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InGen University part 10
By CeratosPit
Last time on InGen University...
Unknown to the preoccupied professor, the jovial juveniles defected from the duffle bag and set off for the souvenier stand. It was about this time that the Professor took a right turn at a fork in the hallway and wound up in the Hall of Big, Dead Critters. “Excuse me?” he asked. “Do any of you zombified museum goers and dinsaurs know where I can find a plane crash site?”
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“Ait-way.” Imhotep said. “Ou-yay eak-sPay e-thay anguage-lay of-ay e-thay igs-pay. Ou-yay ay-may e-bay of-ay use-ay o-tay e-may et-yay.”
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Without even turning around, the giant said to her. “You should not have followed me, Cat.”
“You shouldn’t have left.” was the woman’s reply.
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Billy and Cheryl thought they’d seen about everything when they saw a sauropod fly. And riding that brach were a T-rex, a sPinosaur, a couple of Triceratops, a Dilophosaurs, a Stegosaurus, several raptors of varying ages and on the head of the brach was the Therizinosaurus Imhotep had put in charge. Now, more than ever was the mission of the giant compromised.
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And now, InGen University Chapter 10...
Having already gained distance over the double-decker bus, the flying dinosaurs were getting ever closer to their destination. Within twenty minutes or so, they would be back on the ground and recover Elle Sattler’s manacle per their master’s orders. The Tyrannosaurus, however, couldn’t exactly wait twenty minutes. He had the runs, you see, and the sack of Ian Malcolm’s children didn’t agree with his stomach. So after roaring what may as well have meant “Bombs away!”, he defecated the duffle bag, which plummeted down two hundred feet below into the forest. But even after it crashed into the canopy, there was something moving inside.
One would probably be surprised by the remarkably little amount of attention given to the horrible visage of flying undead dinosaurs. However, if the current zombie epidemic of southern California was taken into consideration, the lack of interest in the former was a bit more understandable. Still, it did get some news coverage. When, Paul Kirby turned on the TV at Nick’s parents’ beach house, the first thing he heard a reporter covering the situation right outside of his Alma Mater.
“Jalissa, I’m standing out here with the Delta Iota Kappa brotherhood, reportedly the biggest losers at InGen University, the believed epicenter of the zombie outbreak. Mr. Ludlow, can you tell us anything about what’s going on here.”
“Yes, I believe I can.” said Peter grabbing the mic. “Ladies and gentlemen, Mankind has had a good long run on this planet. But apparently we’ve angered God, whose solution was to raise the dead and exterminate the human race. So if you’re out there watching this, clinging to hope, well, I’m afraid there isn’t any. SO COME ON OVER TO THE DELTA IOTA KAPPA BROTHERHOOD BASH AT THE INGEN UNIVERSITY DAYCARE CENTER! WE’RE ALL GOING TO HELL ANYWAY, SO WE MIGHT AS WELL GET OUR COLLECTIVE GROOVES ON! REMEMBER, NO ONE THROWS BALLS LIKE D.I.K!”
The reporter took his mic back. “You heard the desPerate virgin, folks, this may be the beginning of a zombie... zombie... zombie... zombie nation! Back to you Jalissa.”
“Thank you, Gabriel.” answered the comely hisPanic reporter. “We now go to Chiwueze for the weather.”
“Temperatures tonight will be in the upper fifties with a very cloudy sky and a slight chance of flying dinosaurs.”
Suddenly, Ian Malcolm passed by the room Paul was watching TV in carrying a keg. “Hey, ah, Paul? You got a tap?”
“Huh? Yeah, it’s somewhere in the…place.” Paul replied.
Ian just stood there for a second. “Um, would you, h-help me find it please.”
“Alright, fine.” answered Paul, getting up. “But I was watching Dawn of the Dead or some crap.”
Over in the living room, where everybody was grooving to Los Medjais’ rendition of ‘Tarzan Boy’. Most eyes were on Sarah and Amanda’s semi-erotic grinding. Ray Arnold, slick as he was, slipped over to them as the song ended. “Mm-mm, bitch!” he told Amanda. “You got some moves on you! Care to to go somewhere more private and do that dance horizontally?”
Amanda just punched him in the stomach. “I’m married, you skeez!” A second later, she heard Ian yelling at Paul to stop humping the beer keg. “Oh screw it, my evening’s ruined anyway. C’mon Don Juan.” She told Ray, grabbing him by his belt and heading upstairs.
Sarah was now alone, but it didn’t matter to her. Her beloved Ian had returned and she left the dance floor to the kitchen where his voice came from as ‘I Think I Love You’ began playing. She saw him stuffing Paul Kirby into the refridgerator while scolding him. “Bad Paul! You, ah, you stay in there until you sober up!”
“Ian! Hi.” Sarah, began, awkwardly. “You wanna dance?”
“Well, ah, let me think.” Ian said. “I’m-I’m an awful dancer, I hate this song and ah, my back is strained from carrying that beer keg for five blocks.” This left Sarah a bit discouraged. “Sure, one dance won’t hurt!”
Over on the dining room table, Alan Grant was hyperventilating. Elle Sattler was a damn freak! Five times in the last two hours had they formed the beast with two backs and she was practically just getting started. “Don’t tell me your getting tired.” she teased. “I’ve met eighty year olds with more stamina than you.”
“Oh, the heart is willing, Elle, but I can’t say the same for my--” and then he paused. “Waitaminute. What eighty year olds?”
Just then Elle had an insPiration. “I know what’ll get your juices a flowing again. Let’s go for a swim on the beach. The fresh air will do you some good.” She pulled out her pack of dental floss and started knitting. “Just gimme two minutes and I’ll make myself something to throw on.”
Ian Malcolm was a horrible dancer. In fact, the house band had to look away from him just so that they could play without feeling the need to vomit. Sarah didn’t mind this at all, though. Just being near him made her heart flutter. “Wow!” Ian said, blissfully unaware. “I didn’t know I was, ah, THIS good!”
“I wish this moment could last forever…” Sarah said softly to herself.
“It can, Sarah.” Ian softly resPonded, moving closer to her.
“It-it can?”
“Yes…” he whisPered. And then in a much louder tone, he ruined any notion of a romantic atmosPhere by saying. “Here are the key’s to Nick’s van! I brought a camcorder with me, but it’s in my bag. If you could get it, we can have somebody immortalize our gifts to the dancing world by recording us!”
Not quite the answer Sarah expected, but with a semi-awkward “O-ok” she slowly left Ian to his boogying. She stepped outside and walked through the backyard. She passed by Nick and the slutty twins in the hot tub en route to the van.
“Care to join the real, party, redhead?” Nick asked her.
Sarah groaned and decided to retort by emasculating Nick. “You girls know he has, like, ten types of herpes, right?”
“That’s alright!” said one of the twins. “So do we!” finished the other. Nick then shrieked like a girl and jumped out of the tub. He landed in the rose bushes.
That may not have been what Sarah was expecting, but damned if it wasn’t more fun for her to watch. Finally, she reached the van and opened the back door. She opened up Ian’s bag and rummaged through it’s contents. Eventually, Sarah pulled out his camera. “Mission accomplished.” she thought, satisfied. When she turned around, though, Sarah was stabbed through the torso by a trio of three foot long claws on the right hand of the most terrifying creature she had ever seen in her life. Imhotep’s Therizinosaurus.
A couple of miles away, the giant called Sholly continued driving the bus at full sPeed with his remaining arm. A fleshy stump covering the area where his right arm used to be. He noticed everybody’s questioning stares facing him, but decided not to address them unless he asked to. This was his nature. So it was Billy who broke the silence. “You’re a robot.”
“I am a cybehneteek Awganeezm.” the giant said. “A leeving creatcha eenhanced by mechanized awgans. I also have genetically eenhanced regenerative capabilities.”
“So you really are from the future.” Cheryl confirmed. “And so was the sand-woman, I’m guessing.”
“Yeah, the sand-chick was hot.” Eddie added. “And she totally kicked your ass, dude! She coulda killed you.”
“Like huh namesake, Cat likes to play weeth huh victims before keeling dem. She eez Eemhotep’s top enfawsuh. Originally a genetically eenhanced cybawg like myself, she was geeven shape-sheefting sand capabilities by lawd eemhotep. She mahst have followed me back in time upon luhning of my plans.”
“So how do we stop her?” Billy asked.
“Stay focused on owah objectives.” the one-armed giant explained. “She woz designed to hunt my kind, and dat eez whot she eez doing. She eez moah powahful den I am and can remain invisible to my radah. When next we shall meet, eet shall be by huh choice. All I can do unteel den eez my best to prevent Eemhotep from retrieving da manacle.”
“So, this robotic sand-bird might be watching us right now?” Rob inquired.
“She eez probably leestening to os right now.” was the giant’s answer. Nobody took that news well, but Mark Degler, who sat quivering in the corner, took it the worst. His drug induced calm was wearing off.
Alan and Elle ran from the beach house into the nearby ocean. Elle in her minty green sting bikini, and Alan in his swimming trunks and hat. “Sweety, I think you overdressed!” Elle told her man as she ran into the water.
“You know I never take off my hat, Elle!”
“I think the hat is the one thing you should’ve worn!”
“You saucy minx!”
By now, the two young lovers were just floating in each other’s arms on the water’s surface. This was by far, the best night of Alan Grant’s night. Even better than that Paleontologists convention he attended in Scranton! He couldn’t imagine any way that this night could get better. And indeed his evening had peaked. As he would soon find out, the zombie sPinosaurus swimming beneath the waves towards them would totally wreck the occasion!
4/26/2004 10:56:00 AM
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