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InGen High p19
By CeratosPit
Ian finished dumping the bag of wacky tobacky onto the floor from the High Hide. Eddie cried a little bit. Some Compies came over and sniffed the grass, but being carnivores, lost interest quickly. Sarah still didn’t understand.
“So let me get this straight.” she said. “You’re trying to get the Compies high?”
“That’s, ah, precisely what I’m doing.” Ian told her, lighting up a match. “That much dope should have those Compies staring at their hands within minutes. Everybody pull your shirts up to your mouths. You’re not going to, ah, wanna inhale this.”
“sPeak for yourself.” Eddie mumbled.
Ian tossed down the match into the pile of grass and it slowly began to burn. The Compies had never seen fire before, so they watched it in awe. And while they watched, they breathed in the crazy fumes it gave off.
Two minutes later, the room was filled with rainbows and pink bunnies. The Compies danced around to Bob Marley beats only they could hear. Coming down from the High Hide, the kids slowly made their way around the bugged out little dinosaurs. They tiptoed over to the door, making sure that no one was left behind to disrupt the Compies from their little wonderland. Before Ian opened the door, Al asked him a question.
“Hey Ian.” Al whisPered through his red scarf. “Shouldn’t we put out that blazing pile of grass? It could burn down the school!”
“Al,” Ian explained. “at this point, that would be a good thing. Besides, putting it out might cause the Compies to snap out of their groovy little world and the last thing we want is to make any extreme changes to their environment.”
Apparently, Ian didn’t see the fish swim by the little window on the door. Because when he opened it, a six foot wall of water crashed into them and filled the room. The Compies, reaffirmed in reality, swam around frantically hopping onto anything that floated. Including the heads of the kids coming up for air.
Upstairs, Baryonyx didn’t bother eating the Ceratosaurus it slew. Predators rarely ate each other in fights over territory. It’s original prey seemed to disappear. That they were in the janitor’s closet, he didn’t know. And so Baryonyx left his vanquished foe on the floor to search for the tasty humans that got away.
“Yo, we gotta get outta here, B.” Juan advised Hammond in the closet.
“Indeed, Juanito.” Hammond answered. “And I know just how to do that. Up on the roof, I have a hot-air balloon in the shape of my head! We shall make our way to the top of the school, inflate the balloon and fly back to the planet Saturn!”
“Or we could fly to the edge of Shimmyville and just go home.” Mark suggested.
“Nonsense!” Hammond said, trying to open the door. “On Saturn, we will live like kings among the beautiful triple breasted lunar betties!” Hammond continued pulling on the knob, but the door wouldn‘t open.
”What’s wrong, jefe?” Juanito asked.
“Boys,” Hammond began in a comforting tone. “You know how you had your hearts set on going to Saturn? Well, unfortunately it seems that we will have to postpone our trip. We’re locked in this closet!”
Back downstairs in the shop class on the flooded first floor, the teens and Compies bobbed up and down in the water. “Where in God’s name did all this water come from!?” Muldoon shouted once his head popped up.
“Maybe somebody left a faucet on!” Ian shouted back over the swirling deluge.
“Can this night get any more outlandish?” Nick floated by.
Just then, the word “outlandish” flashed on the screen and everybody screamed at the secret word. Al, Roland and Mandy pried off a wooden dinghy from the wall. “This was my project from last year!” Roland said. “I got an F!”
“Why the hell did they fail you?” Mandy asked.
“I was only supposed to make a bloody model! I said ‘building models is for pussies!’ Bastard!”
“Well, a model couldn’t save us now, Roland!” Al told him. “And besides, I bet Mr. Thorne wishes he passed you now!”
Al, Roland and Mandy climbed into the boat first. Then El, Ian, Sarah, Nick, Rob, Nash, Paul, Eddie, Cooper, Kat, Zim and Mikey. The boat was quite full, and the rim was just high enough not to let any water in. And yet, there was one person wasn’t in the dinghy with the rest of them. “Where’s Billy?” Al asked.
Almost as if to answer his question, the eight year old screamed in terror, floating by with twenty frightened Compies latched onto him. “HELP! Somebody get these things off of me!”
“Billy, don’t let them bite you!” Ian screamed. “Their venom will drug you and turn you into a jabbering loon, like Bowman!”
“Wait.” Eddie said. “Where is Bowman?”
“I am the great Cornholio!” Bowman yelled, popping out of the water with his shirt over his head. “My people, they are without bungholes!”
Realizing that Bowman would make a much bigger floatation device and an easier meal, the Compies jumped off of Billy and swam over to the stoned Brit. When they covered him, he yelled “Are you threatening me!?” and floated off, getting his face nibbled. Billy swam over to the small but full boat.
“Wait a tick.” Roland told Billy. “This boat’s already overcrowded. If you got in, this bitch would sink like the bleeding Titanic!”
“Don’t worry, guys.” Sarah said. “I’ve got an idea!”
Nobody had any oars, so it was very convenient to have Sarah hold Billy’s legs up over the surface of the water and use his mouth as a motor exhaling bubbles behind their little vessel. She would pulls his head out by the neck of the shirt and dunk it back in when he was done inhaling. Everybody else was occupied. Most of them stared at El’s tight, wet tank top.
“And I’m really cold, too!” El complained in Al‘s arms. “This is not how I wanted to sPend my evening!”
“In that case you should’ve got eaten.” Mandy mumbled bitterly to herself.
“Hey!” El snapped. “You have something to say, Goth-bitch, say it to my face!”
“Firstly, it’s Punk-bitch.” Mandy corrected her. “Secondly, nobody wants to be here, and they sure don’t wanna hear you whine about it!”
Billy’s head came out of the water. “Guys!” he said before Sarah Dunked him back in. Meanwhile, Al wanted to stop his girlfriend from skirmishing with the other hottie, but being a guy, he couldn’t.
“Don’t act like you know what everyone wants, you social outcast!” El told Mandy. “You make a lifestyle out of ignoring everyone in the world and now you think you sPeak for them?”
“No, I only ignore whiny morons like you who believe that the world couldn’t exist without knowing how you feel about everything!” Mandy explained. “And Paul Kirby!”
“Guys, seriously!” Billy said as he came up for air again and got dunked back into the water.
“So I’m a moron am I?” El asked. “I get straight A’s in every class and unlike you, I don’t get them by giving my teachers blowjobs!”
“Of course not.” Mandy replied. “You do it for recreational purposes!”
“For the Love of God--” Billy shouted and finished gurgling.
“Ladies, ladies!” Ian stopped the girls. “Look, we can settle this disPute with a, ah, mud wrestling match later! But right now, this boat is the last place we want a cat fight!”
“No, it isn’t.” Paul Kirby retorted. “Cuz if they fall in the water, they’ll get really really wet when they fight!”
“Hmm.” Ian considered the idiot’s words. “Well, I, ah, can’t argue with your stoner logic.”
“Dammit, guys! Listen to me!” Billy screamed when Sarah pulled him back up.
“What is it, Billy?” Sarah inquired.
“There’s something following us.”
2 B Continued...
3/7/2003 11:38:45 PM
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