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InGen High p2
By CeratosPit
Down in the quad, Dennis Nedry was sitting at a table finishing a bag of Doritos which he discarded onto a 2 ft pile of... Doritos bags. The sky was getting darker, the wind was getting stronger, and it began to drizzle. He opened up another bag, but became distracted by a noise coming from behind a nearby tree.
"Psst." it whisPered.
Dennis looked at the source. "Yo, Dodgson! 'The Hell took you so long? Get over here!"
The boy cautiously approached. He wore a trench coat, some dark sunglasses and a hat that sat atop his large forehead. "It would do you well to not address me out in the open like that."
"Like anybody gives a rat's ass? Look. HEY! DODGSON! WE'VE GOT DODGSON OVER HERE!"
To Dennis' surprise, somebody threw a tomato at the incognito boy. And various angry student's shouted, "Booooo!" "Go Home, Dodgson!" "You Suck!"
Dodgson scowled at Dennis through his dark shades. But the tubby geek just shrugged. "What? I can't help it if you come from the rival high school. Hey, you had company back there?"
Lewis Dodgson motioned a western looking boy in a brown fedora hat to step out from behind the tree. "Dennis," he introduced, "this is my associate, Tex Murphy. Tex. The pills."
Tex handed Lewis a small tube. By now, Dennis was growing a tad impatient. He stuffed his mouth with nachos and licked the cheese flavor off of his fingers. "Alright, Dodgson, quit playing around. You didn't arrange this secret meeting to pop some pills. What exactly did you call me out for this time?"
"Just some run of the mill sabotage. You know Henry Wu?"
"Henry who? Oh, yeah. That's that Chinese transfer student. Came here about a month ago. Didn't he come in from your school?"
"That's right. The turncoat and I were working on a revolutionary science project. One that would change the face of biological sciences forever! But then he transferred here, along with the basics of our research, and I was doomed to get an F! I swore I would have my revenge, and mark my words-"
"Yeah. Great." Dennis said licking his fingers. "Look, I don't care about the back story. Just tell me, whaaddya want me to do already." He glanced at Tex, and offered him the bag. "Nacho?"
"I'll pass, partner." he politely declined.
"Listen. All you have to know is that Wu's project will involve a couple of birds. What I want you to do, is give 'em these pills." He held up a tube of M&M's minis.
"You want me to feed this guy's birds some M&Ms? Don't worry, I brought some of my own." Dennis opened up his book bag to reveal a treasure trove of junk food. A cockroach crawled over the contents.
"Not M&Ms," Dodgson explained, "DX pills. Degenerative to the Extreme. It creates large, muscular, horny, primitive versions of whatever ingests them. I only put them in this tube to avoid susPicion. Behold."
Lewis threw a DX pill to a nearby squirrel. The little mammal went over to investigate, picked it up and ate it. A few seconds passed by before the squirrel went into a seizure. It thrashed violently, and before long, Squirrely was pumped up and looking for some action. He jumped 15 feet up into the nearby tree's foliage and commenced raping all his squirrel neighbors. Dennis wheezed by laughing so hard at the scene.
"That was great!" Nedry squealed. "Hey. Could I try this stuff."
"It hasn't been tested on humans." Lewis Dodgson warned. "But, if you get the job done, then knock yourself out."
Just then, a pretty young lady walked by. "Hiya, Tex." She greeted Dodgson's partner before walking off.
"Hot dog!" Tex commented. "Boy howdy, you're principal Hammond's daughter is right purtty! I'd love to get her pregnant! Twice!"
From the branches above, the horny squirrel dropped onto Tex's face and began raping that instead. The wind grew strong, and as Tex stood up in shock of what was happening, the wind blew the hat off of his head. Tex ran around, in vain trying to get the squirrel off. This was of little concern to Dodgson who eyed Dennis.
"Don't screw this up, Nedry."
"Nacho?" Dennis offered.
By now, it was 8:15 and the first period bell had rung. The mass of students reluctantly headed into the building. At the back of the crowd were Al and Ian. As they slowly moved to toward the building, something caught Al's eye. At the far corner of the building, he saw three thugs pushing around a young boy. "Hey, Ian. Look." he told his new friend. "Those bullies are picking on a that little kid."
Ian lifted his shades to get a better look. "Ah. Yes, that's poor little Billy Brennan. Some smart 8 year old who got, ah, skipped ahead a bunch of grades. I have a few classes with him. Bummer."
"You're not gonna help him?" Al inquired.
Ian just raised an eyebrow. Al didn't need to hear anymore. He strove boldly to the scene of injustice. After all, if he wasn't going to step up for an 8 year old, who would? Ian ran in front new friend, in an attempt to cut him off and talk some sense into him. "Whoa! Al, hey. Come on, man. What are you, ah, about to do?"
"I'm gonna stand up for that poor little kid. Who do those bullies think they are?"
"Oh, I'll tell you who they are. See the burly black kid? That's Nash. He's on the wrestling team, the bullying team and the beating people within an inch of their life team. The big white kid with the little beard and crazy eyes? That's Cooper. He was transferred here from the Antichrist high school where he majored in ritualistic torture. And the skinny kid with the bushy mustache? Udesky. He's basically the bookie and they're his thugs."
"Well, I don't care if they're made of the Ebola virus! They have no right to beat up on little kids!"
"Ok, ah, Al? Buddy? I know we've only been pals for, ah, 5 minutes, but if you're gonna do something suicidal like this, I can't back you up on that."
Alan stopped and looked his new ex-best friend in the eye. "Well, I can't say I'm not a little disappointed, but I won't hold you to anything. I'm gonna do what I believe is the right thing."
"You, ah, want that written on your epitaph?"
Al didn’t answer. He strode bravely, if not foolishly, towards the setting of wrongdoing and didn‘t bother noticing Ian walk away behind him. Cooper and Nash were kicking Billy on the ground back and fourth in the drizzling rain and wind. They stopped when they noticed the new kid in their presence.
“Hey,” Al said, “why don’t you pick on somebody your own size?”
“Because it lacks the cheap thrill we get out of pummeling smaller kids in an ignorant attempt at hiding from our own insecurities.” Udesky cordially replied. “That said, I have a better idea. Let’s pick on you!”
And so, Cooper and Nash tossed Billy into a garbage can and flew at young Grant. Al tried to muster up whatever little Karate he remembered from a couple of lessons he took at age 7, but his years of inexperience were disPlayed as he got ripped a new one. Nash gave him an atomic wedgie as Cooper chewed the loose skin on Alan’s elbow. Nash then slammed Alan’s back to the ground, and Cooper stomped his size 12” boot into Al’s stomach and twisted it around. Udesky kicked him in the head a couple of times while he was down. The 3 bullies then picked him up and threw him into the school’s brick wall, which Al bounced off of and landed in the trash can next to Billy’s.
“Hey, man.” said Billy from his can. “Not that I don’t appreciate the sentiment or nothing’, but what the Hell are you doing?”
“The right… thing?” Alan coughed up with some blood.
Billy imitated a buzzer sound. “Wrong. You’re following some delusions of heroism and getting a red-ass beat down!”
“Maybe if I play dead…”
“No! Don’t play dead. Cooper will cut out your heart and eat it. Stay conscious as long as you can and they’ll lose interest. Uh-oh.”
Nash came up to Al’s can and pulled out our hero by the neck, holding him up to the brick wall. “Ain’t I seen you around here, kid?”
“No.” replied Alan. “I’m new here…”
“That’s what I thought. I hate new kids! You gonna die, sucka!”
Everything seemed to slow down as Al watched Nash pull his fist back. The sky was dark gray and the strong wind blowing through Al’s hair reminded him of his ride to school. His premonition was right. Today WAS going to suck. But as Nash’s fist began heading towards his soon-to-be-crushed head, a brown fedora hat, blowing the wind, flew into the bully’s face. And in that sPlit second, the fist averted it’s direction by an inch or two, and slammed into the brick wall, just grazing Al’s face. Upon impact, Nash released his victim and bellowed like a baby.
“AAAGGHH!!!” Nash cried, “MAMA! I broke my fist! Sweet lord, I broke my fist!”
The hat, meanwhile, was thrown off Nash’s face and landed on Al’s head, where it would stay for a good long time thereafter. Cooper saw what his cohort was reduced to and shot a crazy look into Al’s direction. It looked like Al’s luck was about to run out.
“Now it’s my turn to have some fun.” said Cooper cracking his knuckles and licking his lips. But he was stopped in his tracks by the voice of authority.
“Hold on, what’s all this, then?” asked a British accent coming from behind the sadist. Cooper growled in disappointment and looked back to see an angry British kid in khaki shorts and a sash labeled ‘hall monitor’.
“Back off, Muldoon, this ain’t none of your business.” Cooper warned.
“I beg to differ.” replied the hall monitor. “You’re outside after the bell rang. I could write you up for that. I could also write you up for engaging in harmful activities. Little Billy has a black eye, there’s blood coming out of this new kid’s mouth, and old Nash here seems to have a broken hand.”
“Can I go see the nurse?” asked Nash, holding back the pain in his voice.
“You may.” said Muldoon. After Nash ran off, he turned his attention to the other two bullies. “Now I didn’t technically see what happened to these two boys, so I won’t write you down for that. But should I see you cast so much as a dirty look at them, I can assure you that your weekends are filled with detentions for the rest of the year.”
“Listen you,” Cooper poked Muldoon’s chest with his finger, “you think you’re a bigshot here with your little sash and limey accent. But if I ever run into you on the street, I’ll-- AGH!!!”
Before Cooper could finish threatening the hall monitor, he found himself being pulled into a submission move rendered by Muldoon. The authority of the latter was proved by this act. Cooper squirmed on the ground with his arms tied up behind him. Udesky approached Muldoon cautiously.
“So, uh, listen, Rob. We’ll be getting back to class, now. But just so you know, the little kid owes me money and the new guy just needs to mind his own business.”
“Take your financial business off school property. And don’t let me catch wankers making trouble again.” He released Cooper from his hold, and Udesky walked his thug back to the building. Cooper looked back angrily, but Muldoon paid no mine. He helped pull Al and Billy out of the trash cans. “Bloody bullies. They should all be destroyed-- I mean, expelled.”
“Well, I believe I am in your debt, Hall monitor--?” Al extended his hand.
“Rob Muldoon.”
“I‘m Al. We’re lucky you showed up when you did.”
“Yeah, thanks Rob.” Billy added. “You totally do a service to your craft.”
“Well, as much as I’d like to take all the glory…” Rob began modestly, “I wouldn’t even be here if that bloke hadn’t warned me.”
Rob pointed behind his shoulder to a tall, lanky kid dressed in black. Ian snap-saluted them back. Suddenly Al noticed how much better the weather had gotten in the past minute. He breathed a sigh of relief and walked over to his pal with Rob and Billy by his side.
“By the by, that’s a nice Fedora, Al.” Rob complimented. “You know where I can get one like that?”
“Um, the Hat Hut down at the mall, I guess.”
The four boys went into the building. Over the entrance hung a banner advertising ‘InGen High’s Annual Sci-Fare'. Suddenly, Muldoon’s walkie talkie went off.
“Muldoon, come in. That foreign exchange student, Enrique is at it again! He’s parasailing around the cafeteria with that Nedry kid’s long johns! Over.”
“Read you loud and clear, Berner. I’m on my way. Over.” Muldoon had to depart from the gang. “Best be on my way, then. Hall monitor’s duty is never finished. Try and get to class alright. Cheerio.”
“Peace out, Rob.” Billy cried.
“Man, Ian, I’m sorry I ever doubted you.” Alan admitted.
“Well, ah, what the hell did you think was going to happen?” Ian asked. “They’d cower before you and run like scared bunnies?”
“I guess I was just following some delusions of heroism and got a red-ass beat down, instead. Thank God you came along when you did.”
“Well, I’d rather not. I’m an atheist.”
“Oh.” said Al. “There’s nothing wrong with that I guess.”
“Who said there was?” Ian asked. Al seemed to have backed himself into a corner here. “Look, people out there want to believe in some omnipotent dude in a, ah, beard, watching over them and making things happen, I-I say let them. If that makes ‘me feel secure, and, ah, gives ‘em answers to questions they’re to scared to find out for themselves, why not? But the way, ah, I see it, saying stuff like ‘everything happens for a reason’ is pure garbage. Things happen, because occurrences before set off chains of events which lead up to them, and never stop. Law of average says, certain occurences are bound to coincide and work in somebody's favor. Therefore, there is no God. There is only chaos. There‘s, ah, there‘s my 2 cents anyway.”
“Yeah, well if there’s no God, then where did this hat come from?” Al asked.
Ian looked at Al strangely. Little Billy rolled his eyes. “Hey man, what class you got now?”
“I dunno.” said Al. “I have to see your principal about that, I guess. Is he nice?”
Ian and Billy looked at each other for a minute. Then burst out into laughter.
“Yeah, ah, Principal Hammond’s great.” Ian said. “Just agree with everything he says, and don’t let him take your blood sample.”
“Blood sample!?”
“That’s right.” Billy added. “He’ll try to clone you in his secret lab!”
Grant realized that they must have been joking. “Tch. You guys are stupid.”
Meanwhile, in the office of male nurse Gerry Harding, Nash sat on the table holding up his broken hand. Dr. Harding walked up with a hypodermic needle.
“Don’t worry, son.” sPoke the nurse. “All I need from you is a little blood sample.”
“And my hand’ll be good as new?” Nash inquired.
“Sure why not?” replied nurse Harding. He extracted some of the young man’s blood, and placed the tube into a very high-tech looking device.
“So, uh, what do I do, now? Sucka?”
“Now, you DIE!!!” yelled Harding, pressing a button which caused young Nash to fall into a pit filled with lions. Meanwhile, behind the wall of Harding’s office, a fetus began growing in a susPended test tube at an accelerated weight. Within seconds, the body took the form of Nash in a fetal position. Next to him, were tubes inhabited by clones of Dennis Nedry, Rob Muldoon and various other kids.
2 B continued...
2/14/2003 8:27:50 PM
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