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InGen University part 11
By CeratosPit
Chap 11
Imhotep gave his dinosaur minions strict orders to retrieve the Manacle. Their second priority was to zombify anybody who might potentially give them trouble with this task. On top of that, he was the kind of guy who would use a hand grenade to swat a fly. Hence, he sent thirty dinosaurs and upwards of a hundred (currently exhausted) pterosaurs after Elle Sattler. Coordinating their efforts, was the Therizinosaur, and by his strategy, all of the dinosaurs positioned themselves around the beach house. Most of the larger ones behind the groves of palm trees.
The sPinosaur was chosen to kill off Elle because in his previous life, he was adept at hunting prey in deep water. Though it wasn’t mandatory to kill the girl, the regenerated brain of the creature operated half on Imhotep’s ingrained orders and half on jumpstarted instincts. And though the latter couldn’t overtake the former, they were too loud to be ignored. sPinosaurus, therefore, swam up to Elle Sattler with the intention of biting her be-manacled arm off.
None of this, however was on the mind of Elle or her boyfriend, for tonight was a night of romance. Or at least the kinky hijinx of two horny youths. From their candle-lit dinner at Taco Hut to the evening’s night swimming, everything went off without a hitch. Until now. Elle sure did love those bean burritos, but her colon didn’t, and before she could notice the rumbling in her tummy, she farted. After the bubbles popped up out of the water her face turned red. Al took a second and to think of some clever way to rid his girl of humiliation and, remembering her thong was made of floss, said, “You have minty farts!”
The two would have laughed at the quip, but scarcely enough time had passed before the sPinosaurus lunged up out of the water behind them, hacking and coughing! The beast had been swimming up to Elle with his mouth wide open, under water, when she had released her sub-aquatic stink bomb. Alan and Elle screamed in terror. The undead dinosaur soon roared in resPonse and charged his cruel face back at them!
While this was all happening, the party continued to rage on indoors. Loud music and the elasia it brought people inside distracted them all from the chaos unfurling outside. Ian tried break-dancing, but that just wound up breaking furniture and knocking some guests on their asses. Sarah should have been back by now. “Hey, ah, Roland.” Ian asked his bald friend who was partaking in some drinking. “You know where, where Sarah is?”
“Actually, I think I saw her go upstairs.” Roland told him. “She didn’t look so good.”
Up on the second floor, Sarah Harding walked down the poorly lit hall to a room with black satin panties hanging on the knob. Inside the room, Amanda shook her head at Ray and said, “I can’t believe you also wear black satin panties.” as she lied suggestively on the bed.
“Yeah, let’s just keep that between these walls, woman.” he said pouring a couple of glasses of gin in Nick’s father’s silk robe. “Seagrams, bitch?” And just then, Ray heard the door creak open behind him, much to his dismay. “Look, mothaf*#ka, panties on the door means occupied…” His tone lowered as he saw the shady figure of Sarah standing in the dim hall.
“Sarah?” Amanda asked with a hint of concern. “You alright? What’s that smell?”
“Of course, she’s alright!” Ray explained. “Girl just came up here cuz she got hungry and thought she’d make a reverse Oreo with us. Ain’t that right, Sarah?” he asked rubbing his nipple in a ridiculous attempt at looking desirable. And in a way, it worked. From out of the darkness, Sarah was upon Ray in a flash and bit the right portion of his chest off. The terrified horndog was in too much shock to truly acknowledge the pain he was in. Sarah’s face looked like it had sPent the past two weeks decaying. “What the hell kind of f*cked up foreplay is this!?” Ray asked before he felt his mind begin to degrade.
As Amanda watched this, she felt surprisingly less terrified then she figured necessary. Surely, she could have tried to make heads or tails of this and tried to appeal to zombie Sarah’s better nature, but would that honestly help? No. Instead, she rolled off the bed, stood up, walked out of the room and closed the door just before the creature that used to be Sarah could pay her any mine.
After closing the door, Mrs. Kirby turned around to bump into Ian Malcolm. “Hey, ah, Mandy, is-is Sarah in there?”
“Rarrarraaagh!!!” screamed Sarah’s distorted voice from within the room.
“Sarah’s not feeling like herself right now.” Amanda answered trying to motion Ian away from the door.
“Rah, rah, rah, bitch!” screamed the newly undead Ray Arnold.
“What-what do you mean ‘not feeling like herself’?” Ian questioned Amanda, who seemed quite eager to keep him away from that room. “Was that, ah, Ray? What are they--? Amanda?”
“Look, Sarah’s gone cannibal zombie on us, and from the sound of it, so has Ray.” Amanda explained while pushing Ian further up the hall towards the stairway. “Either that, or a witch doctor sPiked the punch. Again.”
“Oh, come on, Mandy, that-that’s ridiculous.” Ian scoffed.
Behind the two of them, Ray and Sarah’s combined efforts broke the door right off of it’s hinges, and Ian found himself looking back to find the girl he liked and an old friend of his to be repulsive shades of their former selves. They both reeked with the smell of death.
Something at the opposite end of the hall then caught Amanda’s attention. “No, THAT is ridiculous.” Noting the shadowy Therizinosaur standing in front of an open window about twenty five feet ahead of them, Ian and Amanda made tracks towards stairs between the opposite ends of the hallway. Making bounds and leaps down the stairs, Ian unplugged Los Medjais’ sPeakers.
The music had stopped, and with it, the merrymaking. “Yo, man, what the hell?” Juanito asked when Ian stepped on the stage next to the base of the steps.
“Everybody, I need your attention!” Ian cried. “We seem to be in the early stages of a zombie epidemic!”
There was a collective “Ooooh!” from the audience.
“Also, there appears to be a dinosaur loose in the house!”
“Ahhhh!” the crowd resPonded.
Ian couldn’t believe how unaffected the crowd was. “Is this how it always starts?” Ian asked Amanda.
Above them, perched on the handrail of the second floor hall overlooking the living room below, was the Therizinosaur. After a second of preparation, the beast hurdled it’s self over the stage below and dove into the crowd. With his six claws, he skewered six partygoers and tossed the back overhead. Then, there was running and screaming.
“Guess so.” Amanda said, patting Ian on the back. They then bolted for the nearest exit.
The band didn’t go anywhere. “Zombies and Dinosaurs?” asked Carter, the drummer. “Imhotep?”
“Just like the prophecy said.” answered Enrique, who was on keyboards.
“Gentlemen, this is the moment we’ve been waiting for all of our lives.” Juanito said, pulling a scimitar out of his guitar. “Let us make our forebears proud!”
Roland Tembo had downed a few drinks and couldn’t quite understand why everybody at the party began running and screaming. He finally saw Ian and Amanda among the sea of strangers and called out “Ian! What the bloody hell is going on?”
“Roland!” Ian cried back. “You should be up and running!”
Suddenly, a Triceratops had crashed through the wall and plowed through the bar, a mere inch away from where Roland sat. He turned his head back around to see the bartender transformed into a bloody rug and all the drinks wasted. “Son of a bitch!” Roland screamed. He jumped off his stool, pounded a drawer, the drawer flew open, popped out a paintball which landed in Roland’s hands. He set the blast-gauge from Deep Impact to Armageddon. “You, my friend, will rue the day you prevented me from getting shit-faced!”
But before Roland could fire his Masterblaster paintball gun, the house band had already begun to slice off the Trike’s body parts, so all that was left were a few throbbing body parts. “I am sorry to rob you of your revenge, my friend, but I am afraid that your toy would have done little harm to such a creature.” apologized Carter. Roland just tilted his head and shot the black-robed young man. Carter was sent flying back with his shoulder completely blown off. The Therizinosaur made quick work of him.
“Wait!” exclaimed Juanito. “We are your friends!”
“Prove it.” Roland said, taking aim.
“Ted Nugent rules!” Juanito replied. Obviously the answer worked. “We need to get to of here right now!”
Al and Elle had gotten out of the water and ran up the beach to the house. They headed for the kitchen and crashed into the sliding glass door. “Let us in! Let us in!” they begged, pounding on it.
“Let us out! Let us out!” was the resPonse of Ian and Amanda who ran into the kitchen from an adjoining hall and towards the door where they saw Al and Elle in there bathing suits looking terrified. Ian slid the door open and told them, “You’re better off back outside!”
To which Al rebutted, “No, you’re better off back inside!”
From inside and outside, emanated the roars of angry dinosaurs. Elle Sattler screamed and bounced up and down. Nick Van Owen came up running behind her, grabbed her breasts and bounced along with her. From behind Ian and Amanda, Roland ran into the kitchen with Juanito and Enrique. “Do NOT go in there!” Roland warned. “Whoooo!”
“Well we’re no safer outside!” Alan argued. “Not unless we have something to divert the attention of that sPinosaurus outside.”
All this craziness made Amanda thirsty. She opened the refrigerator and pulled out a can of orange soda. Before she closed the door, Paul Kirby asked “Can I come out yet?” from inside. Everyone answered with a resounding “NO!” and Amanda slammed the door shut.
“Wait a second!” said Malcolm. “I…I have a plan! A brilliantly amazing plan!”
2 B Continued...
5/7/2004 9:40:19 PM
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