|
--Myassic Fart-- Reposted (Part 1)
By Carnotaur3
MYASSIC FART
A CARNOTAUR 3 and VITO HARDY
COLLABERATION
CARNOTAUR 3 - WRITER
EXT. TORONTO RAPTOR PEN – NIGHT
ROBERT MULHEAD stood, watching the raptor box head towards the pen. His face was disgusted when he smelled the gassy odor in the air.
MULHEAD
Damn you, Toronto!
Through the cage, the raptor seemed to grin, then said:
TORONTO RAPTOR #1
NO, damn you, Mulhead.
The cage came to rest on the concrete platform. JEFFRY came to open the door to the pen.
Mulhead asked for all guards to be ready if anything should happen. The guards held their stun guns up.
As JEEFRY opened the crate, the Toronto Raptor #1 ran fast and the box jolted back, knocking JEEFRY down on the ground.
JEEFRY felt his body being pulled into the box, the raptor was holding him by the foot, and it seemed he was pulling him into. Um… Something BIG!
JEEFRY
AHHHH!!!
He screamed!
Mulhead ran for his rescue.
MULHEAD
SHOOT HER!!!
He said, as JEEFRY was being pulled up the raptor’s ASS!
MULHEAD
My Goodness. The raptor is probing itself with the gate keeper.
GUARD
Sexual explicate scenes, no children aloud!
The raptor got the gate keepers head up it’s butt.
INT. ASS – DARK
JEEFRY screamed as the dung swirled all over his head. The crap moving down his throat.
CUT TO:
NARRATER
HOLY shit! This is disgusting, cut to something else, please!
CUT TO:
Back to Mulhead.
MULHEAD
Shoot her! The raptor is about to suffocate him.
As the raptor engulfed JEEFREY’S body, we
CUT TO:
EXT. COSTA RICA – DAY
The hot dry air was terrible for GENARROW’S condition, yet he pushed on in the jungle trail.
He finally found the man he was looking for.
GENARROW
Too son ya!
(Your mother is a fat cow!)
Genarrow is reading a Costa Rican language book.
The Costa Rican laughed.
COSTA RICAN
(His language in English)
You don’t understand a single Costa Rican language do you?
GENARROW
I’m looking for Juan Hammond!
COSTA RICAN
(His language in English)
Your mom has nice tits.
The Costa Rican laughs. Genarrow shrugs and laughs with him.
COSTA RICAN
(His language in English)
Your mom’s is the best.
They both start to laugh again.
COSTA RICAN
(Now starts to speak English)
So you’re looking for Juan Hammond, eh?
GENARROW
Yes.
COSTA RICAN
Sorry to say, he’s not here.
GENARROW
I established a special meeting with him, and he want even bother to see me.
COSTA RICAN
He has no time. His asses…errrr, dream park is in the works. But he told me to tell you that your invited to see it with a group of scientists.
VITO HARDY - WRITER
CUT TO:
EX:Montana Badlands-Day
Camera moves around to show several people all over each other kissing and having sex right ontop of a fossil of a Toronto Velociraptor. They all seemed to be screaming with delight untill someone walked up the hill and started yelling to them.
WORKER(yelling)
"Hey if you guys want to join in a computer cyber sex we've got one going. I recogment that you come and look at it Dr. Cant.
Camera focuses on Alan Cant standing up. He turns around to see Ellie Assler standing beside him. She starts to place a hancerchiff around his neck and then she starts chocking him with it.
ELLIE(yelling)
"How dare you cheat on me with that fag Billy Brennan! I can't believe you!"
CANT(chocked)
"I'm sorry Ellie. It wasn't my fault that we both got in trouble and went to jail to have me drop the soap and then get butt fucked by him!"
ELLIE stops chocking him.
"That's ok. I had a great time with your ex-wife last night anyway."
Cant stares at her oddly
CANT
"Ellie, she's been dead for two years."
ELLIE
"Sex with the dead is cool!"
Ellie starts moving down the hill when she trips over a very stupid and fat kid on her way down. They both tumble to the bottom of the hill and Cant runs down to them. Cant very concerned helps the kid to his feet.
CANT
"You'll have to excuss Dr. Assler. She can really be a pain."
ELLIE
"Alan! Aren't you going to help me up?"
CANT
"You have a dick. You can get yourself up!"
ELLIE
"Excuss you!"
Suddenly a helicopter comes flying down very fast and then crashes into the dig site trailer exploding the trailer in flames. Two people come running out of the trailer. One of them is an old man named Juan Hammond and the other is the cartoon character, Launchpad McQuake.
LAUNCHPAD
"Sorry about that Mr. Hammond. I don't know what happened."
HAMMOND
"I know exactly what happened you stupid dickshit! You crashed! No wonder Scrooge gave you to me! Damn that duck!"
Alan Cant and Ellie Assler run up to the two people to see what the matter was.
HAMMOND
"Yes is this the Erotic Dig Site?"
CANT
"Yes. I'm Alan Cant and this is Ellie Assler."
ELLIE
"You stupid jerk! How dare you destroy our trailer like that! The only bed was in there! How are we supposed to have sex in there now!"
CANT
"Calm down bitch! This is Jaun Hammond."
ELLIE
"Did I say jerk? I meant to say God- I mean I'm sorry sir."
HAMMOND
"That's ok. I have a proposition tat I'd like for you both to take. If you do take it I trust you lots of pleasure in the future."
CANT
"Yebba Debba Doo!!!!!!"
ELLIE
"Scobby Dubby Doo!!!!!!"
HAMMOND
"Scrappy Dappy Doo!!!!!!"
LAUNCHPAD
"YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!"
Everyone stares at Launchpad and then Hammond takes out a huge pincel and erasses Launchpad with it.
HAMMOND(smiling evily)
"Well let's go and meet your doom."
CARNOTAUR 3 - WRITER
CUT TO:
Narrator sits in a comfortable chair.
NARRATOR
Now, as we all know, something is going to happen that will change the course of history…
He cut off by a man saying, from the audience:
MAN
You suck!
Narrator jumps up.
NARROTOR
You want to take outside you dick head?
MAN
Your on!
Narrator says to the audience.
NARRATOR
Be back in a couple of hours! You shit! I’ll kill you!
CUT TO:
EXT. COSTA RICAN BEACH – DAY
At a restaurant, NEDRY THE HUT sits with his food on his table. He starts to gobble it down quickly when he sees DODGON.
NEDRY THE HUT
Yo, SEX machine!
Dodgon feels uncomfortable and sits down quickly.
DODGON
You shouldn’t use my nickname!
Nedry the Hut looks around.
NEDRY THE HUT
Sex machine, we have a sex machine here!
A woman calls from underneath a table.
WOMAN
One under here too.
Nedry the Hut smiles.
NEDRY THE HUT
See nobody care. Even if we did have hot steamy flaming homosexual sex.
Dodgon grins.
DODGON
I was drunk that night.
Nedry the Hut smiles.
NEDRY THE HUT
Sure you were.
DODGON
Let’s get down to business. 15 big ASSED species you need to get off the island.
Hut squeals like a pig and starts to crap in his chair when he gets the big brown bag.
DODGON
You think you can do this?
NEDRY THE HUT
I’ll get em all. How am I supposed to transport them?
Dodgon takes out a dildo from his bag.
DODGON
The head screws off…
He squeals again.
DODGON
Then you just stick the embryos into the dildo.
NEDRY THE HUT
Wow, can I use it for other things.
DODGSON
You disgusting blob.
NEDRY THE HUT
What I do?
PART 2 coming soon.
6/28/2002 9:40:17 PM
Comment on this fan fiction!
|
|
|
