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Pokemon vs. Alien vs. Predator part 4
By CeratosPit
Previously on PVAVP
Brock & Togepi died giving birth to mutant Alien Hybrids a minute after getting impregnated, Tracey found a plasma cannon which caused the Pyramid's hall to become a maze and Jesse and James got kidnapped by by Togepi's rapidly maturing offsPring
Now, back to the show!
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*Over in another incubation chamber, Jesse and James are trapped in a slimy adhesive substance on the wall*
Jesse: *reaching for her Pokeballs* James--grr--can you grab your balls?
James: If I could go out that way, I’d die a happy man Jess, but I--
Jesse: Your Pokeballs, Einstein!
James: Oh. Of course. *reaches for his balls* Jesse? If this is the end, I-I feel that it is my obligation to get something off of my chest. I must tell you this.
Jesse: Oh? Well…what is it James?
James: Jessica, I can no longer hide the way that my heart feels. The truth is, I’ve had immensely strong feelings for a long time and up until now, I though it would have been unprofessional of myself to reveal them, most esPecially you as you are my partner and all.
Jesse: *breathlessly* James, are…are you trying to tell me that--?
James: Yes, Jessica! I am, and always have been in love! With Ash’s mom!
*Jesse’s expression of overwhelmed joy transfigures into one of uncomfortable confusion*
Jesse: Ex-squeeze me?
James: I mean, I couldn’t very well tell you that I have been enamored with the mother of our sworn enemy, but hubba-hubba, is she a knockout! And I here she puts out too!
Jesse: *to self* I ought to knock you out and have you put out of misery.
*As is usually it’s habit of making untimely entrances, Jesse’s Wobbuffet pops out of it’s Pokeball*
Wobbuffet: Waahhhhbuh-fett! (I wants me some pizza!)
Jesse: Listen, Wobbuffet! I can’t reach my balls. You’ll have to let everyone out for us.
Wobbuffet: Wobba! Wobba! (You’re fragile communist brains will never attain the glory of my dance-bots! But okay.)
*Wobbuffet releases Jesse’s Seviper and Dustox as well as James’ Cacnea from the balls stuck to their masters*
James: Excellent! Cacnea! Use your Pin--mff!
*Before James could finish his command, a Face-hugger performs the action for which it was named upon him. Cacnea then jumps on the Face-Hugger and hugs them both*
Cacnea: Cacnea! (I wish that I had bigger arms so that I could hug the world!)
Jesse: Seviper! Use your--Agh!
*Jesse falls victim to a face hugger. A moment later, so does her hovering Dustox*
Seviper: Sevvvvvipah! (I don’t like this place. Let’s get pizza.)
Wobbuffet: Fett! (Vive la France!)
Cacnea: Cac! Cac! (Don’t forget me!)
*And so the three Pokemon leave their masters behind in the incubation chamber before the rest of the Face-huggers come out looking for hosts. Elsewhere, Ash and the gang continue to outrun their swarm of Face-huggers when the walls start to move once again and save them from the onslaught. As the kids and Pokemon stand together, they can hear the alien creatures get crushed behind two walls. After all this, they have wound up more lost than before. More than that, however, they are being watched*
Tracey: Well, I think we’ve lost them.
*As Tracey walks, a transParent noose finds it’s way around his neck. A moment later he is yanked off of the ground by the unseen object and ascends into the upper levels of the maze after dropping his plasma cannon into Max’s hands*
Ash: Wow! I didn’t know Tracey could fly.
Meowth: It looked more like he got pulled by some ting. But what?
Ash: Taillow! Fly up there and find out what happened to Tracey!
Taillow: Taillow! (Fine, but only because I actually have a death wish.)
*Taillow flies up into the upper terraces of the hall and disappears into the darkness. A moment later, Tracey’s body swings down from a noose. His skin is completely gone. May screams and runs off*
Meowth: Get her back, Mr. Ketchum!
Ash: *running after May* May! Come back! It’s dead! It can’t hurt you!
Misty: What do you suppose could have done this?
Max: Predators.
Meowth: What predators?
Max: The hieroglyphs. They sPoke of predators coming here every hundred years. So unless it was one of those mutant aliens the Face-huggers give birth to, we’re being hunted.
Pikachu: Pikachu? (And Taillow?)
* A net suddenly dropped down from the upper levels. It had Taillow trapped inside, squeezed to death. Everybody looked up at a balcony to their front where three, tall invisible figures came into view. Down the hall to the right, Ash finally caught up to May. Then, hugging the girl, he tried to calm her down*
Ash: May, stop. I’m sorry about Tracey, I am. But at least his troubles are over.
May: It’s not Tracey. It’s us. We’re trapped in some underground Pyramid all alone where we’re being hunted like things that get hunted by hunters. I don’t want to die down here. I want to die in mid-orgasm.
Ash: What’s mid-orgasm?
May: I’m not sure, but from what I hear it’s the best way to go.
*From the last hall, Ash and May can hear the plasma cannon go off a couple of times and then Max screaming to death. The two hurry over to see what they have missed and run into Meowth, Forretress, Mudkip, Torchic and Treecko fleeing in terror. Upon entering that hall, they can see that Politoed is lying dead in a poopl of blood and water and Max has been impaled upon one of sPears of three tall figures in helmets. The other two are battling Pikachu and Misty’s Staryu*
Misty: Staryu! Use rapid sPin!
*Misty’s starfish Pokemon leaps into the air and sPins with incredible velocity towards one of the Predators. He whips out a metal throwing star and hurls it at the oncoming Pokemon. Staryu is sliced in two by the weapon and either half of it lands at his right and left. The Predator than casually catches his blade as it returns. This Predator is the largest of the three. The one battling Pikachu is obviously the youngest and his stature indicates that he might roughly be the kids’ age. He withstands Pikachu’s voltage and seems to enjoy it. Finally, the Predator that had impaled Max is the leader of the three and walks with a limp after getting shot by Max. His dreadlocks are blue with age, some of them cut off by Tracey’s Scyther in that day’s previous encounter. He is but a moment away from prying the Plasma cannon from the dead boy’s grip when a burst of flames engulfs his massive back. He turns around to see an angered May holding her fire sPewing Torchic in her arms*
May: You rat bastard. I have been telling my bratty little brother that I was going to kill him for years and years. And nobody robs me of my vengeance! Torchic! Flamethrower!
*Torchic fires it’s mightiest Flamethrower at the Predator, but he walks informally towards them apparently immune to the pain. Torchic runs out of firepower soon and looks up to the collected Predator deploy his monstrous metal blades from their sheathe. May realizes, in hindsight, that this was not a smart move and it will probably be her last. But before the Predator can strike her down, she notices a long and sinewy tail tipped with a dagger-like blade dangle behind the Predator and stab him through the back and out the torso*
May: Hmm. Poetic justice.
Torchic: Torchic. (No, I think that that falls under regular irony. Were he impaled by the same sPear he ran though your brother, then it’d be poetic justice. I’m an English major, you know.)
*The impaled Predator rises from the ground to face the creature above which stabbed him in the back. He rises to face Jesse’s Seviper*
Seviper: Sev…sev…(Well, you’re not a pizza, but I am hungry.)
*Seviper eats the dying Predator. Ash reaches the plasma cannon gripped in Max’s cold hands and pulls it out. Then he takes Max’s wallet, deciding the dead boy won’t need it anymore and scrams with Misty and Pikachu at his side*
Misty: This is awful! All of my Pokemon are dead!
Pikachu: Pik! (Damn! Psyduck owed me thirty bucks!)
Ash: We’1l built them a statue! May! Let’s sPlit!
2 B Continued...
9/4/2004 9:58:17 PM
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