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Jurassic Krap 3: part 20
By CeratosPit
*CeratosPit get's off of his computer and picks up the phone*
sPit: Hello?
Amanda: Yo sPit, whassup?
sPit: Nothin'. Writing a fanfic, havin' a brew. Sup with you?
Amanda: True. True.
*sPykosaurus runs by, screaming in pain*
sPit: 'Eyo, who dat?
Amanda: Yo, sPykyyyyyyyyy! Pick up the phone!
*sPykosaurus just runs by screaming in pain*
sPyko: AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!
sPit: WHAAAAAASSAAAAAAAA...
Amanda: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH...
sPyko: AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
sPit: AAAAAAAPPP!!! WHASSUP!?
sPyko: *runs off* AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
Amanda: So, listen, before I forget, could you like, get us off this freakin' island already? And bring back Billy. He had a nice ass.
sPit: Ite. Peace.
Amanda: Peace out.
*sPykosaurus continues running around in flames, and heads for Dr.Grant and the Oil Barrels*
sPykosaurus: WHAT IS THIS!? THE VALLEY OF GWANGI!?
-note: If you don't get that reference, then brush up on your dinosaur movies.-
*Dr.Grant climbs down as fast as he could, but he's too late. sPykosaurus tramples the oil barrels and sets off a gigantic explosion he and Dr.Grant get caught in. The Kirbys watch from shore*
Eric: DR.GRANT! NO!
*But fires don't last long in the rain, and as soon as the flaming waters clear up, a Gigantic thaksgiving Turkey with bony sPikes lands in the water*
Amanda: I'll give you one guess as to who that was.
Eric: But where's Dr.Grant?
Paul: In a better place, no doubt. Well, I'm starved. *pulls out a fork and knife and goes over to the well-done sPyko* No sense in wasting a meal. Who wants light meat, and who want's dark?
Orlando Jones: Do ya hafta ask?
*Orlando and the Kirbys have a good laugh at the sudden appearence of the cameo. By next morning, the comedian is gone and the family, with the help of some smurfs, has picked the carcass clean*
Paul: Remember that time we went fishing? And the forest ranger came over and said it was illegal? So we killed him and buried him in the woods. But a couple of days later, some dogs found his body, and we were afraid of getting caught so we changed our last name to Kirby?
Eric: Yup. Those were the good old days.
Amanda: I miss fishing.
Smurfett: This sPykosaurus is smurflicious.
Tracker smurf: You smurfed it!
Eric: Shh. Hey, do any of you guys hear that?
*The faint noise of a man screaming in the distance grows louder and louder. And more familiar. From out of the sky, Alan Grant plummets to the ground after being blown away in the explosion, and lands on some sPlattering smurfs who break his smurf-- er, fall*
Grant: AnYbOdY gEt ThE nUmBeR oF tHaT tRuCk?
*The Kirbys run over to hug the good Doctor*
Grant: AH! Watch the ribs!
Eric: Oh, sorry.
Amanda: We thought you were dead!
Grant: Oh, which reminds me. *He kicks Paul Kirby in the balls again* It's good to be alive.
*Our heros continue their trek through the woods*
Grant: So who did you call for help, Mrs.Kirby?
Amanda: Just some 17-year old Internet junky who'll probably die a virgin.
sPit: Hey!
*Suddenly, A herd of Trycycloplotz came out of nowhere and trampled Amanda*
Amanda: Gaaah... Sorry...
Eric: Uh-oh. Look who it is.
*Paul, Diedre and Kathy Bowman step out of the bushes*
Bowman: Why, what a jolly good surprise! Look Diedre, it's our old friends.
Diedre: Fancy meeting you all again.
Kathy: Would you care for a sPot of tea?
Grant: That'd be great. Hey, wasn't the little girl eaten?
Kathy: No, that was my twin sister, Kathy 1. I'm Kathy 2.
Bowmen: Well, I don't know about you all, but I can certainly go for a bite to eat.
Paul Kirby: We just had breakfast.
Grant: You three did, but not me. What's on the menu?
Diedre: You four.
Amanda: Excuse us?
Bowman: Come now. Certainly you've figured it out by now.
*Grant and the Kirbys have flashbacks*
Amanda's was...
*Billy: Why are you susPended on strings?
Ben: Haven't you figured it out by now?*
Grant's was:
*Velimeyraptor: Well, we are smarter than dolphins, smarter than whales...*
Paul's was
*Paul's voice on Camcorder: That's right Harriet show me that fine, shaggy ass. Nobody's watching. Except for me, Paul Kirby that is!*
Eric: It can't be!
Bowman: Oh, but it is... *pulls down a zipper from is hairline, takes off the Bowman costume and reveals Velimeyraptor* can you honestly say your surprised?
*Kathy and Diedre do likewise to reveal Velocirapper and Smurth, and 10 more raptors appear from behind the bushes to surround our heroes. Looks like they're not out of the woods yet!*
Next Time... The Final Chapter of Jurassic Krap 3!
2 B Continued...
2/28/2002 10:37:22 PM
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