did?
GR: You're doing it again.
Dan: What?
GR: Talking.
*tomato flies at GR, but he moves out of the way, Dan gets hit again*
Dan: What is going on?
Panos: I saw this in a movie; it was Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.
Tomato: It's about time you idiots figured it out.
GR: They talk?
Panos: Maybe they evolved.
GR: Oh no, now this sounds like JP///.
Tomato: AH! That movie sucked.
Panos: See that unemployed guy, he made a site dedicated to it.
Tomato: He must pay.
Dan: I can BAN you Mr. Tomato.
Tomato: I'm shaking in my boots.
Dan: You're not wearing boots.
Tomato: You're not wearing pants.
Dan: I wasn't wearing pants when I got here, and I'll be damned if
I'm wearing pants when I leave here.
*tomato begins chasing Dan*
Dan: Oh no, he's about to catch up.
GR: Ok, after that bad joke I'm now rooting for the tomato.
Panos: I should throw some tomatoes at him, either way it's a win. I
mean if the hit and explode the tomato is done and Dan gets all dirty,
and if I miss, the tomato will get up and chase him.
Dan: AHHHHHHH!
Panos: Can this get any better?
*Killer Clowns From Outer Space arrive*
GR: Kick ass. I wonder if there are any Carnosaurs around.
*nothing happens. GR has a sad look on face, but clown makes a shadow
T-Rex and everyone is happy*
Panos: Like you said, can this get any better?
GR: Yeah, the tomato could catch Dan.
Dan: Everyone in this place is so BANNED when I get on the computer.
*clowns get their popcorn guns and start shooting, everyone dives onto
the floor*
GR: This isn't good, we need a plan.
Panos: Watch this.
*starts eating popcorn and tomato, but this won't do*
GR: I have an idea. Hey clowns, those tomatoes said they could out
smart you any day.
*Clown makes angry face*
GR: Hey tomato, see that clown's nose, he said it's your mother.
*tomato growls and leaps at clown, hangs on to its nose*
GR: And for the finale. Clowns, smash those tomato bastards.
*Clowns begin head butting, crushing the tomatoes as well as their
noses, they vaporize, leaving only crushed tomatoes*
Dan(out of breath): Don't think I'm not going to BAN all those clowns
and tomatoes just because they no longer exist, and just because you
two saved me doesn't mean you won't be BANNED.
Panos: Dan, how about you BAN use from this A&P?
Dan: Fair enough. You guys should go, it'll be awhile for me to get
the names of all these clowns and tomatoes.
Everyone(laughing at him, not with him): HAHAHA!
LATER
Dan actually got all of their names and BANNED them. They never
returned, but it's because they are filming sequels, not because Dan
BANNED them, but why ruin his fun?
General Rancor started watching RAPTOR! and it kicks ass. He snuck
back into the A&P just to defy Dan. He typed this story in a rush and
was heard to be bitching that the next one would be better.
Panos also watched RAPTOR! and snuck back into the A&P. He later read
this story and said GR needs better endings. GR REFUSED!
THE END
7/12/2002 12:21:48 AM
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