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InGen High part 25
By CeratosPit
“HONKY SCREWWWWW!!!” yelled the magenta monstrosity that was once Dennis Nedry. He unzipped his pants and raped the limp body of a dead raptor, hoping to impregnate it. Not knowing whether to laugh and point at this most bizarre event of the evening, or to run in terror, Nash and Ian just decided to crawl away unnoticed. Honky dropped the first raptor and proceeded to screw the next body.
In another classroom, Roland, Al and El had locked themselves in a closet, narrowly escaping the third raptor. But this one wasn’t easily discouraged. He dug his claws between the wooden door and it’s frame next to the handle. As they scratched little holes, whatever light was in the blacked out classroom shined into the closet. Al hugged El close to his body.
“Listen El,” he told her. “I’m sorry for drooling over you and Mandy during your unbearably sexy catfight like all the other guys instead of doing the resPonsible thing and stopping it. But I just want you to know that whatever happens in the next few minutes, I will do everything in my power keep that raptor from hurting you. Even if that means dying in the process.”
“Oh, Al, that’s so sweet of you.” she told him. “But I have something I need to--”
“Excuse me, ladies.” Roland interrupted. “But before you continue pouring your hearts out, would you mind if I un-sobered myself with a bottle or two?” Roland still had the two cases in his hands. Putting them down, he took out and opened a can which he chugged down. Al took notice of all the booze and a plan formed in his head.
“No, not at all.” Al told him. “Because Booze may just be the thing to save us!” El was a tad skeptical of what Al could’ve had in mind, but earlier that night they were saved by burning marijuana, so why not? Al picked up a pair of cans and vigorously shook them. “I advise you both to do the same.”
Finally, the raptor outside had scratched up the doorknob to a point where it served no purpose, and he pulled the door open. But when he did this, the three teens inside pulled back the tabs on their beer cans and sPrayed alcohol all over the man-eater. Their plan was to surprise and run past him, but man did he screech in pain! Al, Roland and El headed right for the door but bumped into Billy, Paul and Mandy.
“Oh my God!” exclaimed Billy. “What the Hell did you do to that thing!?”
Al and the gang looked back to see the raptor’s skin and organs decompose while it was still alive. It’s bones turned brown and it‘s blood dried up. Al slowly walked to the pile of dried up organs. Did the beer do that? What if it was a trick. A really good trick. Well if it was, the raptor deserved to catch him. But that wasn’t the case. Al ripped it’s sickle claw off of it’s left foot. “I’m pretty it’s dead now.” he told them.
“You don’t wanna poke it with a stick or anything?” Mandy asked.
Al put the seemingly fossilized claw into his pocket and walked back to the closet. He pulled out Roland’s cases of beer and returned to the group.
“I’ll take a brewski!” Paul said.
But Grant just ignored him. “I don’t know how, but for some reason, these dinosaurs are destroyed by physical contact with beer.”
“Al, we’ve been through a lot tonight,” Billy told his friend. “But that has got to be the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard in my life.”
Just then, Ian and Nash ran by. “Guys! We have to get out of here NOW!” Ian said. “Dennis Nedry just took a, ah, pill that turned him into a giant, pink monster who wants to, ah, impregnate everything in sight!”
Billy turned back to Al. “Okay, you’re the first runner up.”
“Everybody MOVE!” Ian insisted. They all ran out into the hallway. Joining them were Nick, Cooper and Zim. “Where are the others?”
“Presumably, they’ve met their collective DOOMS at the claws of these filthy stink beasts!” Zim told him. “Or, they just ran away. I dunno.”
“Well, we can cry for them later!” El said. “In the meanwhile, Al discovered that beer can kill these critters!”
“Well, that’s a no brainer!” Nick said. “But it would take at least ten bottles before they would succumb to alcohol poisoning!”
“No, not like that!” Al explained as they ran up the stairs. “All we have to do is sPray some on them, and the beer instantly dissolves their organs!”
“Interesting.” Ian noted. “Well, aside from fossilized versions of their, ah, bone structures, we know next to nothing about the biochemistry of dinosaurs. I mean, we assume it’s similar to that of, ah, modern day organisms, but who really knows what chemical differences their bodies presented.”
“Save that mumbo jumbo for your geek clubs!” Cooper said as he headed up the next set of stairs. “It could be allergies for all I--” sPlat! A gooey, black substance sPlattered all over the school thug’s face and sent him crashing back down the stairs and landing back on the third floor. The rest of the kids were hesitant to climb those steps now.
Descending from the staircase above were ten medium sized carnivores. They were about seven feet high at the shoulder, thirteen feet long and resting on each of their heads were crest-like plates. Al and the gang backed away into third floor’s hallway. Nobody, even Nash, bothered to bring Cooper’s writhing body with them. And as the dinosaurs gathered around his helpless body, he would soon be gone forever.
Elsewhere on the third floor, Sarah Harding was heading out of her father’s office when something caught her eye. A backpack on the table with her name embroidered on it. Suddenly it struck her that her birthday was next week. This was her father’s present to her. She opened it up wondering if there was anything inside. There was. A note labeled, “To Daddy’s fly little gangsta shorty.” She just about shed a tear right there.
Sarah walked the hallways alone and frightened. She stalled around corners out of fear that a hungry dinosaur might be waiting for her on the other side. All the dinosaurs were carnivores, apparently. Why couldn’t any friendly herbivores evolve into birds all those eons ago?
The sound of running footsteps interrupted her train of thought. Human footsteps. Was it her friends? Possibly her father among them? She turned another corner to see who it was, and to her surprise it was Principal Hammond, Juanito Rostagno and Mark Degler! “Hey!” she yelled. “What are you guys doing here?”
“Running for our lives, B!” Juanito yelled
Just then, about a hundred compies came out running behind them. Sarah turned back and ran to her father’s office with Hammond and the boys in toe. Mark slammed the door behind them, keeping the compies out. They heartily scratched on the door and tried to get in. They all looked at the door as the scratching noises grew quite loud.
“Damn, those things are hungry.” Mark noticed.
“Well, they should be.” Sarah explained. “After all that weed, they were bound to get the munchies eventually.”
3/20/2003 11:20:31 PM
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