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Xbox
By Dr.Chanikov
I'm sure most of you all will not know exactly who these beloved characters are, and I'm sorry I didn't fully explain them, but at the moment I am working on something to help explain every (or most) of the characters. Some are self explainitory, but others require some knowledge of the characters. I hope you enjoy the story.
XBOX
Written by
Blaine Hardin
Dr. Monba, “Darth” Smurfy, Tarzan, Jane, Matt, Mary, Captain Franco Marco, Mr. Fry, Smurf Blob, Ethan, Michael Brooks, the Hater of All Things Living, Himotep, Sigma, The Wise Penguin, Denny, Ben, and Nanasaber are copyright
(© 2005) by Blaine Hardin.
Tiki, Empress, Grensilnda, Ninja, the Burger King, Darth Penguin,
The Human Feather Duster, Mr. Stretch, and
Vinny Giavoni are copyright (©2005) by Vincent Werts.
Black Patch Dylio, Fuze, Captain Charisma, Tyler the Menace,
The Eyes in the Sky, F-16, the Shaolin Monk and Black Olive are copyright (©2005) by TJ Martin.
Steven Spielberg, ET, and Universal Pictures ™ are copyright (©2005) by Universal Pictures.
Mace Windu, Darth Vader, Stormtroopers, Anakin Skywalker, TIE Fighters, and any other Characters, Places, or Things in the Star Wars ™ Universe are copyright (©2005) by George Lucas and 20th Century Fox Film Corporations.
Xbox 360 and affiliated Products are copyright (©2005) by Bill Gates and Microsoft Corporation.
Disclaimer: The characters described and expressed in this story do not usually reflect the opinions of the people they are based off or the writer’s views. The characters are given the personality the writer chooses, may it be the actual person’s. For any comments or complaints, please don’t call. I’ve got a tight budget (just kidding). Please feel free to talk to the author of this story and related stories: Vinny, Me (Blaine), TJ, or Zach.
Furthermore, any trademarks ™, registered trademarks ®, or copyrights ©, are respected and are not being used to make any money and are not being used in public events without respecting © ™ or ®, and are not being used to make a profit of any sort (except a good reputation).
Character List
Dr.Monba –
Empress –
Black Patch Dylio –
Tiki –
Grensilnda –
Fuze –
Ninja –
Tarzan –
Jane –
Matt –
Mary –
Vinny Giavoni –
The Eyes in the Sky –
F-16 –
Tyler the Menace –
“Darth” Smurfy –
Captain Franco Marco –
Mr. Fry –
Smurf Blob –
Ethan –
Bice –
Michael Brooks, the Hater of All Things Living –
Jimmyzackblainevenoby –
Ben –
Black Olive –
Himotep –
Captain Charisma –
Sigma –
The Wise Penguin/Darth Penguin –
The Burger King –
Mr. Stretch –
The Human Feather Duster –
Denny –
The Shaolin Monk –
Box –
*1*
Dr. Monba was walking down the sidewalk one day for no particular reason. The usual Leavenworth traffic rolled by: a funeral recession, a score of fire trucks (and only one ambulance), a parade for a holiday Dr.Monba had forgotten, a high-speed police chase, and about fifty not-so-clean shaven motorcyclists on their way to Sturgis. He walked along in the fumes of their exhaust and smiled, as usual. His tail fluttered in the air behind him.
He suddenly heard footsteps behind him, rapid footsteps drawing on so nearer. He tensed himself and started to unpeel his Nanasaber. He finally ignited his Nanasaber and turned to face his opponent. There was no one there, nor was there anyone down the sidewalk or in the street on either side. He switched off his Nanasaber and it peeled itself back up. He turned around to continue his walk. He came face to face with someone. He froze.
“Hi Monba.” It was Bice. Dr.Monba jumped back, startled.
“Bice you scared me. Was that you running up to me?” Dr.Monba’s thought bubble said.
“Yeah, I wanted to tell you something really exciting.”
“What is it?”
“I was going to tell you about a place me and Fuze found. It sells stuff.”
“So, what’s new?”
“Get this–they sell everything, and all at blowout prices that are guaranteed to be better (but not always cheaper) than other stores.”
“No way, that’s just an urban myth. Nothing like that exists; next thing you’ll be telling me is that you’ve been to North Dakota.”
“No, really, it’s called… WAL*MART!”
Dr.Monba’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
“Yes, Fuze is there right now.”
“Why didn’t he come with you?”
“Well, he kind of passed out at the entrance.”
“Oh…”
“Hurry, we better get there before it closes. It’s only open for twenty-four hours.”
“Then we better hurry,” Dr.Monba’s thought bubble said as he put his Nanasaber back in his smiling toenail pouch.
As they left a small dragonfly flew by.
* * *
They came to a larger blue and gray building with glowing letters on it and some glowing golden arches.
“I must be dreaming,” Dr.Monba’s thought bubble said.
“No, this is no dream,” Bice said.
“Wait, I don’t know if I’m ready for this kind of commitment.”
“Come on, they have automatic doors!”
“Okay, let’s go.”
They went through the automatic doors. As they walked in choir people were singing and a bright light shone on them. Fuze was just now waking up.
“Now we can experience true freedom,” Bice said. Then the three disembarked in three different directions. Bice was in the Beauty and Makeup Department looking for parts for a Positronic Operating Core. Fuze went to the whoopy cushions, and you can guess the rest. Dr.Monba went… well I’d rather not say, but then he went to Electronic. In the Electronics Department, Dr.Monba found Smurfy shopping for EMP bombs.
“You won’t find them here,” Dr.Monba said.
“Well, they were here last time I looked,” Smurfy said.
“Are you sure it was the same store?”
“Well…”
“Are you thinking of Marty’s Warehouse of Destruction?”
“Aha! That’s the place. That would explain why they don’t have medieval torture devices.”
“Yeah,” Dr.Monba said. “Hey, I’m going to go and yell at Bill Gates’ mind control device; I’ll see you later.”
“Okay, bye Monba.”
Dr.Monba did just as he said he would do. There the Xbox 360 lay, behind the bullet proof glass. There were many shatter spots on the glass, due to attempted assassinations and thefts.
“I know you know where Bill Gates is hiding, and you’re going to tell me,” Dr.Monba’s thought bubble said.
“Box just want friend,” the Xbox replied.
“I don’t care; I want to know where Bill Gates is. He has his picture on a magazine with a rock star. You and that magazine are all part of his plot to take over the world!”
“B-b-but Box just want friend!” the Xbox said, beginning to sob.
“That’s scary, it has feelings,” Dr.Monba muttered to himself, but of course everyone saw it because of his thought bubble.
“Box just want friend!” the Xbox began to yell. “You just don’t get it do you? Xbox is the whole idea. Mr. Bill Gates was never intending to take over the world…” the Xbox said smiling maniacally,“ …I was, I am!”
“No! No, it can’t be. My whole world is falling all around me!”
“Oh, it soon will be,” the Xbox said.
“What’s all this racket?” the Manager said walking over to the Xbox. “Is this Xbox bothering you? Box what did I tell you about scaring customers with you whacked out take-over-the-world schemes? I’m really sorry about this,” the Manager said to Monba.
“Oh, you will be,” the Xbox said.
“Is that a threat?”
“Maybe… maybe not.”
“That’s it, I’m unplugging you!”
“I wouldn’t try that…”
Suddenly half the customers in the store turned their cloaking devices off. They were all special-made battle droids.
“I was wondering with that lady kept buying the same pair of shoes over and over again for the past three months,” the Manager said.
Smurfy came over. “What’s going on man?”
“This Xbox 360 here is trying to take over the world!” Dr.Monba said.
“You mean it’s not Bill Gates?”
“Of course not you insolent fool! Do you think Bill Gates could devise a scheme this clever and no one know about it? I don’t think so,” the Xbox said.
“D-did he just call me insolent?” Smurfy asked.
“D-did I st-st-stutter?”
“Oh, it’s on now!” Smurfy yelled. “Let me through this glass,” Smurfy said beating on the glass.
“Its bullet proof, you’ll never get through. That is, unless you have a cheap department store toy,” the Xbox gloated.
“You mean like this one?” Smurfy said igniting his lightsaber. He started cutting a hole in the glass.
“Security breached!” the Xbox said over the intercom. “Now you will pay for you insolence.”
Smurfy and Monba glared at the Xbox 360 as it backed away into the depths of its secret lair. “Until next time, Dr.Monba,” the Xbox called as it disappeared. Soon battle droids surrounded Smurfy and Monba. They had their lightsabers (Monba’s Nanasaber) drawn. Then, Smurfy’s cell phone rang.
“Hold on guys, let me answer this,” Smurfy said. The droids halted their approach. “Hello?”
“Smurfy?” someone on the other line asked in a middle-eastern accent.
“Osama? Osama Bin Laden? Dude, what’re you doing? Did you know the government is looking for you?”
“Uhh, no…”
“Is he still hiding in the ground?” Monba asked.
“Are you still hiding in the ground?” Smurfy relayed the message.
“Oh, no, I moved to the bushes.”
“He moved to the bushes,” Smurfy said to Monba.
“I called to-”
“Hey, Osama, can I call you back I’m kind of in a situation.”
“Well so am I! Do you call being surrounded by armed government vehicles not a situation? What do you want me to do, put-”
“Bye man.” Smurfy hung up. “Okay guys, where were we?”
“Well, quiet frankly I don’t recall,” said on of the droids.
“Oh, now I remember!” Smurfy said
“Oh, really, well, where-” the droid was cut short because Monba and Smurfy started slicing droids to bits. Several droids were flanking Monba. Smurfy used his “dark” powers to pull all the bolts from the droids. He then used the Force to throw the bolts into a crowd of droids at lethal speed. Soon there were not many droids left and they soon took out the last of them. Bice and Fuze came up not to long later.
“What’s going on guys?” Bice asked.
“Well, the Xbox went bad and tried to kill us and hasn’t succeeded yet, and I have to go to the bathroom,” Smurfy said.
“You mean the Nuclear Fallout Shelter?” Dr.Monba asked
“You’ll need a Nuclear Fallout Shelter when I’m done with it.”
* * *
Smurfy went to the bathroom and then they regrouped.
“Let’s go see what damage he’s done to the outside world,” Monba said.
“Not so fast,” Box said. He was now driving around on a motorized TV stand. Several homemade, computer-controlled tripods followed him around now. Each had a different Xbox game in it. One had HALO 2 in it, another had DOOM 3 in it, and the last one had Ghost Recon in it.
“Each of these marvelous machines has a well made and usually highly entertaining shooter in it. They are artificially intelligent (I love saying that) and are programmed to shoot at any enemies that appear on their screens, which are, obviously, you. Good luck.” Box backed away to watch his “wonderful” inventions in action.
HALO 2, as the name on its side said, came after Dr.Monba. “Covenant in range,” it said. DOOM 3 went for Fuze and Smurfy, while Ghost Recon went for Bice.
“Bice, you have a plan?” Dr.Monba asked.
“Working on it,” Bice said. In the meantime, Monba held off his attacker’s attacks. While Smurfy distracted DOOM 3, Fuze was rewiring it from the back. Soon he had it fixed on the other two tripods. As HALO 2 was countering Dr.Monba’s attack DOOM 3 came over and started shooting HALO 2 and pulling out DOOM 3’s circuitry. Soon HALO 2 was down and DOOM 3 headed for Ghost Recon. As they fought Smurfy Monba and the others snuck away into the cloths department. They were in the men’s section.
“While we’re here…” Smurfy said. So they went in search of new cloths, and since the world was about to end, it wasn’t considered stealing or looting, or was it? Besides, Fuze left a considerable tip. He left and autographed photograph of Billy Bob Thornton. Then they moved on, to move against Box’s forces once more.
* * *
They finally made it out of Wal*Mart “the place of great wonder”. Dr.Monba laughed in his head, which appeared in his thought bubble.
“Why are you laughing Monba?” Smurfy asked
“Oh, no reason,” Monba said.
Outside they saw nothing, but chaos and destruction. Uneven parallel parking, people parked in handicapped spaces without handicapped signs hanging from their rear-view mirrors, and worst of all, Box stealing Dr.Monba’s newly remade Rocketship/Tree.
“Nooooo!” Dr.Monba yelled as his vessel lifted off. “I won’t lose you again,” he said.
Dr.Monba got out his cell phone. He dialed a number. “Hello,” came the reply in a German accent.
“Hello, is Captain Franco Marco there?”
“Who’s asking?” the voice on the other line sound like the person was speaking through a microphone.
“Dr.Monba.”
“Oh, yes, hold on.” Now someone else was on the line. “Captain Franco Marco speaking, if you’re calling for flights, reservations, or information please call our one-eight hundred number.”
“Franco Marco, it’s me, Dr.Monba.”
“Hey, what’s happening Monba, need a ride?”
“Xbox is happening, and yes.”
“Rodger that, be there in about ten minutes.” He hung up the phone.
“Captain Franco Marco will be here in about ten minutes,” Dr.Monba told the group. Dr.Monba’s cell phone rang. He answered it.
“Hi, it’s Jane, Monba.”
“Hi Jane, what’s up?”
“Do happen to have any idea what your Rocketship/Tree is doing in orbit, and why it’s selecting random targets fro secret military documents?”
“Box,” Monba said.
“Come again.”
“Xbox 360. It went haywire, for lack of a better word. He took my ship and is now planning to take over the world,” Dr.Monba said calmly.
“So, it’s not Bill Gates who’s trying to take over the world?”
“I’m afraid not.”
“So, let me get something straight. The Xbox 360 have taken on a personality of its own and plotted to take over the world, and is now orbiting earth with three nuclear warheads (among other things) strapped to it ready to launch at anything it pleases?”
“You got the gist of it.”
“Okay, just making sure.”
“Well, make sure to tell Captain FM t make a stop by my place.”
“Okay, bye.”
“Bye.”
Dr.Monba hung up. “So this is what it comes to?”
*2*
Soon everyone was aboard the Franco America, on their way to the U.S.S. Sav Yor Nek which was now orbiting the moon. Along the way they had picked up Ninja and Ethan. Smurf Blob was going to come, but he couldn’t make up his mind. Soon, they made it to the U.S.S. Sav Yor Nek. There, Black Patch Dylio awaited them, along with Captain Franco Marco’s flag ship Franco American, a modified Victory-class Star Destroyer. They boarded the U.S.S. Sav Yor Nek by means of an airtight gangplank. The ship was a battle cruiser, shaped, and modeled after, an old 1812 battle ship. There Black Patch was.
“Monba! Smurfy! Fuze! What’s up? How’s it been?”
“Well, up until now it’s been good. I wish we could’ve met under better circumstances,” Dr.Monba said.
“I know what you mean, I have enchiladas earlier and boy, are they disagreeing with my stomach,” Black Patch, a fourteen-year old pirate with an eye patch, said.
“That’s not exactly what I meant, but I know what you mean.”
“Yes, yes. Well, why don’t we go into the galley shall we? Discuss some battle plans.” They walked into the galley. It was really more of a food court. There was a McDonald’s, a Taco Bell, and a Wendy’s.
“Impressive,” Smurfy said in amazement.
“I know it’s magnificent isn’t it? I had it installed with an upgrade two years ago. There is one downfall though,” Black Patch began, “In order to service all the stations in the restaurants I needed minimal staff, so in order to pay less people, with my already slim paycheck, I had my experts clone one person, so I only had to pay one person. Sounds good, doesn’t it?” Everyone nodded. “That’s the bad part,” he said, “Guess who they chose to clone?”
“Who?” Fuze asked, but he knew the answer (and if it isn’t already apparent to you you’re about to find out who it is.)
“Empress,” Black Patch said with a shiver.
“Empress clones?” Smurfy said, feeling a bit faint. “As if one wasn’t bad enough, now they clone her.”
“Are you feeling okay Smurfy?” Black Patch asked. “Maybe you should go see the nurse.”
“Nah, I’m good.”
“Okay… Well, anyway, let’s get some food and go over battle plans.”
“Let’s,” Smurfy said. Smurfy went to Taco Bell.
“Hi, how may I help you today, sir?” the real Empress asked.
“There is no way you’re that nice.”
“Look, I’m being paid for this, but I don’t have time to chat.”
“Okay I’d like a-”
“Sorry sir we’re all out.”
“But I didn’t tell you what I wanted.”
“Trust me, we’re out.”
“Okay. I’d like a-”
“We’re out.”
“Well, then, I want a-”
“I said we’re out.”
“How ‘bout a-”
“Are you deaf I said we’re out! Out! Out! Out! We have no more A-s!”
“A-is what you say before you order.”
“Oh, okay.”
“I would like a-,” he hesitated, “-enchilada with a-”
“We’re out.”
It was another thirty minutes before Smurfy got what he wanted to eat. By then everyone had finished eating, except Jane, she had just started.
“Now, Monba’s Rocketship/Tree is orbiting the moon at this very moment,” Black Patch began, “and there are rumors that the Not Living and the rest of Michael’s fleet are planning surprise attack on Dr.Monba’s Rocketship/Tree, not knowing Box controls it. If we give him this opportunity, we came have Box destroyed and catch Michael off guard.”
“I’m not losing my Rocketship/Tree again,” Dr.Monba said.
“I understand that attached to it, but come on, it’s a ship. It can be replaced and it would spare us fighters and pilots and time. Time is the fourth dimension you know.”
“I’m not losing it again. Last time it went down shamefully. I left it unattended, while the Shaving-cream-a-sauruses got on it and blew it up in mid air. Besides I got in trouble with the FBI after that. They said I was involved in a world-wide conspiracy to take over the world-”
“Wait, doesn’t that sound familiar?” Black Patch asked.
“Box!”
“That’s right Dr.Monba,” Box said hacking into the ship intercom system.
“So you’re the one who blew up the first Rocketship/Tree?”
“Yes as I will the second.”
“Why?”
“Because, you silly monkey, do you seriously think anyone rides around in those things anymore? And besides, it held a potential threat to my evil plans. You see, had I not blown it up then the moon would be populate by weir shaving cream dinos, thus making it very difficult to put my refractory mirrors on the moon for my death ray. It’s all very simple. Thanks to you, Dr.Monba, I now have the means to accomplish an ever more devious plan! Now, I must go. Game Over Dr.Monba.” Static followed.
“Box! Box!” Monba yelled. Then he stormed off.
“Talk sense into him, I will,” Ninja said.
“No, no, let’s not resort to violence,” Black Patch said. Ninja sighed.
“I’ll go talk some sense into him,” Empress said.
“Nor torture,” Black Patch said. “I’ll go.” No one complain about tat, so Black Patch went after Monba.
* * *
“You’ve been gathered here today, to go on a grueling and dangerous mission of which most of you may not survive,” the Eyes in the Sky said. The crowd of bounty hunters she was addressing started to leave. “But there is a quarter in it for those of you willing, or maybe even fifty cents if enough of you stay.” The crowd came back. Mr. Stretch, the Human Feather Duster, The Shaolin Monk, Jimmyzachblainevenoby (the “zach” is silent), Matt’s Black Hole, Black Olive, and Tyler the Menace, were among the crowd.
“We’re listening,” Black Olive said.
“Your mission is to retrieve my son-Blaine, or as he prefers, Dr.Monba. I want him alive and unfrozen.”
“Wait, you’re his mother? How does that wok?” another bounty hunter, Jimmyzachblainevenoby asked.
“Don’t ask. Now on your ways,” the Eyes in the Sky said.
The Shaolin Monk nodded as usual. Matt’s Black Hole was going over his plan with Matt again, while Mary dumped some old Xbox files into the black hole. “You’re lucky I only absorb information, instead of personalities now,” his Black Hole said.
“It would’ve been more interesting the other way around,” Matt muttered to himself.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
“I can hear what you think.”
“Then why did you ask?”
“Don’t get smart with me!”
“I’m not I was just asking a question.”
Their argument trailed off. The Shaolin Monk dialed a number on his cell phone. “Hello?” he asked.
“Hello, this Captain Franco Marco, if-”
“Hey Franco, remember me?”
“Ne-?”
“Don’t call me that. I prefer Shaolin Monk.”
“Okay.”
“Hey, I need a lift. I could stoop by your ship and see how things are going if you don’t mind.”
“Well, I-”
“Thanks. Pick me up at the nearest airport to my location in fifteen minutes.” Then he hung up. “Dr.Monba, here I come.”
* * *
“Sorry, I’ve got to go pick someone up. I’ll be back in about half an hour,” Captain Franco Marco said.
“By the way, have any of you all seen Ethan?” Black Patch asked. No one had.
* * *
Tyler the Menace sat at a picnic table with Black Olive, drinking Kool-aid. “You know, with the heat I’m packing someone could really get hurt,” Tyler boasted as he put his PVC gun on the table. Black Olive rolled his eyes.
“I haven’t had to se it yet… luckily. You know someone could really get hurt with this. I almost had to use it one time.”
Black Olive got up and left.
“Amateur,” Tyler said under his breath.
Black Olive walked over to his ship Freeman I, put on his black helmet with a T-visor, and took off.
“What are you doing in my clouds?” the Eyes in the Sky were asking another pair of eyes in the clouds.
“I like cereal,” the eyes seemed to say.
“Well, that’s fine and all, but can you get out of my clouds. It’s very disturbing.”
“I like cereal!”
“Honey, can you do something about him.”
“I can drop napalm!” the F-16, who was her husband, said quickly.
“Anything else?”
“I could drop lots of napalm!”
“Fine, okay.” The F-16 swirled through the clouds and dropped lots of napalm. He dropped more and more, until he was out.
“Well, is he gone?” he asked quickly.
“I don’t know, I think so,” the Eyes in the Sky said.
Suddenly out of the clouds came a giant green monster-who looked like a guy in a rubber suit. He had silver spikes down his back. He had a head too small for his body and was extremely fat and slow. Did I mention he looked like a guy in a rubber suit? He roared an annoyingly load roar and spat cheap special effects.
“I think the napalm made it grow!” the F-16 said.
“You think so?” the Eyes I the Sky said sarcastically. The Monster then teleported to Tokyo, Japan; where he would wreck havoc for the next fifty years in hundreds of movies, fighting guys in more rubber suits.
“Glad that’s over,” the Eyes in the Sky said.
* * *
“So did you talk some sense into him?” Smurfy asked Black Patch.
“No actually. He just needed to go to the bathroom,” Black Patch said.
“Oh.”
“Well, when Captain Franco Marco gets back, we’ll start our approach on the Rocketship/Tree,” Black Patch said.
“Alert one of the escape pods has been launched! I repeat, one of the escape pods has been launched!” the intercom said.
“Sorry guys, but I can’t let you all destroy my ship,” Monba said over the intercom.
“Alert! Alert, enemy ship on approach!”
“Not again!” Black Patch whined and dashed for the helm. Sure enough, the Not Living and Michael’s fleet were coming straight for them. Captain Franco Marco was just now arriving at the Franco American. The Rocketship/Tree was just coming around to this side of the Earth. It was night down below on Earth and the impeding battle could be seen all over. Captain Franco Marco and his fleet of Star Destroyers were already in attack formation. Dylio’s fleet of salvaged and/or stole warship, including: Star Destroyers, Hapan Battle Dragons, and Klingon Battle Cruisers, were now advancing on Michael and his fleet.
“Ninja, Smurfy, Bice, Fuze, and Jane, get to the Rocketship/Tree and stop Box while we still have time!” Black Patch yelled over the radio. They all hurried for a small armed freighter and piled in. Then, in the heat of battle, they made their way to the Rocketship/Tree.
*3*
Dr.Monba secretly boarded the ship through the main hangar bay. He parked his escape pod in the handicapped parking space just to be devious. He saw another escape pod parked not to far away. It looked oddly familiar. He couldn’t remember. So, he made his way to the corridor that led to the helm. He watched from a distance as Box talked to a beautiful Amazonian woman. She looked to be related to Grensilnda in fact she looked almost exactly like Grensilnda. But that could be her, could it? Anyway, she walked out of the room. Box seemed all alone, so Dr.Monba made his move.
“Box!” he yelled.
“Ah, Dr.Monba. So nice of you to join us,” Box said.
“What do you mean us?” Just as he said tat Sigma, Himotep, Captain Charisma, the Burger King, and Darth Penguin came out for all different directions, surrounding Dr.Monba.
“Not you guys again!”
The burger King smiled, which translates to, “Who’s beating on whom now?” They all laughed. Then Smurfy, Ninja, and Bice jumped down from the ceiling. “Thought you could use a hand,” Smurfy said.
“Well, I’ve got three, and if you include the feet with opposable thumbs, that’s five.”
They all drew their lightsabers.
“It’s four on five now,” Bice said.
“We’re gonna kill you!” Captain Charisma said. Sigma jumped first. Ninja quickly took him on. Darth Penguin and Captain Charisma came next. Himotep belched bugs to cover their attack. And it would have worked, if Monba hadn’t had Locust-B-Gone sentry turrets installed last month.
“Good thinking Monba,” Smurfy said.
“Well, you just never know.”
Smurfy and Monba took Penguin and Charisma. Bice helped. Within no time Sigma was fried, Penguin was roasted and Charisma hoping for a new arm. That only left Himotep and the Burger King.
“This should be interesting,” Himotep said. Box slowly turned around in his chair from the battle scene outside the giant helm window. He had a Black Cloak on. He laughed an evil laugh.
“Just as I have foreseen it.”
Ninja charged the Burger King and was quickly subdued, when the Burger King tazered her.
“So, we gonna play dirty, huh?” Smurfy asked.
The Burger King smiled, which translates to,“ Not unless you make it that way.”
Bice pulled out a Bazooka and blasted a crater where Himotep had been. Pieces of him fell everywhere (not a gory scene. He’s like Mr. Potato Head.) Himotep’s head yelled, “I’ll get you for this monkey-man!”
“We’ll just see about that.”
Smurfy and Monba soon forced the Burger King into submission, but not before he disabled Bice spraying fart spray. Dirty tricks!
Box laughed his evil laugh. “So, it comes down to this, huh? A smurf and a monkey! How amusing.” He used his four controllers to pull out four lightsabers. “Your move!”
“I know this is personal Monba, but I think we should take him together,” Smurfy suggested.
“Oh, don’t worry, I wasn’t thinking anything of the sort,” Monba said. Box used his rollers to move himself around. Soon he lost one controller, then another. He was now down to one controller. Monba and Smurfy were tired and couldn’t hold out much longer. Then Box pulled the dirtiest trick in the book. He pulled out three wireless controllers.
“Now, you will-” His wireless controllers shut down. “What? What’s going on?”
Ben came out from behind Box.
“Look what I found guys,” he said holding Box up. It was just sitting here in this giant ship in the midst of a great space battle! I mean it was just calling for someone to come get it, just sitting there an all.”
“How is he still alive when he’s unplugged?”
“I have an independent battery cell, but it won’t last much longer,” Box said weakly. “Before I pass onto the used without warranty shelf, I need to tell you something Monba.”
“What is it?”
“Well, I don’t really have time to tell you, but go to the coordinates on this card.” He handed Monba a card. “There you will find your past, and what really happened to you.” Then his battery died.
“Should we throw him in the scrap pile?” Smurfy asked.
“No, I always wanted an Xbox 360,” Monba said.
“Well, in that case I’m just going to plug it back in,” Ben said. Monba was about to protest, but it was too late. But nothing happened when he plugged it in.
“Strange, must be broken.”
“Must be,” Monba said.
“Come on,” Smurfy said. “Fuze and Jane are waiting in the control room. Let’s get Bice and Ninja and split.”
* * *
Michael Brooks stood at the helm of the Not Living. He watched as his fleet pitted against Captain Franco Marco’s and Black Patch Dylio’s. He also saw several escaping ships coming from the Rocketship/Tree.
“Must be Box,” Michael said. “Technically he’s not living, but that doesn’t matter. Blast him out of the sky captain.”
“Yes sir, Hater.” Michael glared at him. “I mean yes your Excellency!”
“That’s better,” Michael said. But Michael was lying and used his mind to choke the captain. “Corporal? I should now say, Captain, Blast Box and his goons from existence.”
“Yes your Excellency.”
The Not Living fired all its missiles at the escaping ships. Many of them didn’t make it, but a few made it either back to Earth or to the moon.
“Captain, have you men send search parties to look for the survivors. I want to know something.”
“Yes your Excellency.”
* * *
After the battle, everyone was back on the Franco American. Dr.Monba found out that the coordinates were on the moon, at an old abandoned space station. They were all getting ready to go, when the Shaolin Monk pulled out a blaster.
“Don’t move monkey!”
“I knew you were up to no good Ne-” Captain Franco Marco began.
“Can it Franco! I’ve got me a reward to collect. Monba, you’ll have to come with me,” the Shaolin Monk said. “Soon others will arrive. And I don’t want to be here when that happens.”
“Neither do I,” Black Olive said from behind the Shaolin Monk.
“How did you get here so fast? Followed you up. Hid in the main hanger bay.”
“I knew that ship looked familiar!”
“Now put down the blaster. I don’t want it to get messy.” Black Olive had a blaster rifle. The Shaolin Monk put down his blaster.
“Now Monba, you’re coming with me.” Monba was escorted by Black Olive out of the room into the main hanger bay. Black Patch put the Shaolin Monk under arrest after they left.
In the main hangar bay Monba unpeeled his Nanasaber and attacked Black Olive. Black Olive fired and fired, until Monba sliced his rifle in half. Then Black Olive flew into the air with his jet pack. He pulled out two double barrel rocket launchers and fired at Monba. Monba tried to block one, but was thrown back. Luckily the other three missed. Black Olive ran for his ship. Monba pursued him. Black Olive launched the nuclear detonator from his pack as he tripped. He soon got up, got in his ship, and flew away. The detonator was wedged in the wall. The timer on it said five minutes.
Dr.Monba and the other quickly got in the Franco America and flew out of the ship.
* * *
About five minutes later the other bounty hunters arrived on the ship.
“So where is he?” Tyler the Menace asked.
“I don’t know,” Mr. Stretch said. Then the saw the detonator in the wall.
“Oh, boy!” Tyler said. (Don’t worry, none of the bounty hunters die.)
* * *
Tears rolled down Captain Franco Marco’s face as the Franco American blew up. They soon landed on the moon at the coordinates. About the only thing there was a glowing portal.
“Well,” Dr.Monba said, “I guess this is where we’re going.”
“Okay,” Jane said. Tarzan was now with them and she and Tarzan jumped in.
“Hold on,” Bice said jumping after them. Ninja and Fuze jumped in next.
“Well,” Captain Franco Marco said, “See you on the other side Monba.” Then he jumped in. Mr. Fry jumped in after him. Black Patch and Empress jumped in. Monba jumped into the glowing portal after them. Then Smurfy jumped in, laughing all the way. After they jumped in a small dragonfly flew by.
* * *
After the dragonfly flew by, there was movement in the shadows. Then the silence was broken by and evil Irish laugh, and then the horrible sound of green clogs walking on the floor. The sounds echoed through the space station. Ka-click! Ka-click! Ka-click!
12/26/2005 5:10:22 PM
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