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Jurassic Krap 3: part 9
By CeratosPit
Grant, Billy and the Kirbys escaped from the hotel of horror in a hurry as the Velocirapper cried out for help. Running through some thick bushes and undergrowth, our heroes made it to a field where various herbivores grazed.
Grant: We should be safe among these animals. Let's take 5.
Paul: Excellent. Say, this is the perfect time to listen to the new Linkin Park CD I bought today.
*Paul places the CD into his little radio and "One Step Closer" plays. The herbivores suddenly freeze and look at the radio. Then, instantaneoeosly break into a mosh pit.*
Grant: Everybody crowdsurf, or we'll be trampled!
*They all listen and ride the wave of of dinosaurs. A hadrosaur mistakes Billy's bag for a beach ball and tosses it around. Fortunately Grant rescues it, but in the process becomes seperated from Billy and the Kirbys. As they go in one direction, he goes off towards another and eventually reaches the end of the crowd. Making yet another stupid choice, Alan Grant runs off into the woods in hopes of finding the rest of his group. He instead comes upon the raptors*
Velimeyraptor: Friends, Rators, Countrymen! Lend me your ears.
Hillbillociraptor: Hyuck, I reckon we ain't got no ears!
Limey: You know what I mean. It would appear that our nesting grounds have been violated by the presence of our hominid forefathers. It is for this reason that we must track them down and rid our fair island of those vile bipeds! Let the hunt commence!
*As the raptors cheer, Grant hides and watches in astonishment*
Grant:*whisPering* What in the HELL did he just say?
*Elsewhere, Billy and the Kirbys escape the Moshpit. Paul got a tatoo! The gang goes off into the forest in search of Alan, and come face to face with a raptor hunting party!*
Billy: Quick! Let's climb a tree! Raptors aren't arboreal!
Paul: Then whose boreal are they?
*Amanda smacks her husband upside the head as they run and climb. The raptors stay on the ground and act pissed. They run back into bushes*
Amanda: Can we go down yet?
Billy: Ma'am, you can go down on me anytime.
Amanda: *sighs* Men. I mean can we climb down the tree? I think they're gone.
Billy: I wouldn't count on it. They're probably waiting in ambush. Alan said that they were patient and clever hunters who think up plans to trick their prey.
Ben: *from a crows nest on a neighboring tree* Then your friend Alan was wrong.
Amanda & Paul: BEN!
Ben: Hey guys. The raptors actually lose interest pretty quickly. Me and the kid have been living on this island for the past 8 years, so you can imagine how great it is to see you guys. Come on over. There's a walkway here that leads to our treehouse.
*And surely enough, there is a wooden walkway connected to his "High hide. Billy and the Kirbys walk on over*
Paul: Fantastic! Ben, you've hardly aged at all.
Ben: Well, you get plenty of excercise running from dinosaurs, HAH!
Billy: *noticing something odd* Hey, um, Mr. Hildebrand? Why do you have string coming from your body?
Ben:*whose now obviously susPended by strings* Haven't you figured it out by now?
*Billy and friends look bewildered when, without warning, metal bars come down from the roof of the crows nest, and the cage slides down the tree trunk and into a hole in the ground*
Billy: They set a trap. They actually set a trap!
Paul: What are you talking about? What just happened?
Amanda: *picking up some books* I think these might explain it. *The book titles read, "The raptor's guide to taxidermy", "How to be a puppeteer", "Hole digging for dummies" and "101 over-elaborate traps for capturing hapless humans"*
Paul: Well, who would do something so sneaky?
Billy: Who else?
*Two raptors laugh outside the hole*
Vanessa: Prepare for danger!
Rupert: From a couple of strangers!
Vanessa: Vanessa!
Rupert: Rupert!
*They begin posing in front of a big red letter R out in sPace*
Vanessa: Team Raptor's the epiphany of our breed!
Rupert: Succumb to us, or prepare to bleed!
Smurth: Smurth, Indeed!
Billy: *growl* Not you three again!
2 B Continued...
2/4/02 6:56:53 PM
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