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InGen High part 9
By CeratosPit
Last time, on InGen High, Grant got drunk, Nick got robbed, Wu got set up, and Nedry got attacked by a featery Dilophosaur...
The mood on the other side of Shimmyville was quite the opposite. Over at the Shimmyville park, Nick and El were walking hand in hand.
“I’m really sorry about your fertilizer, Nick.” El consoled her boyfriend.
“Ah, that’s alright.” Nick answered. “I’ll just give Hammond a blood sample on Monday, and he’ll pass me. He’s weird like that. By the way, I heard you made friends with that new kid who won the Sci-fare without even entering.”
“I know. That guy is totally in love with me, it’s not even funny. I completely got him to forget his own moral code just so I could get an afternoon buzz.”
Nick turned to face her. “I love it when you use other people to your advantage. It’s so hot.” El smiled as he continued. “You know, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for some time, now. Almost for these past two weeks--”
“Oh my God.” El interjected. “You’re right, it’s our two week anniversary! Oh! Let’s get each other presents!”
“Hmm. Alright, but can I just tell you something?”
“I’ve got a better idea! Go out and buy me something that‘ll tell me how you feel. We‘ll meet back here in an hour. Whaddya say?” Nick shrugged. El cheered. They both went their separate ways.
Al Grant, Billy Brennan and Ian Malcolm were having the time of their lives on the town. In fact, it could best be expressed by a montage of what they did set to a cheery ska or punk melody. But since I’m writing this, I’ll just explain what happened, while you guys (and by ‘you guys’ I mean General Rancor) envision it your own way…
The boys tried on various outfits over at the Style Pile. From Armani suits to clown costumes to tight black leather. Of course, they didn’t have any money for clothes, so they just left mountains of disgarded garments behind in their dressing rooms. Only after they left did they notice how barren the store looked.
Over at John Hammond’s house, the aforementioned principal of InGen High sat in his filthy living room wearing only his undergarments watching Television. Peter Ludlow, wearing an apron, was vacuuming the rug nearby. John thought it might be funny to drop the banana he was eating on the floor behind his nephew to see if he would slip on it. Sure enough, Peter did. And as he fell back, his vacuum cleaner sucked up Hammond’s toupee.
Next, Al, Ian and Billy stopped at the hair salon where they got sweet doos. After which, they sat at the hair dryers reading fashion magazines, and crossing their legs at the same time. When asked to pay, they ran out of the salon, to the dismay of the owner.
Paul Kirby and Eddie Carr were frolicking in a happy meadow filled with adorable and playful animals. At least they were until a security guard had them removed from the stuffed animal aisle of this We B Toys store. Over in the next aisle, Ray Arnold swung around a purple plastic lightsabre in a mock duel between him and Muldoon, who fired his harmless blaster pistols. In the next aisle, Benny Hilderbrand was fooling around with a couple of Ken dolls. Nash, Cooper and Udesky walked by, saw this, and beat him senseless out of habit.
Al and the gang then snuck into the movie theater with contraband popcorn and soda. An hour and a half later, only the awestruck Billy was awake to see the ending of ‘Pokemon 13: Charmander’s Family Reunion’. Al and Ian were bored out of their minds.
Next door, at the Fossilized Mosquito Shop, Mandy stepped up to the register and asked Juanito for something while indicating her belly. Knowing exactly what she needed he gave her a package labeled ‘Fossilized Mosquito Home Body Piercing Kit‘. It was precisely what she was looking for. Juanito was glad that he could help, but his smile turned into a look of horror as he saw Roland Tembo toss a football shaped chunk of amber with a mosquito inside to Ajay on the other side of the store. The InGen High Superclones were holding a practice game in his dad‘s shop!
When the movie finished, Al and the gang continued driving around town with Pikachu ears on their heads. Eventually, they came upon 3 hot girls with Pikachu ears on, picked them up, and drove around town flirting. It was all good, until the three girls pulled out their revolvers and shot a gang sPorting Yu-Gi-Oh wigs. It was an all out anime fan gang drive by! Ian continued driving, scared as hell, when they pulled over a few blocks away. The girls jumped out and ran away. Ian, Alan and Billy decided to throw away their Pikachu ears.
Over at the Shimmyville park, Tex Murphy was still getting face-f*cked by that DX’d squirrel. He passed by El and Nick, who were exchanging gifts. El gave Nick a Venus Flytrap and he looked quite taken with it. And in return, Nick gave El, who by the way was 5’9” and weighed 135 lbs, a book entitled ’How To Lose 20 lbs In A Week.’ Quite disgusted with this idea of a gift, El stormed off. Nick wasn’t quite sure what happened.
Evading police sirens, Ian Al and Billy climbed over a wooden fence in an alleyway. They thought they were safe for a couple of seconds, but then saw an giant Pit Bull/Mastiff mix growling at them about 20 yards away. All of them knew that you shouldn’t run from an angry dog, but when the situation arose, none of them felt like standing around. And so the boys ran alongside the fence with the angry beast hot on their heals.
Lewis Dodgson finished up his homework and stepped out of his room. Once he closed the door, Henry Wu came in through the window and went through his old school chum’s notes. He came across a folder labeled ‘Getting Back At Wu‘. Finally, he had found some evidence that would prove to be quite useful. That’s when the doorknob began to turn. Thinking quickly, Wu put on a long black wig, and tied his shirt up, revealing his midriff. When Lewis stepped in, he saw an androgynous, yet pretty Asian girl standing in his room, whom he mistook for Wu‘s twin sister. And as it was indicated by his turned on expression, he had a major crush on her!
The angry dog continued chasing the trio around the yard until the boys came to hole in the fence. All three got through, but Billy, who was last, escaped by the skin of his teeth. The dog stuck his head through the opening, but his massive shoulders made him unable to escape. Al, Ian and Billy took a second to collect themselves, when the Pit-Mastiff busted through the fence like cheap plastic. And again, the running commenced.
Outside of a convenience store, some hip hop youths were break dancing to a beat resonating from their boom box. The first two were surprisingly good, but then Sarah Harding got on the matt in fresh new threads and surprised everyone with how decent her moves were. And all the homeys say she’s pretty slick for a white chick.
Over at the video arcade/pizza place, ‘Ratty Cheeses’, Al and Billy were playing ’Whack-A-Rat’ when Ian walked by holding up an open pizza box. To the trio’s surprise, the Rats that Al and Billy were whacking jumped out of the holes in their game onto the pizza box, and finished the entire pie.
And back at InGen High, poor Donny Gennaro was still trapped in that locker!
2 B Continued...
2/21/2003 10:19:00 PM
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