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Most Enjoyable Story In Site History
By CarnaRaptor
General Rancor and Panos were playing an intense game of hopskotch and the battle grew evident with every turn they took.
"I...am...the...stronger....MAN!" proclaimed Gen. Rancor as he finally hopped on the last square. He went inside to get a bowl of Gerbers from his mother than came back outside. It all came down to this. If Panos could just finish this round of hopskotch, he still had a chance. He took a deep breath and started the hopping.
1....
2.....
3......
4........
"D'oh" shouted Panos as he fell back down to the earth as his fatass shook everything within a 10 mile radius. He had failed, he had...lost. His dignity had been shot.
"Haha, I win" shouted General Rancor, finishing his bowl of Gerbers.
"Ugh, whatever dude. Youre like so totally annoying. Why cant you like just like you know like be nice like you know?"
General Rancor started to cry at the statement. "Like, youre the one that wanted to and like why like jeez like its all your fault like"
They than apologized, frenched each other a little., and then went back to Panos' house to watch SchoolHouse Rock. They laughed and giggled and felt up eachothers shirts as they watched it. It was such a fun day.
But it then got funner.
Darth Rancor had come back to his old pals after years of fighting for Gay Pride in Amsterdam. They couldnt be happier.
"Oh my god its so wonderful to see you to again" said Darth
"Oh yes baby, Ive missed you too. But you like totally missed the most amazing play in football history while you were gone"
"The Rams beating the Titans by one yard?"
"No silly, one of the guy cheerleaders for the Ravens dropped his pants during the Super Bowl. It was wild"
"How small was it?" said a wide-eyed Darth
"Smaller than ours fellaz" said Panos
The 3 of them were saddened by that fact. Believe it or not, there was someone with a smaller dick then them out there.
"Its ok guys, hey how bout we go down to the local theatre and watch Jurassic Park 3?"asked Gen Rancor
"That would be splendid" said Darth
So Panos, General and Darth Rancor all hopped on their pink tricycle and strolled down to the movies. While they were there.....
"Hey dude, this movie sucks! Where's that hotass Tim kid!" shouted an angry Panos.
(a voice in the back said "Right Here", but they didnt hear)
"Hey shutup back there" said a voice in the front.
"What?! How dare you speak to me in such a manner. Thats like rude!" said Panos fixing his snap-on bra.
"I can speak to you anyway I want. Because I...." the man arose from his seat as the shortass movie finished.
"Am General Thade!!!!"
"Oh no!, not General Thade! he like totally scarred me for life when he raped a couple years back."
"Yea well, this time im gonna kill you. All 3 of you!!!"
"Make that four!!" said a voice, the figure walked through the theatre doors.
It was Dryptosaurus!
Dryptosaurus had aged dramatically since we last saw him. White hair had mutated his body along with giant warts. He also had a pin on that read "I am a Testicle Donor"
"Drypto, thank god you're back! We've been missin..."
"Enough!" shouted Thade
Suddenly the Mortal Kombat song played over the speakers. Max and ASSHOLETIBACK had come to Thades aid. They played patticake, slapped ass, then got into fight position.
"Were gonna kick all 4 of your asses" shouted ASSHOLETIBACK.
"Uh, well, your an asshole" cried the crippled Dryptosaurus.
"No shit shirlock" said a sarcastic ASSHOLETIBACK.
Max hopped onto one of the theatre seats and pounced on Panos. Panos thought it was erotic at first, but then realized Max had ravaged his body into pieces. He soon died.
Dyptosaurus was angered by this and jumped on Maxs back. "Yay piggyback ride!" said an enthusiastic Drypto. Max tried to get him off, but he was losing energy fast. He then heard a scream that defeaned his ear. It seemed Drypto had let go of him. But why? He turned around and saw ASSHOLETIBACK beating down on Drypto with a 2x4. Blood and guts were spitting every where.
Only General Rancor and Darth Rancor remained from the once-proud franchise of Gay Misfits.
"Its time to die chump!" said Thade.
"General Rancor, its stoner-bashing time!!". Thade picked up a seat and sent it corralling at Rancors head. Ripping it clean off. Darth ran chasing after his head.
General Rancor walked around the theatre headless. The others watched and laughed at him. Max started throwing popcorn down his neck. General Rancor began to choke. ASS, Max, and Thade ran for cover because Gen Rancor was dying and that meant that the 2 ton fatass was gonna fall down.
"General Rancor, i found y..." General Rancors fatass pancaked Darth and both of them died.
Max, ASSHOLETIBACK, and General Thade stood victorious. They began to walk out of the theatre when lightning began to shoot out of nowhere all over the place. They were freightened and startled by what was happening. A flash of light then began to move forward towards them
"Is that....Is that Jesus?" asked Max.
"No!!!!!" said the figure
"What the hell are you then?" said General Thade with his hands at his hips.
"I!!!!!!! AM!!!!! RANCOR!!!!!!!!!!"
The 3 pussies begged on their knees for foregiveness.
"Please! Please dont hurt us! We never meant to be jackasses!!"
"TOOO LATEEE SHITHEADSSS" proclaimed Rancor, as he shot lightning bolts that made the 3 jackasses blast into oblivion
Rancor then walked off back into the pleasant universe, with no spamming jackasses left at Dans site. The members of Dans site walked in and clapped and applauded for Rancor.
If only life wasnt so cruel
THE END P.S. SGD couldnt make it to the set of this movie because he had the flu. He was too weak to handle it so he passed away shortly after
Please comment :)
1/21/02 6:07:38 PM
(Updated: 1/21/02 6:19:04 PM)
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