|
Slayer - Episode 4x13 - Christmas Anniversery
By Ben
CHARGER CITY – THE MAGIC BOX
BEN, RIVER, TARA, MANDY and FALCON stood inside.
Ben: Well, it’s not bad – a bit of a fix-it-up job, but I think we can manage.
Tara: Who’s going to run it?
Ben: Well, Brad said he talked to his cousin, the owner of the one in Sunnydale. He said it was fine for it sprawl off, as the one in Sunnydale was destroyed.
Tara: Oh.
Ben: So when Brad returns from England, he’ll take over at the school as Librarian, and I’ll stay here as the manager.
River: That’s great guys, but can we play with this later? I think the tree lighting service is starting.
Ben: No, it’s not at church, Riv. Its downtown. It’s a ‘gathering,’ not a ‘service.’
River: Whatever! Let’s go.
DOWNTOWN
OUTSIDE THE MAYOR’S OFFICE
MANY citizens stand around a SMALL STAGE, holding a PODIUM where MAYOR BOB KLINE stands talking. The CITIZENS are bundled up with coats and boots, as if they were anticipating snow, but alas Charger City has not seen snow since the Ice Age.
Bob: As many of you know, the election this year was a shocker. My last year as Mayor will begin, and then my first year as Governor will begin. It is an exciting time for myself and my fiancé.
BOB acknowledges BETHANY, sitting down, waving gracefully.
Bob: I have done my best to take care of this town as Mayor, and big whoop. Not like I’m leaving the city!
The CROWD LAUGHS.
BEN, TARA, MANDY, RIVER and FALCON come in to the big group. They stand near the back. RIVER sips on some HOT COCOA. He looks up at FALCON.
River: Falcon, you want any?
Falcon: No thanks mate. Unless there is the slightest bit of blood in it, I don’t drink it.
River: Your loss.
Bob: That’s one of the nice things, not having to move. Instead of just this town, I’ll be taking care of New Johnston state! I know a lot of weird things have happened lately, some talk of demons and weirder things, but I assure all of you, I will have this matter resolved immediately…
The CROWD cheers.
Bob: …And it is with great pride that we light the tree on this very joyous occasion of the celebration of Christ, let alone for the kids, the celebration for presents and Santa Claus and Rudolph!
BOB presses a button his podium and the CHRISTMAS TREE lights up.
The CROWD “Ooh’s and Aw’s”
An EXPLOSION
BOB is thrown to the ground, covering BETHANY as they are both being covered by a FEW MEN.
BEN and the GANG look around.
Mandy: What was that?
River: I don’t know, but it made me spill my freaking cocoa! I’m pissed!
Ben: Let’s fall back guys, it might be some demons…
DAC and a few of his TROOPS walk around the corner.
Dac: Tear it up, boys!
OPENING CREDITS
A Zoom in of Charger City at night. “SLAYER” appears in red text. Scenes of BEN, RIVER, PARA, RICK, RYAN, and TARA walking down a hallway.
BEN dives through a window and pulls out a cross bow with a flaming arrow on the end. He releases the trigger and hits a VAMPIRE which explode into dust. [Starring Ben] BEN, BECKY, and ICE attack dozens of DEMONS.
BRAD throws an AXE in a GRAVEYARD, missing the VAMPIRE, but sending it the other direction.
PARA throws a blue glowing orb at a DEMON. She dances with BEN at a NIGHT CLUB. PARA and BECKY roll on the ground, PULLING each other’s hair. [Para girl] PARA looks at a map with RICK.
SHANE and MARTY swing BASEBALL BATS at a HUGE SCALY DEMON.
RIVER walks into his high school, greeted by SHANE and MARTY. RIVER runs at a wall of lockers and flip kicks himself over a bully. [Jedi A. Malcolm] VAMPIRES surround RIVER, he spins around with a sword, decapitating them all as they turn to dust.
RIVER and HEATHER RUN from VAMPIRES.
TARA looks through her books of spells. TARA kisses MANDY on the lips. [JP3 Girl] TARA’S body splits in too DARK MAGIC and LIGHT MAGIC. Tara throws herself into a portal and it seals.
SETH REX starts throwing SHOES from the shoe store at BEN inside CHARGER CITY MALL.
RICK spars in a ring with BEN. RICK pulls his crossbow out and fires. RICK thrusts his ARM out at an oncoming VAMPIRE. The VAMPIRE turns to dust as a WOODEN STAKE goes back into RICK’S sleeve. [Rick Arnold] Rick embraces SAMANTHA.
RYAN is held at Gun Point. RYAN spars with BEN. [Dark Hunter as Ryan] RYAN’S hands glow and they produce lightning. RYAN throws a VAMPIRE into a BONFIRE.
BRAD blows a dust which begins to GLISTEN in mid air. BRAD stands on a stage holding a microphone. BRAD, BEN and PARA run down a hallway [And Brad as Bradley Giles] BRAD and DAC engage in a sword fight.
BEN and RIVER walk the streets of CHARGER CITY with their BLACK coats flapping in the wind as if they were capes.
With only 4 more shopping days left - shouldn't you have your shopping done? 4 more days until Christmas...and 4 more days until AgEnt Compy's first movie!!!
Two Weeks Notice...is out...so is Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers...and so is Drumline...but we're not advertising them...not at all.
DAC’S TROOPS head off into the CROWD attacking the CITIZENS
Dac: Don’t beat up the children…just take away the toys or break them.
THE STAGE
[Special Guest Star Emma Caulfield as Anya]
Bob: Someone call that Rick guy…the one with the army that does the weird things!
Man: We paged them sir, as soon as the explosion went off we sent for them.
Bob: They’d be here by now…
Man: Any other ideas?
Bob: Don’t get the police involved…
Man: Sir you know this man, is there anyone else who can take care of him?
DAC got on stage.
[Special Guest Star Mandee as Mandy]
The SECRET SERVICE MEN started to charge at him. DAC lifted his arm and the MEN flew back into the TREE knocking it down.
BEHIND a FOOD VENDOR
BEN looks around.
Ben: Okay, it’s nutshell Dac.
River: Let’s kill him.
Ben: River, no. We have human laws that we must obide by.
River: Yeah, yeah…I know. Never hit another human because you’re the Slayer.
Ben: I hit you all the time thank you very much.
River: Well then punch the hell out of Dac.
Ben: Good plan. Tara and Mandy, help out whoever you can. Get them safely out of here. Use magic as little as you can. Or use magic to get the weapons out of Dac’s troops’ hands. Falcon, take out any of these goons that you can.
Falcon: They’re human.
Ben: Beat them up.
Falcon: It’ll burn.
Ben: Do it.
[Guest Starring Aragorn as Shane]
[JP Junkee as Marty]
[PunkNerd as Joey Russo]
BEN and the GANG split up. BEN and RIVER started their way towards THE STAGE.
DAC picked up BOB.
Dac: Who are you trying to call for, Mayor? The Elite? I destroyed every single vehicle they have, or had.
Bob: Dac, it’s me…Bob…I fought alongside you! You don’t want to do this.
Dac: Oh, but I do think I want to do this.
Bob: Think of the children.
Dac: Screw the children…listen to that…that is the sound of children crying. Isn’t it glorious?
[Labyrinth as Falcon]
DAC pulled his hand back, ready to strike at BOB.
RIVER leapt on the STAGE, behind BOB.
River: You’re such a big man, Dac. Beat him up.
Dac: Oh I will.
River: Or you could fight someone your own size.
Dac: Like who?
River: Me.
[Bob as Mayor Bob Kline]
Dac: Oh…I’d love to beat the snot out you. You were a pain in the ass.
River: I still am.
[Episode written and directed by Ben Smythe]
DAC dropped RIVER.
BEN got on STAGE behind DAC. He PULLED BETHANY and BOB away.
Bob: Ben? Is it really you?
Ben: In the flesh. Congratulations on Governor, by the way.
Bob: Oh! Thank you. Did you vote?
Ben: Not for you.
Bob: Oh. Is that River?
[Supervising Producer Vader]
DAC ran at RIVER. RIVER fell to the ground and LEG SWEPT DAC. DAC fell on his FACE.
Ben: Sure is.
RIVER picked up a folding chair and held it over his head. ONE of DAC’S TROOPS leapt onto the STAGE. RIVER SWUNG the CHAIR at the TROOPER, knocking him unconscious.
Ben: That’s my cue to go.
RIVER was about to smash the CHAIR down on DAC when BEN pulled the CHAIR out of his hands.
River: Hey!
Ben: No more DWF for you.
River: Oh please!
DAC got up and FACED BEN and RIVER.
BEN and RIVER both SIDEKICKED DAC to the ground.
Ben & River: Stay down.
TARA and MANDY escorted the KIDS to an AREA. FALCON gathered the adults and had them follow.
Tara: Everyone! Listen!
Mandy: We know those bad troops took away the toys…but we have something special for you all.
Child: Christmas Magic?
TARA melted with emotion as the little boy said that.
Tara: Oh! That’s so precious! The boy is right! We have Christmas Magic!
TARA and MANDY waved their hands and DAC’S TROOPS turned into CIRCUS CLOWNS.
The ADULTS looked shocked. The KIDS cheered.
TARA and MANDY waved their hands again, and the TOYS that were broken became animated with life and FIXED themselves. The KIDS CHEERED.
THE STAGE
DAC got back up.
Dac: No more! We’re leaving. We’re sorry.
DAC started to walk away.
BECKY flashed between BEN’S EYES. She talked to him telepathically.
Becky: Punch him out of here…I’ve got the rest taken care of.
BECKY appeared so ONLY BEN could see her.
The TWO stood next to each other and PUNCHED DAC. BECKY’S PUNCH sent DAC in the air.
Becky: Consider that our Christmas gift. Don’t let River stay up all night watching Charlie Brown again this year.
BEN smiled as BECKY vanished.
The DOWNTOWN area looked like a TORNADO BLEW threw.
Did you see how shiny Tara and Mandy's Magic looked on the screen? Ah-ha! I bet you used it on your computer monitor, because Windex - Makes it Shine!
BEN’S HOUSE
BEN, RIVER, FALCON, TARA and MANDY walked in the house.
Mandy: I mean goodness! I can’t believe Dac would try and ruin Christmas. It’s one of the happiest times of the year.
Tara: Well, I don’t think it’s Dac.
Ben: What do you mean?
Tara: Sort of like when Ryan was working the mojo for Falcon and he stole that book from the Magic Box, we could tell it wasn’t really him. That’s not Dac. He was too nice a few months ago.
Ben: Tara, you may just be onto something.
RIVER and FALCON went into the LIVING ROOM
Tara: You think?
Ben: Yeah, I’d almost say it’s research time, but it’s Christmas eve, let’s just make the best of it. Let’s try and enjoy ourselves.
Tara: Yeah. We deserve it.
BEN and TARA smiled at each other. TARA giggled.
Ben: What is it?
Tara: Remember back in high school?
Ben: Yeah?
Tara: You were always like my big brother, just taking care of me.
Ben: Well, I had to. Ice was to weak after I came along. You needed someone to protect you.
Tara: I miss him sometimes.
LIVING ROOM
FALCON and RIVER are fighting over the TV CONTROLLER
Falcon: Give it!
River: No you give it!
FALCON started to SLAP RIVER’S hands, like a girl.
BEN and TARA walked in.
Ben: Hey!
FALCON and RIVER stopped
Ben: When I’m marveling at the immaturity, beware.
Falcon: He started it.
Ben: I don’t care who started it.
River: So what’s going on? No party this year?
Ben: I don’t think so. Ryan’s not here, Brad’s not here, it’s just not a good time because the gang is so separated.
River: It’s just two people, and I could invite Shane and Marty to fill in.
Tara: That’s okay. Mandy and I can handle the decorating.
Ben: Okay, fine. I’ll run out and grab some food, if the store’s aren’t closed or too busy.
Falcon: I’ll go with you.
BEN and FALCON walked out the front door.
RIVER picked up the phone and started to dial as MANDY and TARA flung their arms around and CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS appeared.
PIGGLY WIGGLY SUPERMARKET
BEN and FALCON push their way through the hellacious crowd of people.
Falcon: You know, we just saved like half of these people earlier tonight, and they don’t have the decency to let us get through, let alone buy our stuff first?
Ben: Its Christmas shopping, Falcon. It’s the survival of the fittest out here.
Falcon: But you’re the Slayer…
Ben: Don’t finish that sentence.
BEN grabbed a can of YAMS, at the same moment an OLDER LADY grabbed the SAME CAN.
Ben: Hey! I got it first!
Lady: Well, I’m older!
Ben: So?
Lady: No respect for the elderly.
Ben: What? I so have respect.
Lady: Then let me have these yams.
Ben: Look lady, there are no other cans of yams here, so no.
Falcon: Yeah…bugger off.
BEN looked at FALCON. The LADY pulled her CANE out from her SHOPPING CART. She STARTED swinging the CANE at BEN’S HAND.
Ben: Stop that!
Lady: Give them up!
Ben: Regis? Regis Philbin, is that you?
Lady: Regis? WHERE?
THE LADY looked all over and loosened her grip on the YAMS. BEN and FALCON DASHED out of that AISLE.
Falcon: Good call on that Regis thing.
Ben: I try.
BEN sighed.
Ben: So what else do we need? Cookies, Milk, Carrots, and some of those frozen Stouffer’s Dinners.
BEN and FALCON started to walk forward until they bumped into a BROWN haired woman.
Woman: Watch it!
Ben: Sorry ma’am.
The WOMAN turned around. It was ANYA.
COMMERCIAL
Roasted Yams - Everyone's not so favorite holiday dish!
Yeah...we made mention of the DJWF...not like I support it by any means, but it made for an entertaining line...
BEN’S HOUSE
MANDY and TARA stood in the KITCHEN, avoiding the mass amount of people inside the HOUSE.
Mandy: Ben is going to be really ticked off.
Tara: Yeah, I’d almost say we should split it, but I don’t want to leave until Ben gets home, but when he gets home, he’ll yell at us for letting River invite this many people over.
RIVER walked into the KITCHEN.
River: Hey ladies! Come join the “Ho! Ho! HOOO! Train!”
Tara: River, why did you call this many people over?
River: I have a lot of friends, I guess.
Mandy: River, these people have got to leave. Shane and Marty and few others are fine, but 30 people are a bit too much.
River: Sure. Just ruin my fun.
Mandy: We don’t want to ruin your fun, we don’t want Ben getting home and finding this out. He’ll be so upset with you.
JOEY RUSSO walked into the KITCHEN.
Joey: Wow Summers. Not only is this a tight pad, but this party is pretty kick ass too. You should have them more often.
BEN stood behind JOEY, with ANYA and FALCON.
Ben: Oh, he will. In about twenty years. Falcon, get them out of here fast.
FALCON’S FACE morphed into a VAMPIRE’S face.
He STARTED CHASING the KIDS around. The KIDS screamed and ran out of the house.
MARTY and SHANE looked at FALCON.
Marty: I knew it! I knew he was a vampire!
Shane: I told you that, numb nuts.
FALCON’S FACE changed back to normal.
Tara: Anya!
Mandy: Anya?
TARA and MANDY hugged her.
Anya: Please…back off.
Ben: She’s a Vengeance Demon again.
Anya: Sorry, just not in the hugging mood. I was about to finish my work here when I was interrupted.
Tara: How.
Anya: I’m here, aren’t I? And why are you all in Charger City? What happened to Dansville?
Ben: We split. Nothing was there for us, so we moved here.
Anya: All of you?
Ben: Yeah.
Anya: How pathetic.
Ben: Listen Anya, all I need to know is what you were doing here, then you’re free to go.
Anya: I was granting a wish. That’s what I do.
Ben: A wish on whom?
Anya: This girl, she was picked on at work. She wished that one day, they would all come up to her and apologize and treat her like a queen.
BEN looked blankly.
Anya: What? It’s the truth.
Ben: My Aunt Fannie!
River: We have an Aunt Fannie?
Ben: River, you’re in enough crap with me. I suggest you not talk.
River: Right.
Ben: Anya, I’ve known you for like five years. You were not going to reverse the rolls. There is something else that you’re not telling me.
Anya: And when they treated her like a queen, she would “Knight” them and slice their heads off.
Ben: Turning this girl into a killer.
Anya: It’s more of a “you wish it, I dish it” deal.
Ben: If you grant that wish, I will be forced to kill you. Don’t make it come to this.
Anya: Fine. Fine! Have it your way. What’s Christmas without a little vengeance?
Ben: Peaceful?!
Anya: Oh…before I go. A word from the demon world – Something’s coming.
Ben: Something’s always coming.
Anya: Something you’re not prepared for. The Council of Elders has foreseen this.
Ben: Foreseen what?
Anya: A big bad that you can’t kill.
Ben: Oh, Dac?
ANYA glared at BEN.
Anya: No! Like Dac could really hurt a fly!
Mandy: You’d be surprised.
Anya: Didn’t you die?
Mandy: Yeah? But I feel much better now.
Anya: Who raised her?
Ben: Brad.
Anya: Anyway, I have to split…so let me finish. This big bad is a demon of all demons. He is the one that demons fear, and the Slayer can’t stop it.
Ben: What is this demon?
Anya: That’s all I know. You know how to get a hold of me if you still ever need me. And don’t think that I’ll come running either. I’m a Vengeance Demon.
Ben: Right. Merry Christmas, Anya.
Anya: Bah Humbug!
ANYA teleported.
Ben: Maybe we shouldn’t celebrate Christmas anymore.
Tara: Why?
Ben: Last year, the girl I loved for the longest time came back, the man I trusted as a father made out with my girlfriend, and River…was not having parties.
River: Sorry.
Ben: Don’t be sorry.
JOEY’S eyes blinked.
Joey: Okay…okay. Let me get this straight. Ben, you’re some super weirdo who fights Vampires and Demons.
Ben: …The Slayer…
Joey: And that guy, he’s a vampire?
Ben: Yes.
Joey: Then kill him!
Ben: He has a soul. He can’t kill anyone innocently.
Joey: Okay…and River is like what?
River: I’m the Light. I don’t know what I shine on, but I supposedly can kill everyone if my energy is harnessed correctly.
Joey: Right. This is just a shade too creepy for me. You all have a good holiday and all.
BEN looked at RIVER as JOEY walked out of the house.
Ben: When did he have a change of heart?
River: I don’t know. It’s nice though.
Tara: Hey, Mandy and I are going to go home. We’ll come over tomorrow for like Lunch or Dinner?
Ben: That will be great.
BEN walked into the LIVING ROOM. SHANE and MARTY were SLEEPING on the ground.
Ben: Guys…wake up.
BEN shook them. SHANE and MARTY awoke.
Ben: Hey guys, go on home. I’ll have Falcon walk with you guys home.
SHANE and MARTY got up very slowly.
They STARTED out the door with FALCON.
Ben: Falcon?
FALCON turned around.
BEN extended his HAND to FALCON.
Ben: Thank you.
Falcon: Don’t mention it.
Ben: No…you don’t know why I’m thanking you, and I’m not telling you now…but thank you.
FALCON looked confused, but smiled. FALCON, SHANE and MARTY walked out of the house.
RIVER came downstairs, wearing his BOXER SHORTS.
River: I just thought about something.
Ben: What’s that?
River: Well, I’m wondering what mom’s doing, but how Para could possibly be happy celebrating Christmas right now.
Ben: Well, Mom, I’m sure is making the best of things. She always does. Para, she’s happy. She’s doing what she likes, and she’s at least with Rick, which makes me happy.
River: Why does that make you happy?
Ben: Because Rick will protect her. Now, come on – get up to your bed.
River: Story time?
Ben: I don’t think we’ll ever get rid of that ritual. So what if Dad and Mom aren’t here to read it to us? It didn’t stop me last year.
The LIGHTS in the HOUSE dimmed. BEN’S VOICE filled the air as the CAMERA pans to the FRONT PORCH WINDOW.
Ben: ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house…
PARA stares in the window, with a tear running down her cheek.
Ben: …not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS
BEN SMYTHE
VADER
RICK ARNOLD
12/21/2002 7:22:42 PM
(Updated: 12/21/2002 7:24:23 PM)
(Updated: 12/21/2002 7:36:20 PM)
Comment on this fan fiction!
|
|
|
