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Jurassic Krap 3: part 22
By CeratosPit
Escaping certain doom thanks to Billy's lucky bagpipes, our friends continue their trek to the coast...
Paul: *pat's Grant on the back* That was brilliant, Dr.Grant! I'm surprised I didn't think of it! We sure are lucky you had those bagpipes!
Grant: Yes, lucky bagpipes. Too bad they couldn't save Billy.
Amanda: I'm sure he'd be very proud.
Grant: Yes, proud...
Eric: Hey, do you guys hear that?
*They all listen, and with a sudden burst of energy, run straight forward. Finally, after their long, hard journey, they reach the beach. And for the first time things start to look up. Out of the water roll amphibious tank! Out of the sky descend Commanche Helicoptors! And out in the ocean floats a huge aircraft carrier!*
Eric: Wow! He send the Navy! You have to thank him now, mom!
Amanda: thank you, sPit...
sPit: You're welcome. *laugh evilly to myself*
*The Group walks happily towards the masses of naval officers stepping out of their vehicles. But in an instant, they pause. All the soldiers are raptors! They shoot at Grant and the Kirbys, killing them! Then, Limey's pack is escorted out of the woods by the saurian soldiers, and taken away from the island. They go off into a brave new world...
THE PLANET OF THE RAPTORS!!!
Just kidding. Here's what really happened...
*Naval soldiers pour out of the vehicles, and run towards Grant and the Kirbys, who are acually still quite a distance away. The survivors look of relief suddenly turns into terror. Out of the woods, Ceratosaurs and Dilophosaurs attack the soldiers in the amphibious tanks! Big Birds with with Elmos on their backs destroy the choppers in mid-air. And out at sea, Godzilla '98 sinks the aircraft carrier. Discouraged, our heroes walk towards the other way on the beach, leaving all the chaos behind them*
Paul: Your friend couldn't have send the Marines? THEY can handle anything.
Amanda: Yeah, Semper Fi.
*Our heros stop in their tracks. About fifty yards ahead of them is a man dressed in black, smearing himself in pig's blood and yelling on a megaphone*
Man in Black: DR.GRANT!?
Grant and Kirbys: *running to him* STOP! THAT'S A VERY BAD IDEA!!!
Grant: *realizing who it is* Jeff Goldblum!?
Malcolm: That's Ian Malcolm on screen, Alan. C'mon, I've come to save you from this dead end movie franchise!
Paul: In what?
Another familiar voice: Hey, little amigo!
*The group look to their left to see and airship--much like the one in Mummy Returns, only twice as large, with our old pal Enrique at the Helm. Enrique Iglesias!*
Eric: Enrique! *Climbs aboard* What happened to you all those years ago?
Enrique: WHILE YOU RAN, WHILE YOU HID, I ESCAPED FROM ISLA SORNA! And, I finally got a record contract, too!
Eric: Good for you!
*Malcolm and the Kirby parents climb aboard the dirigible. But Grant stops before he could get on*
Malcolm: Hey, Alan, you coming.
Grant: Nah, there's nothing on that ship for me.
Yet another familiar voice: Don't be too sure about that!
Grant: *GasP* Billy Brennan!
*Grant looks up to see Billy, whose now a cyborg, extending a hand to him. Alan climbs aboard*
Grant: But the Big Birds! I thought you were dead?
Malcolm: Nah, he was only slightly dead. Like me.
Grant: But that doesn't make any sense!
Billy: Sure it does. Just ask Michael Chrichton!
Michael Chrichton: Hmm, Wha--?
Grant: Wow, I guess you're right! But how did you become a cyborg?
Malcolm: I had the technology. So I rebuild him.
Amanda: With what?
Malcolm: Some bubble headed robot I found in some giant trash can.
Eric: I THOUGHT that bubble dome looked familiar!
Billy: It computes. Oh! Grant! There's somebody else here who wants to see you!
Grant: Really? Who else could be here?
*Billy leads Grant to the other side of the airship, where the T-rex is lying in bed with a neckbrace on and several bandages*
Grant: T-Rex!
T-rex: Alan... I saved the raptor claw you dropped in the first movie.. *Gives him the raptor claw* I tried to return it to you after I ate that Udesky guy, but you all ran off.
Grant: Thank you. But there's something I don't understand--
Billy: Again.
Grant: That sPykosaurus sliced you in half along the torso. So why are you in a neckbrace?
*Realizing this, T-rex's waist slides off from his stomache and off the bed*
T-rex: Freakin' HMO's!
*Everybody on the airship has a good laugh*
Stay tuned for the Epilogue!
3/2/2002 1:00:33 AM
(Updated: 3/2/2002 1:56:36 AM)
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