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Getting to Know You 2
By AlanGrant5
GETTING TO KNOW YOU
Written by Devin Da Graca
CUT TO:
INT. - JIM’S CAR – MORNING
JIM’S cell phone sits in the passenger seat, silently vibrating against a loud backdrop of stereo pumped music. JIM is singing along to ATTITUDE by ALIEN ANT FARM, while driving 50 mph in a 35 mph zone.
Quickly approaching a red light, JIM decides to take a short cut through the parking lot of a restaurant, to avoid the light. Speeding through the parking lot, JIM finds his exit, and quickly, without looking, makes a right hand turn. This maneuver cuts off a van behind him, to which the van responds with two loud honks of the horn.
JIM, startled, turns down the music and looks into his rearview mirror.
JIM
(waving his hand)
Oh, shit! Sorry, sorry!
JIM keeps looking back, noticing that the van is following him.
JIM
(to himself)
Fuck, please don’t go to my school, please, please, please.
Reaching a four way stop, JIM feels confidant in losing his tracker. By the time it’s his turn to move forward, two different vehicles stand between him and the vengeful minivan.
JIM
(again to himself)
Thank you Jesus.
JIM pulls into the school entrance. A sign at the entrance reads: VALLEY CHRISTIAN SCHOOL. Driving past a pearly white gate, JIM speeds into the back lot parking area of the campus and quickly parks himself in his designated spot. Two of JIM’S friends, NICK and RYAN, greet him in his rearview mirror. They are headed over to JIM’S car. JIM sees them and unlocks his doors, pulling his backpack up front with him.
NICK
(opening the back door)
Good to know I won’t be the
only one in detention today.
NICK and RYAN both hop into the backseat.
JIM
I still have five minutes until
class starts.
JIM pulls out a sheet of paper from his backpack, placing his yet-to-be-finished homework on top of an opened math book. He quickly begins to jot down random numbers that aren’t the correct answers, but look as if they could be… from a distance.
JIM
(busily writing)
I think I’m only on my third tardy.
RYAN
You get a detention on your third.
JIM
(looking at RYAN through the rearview mirror)
I thought you get one on your fourth
and they warn you on the third?
RYAN
Naw, man, it’s on the third. They
warn you the first two times.
JIM
Crap.
(beat)
Don’t you have a first period Ry?
RYAN
Yeah, but Mr. Harris let us out ten
minutes early cuz he said he
had an emergency or somethin’.
NICK
(staring out the window)
Oh, yeah, some emergency all right.
The camera pans in on NICK’S point of view, only to find a large man, presumably MR. HARRIS, walking down a hallway with a box of breakfast snacks in hand.
NICK, RYAN, and JIM chuckle as they watch the nearly obese educator waddle his way back to class, munching on a bear claw.
RYAN
Hey, if I were as big as him, I’d define
an empty stomach as an emergency too.
JIM
Empty? Are you kidding me? If we were to
gut him open right now, I guarantee you
that at least four to five missing persons would turn up; a piñata for cannibals.
NICK
Well, at least he’s walking and eating.
RYAN
Burning carbs Pac-Man style.
NICK AND RYAN laugh, while JIM smirks at the remark, continuing work on his math assignment.
NICK
Oh, dude, you hear about Brittney’s
party tonight?
JIM
Naw, didn’t hear anything about it.
NICK
Yeah, dude, she’s turning eighteen.
You know what that means? Means she’s
legal.
RYAN
(laughs)
So? What are you gonna do about it?
Bone her? Just because she’s legal
doesn’t mean she’s gonna give it up
to you.
NICK
What’s that supposed to mean?
RYAN
You’re acting like age is what’s
been keeping you from hookin’ up
with her.
NICK
Yeah, and? Unlike Michael Jackson,
I don’t like pickin’ my bitches up
from day care.
RYAN
First of all, Michael Jackson doesn’t
pick up bitches, he picks up the sons
of bitches. And second, doesn’t matter
if Brittney were eighteen or twenty-six,
you still wouldn’t have the balls to go
up and talk to her.
NICK
Oh yeah? Shit, that’s what parties are for. You’ll see.
RYAN
Yeah, I’ll see your ass get dismissed, that’s what I’ll see.
JIM begins to shake his head at the quarreling friends, still persistent with his homework.
NICK
Dismissed? I have a better chance at hookin’ it up with Brittney than your ugly ass does.
RYAN
Hey, I might be an ugly ass, but at least chicks know what they’re dealin’ with up front, unlike you.
NICK
Unlike me? What’s that supposed to mean?
RYAN
Means you’re just an exterior. You’re like a Ken doll; the chicks dig ya, ‘till they start diggin’ through them drawers and find out you ain’t got no dick.
NICK
(laughs)
I got a dick and you can suck it.
JIM laughs.
RYAN
No thank you, I’m a vagina-tarian.
A knock on JIM’S window disrupts the laughs. NICK and RYAN silence themselves and sit quietly, while an OLDER WOMAN stands at the driver’s window. JIM sets his homework aside and proceeds to roll down his window.
WOMAN
(disappointedly)
And you go to a Christian school.
JIM
Excuse me?
WOMAN
You know, my daughters didn’t want me
coming up to you and making a scene-
JIM begins to realize that this was the woman in the van, the one he had cut off earlier. The minivan is parked directly behind him.
JIM
Oh, my God, I’m so-
WOMAN
Don’t you dare bring God into this.
JIM stops himself from speaking and pays attention to the woman. NICK and RYAN sit in the back, enjoying the show.
WOMAN
You know, I saw you driving down
Hollywood Way and I thought to myself,
‘Wow, what a handsome young man. I
hope one day, my daughter will find
a man as well-dressed and nice looking
as him.’
JIM’S eyebrows begin to curl up, uncertain with where the woman is going with her scolding, confused with what she meant by ‘well dressed’ and ‘handsome’. The two friends in the back seat restrain themselves from laughing by looking in different directions.
WOMAN
And then you go and change that in
the blink of an eye, literally.
JIM
I’m sorry, I didn’t see-
WOMAN
It doesn’t matter. Had I been the
only person in my car, I would have
let you slip on by, but I wasn’t. I
had my children in the car. My
children. I don’t appreciate anyone
endangering the lives of my children.
JIM
Endangering the lives of your children?
I think you’re blowing this a little bit
out of-
The WOMAN’S eyes begin to dig into JIM’S suddenly unapologetic speech. JIM cowers down and resorts back to his apologetic stance.
` JIM
I’m sorry. Honestly I didn’t see-
WOMAN
You didn’t see because you didn’t look.
JIM shuts up again, his third attempt at an apology shut down by the zestful Christian mother.
JIM
You’re right, I’m sorry.
The WOMAN grunts and looks behind JIM. She sees NICK and RYAN in the back seat.
WOMAN
And you drive like a maniac with
two passengers of your own?
JIM
Oh, no, they weren’t-
NICK
I told him to slow down, but he
wouldn’t listen.
JIM looks back at NICK viciously, then back at the WOMAN. RYAN coughs out a chuckle.
WOMAN
(smiling detestably as she leans back out of the window)
All of you teenage boys drive the same.
JIM
No, they weren’t with me-
WOMAN
What’s your name?
JIM
Jim, my name’s Jim.
WOMAN
Jim? My name’s Dana. I’ll be praying
for you Jim.
JIM
(Unsure of how to respond)
Oh… okay, thanks.
DANA
You go to a Christian school Jim. It
wouldn’t hurt to ask yourself what Jesus
would do before pulling a stunt like that.
DANA walks back to her van. The moment she gets into the vehicle, with the slam of a door, she quickly pulls out and speeds out of the parking lot.
NICK and RYAN burst out laughing once the coast is clear.
RYAN
(mockingly patting JIM on the shoulder)
I’ll pray for you dog.
NICK and RYAN continue with another wave of laughter.
JIM
(a bit stunned by DANA’S words)
Ask myself what Jesus would’ve done? There weren’t any cars in Jesus’ day, he would’ve probably killed a few pedestrians before reaching the parking lot.
NICK
Geez Jim, don’t drive like such a maniac. My life nearly flashed before my eyes.
JIM
(pissed off)
Yeah, and fuck you very much for that by
the way.
NICK and RYAN both laugh themselves out of JIM’S car.
RYAN
Gonna be late for class.
JIM
(to himself)
Shit.
JIM packs up his books and rushes out the car. The three friends disperse, each going their own way.
NICK
(calling out)
See you guys at nutrition.
RYAN
Later.
JIM
Lates.
JIM runs up a flight of stairs and torpedoes down an empty hallway. Just three classrooms away, the bell rings, as does the subliminal message of his future detention. JIM stands in the hallway, sighs, and walks down to his class.
Let me know what you think. Thanks for readin~
2/1/2005 5:57:43 AM
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