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Jurassic Park: The Musical! p1
By CeratosPit
(((What Can Go Wrong)))
*An optimistic melody sweeps through the jungle setting of Isla Nublar as Jurassic Park workers sway back and forth in the starlight. Some of them attempting to attach a large crates to the gates of even larger pens*
Workers: On an evening like this one, what can possibly go wrong?
We’re loading these creatures in the pens where they belong!
There’s not much left to do as we’re working in the dark!
Constructions nearly finished here in Jurassic Park!
*melodic humming follows and is interrupted by more ominous music as Robert Muldoon steps into the fray*
Muldoon: Put your backs into it! And handle with care!
Or have you forgotten there’s a man-eater in there!?
It’ll rip out your throats with any chance that it gets!
Geoffery: It hasn’t harmed anyone…
Muldoon: Perhaps it just hasn’t yet…
*a crate is attached to the gate of a pen*
Now raise the gateway hiiiiigher!
So that the door’s open wide!
A little hiiiiigher!
And let monster inside!
It may seem tiiiiired!
But it’s tranqs weren’t too strong!
Geoffery: Relax, Muldoon! What the hell can go--AAAAGH!!!
*Geoffery in pulled into the pen by the reptillian hands of what he just let inside*
Muldoon: Shooooot Her!
Worker 1: The thing from the crate?
Muldoon: Shooooot Her!
Worker 2: So he can escape!
Muldoon: Shooooot Her!
Worker 3: Screw it, it’s too late.
All: No we’ve all seen what can goooooo wroooooong! (Chaaaa!)
*fade to black. Song finishes. Enter the Mano De Dios Amber Mine setting in the Dominican Republic. Several diggers picking away at the cave walls in search of Amber. A lawyer in a business suit stumbles in to talk with the head miner. There is no music, but the dialogue is sung*
Donald Gennaro: Mr. Juanito Rostagno.
Allow me introduce--
Juanito: Your name’s Donald Gennaro. I know who you are.
Hammond told me you were coming. You’re his attorney at law.
Pardon me for saying so, but you should have left the monkey suit at home.
*Miners laugh*
Donald: What’s this I hear Hammond’s not coming? We’ve got a lawsuit on our hands,
is crazy or something? We’re being sued for twenty grand-grand,
by that late worker’s family who want to see him hang!
I couldn’t even reach him on his phone!
Juanito: His daughter’s getting a divorce. He wants to be with her.
And it has been so long since her two kids seen their grandfather.
Donald: I understand that, but we’ve been advised to deal with the situation post haste.
The insurance company feels the accident has raised some serious safety concerns.
They think the whole project might turn out to be a total waste
Of their time and that if things are left unchecked, they’ll only get worse.
I promised a thorough assessment to assure them everything is sound.
Juanito: Hammond hates insPections. They slow everything down.
Donald: They’ll slow everything down more if they decide to pull the funding!
Miner: Jefe, you gotta see this! I think we’ve found something!
*Donald follows Juanito following the miner*
Donald: If I can bring two experts to the island when they send me,
And they give it their OK, everything will go on as planned.
I signed on Ian Malcolm but the suits think he’s too trendy.
They want a dinosaur expert. They want Alan Grant.
Juanito: If it’s Alan Grant they want, they’re gonna be driven bananas.
They’ll never get that paleontologist out of Montana.
Donald: How come?
*Juanito picks a large nugget of amber and looks entranced by the fossilized mosquito inside*
Juanito: Grant’s a brilliant man, although not quite a visionary.
He’d never leave his fossils in favor of something bigger.
You see…Grant’s like me…
He’s…a digger…
2 B Continued
6/23/2003 11:13:49 PM
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