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Slayer - 5x11 - The New Gang
By Ben
CHARGER CITY GRAVEYARD
River: So now I’m the chosen one…
Shane: You’ll do fine, Riv. You’ve always got our support.
Joey: Yeah, Summers. This should be a breeze for you.
RIVER looks at JOEY.
River: It’s a lot harder than you make it sound, Joey. This means going out every night and killing almost anything that moves…vampires, demons, you name it, I pretty much kill it.
JOEY looks at the ground.
Joey: Just trying to help…
Marty: So, uh, River…what about your brother?
RIVER hesitates.
River: Ben’s gone bush. He’s leaving for a while and I have no idea as to when he’s coming back.
SHANE tilts his head and looks at RIVER.
Shane: Gone bush?
RIVER shakes his head.
River: Old term…someone I knew…I forget who, now.
Shane: Who? Ben? Rick?
River: No…someone else who…I can’t remember.
Marty: So what’s all this about your father?
River: Came back. I don’t know how. I just hope he doesn’t go as soon as my mother did…
RIVER breaks off, tears running down his face. JOEY pats him on the back.
Joey: I understand. It ain’t easy, remembering someone who died.
SHANE and MARTY nod in unison.
River: Thanks, guys.
Shane: No problem, pal. That’s what friends are for.
River: Friends…
Marty: Eh? What about them?
River: Oh, nothing. Just thinking about friends-turned-enemies.
Marty: Like who?
RIVER thinks of the most recent one.
River: Forget it. But until Ben gets back…River’s the top gun.
Marty: Where is he exactly?
River: No one knows. He was really upset by the death of Para’s father. That, seeing Para again…he’s probably off in Sunnydale helping Buffy or in LA helping Angel. I’m not worried -
A HAND pops up nearby. RIVER pulls out a STAKE.
River: Here we go again…
THE ELITE HEADQUARTERS
DAC stands in a cell, rattling the bars, screaming. A GUARD sits nearby.
Dac: Let me out! Please! The hold is gone! I’m me again!
Guard: Pull the other one, commander. You tried to double-cross us, so you’re screwed.
Dac: I tell you, I was being held! I didn’t have control! Let me out, please!
Guard: Does no suffice for an answer?
Dac: No, damn it!
Guard: Then I’ll just have to get used to the noise.
DAC screams in frustration.
A Zoom in of Charger City at night. “SLAYER” appears in red text. Scenes of BEN, RIVER and PARA all armed with stakes, facing down some vampires.
BEN dives through a window and pulls out a crossbow with a flaming arrow on the end. He releases the trigger and hits a VAMPIRE which explodes into dust. [Starring Ben] BEN and RIVER fight back-to-back against hordes of vampires.
BRAD is thrown forward by an explosion.
PARA throws a blue glowing orb at a DEMON. She dances with BEN at a NIGHTCLUB. PARA and DAC face each other down. [Para girl] PARA glares in rage at BEN.
SHANE and MARTY begin to whisper a chant.
RIVER walks into his high school, greeted by SHANE and MARTY. RIVER punches DAC in the face, knocking him backwards. [Jedi A. Malcolm] VAMPIRES surround RIVER, he spins around with a sword, decapitating them all as they turn to dust.
RIVER dives at some UberVamps in rage.
TARA looks through her books of spells. TARA kisses MANDY on the lips. [JP3 Girl] TARA’S body splits in too DARK MAGIC and LIGHT MAGIC. Tara fires an electric blue beam at a DEMON.
BOB KLINE laughs uncontrollably.
RICK spars in a ring with BEN. RICK pulls his crossbow out and fires. RICK and DAC whip out some SWORDS, glaring at each other. [Rick Arnold] Rick embraces SAMANTHA.
RYAN is held at gunpoint. RYAN spars with BEN. [And Dark Hunter as Ryan] RYAN’S hands glow and they produce lightning. RYAN throws a DEMON onto a pike.
BEN and RIVER walk the streets of CHARGER CITY with their BLACK coats flapping in the wind as if they were capes.
CHARGER CITY AIRPORT
SAM and RICK stood in the LOBBY, being greeted by PARA, RYAN, TARA, MANDY, RIVER and RIVER’S FRIENDS.
Ryan: So what’s the score now?
Guest Starring Bob as Bob Kline
Sam: As far as we can tell, the Hyper Demons, as Dac seemed to have named them, are all gone. Thank god for that, I never want to see them again.
Mandee as Mandy
Mandy: I can vouch for that.
Dac as General Dac Armstrong
Rick: What of Dac, where is he now?
Para: Underground, in the cells, or so Jester tells me. The guards keep telling Jester he’s screaming to be let out, that he was being controlled or some crap like that.
Aragorn as Shane
JPJunkee as Marty
PunkNerd as Joey Russo
Rick: Let him out? Like hell we will. He’s trying to make excuses. He was good at that, really. But he’s screwed now.
Para: That’s what the guard said. Regardless, it didn’t shut him up.
Labyrinth as Falcon
River: Take some duct tape down. Soundproof his door. Kick him a couple of times, that sometimes works.
SamFan as Sam
EVERYONE laughed.
Rick: Those are nice offers but they may be against regulations. However, the duct tape idea…I’ll put a pin in that for now.
The Host
Ryan: Even Dac isn’t dumb enough to know how to pull it off.
Rick: Maybe, but it’s worth a shot, you have to admit that.
Ryan: True, true.
Rick: Anyway, can we go? Sam and I have some news that we’re aching to break.
River: I was just about to suggest that, too. I’m starving; can we get some Chinese food on the way? Or maybe tacos?
Shane: How can a slayer live off junk like that? You might want to watch yourself, Riv, or you’ll need to take off a few pounds.
RIVER grinned and lightly hit SHANE in the gut. SHANE wheezed and gave RIVER a friendly punch in the arm. MARTY stepped between them to break it up and was soon dragged into it by a tap from RIVER.
Episode written and directed by Dac
Rick: Settle down, kids. What do you all say to a drink, I’m buying.
River: No food?
Rick: Grab a burger or something. Now let’s go!
RIVER bought a small bowl of NACHOS from the snack bar. RICK bought everyone a SODA, and they loaded up into the cars. TARA snatched some of RIVER’S nachos.
River: Hey! I paid for these!
TARA, MANDY and PARA all grinned.
Tara: With some money you found on the street, you little sneak.
RIVER scowled and looks at MARTY. MARTY was trying hard not to laugh. RIVER gave him a light hit on the head.
Marty: Hey, don’t start that again!
RICK’S LIVING ROOM
Rick: Well, first things first. I think we finally have somewhere to stick traitor boy Dac. We found a convenient little holding cell, in a small underground shed, in the woods about 250 miles out of Dansville, somewhere around 100 miles from here. It looks abandoned, and I think it’ll be perfect for him. We’ll drop in every now and then, but he should feel right at home in there, with only the other rats and spiders.
RICK handed out some photographs.
Rick: This is the place. See, one cell, and a whole lot of crap. He can’t cause any trouble from there.
Sam: We found in while just walking through the woods, aimlessly. It’s pretty much a small extension to a tiny little cave in a rock wall. Some idiot left the keys in the door. One for the front door, one for the cell. No windows, so as long as the door is shut there’s no light.
Rick: We were gonna shuttle him over as soon as possible.
Para: Good, then the guards can stop reporting to the medical center for headaches.
RIVER, SHANE, MARTY and JOEY all snigger. SAM, TARA, MANDY and RYAN gave them dull looks. RICK cleared his throat.
Rick: Ahem…may I continue?
River: Sure, sorry.
Rick: Anyway, we’re still trying to trace Brad’s killer…hopefully…hey wait, that reminds me, where’s Ben?
River: Gone bush.
Rick: What? Who gave you that one?
River: I am so sick of answering that. It means Ben has left for a while. I don’t know where. You were saying?
Rick: Oh…right. Well, see, we’ve been trying to trace Brad’s killer and for a while we had a lock. He seemed situated around this area. Then all of a sudden, the link vanishes, and our leads go up in smoke. But he hasn’t left this area for a while, so we should find him soon…hopefully.
Ryan: Great.
Rick: So what’s the news on this front?
River: No sign of the Host. He’s gone quiet recently. But we had trouble with a guy named HBK, some sort of demon. Ben killed his friend MikeyMike before he left, though. Nothing really exciting. Bob’s passed a few weird laws though, and we’re getting suspicious. That’s it, really.
Rick: Glad to see this place is OK. I guess locking Dac up scared the Host a bit.
Ryan: Perhaps, but that doesn’t mean he won’t be back.
Rick: I know. Now…I mentioned some big news for you, correct?
Mandy: Yeah, you did, and I’ve been dying to find out what it is since you mentioned it. The suspense is killing me!
Rick: Well…
RICK hesitates. SAM nods.
Rick: Sam and I…are getting married.
SILENCE fell. Then TARA and MARTY jumped up and held out their hands.
Tara: Congratulations! I’m so happy for you both!
Sam: Thanks, Tara. May not seem like the most romantic of times, but hey, it’s us. We’re not exactly the most average of citizens.
Marty: You can say that again. Congratulations.
Rick: Thanks, kiddo.
Marty: Will you stop calling us kids, please!
RICK chuckled. Everyone else stood up and congratulated them.
Para: Happy at last…I’ve waited a while to see you this happy, Rick.
Rick: Thanks, Para. How long, if you’ve been counting?
Para: About a year or so.
Rick: Heh, well, I guess this is one thing I owe Dac. At least he brought Sam to me.
RICK and SAM embrace. Para wrinkles her nose.
Para: You owe Dac? I don’t think so. You paid him your debt by landing him in the slammer.
Everyone laughed.
CHARGER CITY WOODS-NIGHT
BEN sat alone in a tent, flipping through a photo album. He saw a photo of RICK and SAM hugging, and smiling.
Ben: Happy times…
He saw a photo of DAC before he switched sides, sitting at a bar with RICK.
Ben: I have to remember to shred that one.
He pulled out a bottle of water and takes a sip, flipping through the album, with such photos as RIVER with JOAN; TARA and MANDY; RYAN in a shooting range and ICE with BECKY laughing at one of ANYA’S jokes. He finally spotted a photo of him and PARA in the same pose as RICK and SAM in the photo before.
Ben: Bah…
BEN looked skyward, contemplating something. Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind and he swore out loud.
Ben: Damn it! How the hell am I gonna get a newspaper?
COMMERCIAL
It’s a ring, but it’s nothing to do with marriage. It’s a planet, but it’s not a globe. It’s artificial, but that doesn’t mean it’s man-made. And it houses a deep dark secret, which will soon be uncovered. Pull out your assault rifle and turn on the Warthog’s ignition, and get ready for Halo! And it may be called that, but the people who live there, but they definitely aren’t angels. Now play!
THE ELITE HEADQUARTERS
DAC was in his cell, still yelling and screaming to let him out.
Dac: PLEASE! I’m begging you, let me out! The hold is broken!
Guard: Keep on begging, it won’t do a thing.
Dac: LET ME OUT, PLEASE!
RICK and SAM walked in, and glared at DAC.
Guard: Sir!
The GUARD saluted. RICK returned the salute.
Dac: Rick! Please! Let me out, the hold is gone! I’m me again!
Rick: Sounds more like you’re a vagrant. You’re not getting out.
Dac: Sam, please! Come on, please!
Sam: No. You tried to kill us, so no go. You’ll come out of the cell soon anyway, to a much more private one.
Dac: What? No, please!
The GUARD looks up.
Guard: What’s this?
Sam: He’s being transferred. You won’t need to buy any earplugs.
Guard: Thank god. Mind if I grab some food? Listening to him all afternoon makes you hungry.
Rick: Sure, go ahead.
The GUARD walked out. RICK and SAM walked over to the cell. DAC fell to his knees.
Dac: Please, I’m begging you! Let me go! I’m sorry, but it wasn’t my fault!
Rick: Sure, Dac, it’s really not your fault that you pulled a sword on me and tried to kill me.
Dac: I’m telling you, I was controlled!
Rick: That’s the lamest excuse you ever pulled.
Dac: Why the hell won’t anyone listen to me at least for five minutes?!
Rick: Because you turned your back on your organization and friends to create some demons for global domination, and tried to kill all your friends. That just puts you a little in the black books.
Dac: Great. So I get controlled, lose my friends and become a criminal for some stuff I can barely even remember because I was wiped and used. Oy.
DAC fell onto his bed and stared despondently at the ceiling.
Rick: We’re not finished yet, Dac.
Dac: What now?
Sam: Your transferal is happening tonight.
DAC sat up straight, eyes wide.
Dac: What?
Sam: It’s out to the woods for you. A private cell.
DAC was silent. The GUARD yelled from above.
Guard: Oh sure, he shuts up AFTER I leave! Talk about redundancy!
Rick: Keep walking.
Guard: Yes, sir.
Sam: That’s how it goes, Dac. You’ve proven to be a traitor, we’re putting you away. Don’t worry, we might visit sometimes…with guns.
DAC backed away and grabbed the bars of his window.
RIVER’S HOUSE
Shane: Still no word from your brother?
River: Not a sign.
Marty: You’re sure he didn’t say where he was going?
River: For the last time, yes.
Marty: Sheesh, I was just asking. Don’t blow a fuse. What’s up with you?
River: Sorry. I just feel a bit strange. I’ve got a feeling something’s gonna happen soon. And anyway, I’ve got jobs to face, even if I am a renegade. Oh, that reminds me! I need to go patrolling!
Joey: I’ll come, too. I need something to do.
River: What about your mother?
Joey: She’s away for the weekend, and my dad won’t be in until sometime around midnight.
River: OK, sure. What are you guys gonna do?
Shane: There’s a 007 movie on tonight. I’m gonna tape it. Marty, you wanna swing by and watch it?
Marty: Which one is it?
Shane: I think it’s Goldfinger. It might be Octopussy, but either is good
River: OK. See you guys tomorrow. I’m out of here. Come on, Joey.
MARTY and SHANE left. RIVER and JOEY walked out.
Joey: If there’s anything I can do to help, all you have to do is ask.
River: Thanks, I appreciate the offer. But I don’t know if I can take you up on it. This job is really hard. Just keep yourself out of trouble is all I can ask right now. Trouble is kicking up, I can feel it.
Joey: OK. But if you need something, the offer still stands.
River: Thanks.
RIVER and JOEY entered the graveyard. A DEMON prowled around, growling. The boys saw it immediately as it picked up a VAMPIRE and hurled it into a tombstone.
River: Great.
RIVER extracts a sword and JOEY pulled out a cigarette lighter.
River: Since when did you start smoking?
Joey: I didn’t. I just figured it could come in handy against vampires.
River: Nice work. Now let’s get the demon!
The pair ran towards the DEMON. JOEY dove and jammed the lighter into the DEMON’S eyes. The DEMON roared in pain and RIVER hacked at it with the sword.
River: What, is this guy on steroids?
JOEY picked up a STICK and threw it into the DEMON’S mouth. The DEMON choked and fell over. RIVER drove the sword into the DEMON’S head. It slumped over, dead.
Joey: Well, that couldn’t have been any weirder. How the hell did it survive the slashes?
River: I don’t know.
Joey: Could it be one of those Hyper Demons?
River: No. Dac made them just that much recognizable. This isn’t one of them. A crossbreed, maybe, but somehow I think it may just be a mutation.
Joey: I hope it is. From what I hear the Hyper Demons are harder to kill than any other type of demon.
River: Yep. Dac may not have been the sharpest tool in the shed but he knew how to make powerful demons.
Not far off…
Falcon: Stupid demon! What’d he attack me for?
THE ELITE HEADQUARTERS
RICK ARNOLD and SAM walked out onto the HELIPAD. A CHOPPER touched down and RICK pulled out a WALKIE-TALKIE.
Rick: The ride’s here. Bring him up.
A GUARD walked up from downstairs, pushing DAC, who was tied up at the wrists and gagged.
Rick: Toss him on, tie his ankles.
Guard: Yes, sir.
The GUARD shoved DAC on board and tied his ankles.
Guard: Bye bye, headaches!
Once done, the GUARD walked off, WHISTLING. RICK and SAM climbed into the cockpit.
Rick: Tower, this is Relief Chopper. Ready for take-off on your signal.
Tower operator: Affirmative, Relief Chopper. Clear for departure. See you later, Rick.
Rick: Bye, everyone. See you when we get back.
The CHOPPER lifts off. DAC squirmed in the back and yelled, but the gag muffled his cries.
Sam: Shut up, Dac. Yelling won’t do you any good.
DAC didn’t stop yelling, and his cries seemed a lot more agitated than in the cell, but due to the gag neither RICK nor SAM could understand him.
Rick: What’s wrong with him?
Sam: No idea. Maybe he left a crust of bread back in the cell.
RICK and SAM both laughed.
Half an hour later…
Rick: Is he ever going to shut up?
Sam: I think I’ll take it off. If we hear him out for a little while he might shut up.
SAM walked over and ripped the gag off DAC. DAC immediately started yelling.
Dac: WATCH OUT!
Sam: Huh? Shut it!
SAM hit DAC. DAC fell silent.
Sam: Thank you. Now keep it shut or I’ll be forced to hurt you even more. I’ll even go so far as to rip off your finger.
She replaced the gag and walked back to the cockpit.
Rick: Well? How’d you shut him up?
Sam: Knock on the head.
Rick: Good.
Suddenly, a hard blow landed on RICK’S head and he fell unconscious.
Sam: Rick! RICK!
Suddenly the fist landed on SAM’S head and she fell down, too. The FIGURE entered the cockpit and flicked the lights on, and turned out to be DAC.
Dac: Got to time it just right to drop it into the trees…and get the hell out of this morph!
DAC morphed into the HOST.
Host: Much better. Maybe now I won’t act like such an idiot!
Someone walked up behind the HOST, and put a hand on his shoulder. It was BOB.
Bob: Cut him some slack, he helped us a bit.
Host: Whatever. We cut him loose now, agreed?
Bob: Yep. Oh, and thanks for this morphing thing, it’s really cool.
BOB morphed into the HOST.
Bob: Awesome.
Host: Hey, there’s only one Host. Snap out of it. Morph into one of them, or our friend in the back, or the Slayer, even. But not me!
Bob: Fine, fine.
BOB morphed back into himself.
Host: I may as well make the rest of them think that Dac was the one who caused this.
HOST morphed into RICK and turned the radio frequency to the Elite Headquarters.
Host: This is Rick! Dac is loose! Repeat, Dac is loose! Send help, quick…aaaaaaaggh!
Quickly, the HOST cut the transmission.
Host: Easy.
Bob: How about Dac? Didn’t you give him this ability?
Host: I’m pretty sure I took it off him. But even if I didn’t, he’ll be a charred corpse in a few.
Bob: What about those two?
BOB pointed at RICK and SAM, still unconscious and deaf to this conversation.
Host: Hostages. We can get the Slayer in the wrong holding these two.
Bob: Nice work. Now let’s get some parachutes.
BOB and the HOST grabbed some parachutes and the two captives.
Bob: Bon voyage, buddy!
DAC somehow bit the gag off.
Dac: I’ll find a way out of this, no fear, you mind-warping bastard.
Bob: Weren’t you told to keep it shut?
Dac: Why don’t you, for a change?!
DAC managed to jump up and dive at BOB. BOB neatly sidestepped and DAC hit the doorway. BOB drove a knife into DAC’S leg and pulled it out again. Blood splattered on the floor. DAC yelled in pain and slumps against the door, trying to hold the wound closed with his bound hands and not succeeding. BOB dropped the knife to the floor in disgust.
Host: Under the circumstances…maybe you won’t be cremated.
The HOST hit the ‘release doorway’ button. DAC fell out, screaming.
Bob: Was that necessary?
Host: Shuts him up sooner.
Bob: Right. Now let’s dive!
BOB and the HOST jumped out. The CHOPPER plummeted to earth and slammed into some trees in a huge explosion.
Not far off…
Ben: What the hell was that?
BLACK SCREEN WITH RED TEXT
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS
BEN SMYTHE
YVONNE BARTHA
7/26/2003 1:42:08 PM
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