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    #313
    Jeff Goldblum said "Uh" 73 times in JP and TLW. (And yes, 'Chaos Edge CZ/Acrocanthosaur' actually counted.)
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    Adventures of Spiderman
    By DreamerGirl

    Adventures of Spiderman



    Peter Parker walks with Mary Jane to the library.

    "I know you will make it MJ!" Peter
    "Thank you Peter!" MJ blows a kiss to Peter Parker as she walks into the library

    Peter looks around to see if anyone is looking and shoots out webbing and jumps on top of the building, and puts on his costume.

    "I am Spider-man!" Spiderman yells as he jumps over several buildings to a crime scene

    A tall black man runs off with a lady's purse and Spider-man shoots his webbing at the Purse and jumps to the old lady.

    "I'm afraid you lost this ma'am?" Spider-man jumps up and leaves as fast as he arrives

    "T… Thank you Spider-man!" The old lady yells out




    A man in a dark blue robe walks by 3 tied up women.

    "Well Yuna! No one can save you know! This bubble is Magic proof, summon proof, and Grenade proof!" Seymour forms a small orb of ice in the palm of his hand

    Rikku struggles to break loose, but the bind-rope gets stronger and stronger each twist and turn she makes. Yuna reaches for her staff, but could not reach.

    "I have nothing to do with you so when Auron and Tidus come, freedom will be yours! What I want lies behind the portals of Spira, the realm of Earth!" Seymour slashes the air with a purple crystal and the portal is revealed

    Seymour walks through the portal and the bind is broken. Yuna runs through the portal before it closes.

    "Oh no! What do we do?" Rikku panics
    "Nothing now… We need to find Auron." Lulu calmly says



    "Dad! You're … the Green Goblin?" Harry yells confusingly
    "Yes Harry. It's true." Norman Osborn replies softly
    "Kill Spider-Man!" Harry walks up to his room


    Norman gets into the Green Goblin costume and mode, and blasts off on his glider.
    The Green Goblin sees a man at the top of the statue of liberty and pulls out two pumpkin bombs. As he gets closer, the glider starts to malfunction and he gets forced into a land.

    "Who are you?" Green Goblin asks, ready to throw the bombs
    "I am Maester Seymour Guado! Of Guadosalam and you?" Seymour replies with an evil smirk
    "I'm the Green Goblin! Hahaha!" Green Goblin yells as he whips the pumpkin bombs

    The two bombs freeze into ice and fall to the ocean. They blowup the statue of liberty's right toe. A demon-like creature forms above the Green Goblin and reaches inside his body.

    "Argh!" Green Goblin moans in pain





    "Calling Eagle 1, this is eagle 2!" RE radio waves Dino-Snore
    "This is Eagle 1! What's up?" Dino-Snore replies
    "We have a goblin!" Resident Evil answers

    Two jets fly towards the Green Goblin, which is terrorizing the visitors of the Statue of liberty. Spider-Man arrives and the jets lure the Green Goblin to the city. Spider-Man kicks down the Green Goblin and blasts off with the Goblin's glider.

    "Wahoo!" Spider-man yells, but then a pumpkin bomb blows up and Spider-Man falls to the ground


    As Spider-Man falls, the Green Goblin jets away on his glider. Spider-man shoots out his webbing before he hits the ground. Spider-Man crawls up the skyscraper to give the pilots an ok signal.




    "Hey MJ!" Harry greets Mary Jane at the library
    "Oh, hey Harry!" MJ greets Harry with a smile
    "So what are you up to?" Harry closes MJ 's book
    "I'm studying. And I would like to keep studying. Harry, please?" Mary Jane reopens the book
    "Whatever!" Harry walks out the door mad


    Peter walks in and greets Mary Jane. The two walk out together with a few books. Has they step off the stairs, the Green Goblin gets blasted into a skyscraper. Peter runs to the bathroom and changes, then takes the back door out so Mary Jane does not find out. Spider-Man jumps onto the skyscraper and suddenly a man in blue levitates to the scene.

    "Time to die Goblin!" Seymour sighs
    "Who are you?" Spider-Man asks
    "Does everyone have to ask the same questions?" Seymour sighs madly

    The clouds quickly darken and a single lightning bolt strikes the skyscraper.

    "The lives of innocents will die because of your actions Green Goblin!" Seymour yells over the thunder

    The Green Goblin throws a pumpkin bomb at Seymour, but Seymour disappears before it could hit. The Green Goblin kicks Spider-Man into a room and jets away on his glider.

    "Spider-Man! Watch out!" Mary Jane screams as a pumpkin bomb is whipped at Spider-Man

    Spider-Man shoots his webbing and swings to the bombs and kicks them into the air. The bombs blow up. Spider-Man swings away and Mary Jane runs into the library. Peter walks out of the bathroom and listens too MJ 's story all the way to her house.

    "He was magnificent! But who was that other person?" Mary Jane blabs on with excitement

    "Magnificent huh? Hehe!" Peter stares at Mary Jane "Well… this is it!" They reached their houses

    "Goodnight Peter Parker." Mary Jane kisses Peter on the cheeks
    "Goodnight." Peter smiles and gazes at her

    Peter races into his house and runs upstairs "Yes!" he screams as he runs by his aunt May.



    Norman Osborn puts on his oxygen suit and walks into the hyper chamber of Re Gen. Dr.Stromm gives Norman a vile of blood and a vile of spider poison from the same spider that bit Peter Parker.


    "This is a vile of Spider-Man's blood! We will clone the powers of Spider-Man and create John Gravis, also known as, Carnage!" Dr.Stromm takes the vile and walks to the cloning machine

    After placing the vile into the cloning machine, Dr.Stromm blends the poison with John's blood. The man starts to go into violent convulsions and the test tube shatters.

    "No!" Norman Osborn runs away from the scene
    "Carnage! Speak to me!" Dr.Stromm walks in front of the broken tube

    Carnage rips off Dr.Stromm's torso and jumps out of the building.




    "What is this place?" Yuna looks around and sees cars, tourists, and stores
    "Yama-ta-soshi!" A Japanese lady slaps Yuna across the butt "Oh! Yummy yummy!"
    "Bitch!" Yuna covers her mouth "Where did that come from?" Yuna runs away
    "Gibby me titty licky!" The lady chases Yuna




    "I'm just a dreamer! I'm just a dreamer, who dreams of better days. I watch the sun go down like everyone of us, I'm hoping that the dawn will bring a sign- What in the devil's name is that thing?" Ozzy and the rest of the crowd look up to a four- armed monster holding a baby in one hand and Mary Jane in the other. Spider-Man shoots his webbing near Carnage and jumps to the building.

    "What the hell is that!" Spider-Man yells at the Green Goblin
    "This, Spider-Man is your killer! You have choice, the innocent baby, or your love!" Green Goblin arrives behind Carnage on his glider
    "Don't do it what-ever you are!" Spider-Man tries to convince Carnage
    "Bye bye!" Carnage drops MJ and the baby

    Spider-Man jumps down and catches the baby, then webs MJ, and jumps to the next building.



    "Holy shit Sharon! This town fucking rocks!" Ozzy says to his wife Sharon Osbourne "Rock 'n' roll Spider-Man!"



    "Spider-Man… you saved me!" MJ kisses Spider-Man and then police men escort her and the baby back to ground

    Spider-Man shoots out his webbing to the next building and leaves. MJ runs to her house with excitement.



    Tyrannorex112 puts the bullets into his shotgun and shoots the head off a Carnage poster. The bullet hits right through the crotch. Tyrannorex blows the smoke away and walks into a dark alley, close to the first Carnage sighting.


    "Who am I?" John Gravis looks into the mirror "What am I?"
    "You're better than Spider-Man! You are the ultimate villain, not hero! You are Carnage!" Norman Osborn walks into the room
    "What did you do to me? I don't want to hurt Spider-Man, he helps all them people!" John turns off the sink
    "But do you know who he wants to hurt? You! That's why you must kill him before he kills you Carnage!" Norman goes to put his hand on John's shoulder

    John pushes Norman through the door and jumps out the window and turns to Carnage. Norman wipes off the blood from his lip and gets back on his feet. Norman runs to the window and looks for Carnage.

    "You're my creation John! And you will kill Spider-Man!" Norman yells out to Carnage

    Carnage jumps over to the statue of liberty and looks out to the see.

    "Don't you dare move a muscle!" Tyrannorex puts the gun to Carnage's head

    Carnage pushes Tyrannorex off the statue, but jumps down to save him. As he jumps, Tyrannorex shoots the bullets, all missing Carnage.

    "Who am I!" Carnage turns back into John Gravis
    "Don't hurt me! Please! I was sent to kill you…" Tyrannorex covers his head
    "Kill you? Am I truly a murderer? Truly a villain?" John whispers softly

    John drops Tyrannorex into the water and jumps in him self, swimming to shore faster than a dolphin could ever. John starts to turn to Carnage and he jumps up to a skyscraper and searches for Spider-Man.

    "I must kill Spider-Man!" Carnage whispers to himself "The only way to stop my suffering!"

    Carnage jumps from skyscraper to skyscraper searching for the elusive Spider-Man.


    Peter Parker closes his Kaufman Revealed book and puts on his Spider-Man costume. Peter jumps out the window and crawls up MJ 's house.


    "Bitch! Just because you got a job don't mean shit! You still have to clean here woman!" Her fat father yells

    "Leave me alone!" Mary Jane runs away

    "Where are you going? Can I come for a few minutes?" Spider-Man calls out to MJ
    "Spider-Man!" Mary Jane yells out
    "Shh… not too loud." Spider-Man whispers as he jumps near Mary Jane
    "Oh sorry!" MJ apologizes
    "You know, it's not easy being Spider-Man! There's so many crimes, yet only one me!" Spider-Man blabs on " This is my gift, my curse."
    "Well, Spider-Man, I think you do a great job at being out hero!" MJ encourages Spider-Man
    "Well… I have one fan" Spider-Man winks at MJ
    "Yeah I guess so! You have a whole city of fans!" Mary Jane stops and looks at Spider-Man "Who are you?"
    "I have to go… Crime is calling" Spider-Man jumps up onto the roof of a building and jumps to a crime seen a block away


    "Lulu! Yuna hasn't come back, neither has Tidus or Auron!" Rikku starts to harshly panic
    "Stay calm!" Lulu calmly says
    "Easy for you to do!" Rikky mouths off


    Yuna shoots the fat Japanese lady with a rice gun and takes a train to New York. Seventy Japanese men try to rape Yuna, but she summons her aeon Valefor to protect her.


    Carnage jumps to the scene and throws Spider-Man into an apartment. Carnage jumps into the room after Spider-Man.

    "Help me Spider-Man! Who am I? Why am I here?" Carnage turns into John Gravis and then back into Carnage "No! I…Can't Control…it…." Carnage drops to the ground

    Spider-Man helps up John Gravis, suddenly John uses his poison webbing and jumps out the window. Spider-Man watches with confusion.

    "Dr.Osborn!" Spider-Man thinks aloud


    "Goblin! I want to finish this! I will have your head!" Seymour yells to the Green Goblin
    "Ahaha! Come and get me Maester!" Green Goblin yells as he jets off on his glider

    Seymour stops the glider with his mind and brings it to him.

    "Your good, but not that good! Tomorrow evening we will have the final battle!" Green Goblin pleads
    "Fine… Tomorrow, you and many other innocents will die!" Seymour kills a child for the hell of it with his mega death power
    "I'll be back Maester! Ahahaha!" Green Goblin jumps on his glider and blasts away


    Seymour looks at the sky as it turns blackish purple.

    "Tomorrow, death will come to millions! Goblin!" Seymour whispers


    Spider-Man chases the Green Goblin from building to building, until he jumps onto the glider. The Green Goblin pushes down Spider-Man and grabs Mary Jane, along with a tram of 10 children.

    "Don't Green Goblin!" Spider-Man yells
    "Pick Spider-Man! These kids, or Mary Jane?" Green Goblin yells
    "I am Spider-Man and I save people, countless people, but don't do this Green Goblin! Don't!" Spider-Man tries to communicate with the Green Goblin

    Green Goblin drops Mary Jane and the kids. Spider-Man catches the both of them with his webbing and the tram, filled with kids, still falls. Spider-Man webs it to a bridge and then jumps on the bridge.

    "No Spider-Man!" Mary Jane yells as the children scream
    "Ahaha! There is already a bomb in that tram Spider-Man! Die! Ahaha!" the Green Goblin glides off with MJ

    The tram blows up and so does the bridge. Seventeen cars, a bus, and a truck fall into the ocean and explode. Spider-Man swings, from his webbing, to the Statue of Liberty and watches the explosion, sadly knowing he couldn't help the children. After realizing that Mary Jane has been taken away, Spider-Man searches for the Green Goblin.


    "Spider-Man will kill you Green Goblin!" Mary Jane slaps the Green Goblin
    "I doubt that!" Green Goblin kicks Mary Jane

    The Green Goblin jumps out of the building as Mary Jane falls through the floor. As Mary Jane falls, Green Goblin throws two pumpkin bombs on the first floor.

    "Haha! Spider-Man! Once Mary Jane falls, BOOM!" Green Goblin laughs at Spider-Man
    "Mary Jane!" Spider-Man yells

    Mary Jane grabs the windowsill of the second floor apartment room. She jumps at the glider and low blows the Green Goblin. Carnage grabs Mary Jane and jumps to the side of a building.

    "Let go of me!" Mary Jane kicks Carnage in the nuts and drops to the ground
    "I was helping!" Carnage screamed

    Spider-Man saves Mary Jane by shooting his webbing and catching her. Green Goblin jets to Carnage and slaps him in the face.


    "Oooo Yeah!" Bone Saw Mcgraw screams

    "Stop this pathetic hero act! You're evil Carnage! We villains created to so you could kill Spider-Man! Look how people are treating you, yet your helping them! Turn to the side of darkness!" Green Goblin explains
    "Is this true? Is it true?" Carnage screams
    "It is always true Carnage!" Green Goblin says to Carnage
    "I will have my revenge for being created! I will have my revenge on the world! I am Carnage and I will create chaos! Arrrrhhhhgggg!" Carnage screams as he jumps away

    Maester Seymour levitates to the scene and Green Goblin pulls out several pumpkin bombs. Seymour grabs the pumpkin bombs with his mind and whips them at Spider-Man.

    "Woah!" Spider-Man dodges the bombs
    "Prepare for final battle!" Green Goblin yells out

    Green Goblin kicks Maester Seymour into the statue of liberty and then turns to Mary Jane.

    "Come on my pretty! You shall die first!" Green Goblin grabs Mary Jane by the hair


    Spider-man grabs Mary Jane and escapes, as Seymour arrives.



    "I want to become a Jedi!" Tyrannorex112 yells out
    "But Jedi people don't exist!" General Thade says
    "Yeah freak!" General Goldrex slaps Tyrannorex

    Tyrannorex112 kicks Goldrex in the nuts and runs to Dr.Tromms lab. Tyrannorex112 cut's his wrist and pours some blood into the cloning machine, as he climbs up into the tube, gases surround him. He pushes the button and he starts to convulse.

    "Nooo!" Luke Skywalker112 screeches at the top of his lungs

    The tube implodes and Luke Skywalker112 drops to the ground motionless. A blue light saber turns on and Luke jumps to his feet.

    "I, am a Jedi! Yes! I'm a Jedi Knight!" Luke Skywalker112 looks at himself in the mirror

    Luke wipes the blood from his wrist and climbs down the lab window with a rope. Luke searches for the Green Goblin, light saber in hand.



    Green Goblin jumps onto the statue of liberty with MJ in hand.

    "Let go you green booger!" Mary Jane screamed

    Seymour raises into the sky and grabs a comet. Then throws it at the statue of liberty.

    "Death awaits you!" Seymour yells

    The comet hits the statue and it explodes. Green Goblin holds Mary Jane in front of him as they fall in front of the statues floating arm.

    "Rise demons of the deep! The Goblin is who you seek!" Maester Seymour resurrects two Megalodon sharks

    The sharks swim towards the Green Goblin and Mary Jane. Mary Jane tries to swim to shore, yet is too slow. Dino-Snore is blasted near the beach from the impact, as he wakes up, he yells to Mary Jane to swim faster. Carnage jumps on top of Goldrex and they start to fight.

    "Help! This is Eagle 1! Send in the tanks! Now now now!" Dino-Snore yells at the army from the phone

    Tanks arrive, but Seymour blows them up, killing many people. Green Goblin jumps on his glider and rides away to Seymour. Mary Jane crawls into Dino-Snore's arms and faints. Luke Skywalker112 goes to attack Seymour, but Seymour freezes Luke Skywalker112 and kicks him into the ocean.

    "Death will soon come to everyone!" Maester Seymour yells out as lightning strikes him
    "Hey Blue!" Spider-Man yells out "It's Death to Smoochey!" Spider-Man kicks Seymour into the water
    "Come on Spider-Man! Let's rock!" Green Goblin throws pumpkin bombs at Spider-Man, yet misses

    Spider-Man shoots webbing at Seymour and suddenly one of the other trade centers still standing, falls on top of him. Green Goblin grabs Mary Jane and kicks Dino-Snore into the ocean. RE chases Green Goblin from the ground, shooting him with his shotgun. Goldrex jumps on another glider and pulls out several grenades. As Goldrex throws the grenades at Green Goblin and Mary Jane, and Green Goblin fall off the glider.

    "We will both die! Ahahaha!" Green Goblin pulls Mary Jane in front of him
    "Spidey-Poo!" Mary Jane screams out

    Carnage saves Mary Jane and the grenades explode on top of the Green Goblin. Silence fills the smoke air. Seymour rises from the wreckage.

    "I'm out of here!" Seymour disappears

    "Goblin! I know who you are!" Spider-Man yells out "Seymour!"

    Seymour takes off the Goblin mask and grabs Mary Jane. Seymour pulls out a knife and holds it to her throat.

    "Seymour!" Tidus yells
    "I'm already dead! Only Yuna can send me to the far plane!" Seymour yells out to Tidus

    Seymour cuts Mary Jane's throat and jumps to Spider-Man.

    "Sin!" Tidus yells
    "Yes! I will become Sin and kill you all! Ahaha! Sin!" Seymour yells, standing on the statue remains

    Medics arrive and rush Mary Jane into a helicopter. It lifts off, but Carnage jumps onto the landing poles and shoots poison webbing at Spider-man.

    "Must kill Spider-Man!" Carnage screams as he jumps in front of Spider-Man

    The two fight harshly, suddenly a huge beast is dimly seen, but is heading toward Seymour. The sky turns orange-purple and red lightning strikes the city. A single lightning bolt strikes the helicopter and it crashes into an apartment, blowing up instantly.

    "Mary Jane!" Spider-Man screams

    Carnage kicks Spider-Man off the building and Sin draws closer to Seymour.

    "I'm getting weaker… Yes! I'm becoming Sin!" Seymour yells

    Carnage shoots poison webbing at Seymour and whips him into a building. Yuna runs to the statue remains and does her sending ritual. Sin turns into a million spirits and Seymour dissolves into the air. Spider-Man runs away into the darkness.
    Sith Bish jumped out of the apartment, before the first floor collapses.


    "Mary Jane…." Spider-Man takes off his mask and walks home

    The night turns to normal and medics, fire trucks, policemen, ambulances arrive.
    The night goes on, and the chaos ends. The Megs dissolve into the waters and Tyrannorex112 walks out from the deep.



    Peter Parker walks into the hospital and rushes to the office desk.

    "Do you have a patient name Mary Jane Watson?" Peter asks the lady
    "No… she died in the helicopter crash." The lady gives Peter a newspaper, the crash being the first page.

    Peter runs away.

    The End

    5/26/2002 1:21:31 PM

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