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    A major Christian group called TLW a "vote for evolution" and an "attack on Christianity" when it came out in 1997.
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    Dan's Page Kill All Zombies (Part 5)
    By Aragorn

    Dino-Snore, Carnotaur3, and StealthRaptor had their backs up against a wall, hidden in the shadows.

    “There’s a mall just around the corner.” Carnotaur3 explained. “I used to go there all the time.”

    Dino-Snore peaked around the corner and saw a large parking lot filled with zombies shuffling about. Beyond that was a gigantic mall. He brings his head back around. “You’re right, however there is one very large group of undead fuckers in the way and we don’t have enough ammo to deal with them all.”

    “So what do we do?” StealthRaptor asked. “That mall would be a great place to wait this out, but it’s pointless to even try if we can’t reach it.”

    “Let me think of a plan.” Dino-Snore said. He began to think of a plan, but his thoughts were interrupted when music began playing. It took him a few seconds to realize it was ‘Crazy in Love’ by Beyonce’ and Jay-Z. Every single zombie head turned in the direction of the music, which was coming from right above their heads.

    “What the fuck…” Dino-Snore backed up a bit so he could see the roof of the building a bit better. He saw a person on the roof with a CD Player blaring. The person, who wore a nametag for some kind of electronic store that read ‘Dac’ on it, began dancing to the song.

    Even more stranger, the zombies began slowly and clumsily copying his dance moves.

    “Maybe this is what hell really is like.” StealthRaptor said, dumbfounded.

    “Ok, I got a plan.” Dino-Snore spoke up. “Just follow my lead.” Before Carnotaur3 and StealthRaptor could object, Dino-Snore jumped out from behind the corner…And began dancing as well, slowly making his way to the mall’s entrance. The zombies didn’t seem to be going for him.

    “When in Rome…” Carnotaur3 went next.

    “But we’re not in Rome!” StealthRaptor whispered loudly after him. He looked around him and then back out at the zombies and his companions. “Ohhhh maaannnn.” And then he too, followed suit.

    The trio stupidly danced their way past the dancing zombies and reached the mall. Dino-Snore pulled open the doors and all three ran inside. Once inside, they closed and locked the doors.

    ***

    IKK Viper walked around the inside of the Nuclear testing building. He figured it was a safe enough place to hide for the time being. He had managed to find a few guns of varying class around and about and so he had loaded up on those. He currently held a nice rocket launcher, fully loaded.

    He removed the bandage from his arm and saw the infection from his bite was spreading. It now currently occupied his entire hand and wrist. Suddenly the hand moved on its own. Nothing major really, just jerked a bit, almost like a spasm.

    Viper looked at his hand, and then suddenly it turned to ‘look’ at him. Before he knew what was going on, it poked him in the eyes. Viper screamed and dropped the rocket launcher as the Hand reached onto his belt and pulled off a handgun. It pointed it at him, but Viper knocked it away with his other hand and then used his hand and knees to hold his bad Hand down.

    “You’re dead, sucker.”

    Viper took out a hunting knife and raised it up. He brought it down with all the force he could and chopped hi Zombiefied Hand off. Blood splattered up across his face as he screamed in pain.

    The Hand immediately got up and used its fingers to run across the room and hide behind a computer terminal.

    “Say Goodbye, bitch.”

    Viper used his good hand and raised the rocket launcher onto his shoulder. He lined the computer terminal up with the eye sight and fired.

    Zombiefied Mikeymike stumbled into the room.

    “Brai…”

    The rocket slammed into the computer terminal, and caused a massive explosion that resulted in a chain reaction that caused the entire facility to explode in one gigantic fireball.

    ***

    A zombie’s head exploded. Aragorn and Seth Rex rushed down the street, firing at the next zombie that moved towards them. In the distance, there was a massive explosion. A few seconds later they were hit by a warm blast of air.

    “What the hell was that?” Aragorn asked.

    “I think that was the Nuclear Testing Facility.” Seth Rex answered. “I don’t know what the hell is going on out there, but I think we should pick up the pace.”

    Aragorn nodded his head in agreement.

    ***

    On a nearby Site, General Rancor turned to his troops, which were all standing at attention. “Dan’s has been infected by a viral outbreak. We must not allow this disease to spread to other Sites.”

    “How do we do that, sir?” One of the soldiers asked.

    “Simple. General RaptorVinny, if you please…”

    RaptorVinny walked into the room, pushing a large, heavy, metal object. “This is a Fusion Site Destroyer.” Vinny explained. “We plant this in the middle of the Site and…Boom.” Vinny made an explosive motion with his hands.

    “You boys will be sent in.” General Rancor explained. “Led by General RaptorVinny himself. Good luck and Godspeed.”

    The men saluted and then turned and walked out of the room, and began loading up into a dropship. A few of the soldiers rushed up to RaptorVinny and started pushing the Site Destroyer onto the dropship.

    ***

    Dino-Snore opened the door to the Electrical Room and pushed all the switches up. Lights began turning on all over the mall and peaceful music began playing over the system.

    “There.” Dino-Snore said to himself. He turned and walked back out to where Carnotaur3 and StealthRaptor were waiting.

    “So now what?” StealthRaptor asked.

    “We can survive here for awhile.” Carnotaur3 answered. “As long as the zombies stay out there and we stay in here, the place is ours. Do what we want.”

    “I don’t know about you guys,” Dino-Snore said, “But I feel like getting rid of some of the competition outside.”

    “What do you mean?” StealthRaptor asked.

    Dino-Snore just smiled and walked down the hall.

    “What does he mean?” StealthRaptor asked Carnotaur3, who just shrugged.

    ***

    A few minutes later Dino-Snore was on the roof of the mall, a pile of guns and ammo next to him. On his way to the roof he had stopped in at the Gun store and stocked up. Carnotaur3 and StealthRaptor emerged behind him.

    “What are doing?” StealthRaptor asked.

    Dino-Snore raised a rifle and aimed down at the group of shuffling zombies. He fired and a head exploded in a display of gore. He aimed at another and did the same thing. Then another.

    “Hey, guys where did our friend on the roof go?” Carnotaur3 asked. They all looked over at the roof that Dac had been on, but he was no longer there. Instead, three zombies milled about.

    “Bastards.” Dino-Snore swore. He raised the gun and fired three times. The zombies went down.

    ***

    Seth Rex and Aragorn were rushing down a street. Aragorn killed a nearby zombie. “I’m out.” He said, throwing his guns to the ground.

    Seth Rex fired his last few shots at any nearby zombies. “So am I.” He threw his gun away as well. “Now what?”

    Aragorn looked at the shuffling zombies as they continued to jog. “Just keep running.” Aragorn said. “They can’t catch us if we move quickly.”

    “I want brains!”

    Aragorn and Seth turned their heads and saw a Runner take off after them. “Shit!” Aragorn yelled.

    “Now what?”

    “We split up!” Aragorn suggested. “You take the left ally, I’ll take the right. We’ll meet up at the Off-Site transport.”

    “Ok. Good-luck.” Seth Rex said.

    Aragorn patted him on the back. “You too.”

    Seth turned and ran down an ally while Aragorn turned and ran down the opposite ally. He stopped and looked back, seeing the Runner chasing after Seth. He chuckled.

    FLASHBACK:

    “You too.” As Aragorn patted Seth on the back, he attached a fragrant smelly thing to the back of Seth’s shirt.

    END FLASHBACK.

    “No hard feelings.” Aragorn smiled as he walked down the ally.

    ***

    Seth screamed as the Runner chased after him, catching up. Seth ran around a corner and quickly hid in front of a lightpole. As the Runner ran by, Seth chuckled and turned to go back the other way, but saw he was face-to-face with another zombie.

    “Gulp.” Was all Seth could say before the zombie leaped on him.

    2/10/2005 5:55:03 PM
    (Updated: 2/10/2005 5:58:03 PM)

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