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Jurassic Krap 3: part 21
By CeratosPit
Grant! Paul! Amanda! Eric! They thought they ran into their friends the Bowmans, but they were DEAD wrong!
*Paul Bowman unzips to reveal Velimeyraptor*
Limey: We set a trap. We actually set a trap.
*Diedre unzips to reveal Velocirapper*
Rapper: Now you're gonna die
Now you're gonna die
Now you're gonna di-i-ie!
La da da da dadada!
*And Kathy unzips to reveal Smurth*
Smurth: Indeed!
*Our heroes huddle back to back as their antagonists surround them*
Paul: What's wrong with you guys!? What do you want from us?
Rapper: Payback, bitch!
Grant: For what?
Limey: For obliterating our entire nest of eggs, you prochoice bastards! Abortions of our kind will not be tolerated!
Amanda: Trust me Mr.Dinosaur, it's not so bad. I kinda wish I got one.
Eric: MOM! Hey, raptors, I've been kicking your asses for the past 8 years, and I won't hesitate to do it now!
Limey: Pish posh. I'm afraid I don't recall you ever "handing our asses to us" in the first place. The only reason, we run screaming from your presence is because you carry around a bottle of T-rex semen.
Rapper: Dat's Grimey!
Eric: *reaching into his pocket* Maybe so, but if it'll keep you jerks away, then... wha-- it's gone. *GasP* I must have...
*Back at the trash can, The Gatorade bottle full of rex sPerm is standing on the table*
Vanessaraptor: Easy come...
Velocirupert: Easy go.
*Team Raptor laughs*
Limey: Yes, well, now that we're done explaining our motives like true cinematic villains, we shall commence with killing you.
*The surrounding raptors close in on the survivors. Grant's eyes wander into Billy's bag. Of Course! Billy's bagpipes*
Limey: Any final requests?
Grant: Actually, I was just about to take requests!
*Grant puts the pipe to his lips and blows into the instrument, unleashing a horribly painful melody into the atmosPhere! Upon hearing this, the raptors drop to the ground, writhing in pain*
Eric: It's working!
Grant: *stopping* would you believe I've never taken a single lesson? *continues playing if you can call it that*
Rapper: Holy Motha, make that punk stop!
Limey:GAAAAAAAAAHHHH! CEASE THAT INFERNAL NOISE!!!
Vescottyraptor: Aye, the laddy isn't so bad. *snaps his fingers and taps his toes*
Amanda: I think now would be a good time to retreat.
*Leaving the raptors behind, Grant and the Kirbys run off into the woods. With the so called music over, the raptors slowly get up*
Limey: That...Bloody...Does it! My brethren, is it only I, or do the rest of you grow weary of having those filthy ape creatures defile our dominion every four years or so, and leave us in misery?
Rapper: Say word!
Smurth: Indeed!
Limey: I propose we simply emigrate from Isla Sorna, conquer the American mainland, and run the human race into extinction! All in favor?
All the raptor: AYE!
Limey: All opposed?
Single raptor: Nay. *SMACK!* I mean aye.
Limey: Then it is settled.
Rapper: One problem, homes. How we s'Posed to get up off this motha?
voice from the shadows: Leave that to me.
Limey: And who might you be?
*Bearded alien step into the light*
TT: I am TT! The Taliban Terroristrial!
2 B Continued...
(Ha Ha!)
3/2/2002 12:12:59 AM
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