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Pokemon vs. Alien vs. Predator
By CeratosPit
[img src=http://www.picturedot.com/FetchImageJPG.asp?ImageType=P&ImageFormat=L&ImageID=128216]
(Note: To those of you unfamiliar with the characters and sPecies, go to the comments section for brief descriptions)
Narrator: Today our heroic and independent minors, Ash, May, Brock and Max meet up with their old friends Misty and Tracey to have a picnic in the Vermillidian valley. Little do they know of the impending doom heading their way!
*Misty and Tracey step out of the woods and wave hello to their friends who have already laid out a blanket and prepared a scrumptious looking meal for all to enjoy*
Ash: Ah ha ha! Hey you guys! Long time no see!
*Misty’s Togepi scrambles up to Pikachu, cheerfully*
Togepi: Toke Toke Prrrri! (‘Eyo, what’s crackin’, bitch?)
Pikachu: Pi Pi Pi! (Hey, junior. You like girls yet?)
Misty: It’s nice to see you too, Ash. Brock! This food smells delicious!
Brock: Thanks, but don’t eat the salad. I accidentally urinated in it.
*May, who was eating the salad, suddenly stopped. Then, realizing it didn’t actually taste so bad shrugged it off and continued*
Tracey: Say, I have an idea. Why don’t we let all of our Pokemon out of their Pokeballs so they can dance and frolic to a cover of this season’s theme song as performed by some relatively unheard of pop artists?
Ash: Ah ha ha! That’s a great idea, Tracey! Alright everybody, come on out!
*Everybody throws their balls around and releases their various Pokemon as Dreamstreet or some whiney prepubescent boy band plays in the background. Out of Ash’s balls pop Treecko, Taillow and Corphish. Out of Brock’s balls come Mudkip, Forretress and Lotad. From Misty’s emerge Psyduck, Staryu, Goldeen and Politoed. May releases Torchic and Beautifly from her sPheres while Scyther, Venonat and Marril come out of Tracey’s balls…which were still inside his pants*
Max: *sadly* I wish I was old enough to have my own Pokemon…
Pikachu: Pi-Pikachu. Pika Pika! (Don’t be sad. You’d probably suck as a trainer.)
Max: Thank you Pikachu! You always know just what to say.
Pikachu: Chaaa. (Bite me.)
*Meanwhile, in some bushes about 50 meters above them on the mountainside, the notorious Team Rocket members, Jesse, James and Meowth watch our heroes with extremely expensive binoculars*
Jesse: Look at all those pretty, plump Pokemon, perfect for the picking. This may finally be our chance to seize that pesky Pikachu and send him to the boss!
James: As opposed to the four hundred other times we tried to do that and barely survived incomprehensibly powerful explosions?
Jesse: *smacking James upside the head* What kind of attitude is that!? Have you forgotten that we are members of the most illustrious crime organization on the planet!?
James: Have you forgotten that there are millions of valuable Pokemon out there and most of them don’t belong to these brats?
Meowth: Would you two quit yappin’!? Dis may be da poifect opportunity to test out dis latest gadget I bought with our inexhaustible funds!
*Meowth pulls out a ridiculous looking gizmo with an ACME label on it*
Jesse: Awesome! What does it do?
Meowth: I dunno, but it’s shock-proof and I had a coupon!
*Down below, May finishes drinking her lemonade when something in the sky catches her attention*
May: Hey guys, what’s that?
*Everybody look to where May is pointing and see a bright shimmering light in the sky*
Brock: What the hell? Some kind of star?
Max: It’s probably just swamp gas reflecting the light coming off of Venus--
*Upon the mountainside, Team Rocket continues watching the kids*
James: Hmm. I wonder what has their attention…
Meowth: Who cares? As long as dey’re distracted, dis is our chance to swoop in and snatch Pikachu!
Jesse: I’ve got a feeling this is our lucky day!
*The shimmering luminosity suddenly increase in size and a mighty beam of light and force strikes the mountainside at the exact place where Team Rocket was hiding. As always, the explosive force sends the trio flying off into the abyss while screaming their catchphrase*
Team Rocket: WE’RE BLASTING OFF AGAIN!!! *ping*
Tracey: Crap in a hat!
Misty: Look. It created a gigantic tunnel in the face of that mountain!
Brock: What could have done such a thing?
Ash: I don’t know, you guys. But I say we go around traipsing into that thing and find out!
Pikachu: Pikapi Pikachu Pika! (Ash, have you taken complete leave of your senses!?)
Ash: Hells yeah! Whose with me and Pikachu?
*Pikachu smacks its forehead*
May: We really should know better. But it’s been an awfully boring couple of days. I’m in.
Misty: *thinking to self* (If this skank thinks that she can get alone with the boy I’ve been kind of, sort of pining after during the first three seasons, she’s got another thing coming!) Well, somebody has to make sure Ash doesn’t do anything more stupid than usual, so I’ll come.
Brock: Maybe there’ll be some really hot broads down there in that cave.
Tracy: Why would there be--
Brock: I said ‘Maybe’, okay?
Tracey: Works for me. It’d be nice to run into some new lonely, women after all those month’s with Ash’s mom.
Max: Of all you retards, I really should know better. But what the hell?
Ash: Alright, then it’s--wait. What about my mom?
Tracey: Nothing.
Ash: …Alright, then it’s settled! Let’s go!
*Unbeknownst to our heroes, in a sPacecraft high above the Earth, they are being watched in a holographic projection by three frightful figures armed with hunting gear which appears to be highly advanced by technological standards and yet somehow tribal. Their countenances masked by eerie helmets which conceal all but their tendril-like hair obtruding from the back. One punches in a code on the control panel and their dropship is discharged from the much larger craft. They are heading for Earth. And they are heading for our heroes*
2 B Continued...
9/1/2004 10:10:31 PM
(Updated: 9/1/2004 10:24:27 PM)
(Updated: 9/1/2004 10:59:42 PM)
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