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300 Dalmatians part 5
By CeratosPit
*No sooner does the small army leave then run into a scrappy and unkempt fellow with a sword and shield of his own and a kitten on his shoulder*
Faganos: Ho! King Herculidas! My name is Faganos. I am a Macedonean Pet Shop Owner. We heard the Dalmatians were on the warpath against the Goths. We were hoping to join you.
Herculidas: *sses nobody else* We?
Faganos: Huh. They must have gotten distracted. *blows a dog whistle to attract a multitude of animals from behind various settings* The Goths torched our shop and groomery. We've been aching to stick it to them ever since.
Herculidas: I see. You there. Pug. What is your profession?
Percy: Arf! Arf! Arf! (Translation: I'm a pampered snob.)
Herculidas: I see. And you?
Nana: Arf! Arf! Arf! (Translation: I'm a babysitter.)
Herculidas: And you?
Stitch: This is my family. It's small and broken but still good. Yeah. Still good.
Tarzanos: My gods! That talking dog! It's blue!
Faganos: So are we in?
Herculidas: Dalmatians! What do we say!?
Soldiers: ARF! ARF! ARF! (Translation: ???)
Faganos:...I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that?
Herculidas: Ha ha ha! Let me me put it to you this way, Faganos. HI HOOOOOOOOO!!!
Soldiers: HI HOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Herculidas: HI HO!
Tarzanos: HI HO!
All: HI HOOOOOOOOOO!!! *all march toward Thermopantolones*
Hup Two Three Four!
Keep it up! Two Three Four!
Herculidas: What do we want!?
All: A war worth dying for!
Aladdinos: It's just around the riverbends!
Clopinos: We can go the distance!
Mulanos: Hear us marching around the hill!
Here to kill every Jack and Jill!
Tarzanos: We're out to fight the Goths, yeah, the Goths, yeah, the Goths, yeah,
We're out to fight the Goths, yeah, because he told us so!
Herculidas: What do we want!?
All: A war worth dying--
*Everybody pauses as they come across the burning remains of the town Krapanj. Tarzanos takes a few to investigate and reports to Herculidas*
Herculidas: What happened here?
Tarzanos: Most likely a Goth scouting party. 'Twas barbaric. The fires were started by flaming bags of dog poop left on front porches which sPread far and fast due to rolls of toilet paper unfurled over the roofs and treetops.
Clopinos: Mailboxes were smashed, probably by baseball bats. And naughty words were found painted on the walls that had not yet burned or collapsed.
Mulanos: Have the gods no mercy?
Herculidas: Any dead?
Tarzanos: We found no bodies.
Mulanos: Incoming!
*The Dalmatians and animals huddle together in battle formation, sPears all pointed at a dark figure whose silohuette rises through the fog in the sunset on the hill overhead. It turns out to be a little girl*
Tarzanos: Child.
*the dying little girl stumbles over to Herculidas who catches as she drops from her last steps*
Lilos: *whisPering* They came from the blackness...animal skins...Guy Falkes masks...thought I was dead...tied me...with the others...*dies*
Aladdinos: *from hilltop* Up here! I found the villagers!
*Everybody walks uphill to find the remains of Krapanj's townsfolk mangled together to form the logo of a giant, asymmetrical letter V in a circle*
Faganos: The child sPeaks of the barbarians from the north. Descended from feral children who never fully grew up and raise hell wherever the go. It looks like they're working for the Goths now. These hooligans. These...Vandals.
Herculidas: Vandals? Let's see if we could raise more hell than them.
2 B Continued...
9/16/2008 1:37:18 AM
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