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    #330
    The 1998 MTV movie awards featured Ben Stiller, Jeneane Garaffalo, and Mike Myers in the roles of Malcolm, Sarah, and Nick in a parody of TLW's trailer scene. In the parody, a giant Jay Leno attacks the trailer and is subdued by TLW's own Vince Vaughn, both appearing as themselves. (From: jurassiraptor)
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    --Home Sweet Home-- Part 1
    By Carnotaur3









    HOME SWEET HOME








    WRITTEN BY CHASE KUERTZ





    1 EXT. OUTSIDE OF HOUSE – NIGHT

    It was a cold, bleak night at 315 DANIEL DRIVE. The wind howling through the air like a GHOSTLY PRESENCE. But it was not far off from the truth. The truth that was inside of the house.

    Couple of glances of the HOUSE then it

    FADES TO:

    2 INT. ROOM – DARK

    Only a light in the middle of the table was the only way the two males could see each other. DAN HENDERSON sat tense in his chair, listening to the voice of the inspector.
    The inspector’s name was JERRY HOLDEN.

    JERRY
    Dan, I’d like you to speak to the recorder very slowly. Tell what you saw in the house. What you felt. What you heard. Can you do that, Dan?

    Dan was still tensed. His eyes twitched in the glaring light.

    And with a stuttering voice he remarked:

    DAN
    I can…ca…can try.

    JERRY
    Again this time.

    Dan closed his eyes, as if escaping into his quite place, and, then, very slowly, he began to open them again he talked.

    DAN
    I had been deeply depressed after our daughter’s death. God knows Gab was too. I guess we had no intent to live in the old house. The house we grew so accustomed too.

    He started rubbing the temples of his forehead.

    DAN (cont’d)
    What Gab and I wanted to do, was to forget about her. We did not want to live the rest of our lives thinking why we should live on without her. So, we went out to find a new house. And it wasn’t the third time of looking we finally had found what we were looking for.

    FADE TO:

    SIX MONTHES AGO


    3 INT. HOUSE – DAY

    The driveway was lonely, just sitting there with nothing on it, until a blue van parked right on it a few second later. Out of the van came DAN and GABBY HENDERSON.

    They were cheerful and happy, just what you’d expect a married couple would be. They looked around at the surrounding houses. The house were joyful. The park across from them was green. The playground, although nice looking, had no kids playing on them.
    The neighborhood seemed a little quiet.

    As they got out of the vehicle, Danny couldn’t help but notice the door to the house was open.



    As they went up the sidewalk, Gabby began to feel really cold. She cuddled up to Dan as they walked.

    GABBY
    It’s…Really cold out here!

    Dan put his hands around her.

    DAN
    Yeah, it is.

    Sounding a little unsure of themselves, they went into the house.


    4 INT. HOUSE - DAY

    As they went in they found that the cold wasn’t gone.

    DAN
    I thought a house like this would have a heater.

    GABBY
    So, would I.

    They both went apart and looked around the house.

    DAN
    It’s an ok place.

    And Gabby said, as if she could barely get it out:

    GABBY
    Yeah.

    Dan looked up the staircase to the upper floor. He wondered that if the door was open, then, the seller was probably here.

    DAN
    ANYBOY HOME?

    A man looked out of the bathroom door. His name was JEROLD FORD.

    FORD
    Oh, I’m sorry, guys.

    Ford came into view and went up to shake his hand.

    FORD (cont’d)
    Jerold Ford. I’ll be taking you around the house.

    Gabby shook his hand after Dan.

    GABBY
    It’s appreciated!

    DAN
    It was a little cold in here.

    FORD
    It was? Well, this house does have some drafts come in.

    DAN
    That might be true, but in the middle of summer?

    FORD
    I’m not a weather expert, but, seems like it.

    Ford walked to the kitchen, his feet skimming across the tile. There was water on his shoe. Dan thought he probably had pissed on himself.

    Dan kind of snickered, but then, he shook it off.

    Following Ford, Gabby and Dan entered the kitchen.

    FORD
    As you can see this is the kitchen. It’s pretty nice, if I say so myself. You got a stove, dishwasher, cabinets, and even a little grill here next to the stove. I’ve tried this grill out and it’s something!

    GABBY
    We have a George Foreman!

    FORD
    Yeah, those are pretty nice! But this thing makes great tasting burgers. Now, if you follow me…

    He made his way to the next room, it was the media room.

    FORD (cont’d)
    Here’s the media room, only a big screen n here though. It has a computer.

    DAN
    I’m sorry, Mr. Ford, but these aren’t our stuff. The people who lived here will take these when they leave.

    FORD
    I’m sorry, I never got your name.

    DAN
    I’m Dan Henderson, and this is my wife, Gabby.

    FORD
    Mr. Henderson, the owners of this house left it about two months. They went missing. No one knew where they went.

    DAN
    Well, then, they might still be alive.

    FORD
    I didn’t finish. Only recently they found their bodies in the lake at the park.

    Dan and Gabby felt the draft come in again. They shuddered from the cold and the story.

    GABBY
    That’s horrible.

    FORD
    I know it’s a lot to take in. We didn’t want anybody to know about this. Can this be our secret, because if you don’t want the house, I really don’t want to get the word out that this was the house of them persons?

    DAN
    Sure, we’ll keep it to ourselves.
    FORD
    Most appreciated sir, most appreciated. Now, if you follow me, I’ll take you to the den.

    We see the three walk out of the room, then, it

    FADES TO:

    JULY

    3/29/2002 1:12:35 PM

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