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Pokemon vs. Alien vs. Predator part 6
By CeratosPit
Previously on PVAVP...
Misty: I’m gonna make it! I’m gonna--AGH! *sPlat*
*Misty is crushed to death by the ceiling only a few feet away from her friends*
May: So maybe I was right. If we give the Predator it’s weapon back, it’ll sPare us--All we’ve got to do is wait for these walls to open again.
Ash: Huh. What can a boy and girl do in a dark room for seven minutes?
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*Suddenly the grid-faced Alien Togetic drops upon the floor in front of them and roars and claws the air knocking the firearm out of Ash’s grip*
Ash: Everyone get behind me! This thing can’t touch me!
May: Since when?
Ash: A little theory I’ve been working on. At first I thought it was just luck that my dumb ass made it this far but then I realized something. I can’t die here. I’m the main character on this stupid show!
*The Alien shakes it’s gruesome face*
Ash: Huh? What do you mean I’m not!?
*The Alien points to Pikachu*
Ash: Oh shit.
*The Alien grabs Ash and flies off through the tunnel*
May: Ash, no! Come on guys, we have to save him!
Pikachu: Pika Pik Pikachu! (Why? This means more screen time for us!)
Ash: Screw you too, Pikachu!
*Regardless, Pikachu, Treecko, Mudkip, Torchic and Forretress follow the girl, who shoots at the Alien with her plasma cannon*
Ash: May, knock it off or you’ll hit me! Find the Predator and avenge me! Avenge me!
*The Alien flies up a vertical shaft and disappears with his hapless prisoner. May stands below with the five remaining Pokemon at her feet looking up longingly. She feels more or less alone now but isn’t. And not merely because of the five, little Pokemon companions remaining, but because of that final Predator standing fifteen feet away. He makes his attention known by extending his retractable sPear*
May: *turns and gulps* Um…Hello, Mr. Predator. Aren’t you looking fine this evening?
*The Predator readies his sPear for throwing. May gets down on her knees and the Pokemon huddle around her*
May: Before you shish kabob us, please accept my humble apologies as I give you back this Plasma Cannon in hopes that you won’t use it on us.
*May tosses the weapon to the Predator’s free hand who attaches it to his shoulder and begins to walk off*
May: *sighs with relief and follows* Well, now that we’re on such good terms, I was wondering if we could follow you out of --
*The Predator stops and turns in his steps towards the strange girl, unsheathes his menacing blades and strikes a threatening pose while growling through his mask. As May and the Pokemon fall back in fear, one of the Alien hybrids pounces on the Predator with lightening sPeed. This one has a large, broad bill over his mouth, webbed hands and feet and is light blue in color; obviously the one that hatched from Misty’s Psyduck and evolved into the Alien version of a Golduck*
May: Okay, I can see that you’re busy right now. If there’s, like, a more suitable time we can continue this…uh…
*The Predator is placed in some kind of submission hold and repeatedly slammed into a wall*
Pikachu: Pik pik pik pik? (These guys are supposed to hunt the mutants for a living?)
Torchic: Chic. (He’s no Ted Nugent.)
Mudkip: Kip kip. (He’s not even Elmer Fudd!)
May: Hey…Mr. Predator…you need some help?
*The Alien/Golduck looks at May and gushes a mighty Water Gun attack from inside his bill and knocks her back. The Predator seizes the opportunity provided by this momentary distraction and blows off his adversary’s forearm with a blast from his newly attached shoulder cannon. This enrages the mutant, who uses his good remaining arm to toss the Predator aside. Suddenly, May receives a stroke of genius*
May: Wait a minute…water gun…Golduck…if it’s based on a water Pokemon’s physiology, that would make it…PIKACHU! Thunderbolt!
*Pikachu unleashes a bolt of lightening onto the Alien. May’s theory is proven correct when the electrical attack takes a heavy toll on the bodily composition this creature took from a water-type Pokemon. While it’s dazed, the Predator gets back up and makes a running leap onto his prey’s lying form with steel blades withdrawn. Had he connected a second earlier, the Alien would have been doomed, but it sPrays yet another powerful Water Gun at the Predator’s chest sending him again through the air and landing his butt on the recharging Pikachu. The Alien acknowledges the fact that the girl commands the electric rodent as well as the other little creatures and deduces that by killing her, there would be nobody left to instruct them. With this in mind, he charges at May while she sits wet on the corner of the floor, her life flashing before her eyes. The Alien opens it’s bill and projects a second smaller bill from inside, as the Togetic hybrid had. Within the fraction of the second she has left to live, May’s right arm (perhaps unbeknownst to her) reaches into her pocket, whips out the mini umbrella Ash stole from Tracey, clicks the release button on the handle and sends the top end of the accessory shooting forward, right into the inner mouth of the Alien. The stunned creature chokes on the fabric and jointed pieces of metal*
May: Bet this is the first time your food ever played with you!
*Treecko runs up to the Alien’s face and pounds the butt of the umbrella further down his throat with it’s two tails. In a desPerate move, the hybrid tries to dislodge it with yet another Water Gun attack. The umbrella, however, was state-of the-art and does not let the water through. The result is the Alien’s neck exploding with water which dilutes the natural acidity of his blood. May looks over to the standing Predator who observed the whole thing*
May: I’m sorry. Were you going to take out this guy? I probably should have asked…yeah…
*The Predator severs the lower half of the Alien’s skull with one of his blades. He scoops out the brain matter from the cranium and presents it as an effective if not oversized shield to be placed upon May’s left arm. He then chops off the tip of the dead creature’s tail and presents it to her as a knife*
May: Wow, thanks. I didn’t get you anything. Uh, do you have a birthday coming up? I could probably burn you a mixed CD. What kind of music do you listen to? I’m going to guess reggae based on that hairstyle. I know I shouldn’t judge people like that. I like straight-up gangsta rap, but nobody really knows that. I wanna be an illin’ MC--
Predator: ShUt Up!
May: Hey! You can talk!
Predator: NoT rEaLlY. jUsT tHaT oNe PhRaSe AnD tHiS oNe To FoLlOw It Up WiTh.
May: Are you serious?
*The Predator tilts his head at her questioningly. Ten minutes have passed by and the levels of the Pyramid once again start to shift. The Predator grabs May close to himself and the five remaining Pokemon gather at their feet as the portion of the floor they all stand on rises through the opening ceiling and unto the next level of the Pyramid. They end up in an Alien incubation chamber but May feels surprisingly secure in this trophy hunter’s embrace. The comfort is short-lived, though, for she momentarily hears muffled cries of help on the other side of the chamber*
May: Ash!?
*The Predator once again unsheathes his blades at the sound of another human, but May tells him to chill. Pikachu and Treecko run over to the sound of their Master’s voice and find him entrapped in a wall of thick ooze with a face hugger planted over his mug. With a decent charge, Pikachu zaps off the horrid thing*
Pikachu: Pika Pi! (Ash! We got here as soon as we felt like getting around to it!)
Ash: Glad you all made it. I stabbed the Alien with the switchblade in my PokeDex but I forgot that it bled acid and so my left hand got burned off.*looks at the Predator* So is this guy good or bad?
May: Good, bad, he’s the guy with the shoulder cannon. Are we too late?
Ash: Too late for what?
May: Did that creature lay it’s eggs in you?
Ash: It tried. I guess robots can’t host Alien sPawn! Ah ha ha.
May: Boy, am I glad to hear--wait, what?
Ash: Well I AM a cyborg, May. Didn’t I ever mention that?
Pikachu: Pika Pi Pi Chu Pika! (He’s a goddamned robot! Ash is a goddamned robot!)
*It is obvious to the Predator that this boy is friends with the girl and thus must be an admirable fighter as well. But through his X-ray lens, he sees that Ash’s organs are fused with circuitry and metals. Perhaps an alliance forged with a cybernetic organism would serve this Predator well*
May: No, you never mentioned that! Although that does seem to explain why you haven’t aged in six years.
Ash: Actually, that’s just slow-ass continuity. Whole different subject. Hey knife-boy, cut me down will you?
*The Predator infers Ash’s request via body language as the Egg Pods in the room open. They will not be safe here for much longer. He cuts Ash free of the slime on the walls, pulls out a device attached to his forearm and activates it. Ash and May turn their attention to the gadget and the little digital symbols that blink on four tiny screens*
May: What’s that thing?
*The Predator understands the question more from her inquisitive look and tone than from the words she sPeaks. Answering in elementary hand signals, he makes a fist and pops out his fingers, indicating an explosion*
Ash: Oh, it’s Rock-Paper-Scissors! We know that game, right May?
Ash & May: *shaking fists* Rock-Paper-Scissors! Go!
*They both get scissors*
Ash & May: *shaking fists* Rock-Paper-Scissors! Go!
*They both get paper*
Ash & May: *shaking fists* Rock-Paper-Scissors! Go!
*They both get rock. A rather large bead of sweat drips down the side of the Predator’s helmet as he watches the two humans performing some bizarre ritual*
Pikachu: Pika Pika Pika! (You idiots! It’s a bomb! He wants to blow up this Godforsaken place!)
Ash: What!? A Bomb!?
*The Predator doesn’t understand why, but he reveals his plan to Pikachu using more cryptic hand signals*
Pikachu: Pikachuuu. (We’ve got a little under three hundred fifty seconds to get out of here before this whole Pyramid blows up.)
Ash: That gives us, like, uh, a bunch of minutes before it blows!
May: The Pyramid’s going to blow up!? Can you get us out of here before then, Preddy?
Torchic: Tor? (Preddy?)
*The Predator nods yes, but his plans might not come into fruition after all. The cutting edge tail of an Alien appears from the darkness and shears off a side of the bomb. sParks fly, but the symbols continue to blink. The gang looks at their exit and finds seven Alien hybrids blocking their way. One is fish-like with orange patterns and a horn on his head; the Seaking hybrid hosted by Misty’s Goldeen. Another one seemed to be made out of vegetable matter with a huge lily pad on it’s crown; the Lombe hybrid hosted by Brock’s Lotad. Two of them had butterfly and moth wings gained from May’s Beautifly and Jesse’s Dustox. Two others were black and humanoid in appearance, owing that to Jesse and James being their hosts. And Finally, there was the grid-faced Togetic hybrid leading the pack. Predator takes aim with his shoulder cannon and Ash takes off his backpack. He reaches in, pulls out a buzzsaw and affixes it to the stump where his left hand used to be*
Ash: Come get some.
2 B Continued...
*Note: Alternate scene from this chapter found in Comments section*
9/6/2004 9:50:11 PM
(Updated: 9/6/2004 9:59:58 PM)
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