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InGen High p12
By CeratosPit
Over on the InGen High football field, the bleachers were quite full with anxious, Shimmyvillian onlookers. The game hadn’t started yet, but the band was performing a sPirited rendition of the Jurassic Park theme, which back then was the school‘s anthem. A guy in a giant strand of DNA costume was leading them with a baton. On the other side of the school, Principal Hammond and Peter Ludlow were unlocking the school’s entrance to let the random students go in and get their projects. Peter seemed bewildered by something that Hammond was oblivious to.
“Say, Uncle John…” Peter began.
“That’s Principal Uncle John, boy!” Hammond scolded.
Ludlow sighed. “Say, ’Principal Uncle John, have you noticed anything different about the school grounds?”
“Yes.” he answered. “We added five lunch tables. What do you want?”
“Actually, I was referring to the grass. It’s 6ft high!” Indeed, the school grounds looked something like the Serengeti with grass of that proportion. The lawn had become a field of elephant grass with little paths cutting through it. Hammond and Ludlow entered the school and headed for the gym.
“So, wasn’t it always that size?” Hammond asked.
“No, Uncle-- Principal Uncle John, it was never even 6 inches. Why, the only it could have gotten this size would have been with… super fertilizer. I say, Principal Uncle John, suppose the person who pilfered Nick Van Owen’s super fertilizer--”
“What? sPrayed it all over the school’s grass? Please, Peter, that is simply ludicrous. Believe me, you’re looking way too much into this…”
By now, Hammond had unlocked the gym door and was heading back outside with his nephew. Ahead of them, one of the doors to a random classroom burst open and out walked a frightening slender, two legged creature with a serpentine tail and long gangly arms tipped in sickle like claws. It’s head was long and crocodilian in appearance. The overall size of the creature was nine feet in height and twenty five feet in length. It’s features were obscured by darkness in the school’s hallway.
Hammond wet his pants and Ludlow screamed like a girl. They turned tail and ran away from the creature towards the other end of the hallway. The great, two-legged crocodile roared and gave chase. Behind it, the doors to the school were wide open. Anyone could walk in and anything could walk out.
A smaller creature, similar in shape but for a shorter snout and larger claws on it’s feet, stepped out from it’s precursor’s classroom of origin into the hallway. The little creature stood and gazed at the exit.
Ian Malcolm found a sPot in the the school’s jam-packed parking lot after driving around around. He pulled in, shut the engine off and stepped outside. Al and Billy followed him to the end of the lot, where they were about to leave him.
“Okay.” Ian began. “So, ah, I’m just gonna go in and get my ants. Then I’m out. You sure you’re gonna be able to get, ah, rides home?”
“It’s taken care of.” Billy assured his tallest friend. “I’ll give my bro a ring and he’ll come for us.”
“By the way, I promise I won’t puke on him this time.” Al said half jokingly.
“I guess I’ll see you guys tomorrow, then.” Ian told them as he departed. The three boys exchanged farewells and set off towards their destinations.
Meanwhile, in the guest locker room where the BioSyn High Ubermenche got ready, coach Howard King was finishing up a semi-insPirational sPeech. “Don’t ask yourselves how we can win. Ask yourselves how we can make those InGen High losers succeed. In Losing!” The Ubermenche cheered uproariously.
All their premature victory calls attracted the attention of the smaller creature from the school hallway. But in the clear light of the locker room, it’s characteristics were much more easily distinguished. But no one in the BioSyn High football team had ever seen a velociraptor, so they had no way of knowing that’s what it was.
“What the hell?” asked one of the players.
“It must be their stupid new mascot.” said another.
“But isn’t their mascot that Mr. DNA guy?”
“Well obviously they wanted something a little cooler looking than that pinko!” the player walked up to the raptor and taunted it, thinking it to be an elaborate costume. “Not that this thing is. I think I can see the zipper.” The athlete bent over to examine the raptor’s chest only to get his head ripped off. Coach and the team stared in disbelief.
Deciding that the jock was tasty, the velociraptor raised it’s head and called out a series of five or six cries. More raptors suddenly appeared from the air vents, large shower drains and a pair of back doors. The BioSyn Ubermenche could scarcely believe their eyes, not that they would have them for much longer. The velociraptors fell upon their victims with a fresh new craving for human flesh. Their screams were drowned out by the cheering crowd outside.
Keeping to herself at the end of one of the bleachers, Sarah Harding sat at least fifteen feet away from the nearest sPectator. She seemed immune to the elation in the atmosPhere, with her face down and her arms crossed. Her new look did little to raise her sPirits, and if anything it made her feel like a sellout. And so she sat there with her fresh gear and bling bling with little concern as to how the game would play out.
“Oh my God.” a nearby voice said. “Sarah?” Sarah looked up and around her trying to find the author of this familiar voice. “Back here.” it said. The urban redhead looked behind the bleachers to see her classmate, Mandy walking behind the bleachers. The punk girl came out and sat next to her.
“Oh, hey, Mandy.” Sarah said a little bit glumly. “I didn’t expect to see you here. I thought you hated football?”
“Yeah,” Mandy replied. “but I’m not above sPrinkling pepper into the hair of those annoying cheerleaders.” She pointed over to the aforementioned cheerleaders on the sidelines, led by Principal Hammond’s daughter.
“Okay!” she cried from a distance. “It’s pyramid time!” The ten cheerleaders formed a perfectly executed pyramid, with Lim Hammond on top. Two seconds later, half the cheerleaders found themselves sneezing uncontrollably and collapsed to the sound of screams and shattered glass. The pile of girls burst into flames and one of them could be heard screaming, “Oh my God! My vagina’s broken!”
Amanda chuckled to herself and turned back to face Sarah, who still looked sad. “So what’s wrong with you?”
“Oh, Mandy.” Sarah explained. “I thought that if I acted more, um, ‘urban’, I could get Ian to like me. But he’s just as uninterested in me as he always was. If anything, I’ve distanced myself from him more.”
Mandy patted her friend on the back. “Sarah, you’re problem is that you’ve tried to stand out to this guy by being someone else. In doing so, you reeked of fakeness, made an ass out of yourself, and seemed kinda racist while doing it. You’ll never get people to like you if you’re trying to make them like somebody else. On top of that, you tried to steal him away from his out of town girlfriend. That kinda makes you a whore.”
“I guess I really blew it, huh? And on top of that, I bought two tickets to this game hoping to take him with me, and he doesn’t even like football. He’s probably at home right now, remembering me behave like a dumb white chick at the pizza place.”
“Actually, he’s in the gym right now, remembering you behave like a dumb white chick at the pizza place.”
Sarah was confused. “Wait, what?”
“His science project, remember? He’s in the gym picking it up right now. I saw him leave the parking lot.
“Of course!” Sarah stood up. “I have to go apologize to him. God knows how embarrassing I was back there.”
Mandy stood up beside her. “And just remember, for future reference. If you’re going to make an ass out of yourself for somebody who might not necessarily reciprocate your affections, don‘t do it in public.”
“I know that now, Mandy.” Sarah said as she walked off. “I don’t wanna wind up like that guy!”
What guy was Sarah talking about? Mandy didn’t know, but she put it out of her mind and sat down. She heard the crowd start laughing, so she looked out at the field. What she saw made her want to die. Paul Kirby was running across the football field naked, holding up a sign saying “I love you Mandy Huggankiss!”
2 B Continued...
2/26/2003 9:07:25 PM
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